Eh heh, sorry for the long wait…(angry reviewer mob)
I just hit a huge writers' block and uh, got sidetracked…(Mob: GET HER!)
Disclaimer: If I did own Yu-Gi-Oh, I'd probably make it a bit more romantic…(angry lawyers: GET HER!) O.O;;; Which is why I don't.
Just as a forewarning, I have no clue where the 'Pretty Pretty Princess Pony' idea came from…As most of the ideas for this chapter just came to me as I wrote (Maybe I shouldn't admit that...XD)
Oh, yes, thank you theresa, drgn princess, sodapop1kitten, Sakurelle, Dreamistress Jade, Bradybunch4529, The Broken Bow, The Incredible Emo Kid, Pharaoh's Crystals, JewelValentine, xchimera, XXR.I.P.XX, Miss Setsuki, LightAngelSara DarkAngelSage, Chris-Ann Belmont, xXRoseGoddess874Xx, firerosegodes, Nashida, and hakubaikou-chan for reviewing so far! (I'll personally respond next chapter)
Plz enjoy!
Chapter 3: Occupational Hazards
On the corner of Sakura Lane, nestled between a quaint coffee shop, an antique shop, and the odd tattoo parlor ('MOM' 20 percent off!), stood a peach little house, built in a Western style (you know, pointed thatched roof with a Southern porch). On its cute, miniature lawn, a sign read: Studio 7, under which read, Dance Classes for the Youth.
Everything was so, so cute. Ugh.
God, it was all so achingly cute here you half-expected a Pretty Pretty Princess Pony to show up…Oh, God there WAS one…Shield your eyes, nooooo!
Tea tucked her Pretty Pretty Princess Pony (limited edition) in her gym bag. It was a gift from her mother (Mom: YOU KEEP IT WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES OR ELSE), who still held this ridiculous concept that she was two and loved Barbies (okay, Ken wasn't so bad looking, but still!), for her New York scholarship. For a moment she thought she heard wails to shield her eyes, but shaking her head at the weird thought, she turned to the matter at hand. Teaching six year olds how to do ballet.
She should've brought the 46-caliber gun Joey had given her (much more useful than the Pony)…just in case, you know.
Tea would never use it, silly! She would simply show those little buggers that she meant business…Shooting off a finger didn't count as murder, right? Who uses those pinkies anyways…
"MISS TEAAAAA!" squealed one particular six-year old, whom Tea had secretly nicknamed the Spawn of Satan. "IT'S TIME TO START CLA-ASSSS!"
Tea winced at the high pitch. "Just a minute, Tina," Studio 7 was home to the only dance studio in Domino. 'No surprise there,' Tea thought ruefully as she felt Tina persistently tug her black leotard. She still heard horror stories about previous dance teachers who had all had mysterious 'accidents' or left Domino, screaming about the horrors of Pretty Pretty Princess Ponies. Still, Tea had disregarded the gossip when she took the job; she loved kids and was incredibly patient (see tutoring Joey for grammar): how bad could adorable, little kids be?
"Miss Tea-"
"…," Now where was her purse…
"MISS TEA!" bellowed the small little girl.
"What?" yelled Tea as she responded in six steps: yelling, jumping in the air, hitting the bar pole, whimpering at her new boo boo, ashamed at whimpering at her new boo boo, and clutching her heart in surprise at the bizarre process she had gone through in less than five seconds.
"Oh," said a thoughtful Tina to a K.O.'d Tea. "I forgot."
TT Where was that gun?"Sensei, why are you looking at my pinky?"
"Oh, nothing, dear,"
Ignoring Tina for her sanity's sake, she grabbed her purse, looking for the lesson plan she had scribbled for the day on the back of her grocery list (hey, she was new; she didn't have a fancy schmancy equipment!). Reaching inside the outer pocket, she smiled as she found the paper.
But wait- something was missing!
"Sensei, I remembered!"
OMG.
The picture. Of her and Yami. The one that was never meant for eyes other than her. Tea started sweating nervously. 'Just think logically…' her sanity reasoned. 'Where was the last place you saw it?'
I looked at it right before I went up to meet Yami-
"OH, F-!" Miss Tea then said a very bad word in her surprised horror that would've had all of her friends scandalized at goody-two-shoes Tea. (Joey still gasped whenever she said 'damn')
If the four-letter mystery is lost on you naive little souls, I'll give you a hint- it rhymed with duck.
"He has it!" Tea voiced her thoughts aloud as she blushed furiously.
"Who has what, sensei?" Tina asked curiously, hearing everything. "And what is f-?" Tea clamped her hand over Tina's mouth as her nosy fellow ballerinas looked at the odd scene.
Crud.
Saying the F word was definitely going to get her fired.
So she proceeded to the step which had saved a Pharaoh from confessing to using hairgel, a CEO from dying of embarrassment regarding a young chestnut-haired lady, and an American leader from impeachment: Denial.
"Uh, you must've misheard Tina, sweetheart," Tea said nervously, blinking a lot. "I said duck!"
"Nuh-uh, you said it with an 'F'," Tina said stubbornly.
Double crud. Why, oh why, couldn't she have a bunch of gullible morons for students?
Tea groaned. She was so screwed. Time for plan B: tell the truth.
"Listen, Tina, dear, I have to tell you something," Tea said, putting an arm around the little, evil Spawn of Satan. "That word is a very secret word dating back to ancient err ballerina times. I mean so secret that only the two of us can know of it…NO ONE ELSE. Is that clear, dear…" Sensing mutinous intentions, Tea continued in a sing-song voice, making an offer no six-year old girl could refuse, "I'll give you my Pretty Pretty Princess Pony…Hm?"
Okay, so she stretched the truth just a wee bit. A white lie couldn't harm anyone, could it?
Some like her friend, fashionista Mai Valentine would describe this question as cutely naïve…others (cough)Kaiba(cough) would be rather blunter: "Stupid cheerleader."
"Ohhhhh…I get it." Tina said and if Tea had been paying closer attention she would've seen the Spawn of Satan (SoS) acquire a mischievous glimmer in her innocent blue eyes. But as has been shown, Tea was a bit new in the children department.
"Everyone, start practicing your positions," Tea said as she started out with the simple first position. She patiently corrected a few of her pupils and moved into the next position with a bright smile. Miss Tea was so caught up in her teaching that she didn't hear the door chime.
"Um, Sensei, could I have some help with second position?" asked the adorable, blonde Cynthia, who although tried the hardest, was having the most problems. Tea gladly helped as she resisted the urge to 'awww'. She didn't hear the noise as the richest Mother of her pupils, Tina's mother (surprise, surprise), arrived.
"Snookums, you forgot your snack," said the tall, slender woman, who looked more like a Supermodel than a mother, as she held up a mini cooler that looked big enough to feed a hungry army for days. Tea was about to greet the mother when Cynthia called her once more.
Perhaps if she had been able to reach the mother she might've prevented the catastrophe.
But…probably not.
"Have you learned anything today?" asked Tina's mother to her pink tutu-clad daughter.
"Yes, Mommy,"
…There was a long expectant pause.
"Well, what was it?" said the exasperated mother.
"I can't tell you. Sensei said it was a secret."
"Now, Snookums," Tina's mother said, annoyed and slightly jealous. "Anything you can tell Sensei, you can tell me. You can't keep anything from your Mommy,"
"Um, okay, if it's allowed…" Tina said, noting her mother's flashing, hungry eyes. "She taught me a secret word from ancient ballerina times,"
By the time Tea headed towards the mother and daughter, it was much too late for poor little Tea.
"And what was that word, snookums dear?" asked the curious mother, expecting a big fancy French word, and feeling envy grip her heart at the thought.
Tea's eyes widened as she realized what the little demon was planning, and she launched herself in the air, prepared to tackle the girl.
All of these actions occurred just a second too late.
"F#$K!" joyously said the proud six-year-old.
Crap.
As Tea hit the wooden floor (missing the target…dammit), she inwardly groaned as she heard a maternal roar of indignation.
"You know Sensei," whispered a sugary voice belonging to none other than the SoS, "Pretty Pretty Princess Ponies are so last season,"
That little mother-Idiot.
He should've known.
Dr. Love was mentally berating himself for making such a stupid mistake. Seto Kaiba was easily the most recognizable figure in Domino, making the 50 Sexiest Bachelor list for the fifth year (Hmph…not that he kept up with that or anything), being an astounding height, and the most successful CEO in Japan.
They were even planning on making a movie on his life…if they could ever imitate that maniacal laugh that oozed evilness. Which Yami was having the fortune to hear.
"Hmph, stop laughing Kaiba," he said irritated.
"Mwuhahaha-" Kaiba stopped to replace his villain cackle with a condescending smirk. "Your utter stupidity amuses me, porcupine boy…or should I say Sexiest Bachelor #48"
Yami's eye twitched at the memory. The only people he had beaten were a millionaire Playboy, and- he still winced as he recalled Bachelor #49-
A DOG. That was Bachelor #49. A Chihuahua dog named Tinker, who was just 'oh-so-kawaii that you could just die!'. Sometimes he wondered why he didn't just go back to heaven.
Because you nitwit, you were kicked out, they don't have any Coca-Cola up there, and plus, you have some unfinished business involving-Damn the little voices in your head. They could get really opinionated.
"Hey, at least I beat a Playboy millionaire," said Yami both to a smirking Kaiba and his sore ego.
"Who was once formerly a woman,"
Damn them all.
"AHEM, back to the matter at hand, Kaiba," growled Dr. Love, trying to ignore the sniggers of Sexiest Bachelor #1 that year, Seto Kaiba. "What do you know about this girl?"
And that shut Kaiba up.
Literally.
"Hellooo," Yami said, waving a hand in front of Kaiba's face, "I was asking you a question…(sigh) Let me make this easier then: What are the girl's interests?"
"Hn," Kaiba grunted. Yami sighed, hating the contract and above all, hating Kaiba.
"Where does the girl work?"
"Pastry shop and other odd jobs," Seto Kaiba said shortly. They were getting somewhere!
"Which pastry shop?"
"Hn," That somewhere was nowhere. By now, Yami had translated 'Hn' to mean 'I don't know but I'm too macho to admit that!' or 'I don't know because your all-powerful manliness is making me speechless with envy, oh Great, Yami-sama!'
Yami liked the latter.
"Now, Kaiba-boy," Kaiba looked ready to quietly murder Yami at the mention of that twisted man's pet name for him. "Do you even like her, Seto?" Dr. Love asked Kaiba with crimson eyes, contemplating the man. He actually looked like a noble Pharaoh once more!
There was a long, thoughtful pause. "…No,"
"THEN WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH HER?" yelled Yami, losing his Pharaoh-ness, as he childishly pulled on his lustrous golden bangs, wondering why-oh-why was he stuck with this stoic jerk, and how the hell did he become #1 Sexiest Bachelor?
Kaiba acquired a very sexy smirk as he looked down upon the smaller man. "Because she's different," he said simply in his irresistible, husky voice. Two young teenage girls literally fainted at the sound while an irritated Yami (why did no girl faint over HIM?) pretended that they had had a heat stroke.
Heat stroke? Sureeeee...
"Shut up!" Dr. Love said to himself.
Then the great Seto delicately raised an eyebrow at a fuming Dr. Love, "Stop being so loud and nosy," he said as he calmly dropped the laptop on to Yami's head from a 7 foot height. Ow.
Thump.
"Dammit, Kaiba, that hurts! It's my JOB to be nosy!" Yami cried out in frustration as he massaged his sore head (he had a boo boo!) while Kaiba took the laptop back with an amused leer, "Do you even know her name?" Dr. Love asked crossly.
Was it just him or did Kaiba's eyes soften for a nanosecond? "Of course, you screechy twit. It's Serenity," he said quietly, before flashing his piercing azure eyes upon Yami, "And don't curse at me, porcupine boy," He meant it as a threat with the laptop looming overhead, but Yami wasn't paying attention.
Dr. Love paled; not Serenity. He dearly hoped it was not that Serenity.
"Please, don't tell me you mean Serenity Wheeler,"
"Of course, I meant the mutt's sister,"
Yami then said a very bad word.
"Wash your mouth," Kaiba said coldly, as he deftly swatted Yami's head with the heavy laptop case once more, "We're in public,"
"Kaiba, I don't think you understand the problem," Dr. Love said seriously as he got down to business, "There have only been two times when I have had to enact Article 8 of our contract if the relationship is 'deemed impossible or inappropriate'…One of them involved Serenity with Tristan and Duke. I knew they were 'incompatible': they didn't share the same interests (K: I know what that means, moron!) and that it was going to be one-sided, so I didn't help them," Yami said hurriedly, remembering the real reason he hadn't set Duke and Tristan, who were prepared to pay huge amounts of money, or even himself (Serenity wasn't a bad-looking girl!).
One word. Joey.
Flashback
"I know where you live, Yami..."Joey whispered dangerously, once he heard the news of his new potential clients, "And I know how to use a gun,"
Gulp.
-Next Day-
"Heh heh, I'm sorry guys, I can't help," Yami said as he pointed out Article 8.
Both young men looked at each other and showered Yami with tons of money.
"On second thought-"Bam! He felt a warning shot near his shoe.
"No can do, boys! Gotta run! (bam!) Don't hurt me, please! Your sister is NOT hot, so there!" Yami lied, running. Once he got out of the supposed shooting range, he whispered to himself as he saw a chesnut-haired, lithe woman jog by, "She is pretty hot though in those running shorts,"
BAM! That time it hit the shoe.
Yami glanced at his shoe, ruefully, 'That was a good shoe too…' "We-ell, to put it simply Joey is overprotective of his little sister, especially when it comes to guys," Yami, said making the biggest understatement of the year, only rivaled by Janet Jackson's situation being labeled as a mere 'wardrobe malfunction'.
"So?" said Kaiba, unperturbed. "I can happily meet any little obstacles the mutt might put up,"
Yeah, I want to hear that when Joey starts shooting at your shoe.
Yami sighed at Kaiba's I'm-going-to-hit-you-with-my-laptop-repeatedly-unless-you-give-full-compliance expression; Seto Kaiba was one stubborn a- "Fine, you want her that bad, I'm all for it," he said before muttering, "Don't come crying to me if he starts shooting at you," He gave Kaiba the address, and suddenly switched to drill sergeant mode as he realized that he was in control…NOT Kaiba. Tee hee. Time to have fun!
"Okay, boy! Since the brother factor is not allowing open investigation, we must infiltrate the home base incognito despite said factor to find out more about the kitten." Yami paused, "You know how to dodge a bullet, boy?"
"First of all, do not call me boy (Pegasus…shudder), second, lose the lame accent, and third, how does dodging bullets pertain to the-"
"Good, good." Yami answered, interrupting, not listening to Kaiba at all, "I expect you at the home base in 0900 hours when brother factor meets his girlfriend while we foray the kitten's base while she's occupied at work-"
"Who is the kitten?" asked Kaiba suddenly, although he already knew the answer. He just wanted to tick Dr. Love off. And he succeeded.
"Serenity, duh." Yami said in his normal, deep sexy voice. (Did anyone faint? Noooo…)
"As in a sex kitten?" Seto, who Dr. Love personally thought was devoid of hormones, asked quite lightly as if inquiring about a new television set. At the word 'sex', Dr. Love choked on air, feeling his heart give out for a second.
Call the press! Extra, Extra! Kaiba just said the word 'sex'!"Um, well, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing," Yami sputtered, uncomfortable. He had thought that Serenity had looked like a sexy kitten with her alluring hazel-green eyes, but that was before he nearly got his toe blasted off. 'SHE IS NOT HOT!' Yami thought loudly, while glancing nervously around at his surroundings. No Joey. Phew.
"No, this won't do at all," Kaiba said, oblivious (or probably secretly joyous) of Yami's reddening face, "Sex kitten just doesn't suit Serenity. A squirrel will be her code name,"
"A squirrel?" asked a confused Dr. Love, while he confirmed the fact that Kaiba did not, in fact, possess hormones. What's sexy about a squirrel? "Why, a squirrel?"
Kaiba's amused smirk grew wider as he leaned down, "Oh, I'm sorry you can't hear from up hear, shorty." He said, not sorry at all, "I guess you could say it's an inside joke," he continued once more in his husky voice, remembering the incident that had started all of this. (Another girl swooned at the sound…hmph)
Then Kaiba remembered one important detail, "Since, I'm assuming that Wheeler and the Wheelerette do not know of your cute little 'infiltration', of which, the real term is called trespassing," Kaiba commented softly before continuing vehemently, "And trespassing, might I remind you, is illegal, you idiotic buffoon!"
"Answer this, Kaiba…" Dr. Love said, seeming to ignore the question, "I know we're not exactly close so why'd you come to me instead of using your technology to get to Serenity?" Dr. Love said quietly, his garnet red eyes unreadable.
"That is completely irrelevant-!"
"Answer that, and you'll see why I help out clueless people like you at my own risk," Yami said and then as an afterthought, "And don't you dare say Mokuba made you,"
Kaiba couldn't respond to the question; he was lost in thought for the answer he'd been wondering all day. Why did he come? Besides Mokuba's irresistible puppy-dog eyes.
He thought of her small smile as her eyes gave off an innocent sparkle of their own. So different from the rabid fangirls, who treated him like a priceless thoroughbred gone up for auction (a strand of his hair had gone up for $1,500 recently)
And then he knew.
No, no technology could ever figure her out. She wasn't a program. She wasn't a rabid fangirl (Thank GOD). She was a woman.
And to solve a woman he knew he needed, well, a woman…Or, as Kaiba smirked, the closest thing to one. All of these thoughts culminated to Kaiba saying with a demonic smile, "Because you're girly."
WHA-?
How did that answer the-
He was NOT-
Yes, you are, you preen in the mirror for hours before a date and-"Suck it, you," Yami howled, in what regrettably was, a high-pitched, feminine voice. This just really wasn't his day…
"See you at nine, you girly man," Kaiba said eerily cheerily (that rhymes! Yay.), as he waved goodbye to the confused man who didn't know how to react to that comment other than sputter, real mature, "Well, you have a huge ass!"
"Oh, really," Kaiba said huskily,"Is that supposed to be an insult?" He winked to a crowd of ladies walking by the park and all of them fainted in one 'OMG! Butt is so perfect…' second. Already pulling out his cell phone for his next office meeting, he waved curtly once more and-
DID KAIBA JUST SLAP HIS ASS AND WINK AT HIM?
Oh, Ra…Yami was dizzy at the scarring image. He could practically feel that man smirking amusedly at him while he cackled in his limo!
Yami walked quickly out of the park, muttering about how he wasn't paid enough for this job, as a pair of beautiful ladies approached. Hmph…perfect ass his ass! If Kaiba could get hordes of girls to faint…then so could he…with ease.
I'd watch what you say, Mr.-High-and-Mighty…Yami growled at his conscience and then as the ladies were nearly upon him, he gave them both a flirtatious wink with his sexiest smirk as he even bent to 'tie his shoe laces' so they get a good glimpse of his heiny. Beat that, Money-bags…
One of the girls fainted dead away at the sight.
Yes! His hotness prevailed!
"OMG, somebody please help!" the hot friend said, "I think she's having a heat stroke,"
Damn the world to hell.
Err…do you like? Sorry, I couldn't fit the Operation Infiltrate-the-Squirrel, but it'll be next chapter, I swear!
I really hope I didn't make the characters too OOC…Kaiba cackling? Joey trigger-happy? Yami a fool…nonetheless a hot one? Tea thinking scandalous thoughts? Is this okay?
Yami: Maybe you should stop asking questions and let them decide…
Me: Suck it, you!
Yami: What does that even mean?
Me: I don't know exactly…but it's bad, I tell you!
Yami: -.-U Just help me find Tea when you get your sanity back, 'kay?
And that was totally pointless and irrelevant…but I couldn't resist!
Please review! It doesn't have to be long (although I love reading long ones)!
Starlet36 :D