A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait. I really am. I'm only back from Spain about 3 hours and I just wanted to get this up. But never fear I'll be updating a lot more frequently now. Yay!

My reviewers- Thank you!:

Forever sunshine: Thank you, I really miss Monty, he was 6 years old and I will really miss him. Gives big hug in thanks Thanks for what you said and enjoy the new chapter!

Cameo667: I'm sitting here reading what you just wrote and I fell like crying. Thank you! Aw that was so sweet wipes tear away

Insert huge sniffle here. Yeah I trued to stay away from the original theme that cate herself writes by since I wouldn't get confused, I used her characters and her written view of what happened to them but not the themes, I love cate to much to just go on with what I think she would write so I leave it up to her if she would like to writer another book to fill us all in wink wink I'm as good as cate? Wow... ... That's all I can say- thank you! I love writing emotional stories- I'm a right drama queen I can tell you and I'm glad it's not over the top- though you might think this chapter is- god! Thanks!

JadeMoon: Hello! good to hear from you again. I loved Angel especially when it first came out. I can't tell you I was addicted to buffy for that main reason- didn't watch it after that though. smiles devilishly Hehehehehe!

Anyway... ... now that I've done that.... Yeah it ended, I was so sad though I don't think that it ended very well, in truth I was very disappointed with the last series, it just didn't feel like angel anymore. Did you watch it at all? Futurama is still going here, though they're re- runs. But I still love bender! Eastenders is like a soap opera. Em... like Corination Street? Emerdale? It's set in England. Have you not heard of it? Kelis is from the UK yeah, Ashanti has been gone for a while but she was popular when she came over on tour, I went to see here in Dublin about... 2 years ago? I can remember really, she was good though not brilliant. What is the difference between soccer and American football? I know you can touch the ball in American football but that's about the size of it. Yeah I like to play Soccer but u have to be in the mood, you know? I tried surfing once, needless to say it was a disaster- enough said. You should give it a go if you can it's a lot of fun if you can stay upright! Enjoy the new chapter"

Witchyliz: O hello a new name, I'm so glad you like the story. I'm actually laughing at being called a wanker- I like your honesty! I didn't put the baby into the chapters so much because I knew she was going to loose it therefore I didn't want it to be a really big deal to the readers when she lost it. I'm sorry about erm... ... chapter 5, yes they were in a restaurant; I got confused and wrote the wrong thing- sorry!

Samantha: O you can drive at 16? I always wondered why the hell Morgan could drive. Thank you for the review!

aUtHiStIc: No I don't have a hotmail account, Good idea though I should get one! Enjoy the new chapter!

Darke-MacEwan-witch: I hope to the goddess I spelt that right! I am going to do another story completely different from this story, don't worry it's still about 4 years till lovable Hunter dies- I wouldn't do that to you! I am going to do another story with Morgan married to Colm but it has nothing to do with this one I was just letting you know.

Saz-646: Yeah I would like to write about what happened to her after Hunter died- I have that planned out already! Lets just say... ... it won't be pretty. Thank you so much for the ideas. I'm back actually from holidays, I was in Spain. Salou, it's near Barcelona. Enjoy the new chapter!

Alexsis: I am so sorry for the long wait, but it's hear now. Enjoy it and review again!

A/N: O guys just to let you know a lot of what happens in this chapter will be about Ciaran and it's kind of emotional so- just to warn you!

Chapter twenty-six: My father.

For a person to face their deepest fears is in itself their greatest fear. And in order to face this they must be able to face the unknown.

-Arthur Kindle, scholar, dated early 1800's

I don't remember leaving the hospital. I don't remember much of what happened. What I do remember is the look on my fathers face as they took him away. He had shouted my name, pleaded with the sanity he had left to plead for.

This was not the way I had remembered him. Ciaran was strong, charming, in control no mater what the situation. But that Ciaran was gone. It seemed to me that he had lost the will to live. But what did he have to live for? Why would he want to? He had no magick, no purpose, and no goals. His coven was a disaster without him; I had heard that no one had come up to take over its leadership. That in itself would have angered Ciaran, knowing he could never be what he once was. Knowing he had lost everything he had once taken for granted.

And he had taken it for granted. His power and his greed had consumed him until he could not be anyone's father, let alone mine. My life apparently had not been good enough for him. Neither in life nor death would he forgive me now.
"Morgan?" Colm asked tentively, he was sitting on a nearby bench. "I'm sorry," he said his eyes shining with pity and I sank to the grass with no forewarning, I just collapsed unable to stand up any longer.

I felt movement and knew Colm had sat down next to me "What have I done?" I whispered almost numb. I could still see my fathers face, his words of hatred and pain for what it had come to between us.

What have I done? I have destroyed my father? O goddess what have I done?

Colm put his arm around me and I started to sob, my whole body shook and I almost was sick with it. With everything. With all that I new would stay with me forever.

"You did what you had to, you hadn't any choice," he said and I looked up at him. Choice. What would I know about choice when I always seemed to make the wrong ones? My choices always ended up in someone that I loved getting hurt.

Choice was the one thing in my life that had caused me the pain that I had injured. I had made choices that at the time I had thought was for the better, because there was no other way around it. Because it was what I had to do. The one parent I had left I had destroyed. I think death would have been better for Ciaran. For he had no cause to live for now. And what it said about me, his daughter?

That I am no better than he was and that I could never be anything else but what I was now.

And that I myself didn't know.

The ride back to Colms parents house was quiet and I was grateful to Colm since I really didn't feel like talking.

It didn't stop him from glancing sideways though. I had the feeling he wanted to say something but then thought better of it and closed his mouth again.

The sun seemed to fill the sky and I took a deep breath trying to calm down. I sighed.

"Thanks Colm- for coming. I'm so glad you were there. I don't think I could have gone in at all if you hadn't of been there. And I probably wouldn't have made it far when I came out" I said and he smiled slightly still keeping his eyes on the road ahead of him. He glanced at me slightly and smiled again.

"It was hard?" he asked in was of a huge understatement. I felt the urge to laugh, goddess knows why.

"It was horrible- but- I'm glad I did it. I needed to" I went on "I felt... I don't know I felt that I owed it to him. You know, to explain why. I don't think it made much difference to him though, He still hates me," I said closing my eyes.

"He doesn't hate you," he said softly and my eyes snapped open, unwilling to myself I had heard that I stared.

"No matter what you think he thinks of you, or for what he himself thinks about you he doesn't Morgan. No matter what a daughter does to her father know this Morgan they could never hate them. He is your father and before it's to late he will remember that. I know he will. Ciaran was and will always be a menace to himself. I think he hates himself more than he hates you"

I shook my head "I don't understand"

"Ciaran has done a lot he isn't proud of. I know everyone says he is evil but can we be so sure? I mean he can't have always been that way. He loved your mother and you can't be evil if you are capable of feelings like that. What he did makes him cold, a murderer, yes but after everything he is still your father. You're the one thing he did right. And probably that is what he regrets most. That he acted the way he did towards you" he looked over at me again.

"I know it hurts to have your father say those things to you. But I don't think it's all you think it is. Maybe he does feel sorry for what he did, not just to the people he killed and hurt. But to you too. I mean above all else he hurt you too- and your mother -and you and your mum were the only good things in his life. Maybe you were his reason deep down, you and your mother and now he knows you have given up on him You think you betrayed him -When you really did what any loving daughter would do for her father. You gave him another chance to feel. And that is why he hurts now. His pain makes him confused and he doesn't know what he is anymore- if he ever did." His words swam around my head and I struggled to make sense of it.

I sighed "Maybe that's true. When did you get so good at this?" I asked

He shook his head, obviously bemused "Get so good at what?"

"At reading people?" he shrugged and pulled into the driveway. He cut the engine.

"Don't know really. He's a lot like you. I know you don't want to hear it- but he is" he went on when he watched me flinch at the thought.

"I don't think I can forgive him for what he did. Not just to me, but for all he did to the people he hurt, the people he killed. I mean he did so many horrible things I just don't know what to think. I know he's my father but he has a completely different side to him. A dark, horrible side that I know I have to. It 's in my too- to be like him. To do the things he does and in his eyes that was what would have made me his daughter and now look what I did- I through I back in his face" I said

"I don't know why, I don't think anyone can but I know this that no mater what both of you feel you still love each other and I know that despite everything he did, he wished you could have been his daughter- and maeve's too I guess" he said watching me

"How could he have killed her? How could he watch her die? His Muirn Beatha Dans?" It was so weird to be taking about Ciaran like this. It was as though he was dead. Though maybe in his eyes he was.

I sat back against the warm leather of he car "It's unthinkable. I guess he just wanted her so much he couldn't bear to see her with anyone else. He killed her because he couldn't let her go. Wouldn't have killed himself though- that was how selfish he was. How volatile and greedy" I said closing my eyes again, near tears.

I heard Colm sigh "A day will come Morgan when you will be glad you did what you did- and he will to" he opened the door to the car then and I sat there for what must have been over an hour... ... thinking.

In order for someone to understand why they do the things they do, the must first understand themselves. Not why they do it but what has led them to do it. What has made them they way they are. Not why, never why. But saying that is a lot easier than understanding that.

Arthur Kindle, scholar, dated late 1850's ( He died that year, I think he was only 70 years old)

Authors note:

Wow, now that was long I can tell you. Worth the wait? I hope so. Please review!