Author's note: I don't know how much of this the character would really do, but it was fun to write. I bring up some old love interests but don't expect them to show up later. It was just for fun. I just love the idea of the not so helpless damsel. Enjoy.

"Bad cop." I say pointing to myself. "Bad cop." I point to the others.

"Sam, stop humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song." I slap my head in disgust, Toby, he's my sanity today. "You should be humming the James Bong theme song like I am." Never mind

"Really because I have the "Rocky" theme happening in my head." This comes from the guy I want to make president.

"Hey I have "The Eye of the Tiger" in my head." This comes from the current president.

"Look do I have to go over the directions again? Who is the bad cop?"

"You are." Sighs Leo.

"Who else?"

"We are." Sign Danny Cancanon. "I vaguely remember you doing this once before and it didn't pan out the way to wanted it, Josh."

"Shut up, Danny, why the hell are you here anyway?"

"No one fucks with Donna. No one." Finally I thought I can agree with.

I take one minute to survey my army. Two guys with broken arms, Matt and Will, who just came was released from the hospital yesterday and he doesn't look so good. Leo, the man has had two heart attacks in a year, The president with MS, Sam is now singing 'Eye of the Tiger.' Danny flew in this morning and is till jet lagged, Charlie still looks like a child molester, because he is in an epic battle of stubbornness with Donna, and Toby, who had a massive head wound. Thank God for the Secret Service, otherwise I would really feel unarmed.

By the way, I shouldn't be standing more then one hour at a time, thanks to the piece of stage that pieced my side.

The door behind me contains one of the most powerful man in the country; in front of me are the others, who happen to be a little worse for wear.

I turn to face the door, fast on my heels. I have every urge to kick it down, but it would hurt too much. "Um, Jackson, do you think you could kick down the door?"

"Why?"

"Because it would be cool." Duh.

"I swear to God, I am moving to Canada."

With a great force the door opens up and I cry at the top of my lungs. "JUSTIN HALL!"

My army follows behind.

It's funny how people look different when you see then in different locations. I don't just mean clothes, but physically they look different. When I last saw this man he seemed like a huge juggernaut of a monster attacking my girlfriend. But now, he sits behind a massive desk, on a chair nine sizes too big, in an office that is less of an office and more of a hallway.

This once giant of a man looks small.

I can take him.

"JUSTIN HALL WE HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS!" I try to sound tough, but the office is so large I am not sure if he can here me, and it is an awfully long walk over to him.

I should say, not only does he look smaller then I remember, but he doesn't even look up when I call his name. My army is getting restless.

I walk over to him, Damn it is a far walk.

"Is this about Donna Moss." He looks up as I am half away across the room.

"Yes." I try to hold back my anger until I am closer to hitting him.

"Because you are too late, they already came."

"Who already came?" Matt asks.

Now we are nearing his desk. He seems to be shaking and his eyes are all blotchy.

"The Women." Justin says with a horror in his voice, his eyes wide and lips quivering.

"Is he crying?" Sam whispers in my ear. I think he is.

Justin tries to compose himself in order to retell the story. "They came in like a sea of breasts crashing into my desk. I yelled, "What the hell are you bitches doing in here?" I should have known that was my first mistake. A blond woman, clearly military, slammed my face against my desk. Do I have a mark?"

"Kate?" Will questions, in fact it was the first time he spoke the entire ride.

"Then two small blond women came for a frontal attack. One was small, very small and started yelling at me about how could I do something this horrible and think about the PR."

"Annabeth?" Toby's voice filled with confusion.

"Then the other blond, southern, and spoke with weird syntax yelled at me about women's rights or something."

"Ainsley?" A small horror filled Sam's voice. I still don't know what happened with those two.

"Then she stole my breakfast."

"Ainsley." Sam nods in confirmation.

"Was Donna here?" I find myself asking. This was the first time he looked up and really saw us, I think.

"She stood against the wall." He points to walls, fingers shaking. "She leaned against it, arms crossed, her eyes were burning a whole in my head. This small devilish smile, painted on her face, half satisfaction, half contempt. She only said one word the whole time. She was a statue on my wall, never moving or changing her expression." He starts to shake more as he recalls her stance. I know that. I hate that look.

"Then came the others, a giant woman, powerful, mean and tall."

"CJ." Toby said.

"The words she said to me. The words." Justin's voice echoes, low and shaken.

It takes him a minute to recuperate. "Three more attacked, one older, one VERY pregnant and with brown hair."

"Debbie, Margaret and Carol."

"One more blond,"

"Helen." Matt nods, he didn't even need an description. "Did she talk to you in a low, voice and stared you down?"

"Yes."

"Did she say she was very disappointed in you?"

"YES!"

"That's the worse." Matt sighs with sympathy.

"Then your daughters showed up." Justin stares at President Bartlet. "They yelled at me in stereo, your older and younger ones. But the middle one, she just stood there, staring at me, like Donna did. When her sisters when finished she leaned in, and spoke in the darkest voice I have ever heard, her words are still burning my brain, 'I am sure you think you are evil, you've done such horrible things.' Then she pauses and leans in. 'But forcing yourself on a woman doesn't make you evil. It makes you an asshole. Boy, you don't know what evil is.' The way she looked at me, the emotionless expression on her face. I thought she was about to show me, the true face of evil. But then Donna called her off. 'Ellie' was all she said. Now I don't have point of reference, but I am pretty sure that's the way Satan calls back Cerberus."

I glance over to Charlie, eyes wide, horror filled. "Ellie, did The Voice." Even Leo shutters for a second. "It was the only thing that could make Zoey cry."

"Then the sea of breasts parted and your wife came in." He was still focused on the President.

"Oh no." The Commander in Chief whispers.

Justin stops again, to compose himself, "I won't say, I can't say it, but I don't think I can ever have an erection again."

"Did they inject you with something?" Will asks. Slightly valid considering the history.

"No, why should I be concerned?"

Will just nodded.

"They said I was to be punished. I needed to complete 500 hours of community service, in a battered women's shelter and after that I need to build one on my own. The little blond woman said I could use it for PR, but Donna shook her head "no" and the matter was settled. I can not take over my father's company until it is completed. I have to check in with this Horrible Brunette, shrill and mean, Gardner something. I pity the man who took her to bed."

Amy was here? But she doesn't even like Donna.

"I have to write one page, hand written reflection for every hour I am there and hand it in, to some Mallory girl. She had to be a teacher, she had that look, you know, that I-am going-to- call-your- parents-and-your-life-will-be-ruined-look about her."

He places his head in his hands and starts to shake. "Oh god it was just so horrible."

"Should we give him a hug?" Toby asks.

"I wish you guys had gotten here first, men will just beat the shit out of you, but women… women they mind fuck you."

Well I have to say this whole adventure leaves me feeling a little deflated. There is an awfully nice paper weight on his desk that makes its way into my pocket.

"Well I guess we should be going now." I say and lead my army out the door.

We all stand in the lobby, looking around feeling the same defeat I do.

"Sucks to be that guy." Danny finally says.

"Kinda wish I could have hit him." Sam sighs.

"Let's take his stuff." Leo suggests. So we do.

We are all a little rowdy after our victory over the evil corporate mogul. Margarita's around for everyone, well not me, because of the pain meds, and not Margaret because of the baby. We shouldn't have been surprised that the boys showed up, but for some reason we were.

They entered the Residence, like slightly defeated warriors, more accurately they look like great warriors who trained for a long time, just to show up at a battle twenty minutes after it ended.

Josh leads them and is the first to speak, "Did you have a nice day Donna?"

"It was productive."

"We stopped by Justin Hall's office this morning."

"Really how is he doing?" I ask innocently.

"He is a shell of the man he once was."

"Josh, were you trying to defend my honor?"

"It turns out you can defend it just fine." He digs into his pocket. "Here I got you this." I recognize it as the ugly paper weight on Justin's desk. "It's like the thing in Jurassic Park, now we can clone our own dinosaurs."

"Gee, thanks Josh." I don't think I did a good job of hiding my confusion.

"Abby, I got you a vase." The President smiles at the First Lady.

"Helen, flowers." Matt hands his wife the flowers that were once in the vase. Both women nod with confused approval.

"Ellie did you have to do The Voice?" Her father asks.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." She shrugs.

"You guys didn't chemically castrate him, did you? Because after Jean Paul…." Our eyes are wide, Josh and Toby hit Will.

"Plausible Deniability, Will." Toby hiss in Will's ear.

"What?" The President asks. CJ, Toby, Josh, Will and myself start to shift our weight uncomfortably.

Then Leo saves the day, "No one messes with our family, sir. No one." Danny smiles, I wonder if he wants to write the story. But the way CJ is glaring at him I am thinking it isn't going to happen.

I wonder if this is awkward for Sam to have Ainsley and Mal in one room, hell it is probably worse for Josh, because he's slept with me and Amy. No one talks about the tension that is lingering. No one talks about it because Amy gets a cell phone call that takes our attention.

"Hello, Mr. Hall. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon, what can I do for you." I didn't expect Amy to show, not when CJ started to call together the troops. But I think it had less to do with me and more to do with having Justin Hall in her back pocket.

I look at the boys who are starting to stir a little. "I see, so it's missing? Yes I think I know where it can be found and I assure you, it will be returned." Amy's gaze is on the most powerful men in the world, who before our very eyes have turned into 10 year old boys. "YOU STOLE HIS COUCH!"

What?

Then the finger pointing starts, "It was Matt's idea!" points Toby.

"HEY!"

"You have to return it." I say.

"AWE Come on! It was SO HARD to get on the elevator!" Whines Jackson.

"We do many fun things on my detail but we Do NOT steal couches." A sentence I never thought I would ever have to say.

"Really it was hard. Can't we just buy him a new one?" Whines Sam.

"NO!" Cry all the women.

"But we have a country to run." Whines the President. Gee who is running the country currently, if we are all here? Cliff? Ed and Larry?

"You should have thought of that before you stole his couch." Berates Abby.

The men start to turn towards the door, clearly defeated this time. Josh lingers.

"Do you want me to pick up dinner?"

"No, I'll do it."

"See ya at home?"

"Of course."

"Do I really have to go back there?"

"Yes."

He kisses me on the cheek, and whispers "love ya."

"Josh, thanks for trying to defend my honor."

"Any time, Donna." And he leaves with the other warriors.

When we are convinced they are gone, CJ asks, "Why didn't we think about stealing the couch?"

Well Duh, CJ. "Because we stole the chairs." Then every women in the room starts to sing the "Charlie's Angel's" theme song.