At the new white gate
Wife: Oh Ted! the party's starting at the new white gate:
A birthday party of special magnificence
Where gifts, dance, music, games, food and drink await:
Promising bounties of Bilbo's munificence!
Ted: A birthday party of special magnificence?
An old cracked fool-but his parties' familiar,
Promising bounties of Bilbo's munificence.
Well he's very rich, and very peculiar.
Wife: A kind cracked fool-, and his parties' familiar!
Forgive him his oddities and his good fortune
(Though he's very rich, and very peculiar),
At least while the food and the dancing run on.
Ted: "Forgive him his oddities and his good fortune!"
But Bag End's a queer place, and it's folks are queerer
I'll go while the food and the dancing run on,
But Baggins are trouble; no nothing is clearer!
Wife: Yes Bag End's a queer place, and its folks are queerer
But they say that it's tunnels are all lined with jools:
The Baggins are wealthy and nothing is clearer!
We've seventeen children need feeding, you fool.
Ted: And what if it's tunnels are all lined with jools?
My da's got a mill and a mill's no mere mathom.
When seventeen children need feeding what jools
Beat taters and cabbages I cannot fathom.
Wife: Forget your da's mill! For a party's no mathom
When gifts, dance, music, games, food and drink await:
Who'd want taters and cabbages I cannot fathom-
Oh Ted! the party's starting at the new white gate.
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Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction, and the characters, settings, places and languages, save those that are original to me, belong to the Tolkien Estate. I am merely playing in their most august sandbox.