Well here I am. Only what, a week or something after my last update? And I am working on the final chapter of The Friendship Journal. I'm not even writing it by hand in my little green book first (like I did with all the other chapters). So I hope you enjoy, this is where everything comes together. Sorry Yugi fans, no entry from Yugi because I just can't get into his frame of mind. Anyway, let's duel!
Disclaimer: I rarely chuck these into my stories, but it's pretty obvious I don't own YuGiOh.
http/people.freenet.de/tiger.lady2/douji-mayonaka/MAYO19.jpg
THE FRIENDSHIP JOURNAL
Chapter 16: The Final Chapter
After having his strange, angry rant, Duke Devlin raised himself from his bed and headed out of his shop. Destination – Ryou's butt. And not for what you're thinking either.
On the way he passed a motorbike. True, he realized it wasn't Tristan's, but that didn't stop Duke attacking it viciously the only way he knew how – with teeth, nails and bitch slaps. The bike was relatively unharmed when he was done, apart from a few drops of blood.
…
No, not the motorbikes blood, Duke's blood. You try scratching a metal bike and see if you don't break a nail or ten.
And so, sore, angry and unattractive due to his broken nails, Duke continued on his way to Ryou's house. On the way, however, he literally ran into a small, tri-coloured-hair-ed someone. Yugi.
"Ouch!" he cried, when Duke stood on his foot.
"Oh, I'm sorry Yugi, I didn't see you there," Duke apologized. "You really should try to be more tall."
"…"
"You know what they say, small man, small – "
"Um, Duke, where are you going?" Yugi interrupted quickly. The last thing he needed was more of Duke's… lectures.
"I'm going to see Ryou, I have something he needs shoved up his arse," Duke explained. Yugi's eyes bugged out of his head – more so than usual, anyway. "No, not like that Yugi, I meant this stupid book." He held out the journal.
"This? But it's Ryou's friendship journal! He told me it should be just about full now, can I see?" Yugi grabbed it and flipped it open. There were only three spare pages – well two really, Bakura had drawn some phallic symbols on the last one.
"Yeah it's full," Duke agreed, looking at Bakura's drawings with interest.
"Well great! Duke, do me a favour?" Yugi asked. "Go to Ryou's house and tell him to come to the Game Shop, and bring Bakura. I'll call everyone else. Once we're all there, I'll read the journal aloud to everyone. It'll be like one big bonding session!"
"Um… okay…" Personally Duke thought the journal fumes had gone to Yugi's head (the journal really did smell funny) and made him crazy, but he went along with it and headed to Ryou's house, without the journal.
The Bakura HouseHold
Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock…
Someone was certainly enjoying pounding on Ryou's door. Said albino ran quickly to answer the door before Bakura got there and did to Duke what he did to the JoHo's three days earlier.
"Hallo Duke," he beamed, opening the door.
"Hello Ryou," Duke replied coolly. "I'm not here because I like you by the way."
Ryou blinked. "Er…"
"Good," Bakura interrupted, walking in. "You damn queer."
"BAKURA!" Ryou turned back to Duke. "So Duke, what did you want?"
"Yugi sent me to invite you guys over to his place because he's got the Friendship Journal and he wants to read it out to everyone."
Ryou squealed happily while Bakura gaped. "That piece of crap's still floating around, is it?"
"Bakura! It's not crap, it's wonderful! Now come on, we're going to go to Yugi's at once!"
"What-ever."
Despite Bakura's protests (not to mention the un-written fights Kaiba and Marik put up), everyone ended up in the Kame Game shop within the hour, except Joey. Yugi came in and got everyone seated – except Bakura and Marik, who were kept separate from everyone by their hikari's.
"Well I guess you all know why you're here!" Yugi chirped happily, climbing onto the coffee table so he could be at eye level with everyone, with some difficulty as he was in stilettos.
"Um, hikari?" Yami said carefully. "Stilettos?"
"Yes. Don't act so surprised Yami, it's not weird, I just wear them to be taller. And they accentuate my calf muscles." Bakura and Marik fell on each other laughing, while Yami raised an eyebrow. Yugi cleared his throat. "Anyway, I'm going to start reading now. The first entry was written by Bakura…"
This announcement was enough to shut Bakura up. Yugi began to read.
"Dear journal… No, that sounds stupid. I hate that line, "dear journal," I must erase it!…"
Five minutes later Bakura stood pouting while everyone else laughed at his fear of carrots, and the garbage disposal unit. "Shut up!" he snapped. "Keep reading!"
"Ahem…" Yugi said, and looked down. "Next is Yami…" He began to read. "Alright, so… this is Ryou's friendship journal…" He continued reading. Towards the end things started to get a little weird. "I don't feel comfortable reading this next line…"
"Read it!" Marik urged.
"Alright, um… Although it was something of a turn-on. Watching Bakura drag my father's mummified body through the streets of Ancient Egypt…"
Everyone turned as one being to look at Yami in horror, Bakura included. Yami however, was beaming hugely. "Well Bakura, now you know my secret. So…" He gave him a suggestive wink. Bakura dry retched.
"Yeah, nice Yami, but uh… oh!" He grabbed Ryou. "Me and Ryou are… ya know…" He turned Ryou to face him and kissed him passionately, right in front of them all. Then, figuring he should have some fun, he slid a hand up his hikari's shirt and stroked his chest.
Ryou slapped his hand away.
Yami hung his head in miserable defeat, and Yugi blushed. "Er, moving on…" He petted Yami's hair. "Next is… Joey. Where is he anyway? Oh well."
Joey's entry was duly read out and didn't cause much of a fuss, apart from Kaiba getting huffy and insisting he wasn't fat.
"Speaking of you Kaiba, your entry is next," Yugi smiled, flipping some pages. Just then, Joey walked in the door. "There you are Joey! What kept you?"
"Wardrobe problems," Joey muttered, taking off his coat to reveal the kinky purple leather Marik had cursed upon his supple frame. Said psychopath snorted back laughter. Bakura would have too, had he not still been kissing his hikari with fiery passion.
"I look like a bunch of anorexic grapes!" Joey whined.
"You look fine Joey, really," Duke assured him, touching his shoulder and shooting Tristan a smug look.
"I do?" Joey sniffled.
"You do," Duke insisted. "Yugi, keep reading."
"Alright. Next, Kaiba's entry…"
"Yeah, I came right in time!" Joey grinned.
"Ahem…" Yugi cleared his throat again. "This is shit. Signed, Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporations… Hi everyone, Mokuba here…!"
Five minutes later everyone was staring in horror at Seto Kaiba, gay CEO of Kaiba Corporations.
"MOKUBA!" Kaiba roared. "How could you write that about me!"
"It's okay Seto, you don't have to hide anymore," Mokuba assured him, petting his arm. "We all know you're gay now, you can let it out."
"Let it out! I'll let it out alright – let out a few choice facts! One, the sounds in the elevator was me and Bakura punching each other up! He'd been hiding the elevator all day scaring people! Two, I was in that gay bar for a business lunch apparently, until those men tried to rape me and I ran away! Three, the foot long was a sandwich from SubWay that someone was trying to force-feed me! Four, I had a lisp after I burnt my tongue on some coffee! And five, I was in the ballet academy to visit my secretary! I'm not gay, I'm sleeping with the secretary!"
Mokuba took his brother's hand and petted it. "Is your secretary a guy?"
"NO!"
Perhaps Kaiba was about to throttle his little brother just then, if Yami hadn't interrupted by running past and glomping Joey and Duke to the ground. "Get off Joey you bitch Duke, he's mine!"
"No one wants you Yami, you're too old!"
"You little whore!"
"Go gel your hair!"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!" Yami and Duke proceeded to bitch-fight, right there on top of Joey, who stared in horror as Yami clawed desperately at Duke's angry green eyes, and Duke tried to rip Yami's wavy blonde fringe out.
"Um…" Yugi glanced at the pair worriedly, then decided it was best just to press on. "Next is Marik's entry – "
"Mwahahahahahahahaha!" Right on cue Marik let out an evil cackle.
"And that's basically how it starts. Ahem," Yugi said. "Oh no matter how many times I write that it doesn't get old…"
Marik's entry was particularly short, so Yugi was almost finished in a few short minutes. "Mr Wheeler, from this day on the only clothing that will fit you is… purple leather. This happens – "
"You spiky blonde haired anal licking piece of crap!" Joey interrupted, throwing Yami and Duke off himself to he could attack Marik. He tackled him around the knees and they fell to the ground, Joey punching angrily.
"My hair, my hair!" Marik squealed. "Malik, help me!"
Malik ran over to help his yami, holding the hat he was wearing firmly onto to his head. But was stopped by Yugi. "Hey Malik, I think someone cursed the page you wrote on. Something's funny about it…"
Curious, Malik came over and had a look. Being the Egyptian expert that he was, he could spot a curse a mile away. And he had been cursed. He spoke the words of the curse to himself. "Make my hikari as bald as can be…"
Malik froze. Marik noticed and fell silent. Joey stopped punching him to see what was wrong. Even Bakura stopped ravishing his hikari to see what was up. The silence was so thick you could hear an ant sneeze.
Somewhere an ant did sneeze. And that bought Malik back down to earth. "MY HAIR!" He ripped his hat off to reveal he was bald underneath. "I HATE YOU MARIK!" Mimicking Joey, Malik leapt onto his yami and punched him as hard as he could, repeatedly.
"Err…" Yugi looked around. Ryou was being molested in one corner, Duke and Yami were duking it out in another, Kaiba was chasing his brother around with homicidal intent written all over his face, Marik was having chunks of hair ripped out by his hikari while Joey punched him in the stomach, and Tristan was on the couch looking depressed. "There's only two more entries to go.." Yugi said with fake cheeriness, and opened the journal again. "Here's yours, Tristan… Hey there, it's Tristan…"
Duke stopped biting Yami to listen to what his ex-boyfriend had written. When Yugi reached the "I hate saying 'I love you' to Duke" part he cried out in agony. "Woe is me!"
"Wait Duke, there's more," Yugi reassured him. He kept reading, a soppy look crossing his face until he read the final words. "I love Duke. From Tristan."
Duke's eyes filled with tears. "Awwww, TRISTAN!" He kicked Yami, who happily scuttled away to Joey. "Yes, run away you desperate man-whore. Tristan!" He held his arms open for Tristan to come running to him…
Duke's Fantasy…
I Think I Love You by Kaci plays in the background…
Tristan ran towards him across a field of daisies, arms open, smiling moronically. Right on top of a flower-covered hilltop they met, running into each other's arms and spinning around giddily, laughing with happiness. Together they fell to the ground, still hugging, daisies flying up into the air all around.
As the daisies settled, Duke and Tristan found themselves on a wooden pier at a river, hidden deep within a magical forest. Holding hands they ran along the wooden slats, their feet thumping in time with their heartbeats until they reached the end and leapt into the water together, sending a huge splash up onto the river bank.
As the water disperses, Tristan and Duke are sitting on a hilltop, watching the sunset in their wet clothing. Duke picks up a glass of champagne to take a sip, only to discover a diamond engagement ring floating in his alcohol. He pulled it out and shook it try, sparkling droplets of bubbly champagne flying through the air.
Once they fly past, Duke is lying in his bed. The moonlight filters through his open window, making everything glow silver. The lace curtains flutter in the breeze and as Duke opens his eyes, Tristan flies through the open window and circles above his bed before fluttering down to Duke, leaning in to give him a kiss…
Returning to the present, Duke found himself in Tristan's arms as Yugi finished reading out Duke's journal entry.
"Non-homosexual arse sideways. Goodbye," Yugi read, snapping the journal shut. "And that is that."
Ryou shot Duke a worried look, but seeing as Duke seemed well and truly preoccupied, he gladly returned to being sexually harassed. Yugi took all his friends in worriedly. Everywhere he looked someone was being murdered or molested. Possibly both.
"Yugi!" Marik cried out from underneath Malik, Joey and Yami. "I suggest we dispose of that heinous journal at once!"
"Hmm, that does seem the reasonable thing to do…" Yugi said. "What do you think, Ryou?"
"Oh get rid of it," Ryou shrugged. "After all, I've succeeded. Look how close everyone is now!" He gestured everyone in their tight-knit groups of two and three, brawling and making out. "Bakura, get your hands out of there."
Two Days Later…
Everyone was gathered together at the rubbish dump, standing in a group at the edge of a precipice of garbage, facing a steady drop down to a valley of landfill below.
Everyone had more or less recovered. Bakura and Ryou were set to go on a double with Duke and Tristan once they had disposed of the journal. Yami was happily leaving suggestive messages on Kaiba's answering machine. Kaiba had changed his phone number. Joey had taken up professional boxing. Marik couldn't eat solids for a month. He was also bald. And Malik had removed the curse himself and his hair had grown back rather quickly.
And now it was time.
"Gentlemen, we have gathered here today to bid farewell to a good friend of ours," Yugi began. "He may not have been real, but he was real to – oh, Marik!"
Marik had snatched the journal and hurled it into the valley of waste. "Oh shut up. Let's go home."
Everyone voiced their agreement and turned their backs on the journal, without sparing a second glance. But perhaps they should have. Because then they would have spotted the tall, red-swathed figure sorting through the rubbish, and whom stumbled across the journal.
"Croquet, look at this!" Pegasus cried, waving to his assistant. "I've found a book!"
THE END
Well there you have it. It's finished... IT'S FINISHED!
IT'S FINISHED IT'S FINISHED IT'S FINISHED IT'S FINISHED!
Oh I'm so happy! I love you all! Everyone who reviewed, I love you! Everyone who read it, please review if you didn't! THANKYOU ALL!