Disclaimer: You know.
Author's note: It might be a few days before I update again, I have fallen behind in writing, but I think I will leave you satisfied for a while. Fun Monty Python References in the lines below. Something happens and I don't want to ruin it so reread the author's note after you finish the chapter. Donna is cranky and her reaction isn't what anyone would expect, but I think it is realistic. I didn't want some cheesy slow motion, wind blowing through character's hair moment, it just didn't fit the story or the character.
Josh's POV and Donna's POV.
"Do you still work for us?" Matt foolishly speaks
"Well that is entirely up for negotiation." Her fiery eyes stares all of us down. 24 hours of rage and frustration has been unleashed. Stupid stupid DNC guy.
"What do you want?" Leo asks.
"Shrubbery." Ok now I am doing Knight that say Ni in my head. Jackson and some new guy I don't know start to chuckle, smirks cross Toby and Will's face too.
"I am doing the witch trial scene in my head." Jackson laughs.
"I am doing the fight with the black knight." Smirks Toby.
"What the hell are you people talking about?" Leo snaps.
"She wants a house. Its Donnaspeak for she wants a house." I shed some light on the subject.
"Oh I can do that," Leo waves his hand as if batting a fly. "I've got a guy I'll give him a call."
"Do you want anything else?" Matt inquires. She stares at us blankly, clearly she didn't expect to get this far. Toby cough and hold up both of his hands.
"Ten?" She questions.
"Well I don't think I can give you ten, unless I take 2.5 out of some offending parties salaries."
Toby coughs again, nodding his head.
"Sure?" She questions.
"I guess I could get you one percent off the back end as well."
"Ok?" Still no clue.
"And I fancy new job title, I can't have Vinick stealing you away from us can I?" Matt smiles and glances at me. I know where this is going and its cool with me. "How does Campaign Manger sound?"
"Oh, ok?" She smiles. I don't think any of this even registered. "Sir, this thing is going to spin one of five ways. Good for you, Bad for you, good for me, bad for me, but the one that is most likely going to help you win is to spin it neutral, entirely issued based. What you wanted in the beginning, is now what we hold on to. How does that sound?"
"Perfect." He glows.
"Seriously Donna, I have never been more attracted to you."
"Thanks Toby, that is not at all creepy."
"I just wish we were wearing pants." Mutters Leo.
Donna calls to Ronna who magically appears with bags with our names on them. "You guys should thank Will for providing you with pants." Donna smirks. Will looks a little confused, but doesn't speak. He hasn't for a while. "If you aren't boxer men, you are now." Ronna distributes the bags. "You guys should go back to your rooms now, but I am going to ask you to do something for me in a little while." One by one my friends and Toby leave.
She stands in the doorway, my Donna, she looks pristine and slightly less pissed off.
"What just happened there?"
"Where?"
"With the congressmen what did I negotiate?"
"An extra ten thousand dollars to your pay check for the yearand one percent of any left over money we have after the election."
"SERIOUS?" Her smile widens. I am forced to mirror that smile. I have never seen her more radiant or stunning. Its like I am looking at a new creature, a new Donna. I wonder if this new Donna still has room for me in her exciting new life. "Does this mean you aren't campaign manager? Because I really didn't want to take your job away from you."
"It is fine, we will figure something out. Quite frankly the campaign is the last thing on my mind."
She looks at me as if I have lost my mind. But the truth is, I really don't care. Everything will work itself out. Or maybe I am on really good pain medication. But there are things that need to be said and I won't let this damn elephant be the end of us. She is still a glow over her new career. "Donnatella I don't want to keep doing this."
Her face changes, her smile fades. "I don't want to hind my feelings and dance around the obvious any more." Her eyes grow wide and horror fills them. "I don't want any more rules or stupid logic. No more elephants. I just want us. I am not going anything day without telling you."
"Josh, don't say it."
"Donna Moss I love you." She pinches the bridge of her nose and mutters something like I am an idiot, but it is too late. It turns out that I yelled I love you very loud and the hallway erupts in cheers.
"About Freaking Time LYMAN!"
"But I thought they were already doing it?"
"All Right."
"We know already!"
Now I know why she's pissed. There is about thirty Secret Service agents out there as well as our so called friends and the cheering isn't really helping matters.
"I just sucked the romance right out of that moment didn't I?"
Hmm, in all the countless hours I spend daydreaming about this moment, I ever expected it to go like this. I didn't expect the cheers, which would have done my ego wonders, but it shouldn't be about the others. It should be a moment about us, private and personal. I always imagined it with flowers and tears, maybe the wind would be blowing throw her hair. I have had nearly 58 different fantasies about telling Donna Moss I love her.
My favorite was we were still working at the White House and… you know what, it's a nice story but for another time. Mostly because we don't work in the White House any more and it would take away from the current situation.
I told her I loved her and she called me stupid or something I couldn't quite hear over the cheering.
Logically what I did made sense, I love her and I wanted her to know. We've been though a rough day and hell, I could die at any time. I couldn't live with myself if she didn't know.
The problem was she did know.
She's known the whole time. I don't know how long she waited and I blew it. Just add that to one more crappy thing I've done to her today.
Eight years. I waited eight years. I've dreamed about it, day dreamed about it. I've lost countless hours of sleep over it. I had nearly sixty different scenarios where Josh Lyman confesses his love to me, some were times he should have said it, some were all illusions made up by a frustrated and creative mind. There are even times when I tell him first. But I don't like that as much. Is it wrong to desire a man to tell you first? I think not.
None of the scenario involve near death experiences, (ok one of them did) a new job for me (Five of them did) or hoards of cheering fans.
The moment should have been perfect. Soft whispers, gentle caresses, sweet kisses.
Instead I am smelly, sweaty, it hurts to breathe, I have seven million other things on my mind, my head throbs and I want to kill him. "Jackass." I mutter under my breath.
"I just sucked the romance right out of that moment didn't I?" He tries to smile, but even his dimples couldn't save him now. Everything starts to sink in. The cheers start to die down. "I guess I am a crappy boyfriend."
"Well the label is still very much up for debate."
Wow that was harsh, even for the bitchy mood I'm in. My words make him shrink back. His eyes avert to his hands. I know this face, I know how bad I hurt him. After all he has been through today, all the uncertainty, all the revelations, I twist the knife deeper and pour vinegar into the wound.
Tactics, how do I deal with this?
"I guess I deserved that. I know I don't deserve you." Just when I think I couldn't feel worse and couldn't love more.
"Oh, Joshua." My tone is lies about my true feelings. It sounds aggravated and frustrated, which on one level it was, but on every other level, and there are many levels, it was sad. The truth is I am struggling not to break down and cry.
Then the goofiest smile beams across his face.
"What?"
"You called me Joshua." His tone a child like hopefulness.
"Well, that's your name right?"
"But you only call me Joshua when…" he stops, afraid if he speaks his discovery I'll backtrack. One small smile reassures him. "when its us." He fumbles with the words.
I understand his meaning. Us, not alone us, but together, intimate us.
"I am so sorry, Donna."
"You have a lot to be sorry about."
"I know." We sit in comfortable silence. "You know I am kind of out on a limb here." I smile, you know, this is the most I've smiled all day. I cross the room and sit on his bed. He's still pale and weak, I can see it everywhere. But it's his eyes that it is betraying him the most.
We need to talk business. I'll make him wait a few more seconds it seems only fair.
"Amy is here, she is going to come up and talk to you for a few minutes."
He starts to whine. "I don't want to see her!"
"She's been here for an hour. You have to. Ten minutes."
"Five."
"Until I decide to set you free," he nods and I admit a new truth. "You know, I kind of hate her less today."
He seems unimpressed. "That's nice."
"I need you to do me a favor."
"Anything." He knows what's coming. He has to.
"I need you to call your mom." Hmm I guess he didn't know. "Tell her you are ok. But mostly I need you to tell her I am the target. We really can't have her finding out on CNN."
He is a little taken back by my need to protect his mother, but to him it is a hopeful sign and he smiles and nods. My fingers continue to run through his hair. It's a good thing you are a live, Josh Lyman, because I am going to kill you. That's what I want to say. But instead I lean in, fire and throbbing rush over my body, and I whisper with my lips millimeters from his lips, "Joshua. I love you too."
All the pain, physical and emotional washes away as we kiss.