AN:

EVERYONE thank you so much for your reviews. Only one chpt left. You have given me courage to post some other fics now - thank you :)

and yes, she's waking up soon:) thanks for the patience!

smithknk - the fact that you are reading Jane Eyre because of my humble fanfic is really the best compliment ever. Seriously. i have yet to read a novel that makes me feel romance is really true in the way Jane Eyre does. but i could go on and on... i'm obsessed (obviously). You will enjoy it, I promise. E-mail me when you are done and let me know how you liked it!

staz-I really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my fic! I feel honored, really. i know how stressful exams can be and how little time there is to relaxing. good luck on those or if you already took them, hope you did well :)

now onto the story!...

PART XII

§§§

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

Emma

§§§

I left my suitcase at an inn near where I had been dropped off, intending to send a servant from Thornfield to pick it up later that evening, and decided to walk the two miles to Thornfield Mansion on foot. I had a lot to think about.

Would the party be gone? I hoped so. I was looking forward to a little time by myself. Well, not completely by myself. Just without the others . . . especially Renee Ingram. Just like I could not deny my love for Mr. Rabb, I could not deny my envy for her. My thoughts were still centered around her as I hurried my steps upon nearing Thornfield Mansion. I did not notice the figure sitting on a bench until I had passed him and he stood up. I jumped, startled out of my thoughts, and his warm hand steadied me.

I wished he could steady my heart as well, but I thought I should first concentrate on breathing again.

"Glad to see you are back . . . but where is your luggage?"

"It's at the inn. I thought it would do me some good to walk and it was too heavy to carry."

"It's a far walk, you should have called me. I would have sent someone."

I merely smiled, unsure of what to say.

"How is your aunt?"

"She passed away."

"I am sorry."

I heard it in his voice. The caring, compassionate tone. 'Don't look in his eyes.' Too late. I was loosing myself in them when he voice called me back to earth.

"You look tired. Why don't you join me for a late dinner?"

I agreed and we headed towards Thornfield Mansion.

§§§

After dinner I said I should unpack my bags, which Mr. Rabb had kindly sent someone to pick up for me. I hurriedly did so, anxious to head out to the stables and visit Misty. Two things drew me back to Thornfield Mansion. Mostly Harm, but I also enjoyed Misty a great deal.

I had cross-tied Misty in the aisle and had begun grooming her when I heard a soft voice in a nearby stall. I was startled, since I thought the stable was empty. I soon relaxed, however, once I realized it was Mr. Rabb tending to his Westphalian stallion, Samson.

A part of me wished I had waited a little longer to visit Misty and another part of me was excited about the prospect of having a conversation with Harm, the name I had begun referring to more often than Mr. Rabb.

He exited the stall and was about to leave the stable when he saw me.

"I should have known you would be here." He smiled.

I smiled back, willing my knees to remain standing and my stomach not to flutter. "I missed Misty."

"Just Misty?"

'And you.' "And Thornfield Mansion. I like it here."

He rubbed his chin before patting Misty's smooth coat. "I am going to get married, hopefully."

I will remember that day for the rest of my life. With one sentence my bleeding heart was wounded even further and my soul began crying the tears I physically couldn't When I dropped the currycomb from my hand, I jumped back in surprise, thinking it had been my heart that had made the clanking sound at my feet.

I forced myself to remain calm and maintain a cool façade. "She will be happy, sir."

"Sir? Please say you meant Harm." He laughed.

'I keep forgetting that.' I only refer to him as Harm in my dreams and thoughts. Or try to. Getting too personal will make the goodbye even harder.

"But yes, I hope she will be happy." He said, serious now.

"Are you si…Harm?" I turned to look him in the eye to see his reaction.

"Yes . . . very. I've never been so in love in my life." His eyes sparkled and for a moment I wished I could be the object of this love. But so much for dreaming. Dreams are a wonderful, amazing thing. They are what I live off sometimes. I know that sounds crazy . . . but it's true. They can also be cruel, though. When you wake up and look at the life around you . . . there's no feeling like the oppressing one you get after waking up from a dream.

"She is beautiful. I really can't think of many words to describe her except amazing. She makes my words jumble together." He smiled and I tried to smile back, but failed miserably.

"What is wrong?" The concern in his eyes made the tears lingering on the dam nearly spill. I couldn't answer that, even with a lie such as "nothing" so I decided to change the subject.

"Have you asked her yet?"

"No." He shook his head. "But I love her so much I won't rest until she says yes."

Those words brought forth a tear and he placed a gentle hand on my cheek, turning me towards him.

"Sarah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing . . . I think I got something on my contact." What? That was a lame excuse. His thoughts are not the only ones jumbled together.

"Sarah, you don't wear contacts." His voice was so sweet and gentle . . . I could feel my heart being torn into a million pieces, piercing my chest like tiny shards of glass. The tears spilled over my cheeks and he tried to brush them away.

"I guess I will advertise then? I'm sure someone needs a secretary." 'I can't stay here while Miss Ingram moves in, it would kill me.' My heart finished for me.

"Oh Sarah, don't you see?" He lifted my chin and forced me to look in his eyes. "It's you I want. It's you I love. It's you I want to marry."

Hmm…maybe dreams really aren't so bad. The feeling you get when you wake up can kill you, but the feeling you get when you dream can save you.

However, as he placed his lips on mine in a soft, gentle kiss, I knew I wasn't dreaming. This was real. He pulled away and smiled into my eyes. "Will you, Sarah? Will you be my wife?"

"Yes, Harm. Yes, I will be your wife." And I cried again, but this time with tears of happiness.

§§§

Harm woke when he felt a soft pressure against his hand. He stared into Mac's face. He felt her squeeze his hand. He wasn't dreaming. "Come on Mac, come on."

A nurse stepped into the room, preparing to check Mac's IV, when she noticed the patient seemed to be waking.

"She squeezed my hand." He whispered softly, as if speaking too loud would cause her to never wake up.

"That's a good sign. But don't expect too much too soon. These things take time." The nurse checked Mac's IV bag before leaving the room. She passed the Admiral on her way out.

"Harm." He said softly. When Harm didn't answer he raised his voice. "Harm."

Harm turned around to find his superior officer standing in the room. "Sir, she squeezed my hand."

"That's great news." AJ smiled. "And need I remind you that here it's AJ. Harm, you need to go home. You look like hell, no offense given."

"None taken, sir." Harm smiled. "But I can't leave now."

"Harm, look at yourself. You're about to drop dead on your feet. Please don't make me make this an order." AJ pleaded. 'Please don't make me do that . . . because I'd let you by with a DDO and I don't want a rumor being spread I'm too soft on my officers.'

"Sir –"

"Harm, I'll stay here while you get some rest. I know these words won't have any effect on you, but I'll say them anyway. You won't do her any good putting yourself in one of these beds next to her."

Harm wanted to argue further, but he was too exhausted, both physically and mentally. He placed a kiss on Mac's forehead before standing up to exit the room. He stopped at the door and turned around.

"Harm, go home. I'll call you if there's any change." AJ cajoled.

Harm nodded and walked out of what seemed like his temporary home.

§§§

The sun sparkled down through the trees like iridescent snow and Mac smiled as she walked down the aisle. This was her purpose . . . to come to Thornfield Mansion and fall in love and marry the man of her dreams. Why couldn't everybody be as happy as she was right now? Why couldn't everybody have their heart snatched away and never ask for it back? Because deep down inside, she knew some little girl, or young woman, or middle aged lady, was waiting . . . waiting for a man to take her heart, and only dreaming of him every night. She reached her future husband and smiled as he took her hand.

Harm sat reading more of the novel, Jane Eyre, to her, and was nearly finished with the book when he felt a pressure on his hand. It was a squeeze, just like before, but this time it was stronger. He looked up to see Mac's eyes fluttering. Before her dark brown eyes opened, a smile graced her lips. He wondered what she was dreaming about.

Mac opened her eyes slowly, as if weights were attached to them.

"Mac." Harm's voice was raw with emotion. He couldn't help the tear that meandered down his cheek.

Mac smiled and reaching up a weak hand wiped it away. "No more tears."

"That's what beauty does to me." He quoted from a movie he knew she loved.

Mac smiled at that.

"What were you dreaming about?"

"Huh?"

Harm grinned at her confused face. "You looked like you were dreaming."

"Oh . . ." Suddenly it all came flashing back to Mac and she smiled softly. "I was." Her eyelids began to droop.

"Sarah, no wait . . . I have something to tell you."

Her eyelids fluttered back open.

"I waited to long to do this and then I . . . I thought I'd never get the chance. I don't want to waste another second. Sarah . . . Sarah Mackenzie, I love you."

Exhaustion was seeping in, but she woke completely at that. Then suddenly her dream world and reality came combined in one eerie second. Suddenly the loneliness she had felt her entire life lifted. "I love you, too, Harm. I always have." Then, with a smile, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

Harm smiled, too, and suddenly the stress from the past few days floated away. He rested his head on the bed and draped his arm across her slender waist. For twenty some years he had wandered this world looking for his purpose. Now he had found it.