"So are you going to tell us what happened, or do you plan on sitting there all night?" Shikamaru groused from across the table. Naruto sat between Sakura and Hinata, nursing a bowl of ramen, while the other members of the original Rookie Nine, plus Neji, Lee and Ten Ten waited expectantly for him to say his piece. They had all gathered for dinner at Ichiraku Ramen, after Naruto was released from the Hokage's office, and despite their best efforts, Naruto kept the long discussion he had with Tsunade under wraps.
Now, he had finally started to slow down on his seventh bowl of ramen, and their curiosity was beginning to overwhelm their manners. Kiba snorted loudly and slammed his fist on the table, causing the lantern to almost topple over, were it not for Shino's quick intervention.
"First you go and steal our teammate from us right under our noses, then you go and destroy half of Konoha on your first date! Now you don't even have the decency to let us know how you're being punished? What kind of man are you? Not the kind of man Hinata should be going out with, eh Akamaru?" The little canine lying on Kiba's shoulder gave him a bark that sounded reproachful, which caused Kiba to frown and curse under his breath. Shino set the lantern back upright and gave his teammate a stare through his opaque sunglasses.
"Kiba, Hinata went out on a date with Naruto of her own free will. And the destruction caused today took more than one person… of that, I am sure." Sakura choked on her water, coughed and sputtered for a while, and then began to blush deeply. Naruto began to laugh at her, but was stopped by a jaundiced look from Hinata, who shook her head.
"Kiba-kun," Hinata said with a gentle smile, "I appreciate your concern for me, but Shino-kun is right – I really did want this date to happen. You knew it… Shino-kun knew it… I think everybody here knew it." This caused an uproar of raucous laughter from the gathered shinobi as they all started to express their thoughts on the matter.
"Everybody knew it but the blonde moron!" Ino said with a grin.
"Ino, don't talk about yourself like that," Sakura threw in with an innocent smile, "We all know you're mentally challenged – it doesn't help to advertise the fact."
"What did you say, Forehead Girl!"
"You heard me, Ino Pig!"
"Anyway," Neji said smoothly, interrupting the escalating hostilities, "Naruto's intentions were without malice, however, the events that eventually followed led to considerable damage. Naruto, you may not have noticed, but we are all quite curious as to what the Hokage-sama's decision was with regards to your current situation."
"Hmmph," Naruto snorted, putting his chopsticks down and pushing his bowl back, "You guys are being really irritating, you know that? What business is it of yours, anyway? It's between me and the Old Lady, isn't it?"
"Naruto-kun," Hinata said evenly, "Everyone here supported you in one way or another when you needed it. Some of them even stood up for you today when the villagers were behaving unreasonably." Sakura smiled at Hinata gratefully when she mentioned that.
"Oooh! Hinata-san speaks truly, Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed with great vehemence, "Whatever your punishment may be, I - Rock Lee – stand ready to support you! As do the other members of my team!" Getting up to strike a pose, he knocked over his water, spilling it all over Neji and Ten Ten.
"Geez, Lee," Ten Ten commented angrily, "Speak for yourself for once. I don't recall pledging to share in the burden of Naruto's punishment. If anyone should be volunteering to share in the blame, it's our Hyuuga genius Jounin over here." She tossed a wicked smile at Neji, who began to sputter with indignation.
"I-I only did what I had to because--" he trailed off, flushing slightly despite his best efforts. This piqued the interest of Ten Ten, who was unfamiliar with the concept of her normally unflappable teammate becoming flustered.
"Because 'why,' Neji?" she prodded eagerly. When the Hyuuga Jounin refused to answer, she turned a gimlet stare on Lee. The Chuunin in green spandex smiled eagerly and gestured proudly at their brooding teammate.
"Ten Ten!" Lee shouted with enthusiasm, "You should be flattered! Neji did his best to defend the transient glory of your youthful purity!" Ten Ten frowned with confusion.
"What?"
"Dammit, Lee!" Neji snarled, trying to bring him down with a Gentle Fist blow, but the Taijutsu user was too fast, dodging out of the way with ease and executing a back flip that brought him behind Ten Ten.
"He defended your honor, Ten Ten! Naruto suggested Neji take you to a 'love hotel' and Neji attempted to punish him for besmirching your good name!"
"Lee, shut-up!" Neji shouted. Sakura and Ino began to hoot with amusement, their rivalry forgotten for the moment as they began to harass a blushing Ten Ten. Hinata tired unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle, while Naruto gave Neji a big, foxy grin. Kiba was about to make a raunchy joke, but his mouth was muffled by a hand that belonged to Shino.
"So troublesome," Shikamaru commented, "Why did we come again?"
"Because your mother had arranged a blind date for you tonight," Chouji replied, oblivious to the rhetorical nature of the question as he continued to inhale a platter full of gyoza. Shikamaru sighed, and took a sip of green tea.
"That was… very nice of you Neji…..kun," Ten Ten said softly, eliciting squeals from Ino and Sakura, "I'm glad you were willing to defend my honor." Neji grunted indistinctly, turning an even brighter shade of scarlet. Ten Ten smiled at him, but he was unable to meet her eyes. It seemed this was as far as they would get tonight. Sighing to herself contentedly, the weapons master turned to give Lee an angry glare.
"So what about it, Lee? Only Neji thinks my honor is worth defending! Do you think I'm the kind of person that frequents 'love hotels?' Is that why you didn't try to 'punish' Naruto for 'besmirching my good name?' Huh?" she finished by grabbing the stunned Chuunin by his flak jacket and shaking him for all he was worth.
"No, no! You misunderstand, Ten Ten!" Lee begged, "I believe your honor is worthy of defense, but who better to defend it than Neji, right?"
"No excuses!" she shouted back, increasing the vigor of her shaking. Lee's eyeballs looked as if they were about to pop out, and when Ten Ten released him, he collapsed in a heap, groaning with dizziness. Kiba cheered and clapped along with Ino and Sakura, while Naruto winced with sympathy. He'd been on the receiving end of some pretty vicious man handling by Sakura.
"So, Naruto-kun," Hinata said softly, "Are you going to tell them or should I?" Naruto winced, and shook his head.
"Alright, alright! Jeez… Hinata, you're becoming real bossy."
"What did I tell you?" Shikamaru put in testily, "You give them an inch and they take a damn leg."
"Oh quit your whining," Ino replied sharply, "You're like a fussy old man complaining about his wife! No one forced you to go out with Temari… crybaby!"
"Ahem," Shino said rather loudly, which had everyone staring, "I believe Naruto had something to say."
"Uh… yeah, thanks Shino," Naruto said slowly, trying to overcome his shock at the other's sudden eloquence, "The Old Lady put me on probation for the next three months. That means I'm only allowed to do D-rank missions…you know… all the stupid 'garden weeding' and 'dog walking' stuff."
"I've got a bathroom that needs cleaning!" Sakura piped up.
"Our lawn definitely needs some mowing," Ino added.
"Akamaru left you a whole bunch of surprises in our backyard," Kiba crowed with delight. The list of menial tasks everyone had for him continued for quite some time before Naruto was able to reassert his control over the conversation.
"You're all hilarious," he said with a scowl, "Can I continue?"
"Only after you've given Neji a haircut," Ten Ten put in gleefully, "He's been putting it off for about 13 years!" This elicited a laughter from the gathered ninja, and a soft growl from Neji, who regarded his teammate with a sardonic smile.
"Keep teasing the hair, mouse girl," he retorted, prodding one of the buns in her hair. Ten Ten started to blush, and shot him a scathing look.
"Do not be fooled, Neji!" Lee yelled as he picked himself off the ground, "I know for a fact that Ten Ten has referred to your hair as 'a sexy, silken mane, which she would like nothing more than to run her fingers through.'"
"Dammit, Lee!" Neji and Ten Ten both shouted at the same time, "Shut-up!"
"Ahh, the spring season of youthful romance is a beautiful time indeed," Lee commented with a dreamy expression, "To think, just a few years ago Neji said Ten Ten's haircut resembled a species of field rodent, and Ten Ten said she thought Neji was girl the first time she met him."
Shikamaru sighed again, and began to rub his eyes with his thumb and index finger. Neji and Ten Ten were glaring at each other heatedly, while Lee looked on with a blissful grin.
"Lovers' spat," Ino commented softly. Sakura giggled loudly, while Hinata and Naruto exchanged weary glances. An awkward silence descended upon the table until Sakura nudged Naruto with her elbow.
"It's probably old news to Hinata, but what else did Tsunade-sama say?"
"Huh? Oh, not much," Naruto replied nonchalantly, "I had to pay the old jeweler in full for the stuff we 'shoplifted.'" Hinata cleared her throat, which caused Naruto to grin before he turned and poked her in the side. She squeaked with surprise.
"Oh no, it wasn't just my fault this time, Hinata! You ran away with me. That makes you an accomplice to the crime."
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata exclaimed with exasperation, "I didn't have much of a choice… and you said…"
"Well, it's okay Hinata," Naruto replied with an innocent smile, "Since it was your first offense, the Old Lady decided to let you off with a warning." Hinata frowned and crossed her arms with indignation. Sakura started to laugh, but was cut off when Naruto waggled his finger at her.
"By the way, Sakura… Granny Tsunade knows all those trees and park benches weren't my doing. You and I have a date with the Konoha Maintenance Bureau tomorrow. I'd bring a hard hat and lunch if I were you." Sakura groaned miserably and lay her head against the table. Ino started to snicker, and commented that Sakura would have to buy an extra large safety helmet to accommodate her extra wide forehead. Hinata glanced at Naruto nervously.
"D-date, Naruto-kun?"
"Uh… No, no! I didn't mean it like that," Naruto reassured her with a hasty shake of his head, "C'mon, Hinata! Have a little faith in me!"
"Every day, Naruto-kun…" Hinata replied with a grin. Naruto flushed and everyone started to laugh again. "There was one more thing, Naruto-kun," Hinata said with a wry smile. The blonde shinobi sighed and muttered something that sounded very similar to 'troublesome.' Hinata pinched him on the arm, and he sat up straighter.
"Granny Tsunade also said that every time I'm back from missions or training, I have to be accompanied by a chaperone…"
"Whoa!" Kiba commented with a shake of his head, "Being responsible for Naruto! That sounds like an A-rank mission for sure!"
"Has Jiraiya-sama been given that job as well?" Shino inquired thoughtfully, "He is one of the legendary Sannin, after all…"
"Perhaps Kakashi?" Neji commented with upraised eyebrows.
"Gai-sensei! It has to be Gai-sensei!" Lee burst out decisively, "Only a Jounin with Gai-sensei's chique sense of style, and compassionate enthusiasm for youth could handle a case like Naruto!"
"No, no, and hell no!" Naruto shouted emphatically, "None of those idiots are worth anything beyond life and death situations!" The gathered shinobi nodded their heads with agreement.
"Then who could have been given something so ridiculously stressful?" Ten Ten asked with an exasperated sigh, "I can't imagine any normal human being charged with this task." Naruto's nostrils flared and he looked ready to say something, when Hinata cleared her throat loudly.
"Ahem. I-I'm Naruto-kun's chaperone…" There was a collective gasp of surprise mingled with horror. Most of the horror originated from Sakura and Neji.
"Hinata-sama! Why would you agree to this! Do you know how difficult--"
"Hinata! Don't do it! You've got your whole life ahead of you!"
"Oooh! Hinata-san, you're such a good person! Naruto-kun is so lucky to have someone as compassionate as Gai-sensei!" Lee's comment was met with laughter and more comments. Finally, Naruto stood up and slammed a fist on the table, silencing everyone momentarily. Grinning fiercely, he pointed at Hinata.
"I think Hinata's perfect for the job! There's no one here with a clearer sense of right and wrong!"
"Or greater patience," Shikamaru muttered quietly. Naruto threw the Chuunin a dirty glare before continuing.
"In fact, I, Uzumaki Naruto insisted that she be my chaperone! Does anyone have a problem with that!" He snarled with a look that dared anyone to challenge him. His declaration was met with cheers and applause. When the applause started to die down, Hinata cleared her throat again.
"Actually Naruto-kun," she said softly, "There was one more thing Tsunade-sama wanted you to do, was there not?" Naruto groaned a martyr's groan and hung his head.
"I can do that tomorrow," he groused petulantly.
"No, I believe Tsunade-sama insisted you do it by tonight."
"Gah! You're worse than Iruka-sensei!"
"Naruto-kun!" It was the loudest anyone heard Hinata speak, and everyone there was loving every minute of it. Neji gave his cousin a proud smile, while Ino, Sakura and Ten Ten flashed her thumbs-up. Naruto rolled his eyes and turned to face Sakura. The pink haired kunoichi regarded him suspiciously.
"Sakura," he said mischievously, "I shouldn't have made a comment about your breasts today. It was wrong of me, and I am a bad person for doing so. Your body is developing at it's own pace, and for me to judge your body when I cannot know what you're going through is mmpphh--" He was stopped as a fiercely blushing Sakura shoved her hands over his mouth.
"Geez, Naruto!" she hissed, "A simple, 'I'm sorry' would have been fine!"
"Naruto-kun," Hinata said in a reproachful voice.
"Alright… I'm sorry, okay?" he replied with an impish grin, "Sheesh, I was only doing what you told me to do, Hinata."
"It's not too late, you know," Ten Ten commented sympathetically, "We can talk to Tsunade-sama for you, and save you the trouble." Hinata considered the other girl's words for a moment, then gave everyone the biggest smile they had ever seen on her. She took out her golden pendant, and grasped Naruto's hand tightly. Naruto followed her lead and took out his corresponding silver pendant.
"Hyuuga Hinata," she said proudly, "Will no longer ever be afraid of trouble!"