O guys I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while again, but my cat, Monty, died a week and a bit ago and I really haven't felt like writing since then.

Anyway I'm back again but with Exams and all I wont be able to update frequently for the next few days anyway but by next weekend I should have a couple more chapters for you.

O also I'm going away on the 28th and I wont be back till mid July, so again the updates will be fairly irregular.

Well, not with that out of the way...

Thanks to:

Keira Neightly the second: Yeah I guess I have a good few reviews, but you can never have to many! I'm talented? O thanks, I don't think so, but thanks. Em yeah I have three stories on this site and I write for Fiction Press too. I deleted my Harry potter one because it needs a bit of work, I just wasn't happy with the way the story was going so I am going to take a while to figure it out again then I will put it back up again for you all.

I get stuck on what to write a lot actually, but I just go of the computer for a while then give myself time to think then go ahead and write some more. I'm sorry it's taken a wee while to update- I am sorry but I couldn't help it!

Saz-646: Yeah it was very long wasn't it? Ideas came into my head while I was writing and I couldn't stop! You will see how it will be worse in the chapter, I wont give anything away. I'm glad you had a good time on holiday, I can't wait for mine. Thanks for explaining about the Lol thing I honestly didn't have a clue. Enjoy the new chapter!

aUtHiStIc: Yeah you probably have read it, I just changed a couple of the paragraphs, Sorry I didn't say anything, I forgot too when I posted it up again. Well here's part three and I hope you like it!

MeganSky: Wow, that is confusing! You practice Wicca? O same here, my dad is an heredity witch, my mum though is an catholic so I guess I'm pretty mixed to, not that I mind at all! I really don't, Catholics and wiccans aren't that much alike in beliefs but they do share some similarities. You play Guitar? Really? I play Piano, I have done since I was 7 or so, I love it. Yeah same here, I love watching films and reading. What's my favourite film? Hmmm... I guess... at the moment it would be troy; it's a great film. I saw pearl harbour a few weeks ago, it was so sad I thought.

Thanks for the review and enjoy the new chapter!

JadeMoon: Don't worry about it, I new it was you anyway! The most popular TV Shows I guess would be Angel, the Simpson's, Futurama, The Gilmore Girls, Eastenders and all the other soaps, eh, don't know really, those would be my favourites. The is others to on our cable newwork that I like to but I cant think of their names!

Singers... Well linken park, Evanescence, Britney spears (who personally I hate, Christina agulilera, Beyonce (is that how you spell her name? I'm a terrible speller) Usher, Kelly, Kelis, Ashanti (she's really good at the moment (and loads of others I could go on forever)

Do you like Football? I hate it, well I play it sometimes but I don't really like watching it, it gets a little boring sometimes, you know? I have heard of the super Bowl, have you been to one? Whats a triple crown? They threw pennies at the horse? God, talk about animal cruelty! That must have been awful. Horse racing is very popular over here; people go to the bookies and bet on the horses. My grandad does it I think but you have to be over eighteen so I'm a bit stuck there! I have never tried surfing myself but it's supposed to be fun, is it?

I wanted to ask, what age do you have to be to drink? Is it 21? It seems so old to me, over here you can when you are 18 and you can drive then too, at what age can you drive at?

Enjoy the new chapter!

Moira Deane: I like that name! Hehehe! I'm sorry again that it took so long to update, I wasn't really up to it.

Alexsis: Yeah I do three stories on this site, you can check them out if you want to, it would be great. I'm the best? Really? O thank you!

Booklover03: Thank you! Enjoy the new chapter!

Chapter twenty- five: Who am i? Part three.

People do what they do, not because they feel they must, but because in their heart they know what is right.

-Arthur Kindle, scholar, dated 1820-1830.

She is the cause of this, she is the cause. I feel nothing anymore. Not the wind in my hair, not warmth or satisfaction. It has been dampened, dampened to the point that I do not know myself anymore.

Maeve would laugh at me. Would pity my shrivled self as to what it had become, a shell; unable to feel. Would never believe I had sunk so deep. All I feel is hatred, so much hatred for my unknown daughter. I thought she understood, I thought she would see. She was too close-minded; she will never see what I have seen. Never feel the power I have felt, the exultation of it. I will never forgive her for what she done to me. My unknown daughter.

Never.

She is no daughter of mine.

-Neimhidh.

The garden was lined with flowers, all kinds of flowers that were only just beginning to bloom.

I had thought so much of my father until now, thought so much about what he would have been like if he had been a proper father. But he had never lived up to any of my expectations.

Not ever.

He had always done what was best for himself but because of who he was I had overlooked it, and so had Maeve it seemed.

My mother must have known what he was like, must have realised his charm, his nature, yet it had not stopped her loving him. And it had not stopped me from believing he could be a real father.

But there he sat, utterly immobile to the beauty around him, it seemed he had created a space around him. That neither air, presence or love could enter. It was almost as if he had shut himself away. Far away were no more harm could be done onto him.

I closed my eyes, feeling very frightened, unsure yet knowing I had to see him, that even now I owed it to him to explain.

I looked at him again and almost recoiled at the hatred in his eyes, the malice that in hi eyes he could only keep. His magic was gone, everything had been taken away from him, I realised.

He hadn't moved since I got here, I didn't even know if he could even sense another's presence- probably not, I thought sadly.

His magic was stripped, so was his soul. For everything that Ciaran was and for everything he had done, he could never be that person again.

And I had done it to him.

But it was for his own good to, he would have gone on, with having kill me, to cause more pain.

I wonder would I have done different, I mean in a way I had stopped ciaran from hurting me, and so had he. He had chosen his life over mine. Yet hadn't I done the same thing?

I had destroyed my father, left him with nothing. Not even memories of what he was, or had been. Only thoughts, images as to what formally, the leader of Amyranth had been.

I gulped and looked to him again. He hadn't moved yet. He was still sitting were he was, in a hunched position, sort of crouched in on himself.

His eyes were closed and he looked terrible, it was something I hadn't noticed when I first looked at him.

His hair once so rich and full was now thinning, almost white in colour. He was rocking now, mumbling to himself oddly.

"O no, o no" he whispered almost in pain, recoiling in on himself more, he shook his head vigorously and I moved towards him slowly.

"Father" I said reaching my hand out to touch him, but he screamed suddenly, his anguished shouts filling he garden, and I froze, unable to move my hand away.

He screeched and fell on to the ground.

"Get away dog Witch, betrayer of me! Get away! Get away from me. Don't come near, you don't come near.!" His hands gripped his hair and tugged at it, causing strands to come loose.

His body shook with suppressed sobs and he cried, he cried from loss, from pain and horror.

I reached out to him again and he fell into my arms, weeping with everything he had left in him. It frightened me to see him this way. What had happened to him.

The ciaran I new had always been in control, had always known what to do, he had always known the answer. My own father was the complete opposite of him, they were so different and yet at one point they both loved me.

Though for Ciaran a slightly different agenda to his love for me.

He had always been calm, rational, a trait I lacked. He was everything I would have given to be, everything that would lake a daughter proud if he had not been from the dark side.

His hate, his malice, greed and hunger for power had corrupted him into someone I had feared and respected.

But as he cried in my arms I wondered if Ciaran was always as he seemed or was it just now, with his magic had been stripped from him that he was this way. Or had it been there since the beginning? His normal, loving father side, a side that I had never seen in him till now. But he had still been my father and I love him for what he was, not what he could have been.

He shook again and appeared to fall into himself weeping in loss and I too began to cry, for both of us. For us both, had lost something we thought we couldn't be without.

Fear causes people to do the unimaginable. It is fear that drives us. Fear that fuels us and in the end we are all who we are, made by fear of what he have come to know.

-Arthur Kindle, Scolar, dated 1800- to early scripture in the 1900's were it was last written.

( A/N: I Love this guy, I found his book while we were cleaning out the library and fell in love with it all over again. My gran had given it to me and I love it)

Ciaran kept his eyes to the floor, not moving again, I sat beside him looking at what I could of him- or what was left.

"Why" the words were so soft I could hardly hear them but as I did my heart ached.

I looked into the shadows near the lake for a moment feeling how they cloud everything.

I frowned, "I had to- I didn't have a choice" I said and he looked at me sharply and for a moment I saw him- I saw my father.

"We all have choices Morgan- but for some of us... choice is the hardest part to start with" he said and he sounded almost normal, like a father who is giving advice to his daughter on her first date. The colour seemed to drain from his face then and I could see that he had lost his personality- it had seeped out through his eyes "No, No you must leave- go now, don't look at me"

He looked away from me and shielded me from his gaze- he couldn't look at me. He moved away and shook again, I thought he was mad.

And maybe he was.

He grabbed me and shook me "you" his eyes seemed to bulge as if seeing something only he could see "you are her, you are her, she did this to me, she did it, she did. I was her father, hers and she did it to me. How could she, how could she" he wrapped his arms around himself and sobbed.

I looked on, knowing I had lost him forever. That I would never know him as he was, not ever.

I broke down then and I cried for him, for all the people I had hurt and who he had caused pain to. But I cried for me too, I cried for his loss and my own. He was who he was and so was I.

I loved him but I could never be a daughter to him.

His daughter had done this to him.

Pain is felt through those we love, and when they suffer, we do too, we suffer for what he have done, for what they have done and what we know will come to pass because of it.

-Arthur Kindle, Scholar, dated early 1815.

Authors note:

A very emotional chapter I think but I loved writing it because I love that sort of thing. It's cool to write. Anyway again I am so sorry for the long wait, I hopefully will get another one up soon for you but I am going away in two weeks so.... I wont be updating then. But alas guys it is summer! So I will be writing loads more then and I have some stories I want to post up for you all to see.

One I will do is Morgan's married life to Colm but I have to think about it and how I am going to write it- it's not very action packed! If you have any ideas email me or review- both are good!

Goodbye for now guys.