This fic is not meant to offend

WARNING: much Dawn, Angel and Riley bashing, the possibility of naked Spike and also, if you don't approve of slash, then don't bother, not that there's much, but there is some.

Decided to cut all the crap, seeing as if you haven't picked it up by now you must be bloody slow… or else you're reading it sdrawkcab! Hehe…

This chapter is a bit of an outing from the plot… (yes, that's it… keep them thinking that you have a plot for this story…) Just so you know…

I'd forgotten all about the manly Spike thing, so be prepared for lots more of that in upcoming chapters!

Buffy and the Melodramatic Parody

Joan stood there with her mouth hanging wide open as she stared gobsmacked at the sight before her. The volume of the screaming had intensified as the door had swung open.

The earsplitting scream stopped abruptly when the offender was hit in the chest by the figure next to them.

The shrieking screams had caused Rupert, Anya, Willow, Alex, Tara and Ikandy to come running in from next door. They all crashed into each other as they caught sight of what all the fuss was about.

"Nice of you to show up…" Joan grumbled. She thought for a moment, annoyed that some of them had passed her to get the Magic Box when she was lying on the floor. She opened her mouth to express her annoyance when they all butted in with the same remark.

Hysterical laughter.

Joan blinked, turning her attention back to the scene before her. The reaction of the others had loosened her own, and she joined the shrieks of laughter.

For several (ok, ten) minutes the laughter continued, until one of the people being laughed at finally snapped.

"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!! Look! I'm not ashamed! My friend here obviously is, but I don't think there's anything wrong with me!"

The laughter stopped abruptly as this tirade spewed forth. When it was done they all burst out laughing again.

The indignant party sat down on a handily placed chair to sit it out.

*Two Hours Later*

Finally the shrieks became snorts, then the snorts turned into giggles, then the giggles into snickers, then the snickers died away.

Joan, Ikandy, Anya, Rupert, Alex, Willow and Tara all stared at the figures now lying on the ground before them, waiting for some sort of explanation.

Angel glanced at Riley before beginning his story.

"Well, I met Riley on his way to your house after you had so brutally rejected him! He was getting drunk, and since drink is the Devil's own water I took it off him! He soon sobered up enough to tell me of your cruel rejection though! I realized why he had been drinking, and we went to get right royally pissed."

The group (including the very slow Riley) stared at him, waiting for the exclamation mark (point).

"What?!" he said, and they all blinked with relief.

"Anyway!" he said, giving them strange looks.

"We got very pissed and ended up trying to get back to the Magic Box to give Buffy a telling off (here he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively) when we got the wrong doorway and ended up here! We saw the dresses, and because we were so drunk we put them on. The shoes were a natural progression, and the wigs, make-up and purses just felt right! You know… at the time, when we were drunk!"

Joan arched an eyebrow at the sorry pair, and Ikandy snorted with laughter,

"Bloody bollocks!" he exclaimed, sneering at them,

"They may be gullible enough to believe that, but I'm a vampire. I can smell alcohol from a mile off, and there isn't a drop fresh on either of you."

Angel coughed none-too-subtly and Riley blushed a deep shade of pink that clashed horribly with his wig.

The ridiculousness of the situation was evident to anybody who could see it.

Angel was dressed in a knee length, tight sheath dress that showed every bulge of his body. He had a tightly curled blonde wig that looked surprisingly natural and five-inch stiletto heels. He clutched a large embroidered purse close to his chest, and looked out from under bright blue eye shadow and heavy blusher.

Riley wore a low cut meringue dress that showed up his hairy chest and drooped a few inches off the floor due to his height plus the six inch pointy shoes he wobbled on. He had a bouquet of daisies in his fist, and wore a vibrant orange sixties style wig. The scarlet lipstick clashed both with his hair and his face. Quite an accomplishment for such a dickhead.

"Ok FINE!" said Angel in his usual manner. "We were dressing up so we could look like YOU Buffy, because we're both madly in love with you and wanted to act out our most erotic fantasies on each other because we knew you'd never oblige!"

Buffy glanced at Ikandy before a shudder shook her entire body. Ikandy, however, remained unfazed.

"Bollocks" he said again, casually.

"Ok FINE!" Angel said once more (with feeling), and he grabbed Riley's hand in his.

"We're gay."

YEY! Sorry for the delay but the worst of exams are OVER!!! And, more importantly… I'VE SEEN THE MATRIX RELOADED!!! And it's just as fab as I'd thought… got thoroughly confused though, so I'll just have to see it again! What a shame! ;)

MindOverMatter - The no criticism thing I can definitely handle! Thanks for being a lovely reviewer! Well you know… I try… Dawn bashing is easily done for me, and describing Spike in any other way than manly? No thank you! :D keep reviewing like you do and I'll keep writing!

Melian - well… it's true! There IS only one street in Sunnydale! Ok, well thanks for giving me another perspective! And actually the season six finale… with the tiny bit of backbone, made me like her a teensy, teensy bit more (did I mention it was a teensy bit?)

Azure K Mello - Sorry to disappoint you on the whole X/S thing… maybe later on ;) Xander will stay gay though! oh, by the way, I'll try to get the next chapter to you soon! Just thought I should update my own fic first! And I'd only incorporate ideas that were worth putting in! Ah the Matrix… *gets lost in thought* Lol, Link's sister in law is one lucky bitch! Although I'd be more jealous if she were sleeping with Keanu too… ooh…

Wolf116- what a fantastic idea! Or like Barbie- "Shear your own Umad! So many crazy different styles to create!" heehee! Thanks for the entertainment! Keep amusing me with your fantastic ideas!