Slowly and steadily, the footsteps came closer. Squeezed inside the closet, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman kept perfectly still.
Suddenly, the footsteps halted…right outside the closet.
Everyone was sweating like a polar bear at the beach.
They heard a grunt. Then the footsteps resumed, stopped, started again, and faded away somewhere. Somewhere a door opened, the hinges squeaking with age and rust. Then the door slammed shut, and everything was quiet.
Moments later, the closet door burst open. The two humans and the two animals tumbled into the hall. "That was close," said Andy, sprawled on the floor.
Hobbes nodded. "Another minute and we'd have died from hamster breath."
"My breath smells wonderful," the hamster boasted.
"Whatever you say, Vermin," Hobbes replied sweetly.
"That's Sherman!"
Andy grabbed Sherman and jammed him in his pocket. "That's enough out of you," he said sternly.
Calvin, or rather, Stupendous Man, looked around. "It would appear 'whatever it was' picked up our things," he concluded in a heroic voice.
"What are you doing, Calvin?" Andy asked.
"Who?"
Hobbes whispered into Andy's ear. "That's Stupendous Man. You'll get used to it."
"At least he didn't take my basketball," Andy said.
"I still have the flashlight," Hobbes said. "All I lost was a few hundred cans of tuna. I can get by. I know I smelled some in here earlier. And Calvin can still get his other stuff back. I imagine it'll be hurled back at him at any moment once the Creature realizes what it has in the bag."
"Stow it," Calvin snorted.
"I had all of my best stuff in that backpack," Andy added.
"You still have Vermin," said Hobbes. "Maybe you can trade him to the Creature for your more valuable, not to mention more intelligent, possessions."
Sherman poked his head out of the pocket. "To quote Albert Einstein," he said, "'You stink, and so do your relatives.'"
"Einstein never said that," argued Hobbes.
"Did too," insisted Sherman. "It's in his theory of relativity."
"I don't think that's what he meant by relativity," Calvin said unsurely, now out of his Stupendous Man outfit. He came to a decision. "Andy, you and Sherman should probably get out of here. They'll probably go easy on you if you explain your sissy problems to them. I can't go home yet. My parents won't listen to me when I tell them that I saved the world once, and I'm going to regain my rightful title as hero by taking out that Teacher Creature! Besides, I still have to get my stuff back."
"Are you crazy, kid?" Andy exclaimed. "The Creature could be lurking around the next corner. You'll never make it out of here alive."
"I'm with Andy," Hobbes agreed.
"Does the term 'scaredy cat' mean anything to you?" asked Sherman.
"Does the term 'hamster burger' mean anything to you?" Hobbes shot back.
"Catch you later, Calvin," Andy said. "Good luck." Scooping up the basketball, the boy turned and walked down the hall towards a broken window.
As he climbed out of the building, Sherman squeaked, "Scaredy cat, scaredy cat…"
Calvin watched them disappear. "Poor kid just can't accept that his problems are stupid. Come on, Hobbes. What are we waiting for? Let's go find the Creature."
It was night. The boy and the tiger walked cautiously through the hallways, guided by the beam from Hobbes' flashlight.
"This quite possibly the worst place we could've run away to," Hobbes groaned. "Next time we run from home like this, let's hide in a haunted house. I imagine it would be safer."
"Shut up," Calvin snorted. "I'm getting sick of your whining."
"Good. Now you know how I feel at dinnertime."
Calvin was about to reply, but a startled rat skittered across the floor, making them jump.
"One of Sherman's cousins?" Hobbes pondered.
"Let's find a safe place to sleep," Calvin suggested. "We can look for our things tomorrow."
The beam of light revealed a door. Beyond it was a large room with a high ceiling and tall windows on two sides. Light from the streetlamps outside filtered through the grimy glass.
"Must be the old gym," said Calvin.
At the far end of the room, a basketball hoop still hung from a wooden backboard.
"Andy should've stayed," Calvin commented.
"Yeah, but the hamster should've left."
Calvin looked around and saw a dust covered basket ball on the floor. There were also some other sports equipment lying around. It gave him an idea.
"Let's play Calvinball!" he said.
Calvin pulled out a pair of masks and gave one to Hobbes. He picked up the basketball.
"We can use this instead of a volley ball. The baseball bats over there can be used as mallets and the tin cans can be used for moving wickets! Those old napkins can be used for flags! Let's play ball!"
Calvin and Hobbes got on opposite sides of the gym.
The Calvinball was on the dividing line.
"NOW!" Calvin shouted.
They charged for it. Hobbes grabbed it first. Calvin ignored him and dove between his legs and ran through an area that had light in it.
"I have entered the Enlighten Patch!" he shouted. "You now must surrender the Calvinball to me and hop on one foot for one minute."
"Curses!" Hobbes groaned. He tossed the Calvinball to Calvin and hopped on one foot. However, he moved forward towards a blue square. "Ah ha! The Blue Square of Joinky Elbows!"
"What does that do?"
"It means you must now flap your elbows up and down and cluck like a chicken!"
Calvin slapped his forehead and flapped his elbows and clucked. "Buc-buc-buCAW!"
Calvin had dropped the Calvinball, giving Hobbes the chance to swoop in and grab it. He dribbled toward the hoop. On the run, he flipped the ball off the backboard and through the basket!
"He shoots! He scores!" Hobbes roared. "That earns me twelve points, plus two bonus points for doing it with one hand."
"Darn it!" Calvin groaned. But a grin slipped over his lips. He dove forward and caught the bouncing ball. "I have the Calvinball again! I get to pummel you with it for twenty points!"
"But I am standing in the Perimeter of Immunity!" Hobbes said. "I am now covered by an invisible force field. Any throws that are at me shall bounce off and hit you. We don't want to risk another nosebleed, do we?"
Calvin stomped his foot. He dropped the ball and grabbed a bat.
"I have the force field penetrating mallet!" he declared. "Prepare to meet your maker, and a surgeon!" He ran forward, waving the bat like a crazy guy.
Hobbes turned on his heel and grabbed another bat. He swung it at Calvin.
"I have a sword!" he yelled. "Any time it comes in contact with a human, it proves most lethal! Surrender!"
Calvin sneered and picked up a rock, whacking it through a tin can. "I made a shot! The score is now Ally to O'Malley!"
"Which is higher?"
"Ally and that level of points are mine!"
"Then prepare to eat your Ally!"
Hobbes bounced the ball again. He tossed it up and butted it with his head. The ball banked off a bleacher, clanged against the rim of the hoop, rocketed downward, ricocheted off Calvin's face, looped high into the air and dropped through the goal.
"Hoo!" he shouted. "That makes the score Rally to Ally. Rally is higher and mine!"
Calvin rubbed his head in response. "This must be how our ancestors played Calvinball." He picked himself up off the floor. "Someday, I'll slam dunk you."
Hobbes snorted and resumed. He hit the basketball with the bat, smashing a tin can.
"Heh!" Calvin said. "Good thing we ran away. Do you know what I'd be doing right now? Homework, taking a bath, something like that!"
"Oh, come on. Home isn't that bad!" Calvin told him. "We've got a bed to sleep in, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Trash that you get sick from, a girl to annoy, a club to work in and socks to flush down the toilet."
"I still stand by what I said before: Dad's socks looked like toilet paper."
"Okay, so it's not the hamster home university, but at least our monsters stay under the bed. They don't come out." He pointed with the flashlight. "Like that one, for instance."
Calvin's eyes followed the beam and gasped. Hobbes' eyes bulged.
There, in its subterranean glory, was the Teacher Creature! It was about six feet tall and dressed in ragged clothes and worn-out boots. Its scaly green hands ended in long, sharp claws. Its face barely looked human!
Calvin smiled nervously at the monster. "You know, not anyone could wear an outfit like that, but the mutant look really works for you."
The Creature came toward them, its feet scraping across the floor. The runaways were too frightened to move.
Suddenly, Calvin grabbed something scurrying across the floor. Pointing it at the monster, he shouted, "Freeze, Slimeface! I've got a rat here, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
The Creature grunted and halted.
"Let me go!" squealed the rat.
"No way," Calvin growled. "I've got more to live for than you do. The new issue of the Pickle Partners in Space comes out tomorrow at the comic book store."
"Hey, wait! That rat can talk!" Hobbes said.
Calvin looked the rat in face. It wasn't a rat at all! It was a hamster!
"SHERMAN!" they shouted.
"What are you doing here, Vermin?" Hobbes snarled. Sherman was possibly the last living thing he wanted to see right now.
"Sherman!" the hamster squeaked.
Calvin let the two of them fight it out. He grabbed the Calvinball and hurled it at the distracted monster. The monster let out a grunt.
"I declare it to be a tie!" Calvin shouted. "Run!"
He dropped the hamster, and the three of them took off in different directions.
Driven by fear, Calvin raced through the halls like a red and yellow meteorite. He ran in circles. He ran in squares. He ran up stairs and down. Finally, he stumbled into a room and collapsed on the floor, his heart pounding like an elephant skipping rope.
"I can hear the news report now," Calvin gasped. "Sweaty six year old genius mauled by monster. Film at eleven."
It was some time before he was able to sit up and look around. He observed his surroundings. It looked as though he wouldn't need the flashlight, and that didn't matter, because Hobbes had it anyway.
"It would appear I've located the basement," panted Calvin.
A huge old furnace squatted in the middle of the room, its pipes stretching far into the corners of the school like the arms of a giant spider.
"Odd," Calvin commented to himself. "Something smells a little familiar in here." He followed his nose, trying to be like Hobbes, to the furnace. Opening the steel door, he saw a worn, dented cooking pot with tuna fish stuck to the bottom. "What do you know? The Creature likes tuna fish. If he was bent on killing him, I'd bet he and Hobbes would get along just fine."
He thought for a while. Things just weren't making sense. Why would the Creature cook tuna fish? Hobbes can eat it raw, so why can't the Creature. And why did he need a pot? And how is the Creature smart enough to know how to work the furnace?
He then noticed the light that helped him see was coming from behind the furnace. He squeezed around the side of it. Behind it was a space crammed with all kinds of things: a pile of old clothes; cardboard boxes; candles that produced the light. Matches on a small wooden table; plastic plates and cups; dirty blankets on the floor. And…a werewolf in the corner!
Calvin jumped back as the candles seemed to intensify the creepiness of the face of the snarling monster.
"Don't eat me!" begged Calvin. "I'm loaded with Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! There's sugar in them! You fangs will fall out!"
Instead of pouncing the helpless child, the werewolf just stared in sinister silence. Calvin looked more closely.
It wasn't a real werewolf at all! It was a wax statue made to look like a pounding werewolf! Calvin looked at it touched, resulting in it tipping over.
"Things are just getting stranger and stranger," he sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow.
He peered around. The candlelight shone on the objects in the far corner.
"Our stuff!" said Calvin out loud.
Andy's backpack and the suitcases had been tossed carelessly aside.
Calvin tore open his suitcase and examined the contents. "Everything present and accounted for," he said, relieved. "And that reminds me—I'm starving. I'm sure Andy won't mind if I scavenge his backpack for food." He plunged a hand into the backpack, pulling out a candy bar that was slightly opened and nibbled on.
"I see Sherman likes candy bars," he said. He gobbled it down in one bite. Then he settled down amongst the stuff to grab a good night's sleep.