Disclaimers: Same as before

My notes: Big changes to come. I am not sure if the mood is right. I wanted something tramatic to happen amoungst all this playful romance. Donna's a little cranky during this chapter. Told from Josh and Donna's POV.

I would like to thank everyone who has been leaving feedback. It is the highlight of my day to check my e-mail and find your feedback. It is WAY better then all that spam and penis enlargement e-mails I always get. :-) Thank you again. Big events are on the way, just hold tight.

Then Everything Changed

Chapter 20

It has come to the attention of our co-workers that we are in a ridiculously good mood in the mornings, and far too eager to get to bed at night. While we have tried our very best to keep it private, I don't grab her ass during meetings or anything, I think others have figured out what is going on. Will doesn't seem as flirty with her and Helen keeps looking at me funny. But all of those things I can ignore, because tonight I am going to make love to Donna Moss. She said next time. Tonight is next time. I am getting some wine and roses and Godiva she loves that stuff. Tonight, just a few hours…

"Ladies and Gentleman we need to start traveling more at night."

What? Did the world just collapse in on itself?

"We are going to travel by bus for the next few nights; we need to start covering more ground in the Midwest." Ronna announced. I grab Matt when I get a second.

"Um. Congressmen can I talk to you."

"What is it Josh?"

"I know we need to cover more ground but do you think it is wise to start traveling at night?"

"It wasn't my call. It's Donna and the letters." I feel sick, vomit fills my throat, swallowing it back down makes it tastes even better. "Secret Service needs us moving more. Sorry. I know you too are a couple now, but it is her safety."

Two days of bus tours, speeches, make-out session in various locations all leave me frustrated and grumpy. Sleeping on buses, wow, talk about comfort. To recline from a 90 degree angle to a 95 degree angle. Welcome to Comfortville, population: Me.

It's 1:37 am and Josh's head is killing my shoulder. He's been out cold for the past 20 minutes, honestly neither one of us have slept. I keep fading between that sleep and conscious state, where weird images pop into your mind but you can still control them. Currently I have a cat wearing a tux doing the Cha-Cha with a hamster. This is when the bus comes to a grinding halt. Josh wakes up from his nap, even crankier then before he started.

"What the hell is going on?"

"The bus stopped."

"Why?"

"It stopped moving."

"I can see that."

Josh, Will, and Matt get up and start to look at the engine of the bus. Well, that's not true; first it takes them ten minutes to figure out the latch. True these men are very smart, however none of them know a single thing about cars, it is a power struggle to prove who the bigger man is. I should also note the bus driver, Carl has already called Triple A.

"I suppose you know you took a class in bus repair at Harvard?" I sigh as I start to walk down the street.

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to the Holiday Inn a mile down the road. I am sleeping in a bed tonight and I am when I wake up I will be less bitchy, any one who likes wants in can follow me. I'll get rooms for everyone, if I can." Jackson warns me he doesn't like this one bit. I tell him in not the nicest of terms to deal with it.

Matt and Josh are carrying the kids, I am forced to lug my luggage and Josh's too. After a lengthily debate with the hotel receptionist, I mange to get ten rooms for the staff. By 2:56 my head is resting on a pillow and Josh's arm is resting around my waist.

"Hey Donna, you wanna…"

"Not a chance in hell."

Honestly it is best I felt in days, comfortable, home. My mind returns to the cat and hamster dance and finally Morpheus enters my head.

3:48 the door begins to quake and the Secret Service comes crashing into the room.

"Ms. Moss! Mr. Lyman, you have to get up now." Jackson's arms rip me from the bed. Steven the second agent grabs Josh.

They rush us down the hall into a room, where the Santos clan, Will, Bram and Ronna are waiting. Will looks like he is sleeping on his feet. Josh is shaken by the rude awakening but doesn't question it. That's the difference between people who worked in the West Wing and people who don't: crisis becomes a normal part of your day, and you don't become phased by it.

This is a crash. The campaign has never had one, but it was nearly a daily event at the White House. A crash is a crash, nothing to panic about. Ronna, Bram and the others are just going to have to get used to it. The Santos children are still sleeping. I could make a snide comment about them sleeping through a crash, but I am too tired to even think about it.

We congregate into groups, girls verse boys. No one mentions the fact that Josh and I came in together, but at 4:00 am in the morning I don't think they care.

"What's going on?" Ronna's voice quivers.

"It's a crash. It's nothing."

"What triggers a crash?"

"A security breech," I answer as causally as I can. I keep my eye on Jackson, he is trying to keep cool, but there is a terror in his eyes that is hard to hide.

Helen starts to giggle as she glances around the room. I start as well when I realize why she laughing.

"What's so funny?" Josh asks in his sleepiest voice. God I love that voice.

With a blend of exhaustion, fear and social awkwardness, Helen blurts out "Will has ducks on his boxers."

"Seriously Will, I think you really need to talk to someone about this bizarre infatuation you have with the mallard." I laugh, trying to break any tension in the room. None of us would feel nearly as vulnerable if we weren't in our standing in an empty room in our underwear.

"You talk a lot of smack, for someone wearing the world's shortest shorts!" Will barks back.

"It's my underwear, your fool." My Victoria's Secret boycut panties with matching cami, but he doesn't need to know all that.

"Oh God!" Matt cries and starts to stare at his feet, years of marriage have trained him well.

"Women's underwear comes like that now?" Will's voice squeaks.

"Been a while, Will?" Josh smirks, coming slightly more awake.

"You should talk, Lyman." Now its mine turns to smirk. It's really very sad when my sex life is considered to be the activity one. Will eyes feel like they are piercing though my lack of clothing.

"JACKSON!" Josh bellows and I suddenly I am whacked in the head with Jackson's blazer. Both of them have a slightly over protective nature.

Jackson talks into his ear piece. "The package is on the move."

"Hey, Jackson, what's going on?" Santos' asks head still down. Will starts walking over to the window.

"Hey the police are here."

"Mr. Bailey get away from the window. NOW!"

I saw it before I heard it. T

he flash of light, then flames, the ear piecing sound came later, seconds later. I saw the flash and felt the heat.

There was no logical way I could feel the heat, the explosion was nearly 500 feet away through glass at the far end of the parking lot. It wasn't that heat I felt, it was the heat from the SVU nearly a year ago.

Josh heard it first, he would. He didn't hear the explosion, but a symphony.

To be clear, it wasn't a large fire, or explosion. There wasn't a mushroom cloud or anything like that. But if an unsuspecting someone opened the box, that unsuspecting person would be dead.

No one speaks. Everyone lost in their own thoughts. Silence fills the air as the fire puts itself out.

Josh falls to his knees, shaking.

Matt was the first to speak, "Who? What?" It wasn't a very coherent sentence.

Jackson has the answers and the burden to relay them.

"Donna got another letter."

"But the bus broke down, how did they know where to send the letter?" Will's voice quivered.

Jackson doesn't answer the question, just looks towards were the fire once was. "There was a package address to her as well. No one saw who left it or knows when it was dropped off."

Someone really wants me dead.

But I am so nice.

I am really nice.

Josh.

Will

Helen

Matt

Josh

They are in danger. I should leave. I should run. But I can't seem to move.

I don't know or when I fell to the floor. I don't know who is rubbing my shoulder, it isn't Josh or Will, neither of them have moved from their spot.

Ha, we are supposed to be prepared for this stuff, this should even faze us. In a crisis we are the ones the others turn to. Now we are all useless.

Useless.

We are the most powerful people in the country.

People live and die on our ideas, words, and suggestions.

Tonight, we are ineffectual.

Once when I was a kid my father took me hunting. I wasn't a girly girl but I hated every minute of this outing. It was cold and rainy, I was hungry and my legs hurt. But all those inconvenience were nothing compared to the feeling I had in my stomach. The ache of … well it's hard to explain. It felt like we are superior to whatever animal we were hunting, deer, I think. It didn't seem right, we had guns and they had whatever nature and evolution had blessed them with. We knew we were out for them, they didn't know it. They were just going along in the day, eating grass, sniffing stuff, sleeping and then my father shot them.

Tonight, I was the deer.

I don't know how long we were standing there. Eventually, we get the all clear and were able to go back to the rooms.

Josh doesn't even touch me the entire way. He walks into the room, either saying a word or looking up.

Jackson keeps me in the hallway for a second. "Ms. Moss it is my job to keep you safe. I will not let this guy hurt you." I thank him and return his jacket.

The room is dark Josh is sitting on the bed, his elbows on his legs, his head resting in his hands. He's rocking slowly back and forth.

"Josh?"

Silence. I don't know if he hears me or the symphony ringing in his head.

"Josh." I repeat, slowly making my way towards him.

Currently I am numb, devoid of all emotions, just going through the motions. I'll deal with all of this later, alone. He doesn't need my burden as well. He's drowning in his own emotions for now. I am watching them consume him.

"Joshua." I repeat one last time bending before him, resting my weight on the balls of my feet and his knees.

For the first time he looks at me since the incident. I can't possibly imagine what horrors are lurking in his head: Fire Joanie's death. Explosion Rosslyn Bomb Gaza.

Nearly every terror for him wrapped conveniently in one motion.

"Everything's fine." These are the words of inspiration I choose, everything is not fine.

"Donna, it was so close."

"I know." He looks at me curiously.

"I can't lose you."

"I won't let you." I smile at him, and gently kiss him.

"Someone's trying to hurt you." He sounds so desperate and petrified.

'That is the reason I have Jackson and three other agents." Logic first, he responds well to it, then emotions. "I have you too. You will protect me, it the whole reason you started sleeping with me."

A faint smile crosses his lips, "Nah, I just wanted to cop a feel in the middle of the night."

Mischievously I answer back, "I know." He is reassured, if only in a minimum way. Funny how something so playful, coy could change so quickly.

We embrace, hot lips meet, tongues dance. Frustration, fear, melt away leaving only passion. Our bodies warm each other, kissing any stops to move to other parts of the body, neck, ears, and breasts. Everything feels perfect; he runs his fingers through my hair and moans my name. I must have blinked or been preoccupied with all the touching and the kissing I failed to notice we are both currently naked.

"Donnatella, I lo." My lips cut him off. One other man has told me he loved me. He lied. He also would only tell me while he was screwing me. In my heart I know Josh is nothing like Kevin but my brain just won't let him say the words. I have waited so long to hear them, I don't want them tainted by sex.

"Don't say it.." His eyes are filled with a pain I seen before, he's wanted to say this to me, and I am forcing him to wait.

"I am not making love to you until I say it."

"Don't tell me now. Wait find a better moment. The perfect moment. I've waited years to hear it, to say it back to you. I can wait a little longer."

"But." He fingers continue to start at my scalp and work down to the tips, and end stroking my face. Have I mentioned how much I love his hands?

"Joshua, I know how you feel and for now, this moment, it is enough." I hope my words make sense; I can only pray he understands.

"Donnatella, I know too."

These are the words we speak before we make love for the first time. I am not one for details, but you know how the first times are awkward and clumsy? This wasn't. We knew each other, how to move with other motions, how to make the other feel the pleasure longer. Josh Lyman is the best lover ever. Since the dawn of time till the end of time, he will retain his title.