It's only when he's lying in bed that he finally lets himself think back over the past few months. He's tried to block everything out, just move on. Except he hasn't.
He can see it all now, all the little things he missed. She missed Summer's pony class for her appointment. When he hugged her and it hurt that was the biopsy. When she was stressed and withdrawn she was worrying – more about him than herself. And when he'd cooked her dinner, sent Izzy out with the kids, and she'd tried to tell him something… that was it.
How could he have been so stupid?
So now he's lying in bed – by himself – and he's missing her. That first night without her had been so bad. Almost like it was after Claire. He'd gotten used to her being there on the other side of the bed, and then she wasn't. He hadn't wanted to go to bed but exhaustion forced him to believe that she would come back in the morning so what was one night?
But she hadn't. And now he knows why.
And he wants her back. If she'll come back.
He had started to believe that she didn't love him, now he wasn't so sure.
And then he realises what she'd said.
"You have to believe that I don't love you anymore."
Not, "I don't love you anymore."
He had to believe in what she told him because that way it would help. And right now, with one hand on her side of the bed, he knows what he believes in most.
Her.