The T.V. show Hogan's Heroes belongs to CBS and was a Bing Crosby Productions. No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred, and no infringement is intended.

The Home Of The Brave

By M Breedlove

Chapter Two

Later that morning—

His swagger stick tucked tightly under his arm, Klink stormed up to his busy prisoners, demanding answers. "Colonel Hogan, what are you and your men doing rummaging through the wood pile? I didn't give you permission to remove any wood for your barracks!"

Hogan flinched. Turning with a smile to face his captor, he called out, "Hi, Kommandant!" Hogan's smile turned into a frown as he met the scowl on Klink's face.

"I asked what you are doing here!" Klink persisted.

Hogan began his defense, "I'm just following your orders!"

'My orders?" Klink looked on with what was becoming his normal, aghast, expression, where Colonel Hogan, was concerned.

"Yeah, your orders!" Hogan paused to wait for Klink's memory to kick in. "How quickly we forget!" Hogan chastised. "You're the one who said to keep my men happy!"

As Klink watched, the prisoners began scrutinizing pieces of wood. "I didn't say anything about keeping them happy." Tearing his questioning eyes off of the prisoners, Klink looked back at Hogan, who had taken a step closer.

"Yes, you did! I remember your threat very clearly," Hogan countered.

Shortening the distance by another step, Klink refreshed Hogan's memory. "What I said was, you would suffer the consequences if your men attempted an escape."

Now face to face, Hogan agreed, "Exactly! And since I have no desire to be confined to barracks…"

"I was thinking more along the lines of the cooler!" Klink interrupted, while looking back at the prisoners, who were now sitting down to begin work on the wood they had selected.

"The cooler?"Hogan folded his arms across his chest and rocked back on his heels. "Fine! That's even more the reason for me to keep them busy."

Klink stepped away from Hogan and toward the prisoners, with their newly undertaken projects. "I didn't say you could…" It suddenly dawned on Klink that they had knives and were beginning to carve on the wood. "Where did these men get… Schultz!" Klink looked accusingly at his Sergeant of the guard. "…where did these men get knives?"

"Herr Kommandant, I thought you…that is… Colonel Hogan said…" Schultz looked pleadingly at Hogan, while stuttering for an answer.

"We borrowed them from the mess hall," Hogan answered. "We'll put them back. We're just making wind chimes." Hogan said, as a matter of fact.

"Wind chimes?" Klink and Schultz chorused.

"Yeah, you know what they say, 'music is good for the soul'. And since our Tommy Dorsey records are getting worn out," Hogan shrugged, "I thought…"

"Wind chimes out of wood?" Klink asked, again shortening the distance between himself and Hogan. He looked closely at his Senior POW, seriously trying to decide if Hogan had finally snapped. "You need metal for that!"

"No, that's where you're wrong, Kommandant. The Chinese do it all the time. Of course they use bamboo, but the principle is the same. We'll just have to hollow them out some, and cut them into various lengths to make them—melodious," Hogan answered, while trying to maintain a facade of innocence.

"Yes…well…" Klink stammered as his gaze went back to the tools being used"But…knives…"

"You said it was my responsibility to keep my men's minds off of home, and escaping…and since you wouldn't let us celebrate Independence Day, I had to think of something else that everyone could do. Besides, what are we going to do with a couple of paring knives, against armed guards with machine guns?"

"Well…" Klink sighed. It did seem ridiculous to think that prisoners armed with two vegetable knives could defeat an entire camp of armed soldiers. Looking back at Hogan, he granted, "All right, Hogan, but next time-- ask me first!"

Hogan unfolded his arms and, tilting his head, offered his guiltless assent, "Sure, Kommandant, if that's the way you want it. But the last time I tried asking you for something, I didn't get very far, did I? I can't be held responsible if you don't give me the authority to act!"

Klink stiffened, and now practically nose to nose with Hogan, demanded, "Yes, Hogan, that's the way I want it. And I'll hold you responsible anytime I want! I'm still running this camp."

Schultz smirked and snorted, as he attempted to swallow the laughter twinkling in his eyes. He quickly recovered when Klink, momentarily, pierced him with a disciplinary glare.

Satisfied that Schultz was once again in control of his mirth, Klink continued, "Your acts of authority have been known to boomerang!" Klink paused before pointedly continuing, "Which reminds me, General Burkhalter will be here in the morning and I don't want any of your shenanigans."

Hogan ignored the request. "Oh yeah, what does he want?"

"It's nothing that concerns you, just routine camp business," Klink answered, dismissively. "I want you and your men on your best behavior. Is that clear?"

"We're always on our best behavior, Kommandant!" Hogan straightened indignantly.

Schultz's eyes bugged as he commented, "If this is your best behavior, I'd hate to see your worst!"

"Schultz!" Klink shouted in exasperation.

Schultz straightened, and mutely stared at Klink.

"When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it!"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!"

"Now, keep a close eye on these men. And I want every one of those knives accounted for before the prisoners leave here!"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!"

Hogan turned his back on Klink and shot Schultz a quick wink.

Schultz moaned as Klink marched away.

"Blimey, this is getting better and better, gov'nor!" Newkirk commented, stepping next to Hogan.

Newkirk's remark was not missed by Schultz. "Pleeease, Colonel Hogan, be good!"

"Schuuultz," Hogan said soothingly. "Have I ever let you down?"

Schultz's nose twitched nervously.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv