A Moment in Time
DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter (and associated characters, likenesses, concepts, etc.) belongs to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic, Inc. AOL/Time Warner, Inc., among others. I make no claim, written or implied, upon Harry Potter. No money is being made and no infringement or disrespect to the creators / copyright holders is intended.
Warning: This story will contain slash (ie. male/male relationships) and mpreg, although neither will be graphic.
A/N: This story was inspired by the many wonderful stories that I have read and enjoyed here at fan fiction and any similarities to existing stories is not intended. This story is AU, meaning that the events that occurred in the OOTP have not been taken into account and am I in no means suggesting the material described in this story should be considered as a direct interpretation of cannon. Also, I am American so I apologize in advance for any Americanisms.
Chapter Eleven – Fatherhood"I was pregnant."
Those three relatively simple words had the affect of what Harry imaged an atomic bomb would have had detonated at close range. Draco paled and sat down heavily in his chair, while Sirius burst out of his chair with a tremendous force and grabbed Harry; even Snape was so shocked that he could neither hide his surprise nor put into words exactly what he was feeling.
After a few tense moments, Sirius managed to stutter, "H – H -- How is that possible, Harry? You couldn't have been pregnant. You're a man, for Merlin's sake. Men don't have babies. You are just trying to put one past us." Sirius continued to question his Godson, and when he saw no sign that this had been a joke, he added more timidly, "Aren't you?"
Harry felt his throat swell as emotions he had been holding deep down inside him struggled to come out, and spill all over everyone. Still watching the blonde, and knowing that if he were to speak that his voice would certainly crack, Harry managed to shake his head no.
Sitting back down, his mind swirling so fast that he wasn't sure he would be able to tell someone his own name if asked, Sirius' sighed. "I don't understand what this all means, Harry; would you please explain this to me again slowly?"
Severus had sufficiently recovered enough to sneer, "Always one to state the obvious weren't you Black." With out a second glance at Sirius, Snape turned his full attention back to Harry. "What this means is that Harry is much more powerful than what we had even believed."
At the Potion Masters' softly spoken words, Harry decided to try to finish his tale.
"Nicole, recognizing male pregnancy for what it was and knowing that I was the first one in several hundred years to actually become pregnant, knew that if I was to survive it and actually give birth that I would need assistance. After I repeatedly refused to go see a medi-wizard friend of hers, she decided that the only way to ensure that I took proper care of myself and the baby was to stay with me. I used glamours so that the band didn't realize that I was pregnant; and Nikki made sure that I got plenty of rest and ate right. About six months later, after a painful labor the twins were born." Harry's voice shook slightly as he remembered the birth of his sons. "Since I had stayed away from any professional hospitals and the types of tests that they perform there, we didn't have any way of knowing that I was carrying twins. Nicole would do a spell that routinely checked the baby's health, and it always came back a very strong blue. Not knowing any different, we just assumed that it meant that the baby was very strong." Harry paused for a moment to ascertain how his companions were taking all this. Severus looked very interested, taking in each word with rapt attention; Draco was listening but was still quite dazed and Sirius continued to look like he was in shock.
"Nicole actually delivered the boys herself. We couldn't believe that there were two of them. To say we were surprised doesn't even come close to what we were feeling at that moment. They were just so amazing. They were so small that for a short while, I was afraid to hold them, afraid that I might hurt them." Harry ran a hand through his hair, caught up in very special memories.
"As I was still practicing and traveling with the band, Nikki decided to stay on with me and help look after the boys. We decided to set up here in San Diego as our home base and I get home as much as I can to be with Evan and Matthew. We've been here ever since."
Harry worriedly looked over at Draco, taking in his too pale complexion and his rapid breathing. After taking a few moments to compose himself, Draco raised his wide questioning eyes. "So it's true, then; the twins, they are mine aren't they?"
Harry nodded. "Yes Dray, they're yours, yours and mine."
"But why didn't you tell me? I would never have let you go through all that by yourself if I had known. For Slytherin's sake, I came back for you not even knowing that you were pregnant with my children; had I known, I would have done anything to keep you and them safe." Draco paused in his rant and with a trembling hand wiped a stray tear from his eye. "Weren't you ever going to tell me? Didn't you think enough of me to at least let me know that I had children out there? Didn't I deserve to know?"
Sirius and Severus knew better than to interrupt as they watched this painfully private moment between two men who had obviously been a whole lot closer than anyone knew.
Over the past years, Harry must have gotten good at hiding his emotions, as the only way that one could tell he was upset was a small tick that appeared on one of his cheeks. "Draco, you have no idea how much I wanted to tell you about being pregnant, but if you remember you were the one that left, not me." Harry got up from his chair and, without looking at anyone, started to pace back and forth in his office.
"Do you remember what you said to me before you left? You told me to move on and not look back, remember? And that's exactly what I did. How dare you question me or my motives; you have no idea what I went through or how many times I just felt like giving up everything just so that we could be together again." Harry thought back briefly on how lonely and desperate he had become after Draco had left. Determined to make Draco understand, Harry pushed those thoughts away and continued with his explanation. "But then the boys were born and I knew that I would never do anything to put them in harms way. Even thought I no longer cared about what happened to me, I couldn't let anything happen to them. They had already lost one parent; I couldn't let them loose another one." Finally, Harry looked over at his sons' other father. "I pretty much hated you then."
Harry's last softly spoken statement hit Draco as though Harry had simply struck him hard across the face. No matter how bad it had gotten, he had never imaged that Harry would have hated him.
"So that's it then, you hated me for leaving you alone and pregnant, so you decided not to even let me know that I was a father. How was I supposed to know that you were pregnant? We were only together that one time, the night before I left, so tell me why you blamed me for abandoning the family that I couldn't have known existed. Merlin, there hasn't been a male pregnancy in centuries and somehow you thought that I should just know that you were with child and have stayed with you." Draco shook his head a look of disbelief on his face. "You took the coward's way out. How every un-Gryffindor of you, Potter," Draco spit out still smarting from Harry's earlier remark.
"Malfoy, get over yourself. This isn't about you. This isn't even about me, it's about two small children who deserve a whole hell of a lot more of a childhood than either one of us ever had the chance to have. And I, for one, am damn well going to make sure that they get it." Harry was so furious that the lights started to flicker.
Sirius had had enough, when Harry's anger started to affect the lighting, he decided it was time to intervene. "Look you two; obviously there is some very personal unfinished business between the two of you. I suggest that you both calm down before you continue this discussion. If you continue this way, you both are going to say things that you don't mean and will regret later. Don't we all have enough regrets right now with out adding more to it?"
As amusing as it was to watch the two young men argue, it really was counter productive to their reason for coming here in the first place. "I believe that is the most intelligent thing I heard you say, Black." Severus stated. "While Harry's personal life since he left Azkaban will need to be further explored, let's save that for some other time and get back to the reason why we are here, shall we?"
Harry was trying to calm himself down. During the years since he had last seen Draco he had imagined their reunion many times, but never had he thought it would be like this. "Look, we've been at this now for a couple of hours. I know that we still have unfinished business that needs to be discussed but I, as I'm sure you know as you've been following me around, haven't been home for over a week. I promised Evan and Matthew that I would spend this afternoon with them and that is one promise I intend to keep. So you gentlemen will just have to excuse me."
Harry tried not to chuckle as he saw all three men start to protest at the same time. Harry calmly raised his hand to stop their complaints before they started. "I'll have Nola, my housekeeper, bring you some lunch in the dining room, and then show you to some guest rooms as I have the feeling that what ever business brought you here will take some time for us to discuss. The twins are usually in bed by 7:30 or so, so after dinner tonight, you can tell me exactly what you are doing here. Although I warn you now that if you are here on some plea from that bastard Dumbledore you might as well leave now."
Knowing that Harry had effectively closed their current conversation, the three Order members nodded in agreement. As Harry turned to leave, Draco reached out and touched his arm. Harry tried not to gasp as he felt a shock run through him originating where Draco had a hold of his arm. As he studied the blonde who had prevented his exit, he saw that he was experiencing a similar reaction to the touch.
"Harry, do you think it would be alright if I could just tag along with you? I would really like the opportunity to get to know the twins."
Harry thought carefully about his response before he said anything. He didn't want to upset Draco anymore than he had already. "Look Draco, I know that you mean well. But please understand. You just pop up back in my life one day, after you walked out of it years ago. As of this moment, I have no idea why you are here or what your intentions are. Until I know more about what is going on, I have to try to minimize any contract you have with Matthew and Evan. I don't want them to find out about you or to get close to you and then have you leave them. I won't let you or anyone hurt them if I can help it, so for right now you'll just have to respect my decision and stay away from them."
Harry felt his own heart beat painfully in his chest as he looked into the hurt eyes of his sons' other father. "Maybe someday when I better understand what your intentions are towards them I will allow a relationship to form, but for right now I think they and you are better off just letting things stay as they are."
Without another word, Draco let his arm fall from where he had been holding onto Harry and turned away from the man who had once more broken his heart.
With a sigh, Harry quickly left the den rubbing the spot on his arm where he could still feel Draco's touch. Knowing that he was not emotionally ready to deal with the three men and what they represented just yet, he willfully pushed their un-welcomed presence out of his mind. As he passed through the kitchen, Harry left instructions to provide lunch and rooms for Draco, Severus and Sirius and then continued out to the beach to spend what remained of the afternoon with his family.
* * *
Harry quickly changed his appearance back into that of Emrys Kingston before he left the sanctuary of his home. Nicole and the twins had seen him as he really was and knew that this 'Emrys face' as the twins like to call it was only for public, but Harry didn't like the idea of even being on his own private beach without the security of his disguise.
Once outside, Harry turned his face up towards the sun feeling its warmth flow though him as he let the anxiousness of the last few hours fade away. Following the excited peals of laughter, Harry slowly made his way down the beach to where Matthew and Evan where playing in the sand.
As he approached, he watched as the twins exchanged a mischievous glance and start tossing handfuls of sand at Nicole, who had become distracted by a hungry seagull that had come near begging for a scrap of bread. Nicole squealed in mock outrage and started to chase what she termed 'the little demons'. It didn't take her long to catch each wiggling boy in her arms and start to tickle them. The boys soon gave up and the three of them fell in a heap onto the warm sand and lay there trying to catch their breath. Not one to be left out for too long, Harry took that as his opportunity to join in the fray. Soon the only noise that could be heard over the pounding waves was the bright and happy laughter of a family playing together in the sand.
* * *
An odd feeling, as though someone was squeezing his heart, made Draco shudder as once more the wind carried the happy giggles of the twins playing down by the ocean. Every once in a while, Draco could catch Harry's voice, although Draco could not make out any specific words it was clear from his tone that he was teasing and clearly enjoying being with his children. A specifically loud and sharp peal of laughter caused Draco to once more glance out the window in hope to see what Harry and the boys were up to. Not able to see much over the large dunes that provided the house privacy, the blonde man was about to give up when Sirius came up beside him.
"What's that thing there up in the sky?"
Draco followed where Sirius was looking and saw a large multi-colored shape flying high in the sky. It appeared to be blowing in the wind, attached to a piece of string. The string then disappeared behind the dune in the area that Draco assumed Harry and the twins to be. "I don't know. What do I look like...a muggle?"
"Look, I know that you're upset with Harry for not telling you about the twins, and I know that it hurts that Harry doesn't want you to spend time with them, but that is no reason to take it out on me."
Draco, realizing the truth behind Sirius' words, nodded his head.
Encouraged, the Marauder continued, "To be honest I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that not only were we lucky enough to find Harry, but he actually has two beautiful children. Prongs is a grandfather." Sirius finished in a whisper, before stealing a glance at the former Slytherin to ensure that he was listening before he resumed his watch outside for any sign of his godson or his family. "I haven't begun to really comprehend that they are your children as well and all the ramifications that brings to bear on the situation."
"I don't blame Harry for not wanting to open himself up to be hurt again. We all hurt him more than we can imagine; more than what I could ever personally expect forgiveness for. I don't blame him at all for being cautious about wanting to expose his children to us and all that we represent. After all, he's just acting in what he thinks is in the best interest for his boys. But I do know this Draco, if those were my children, whether or not I knew about them before now, I would try anything to be a part of their lives. I wouldn't want to miss another moment of seeing them grow up; you've missed too much already. My advice to you is to do whatever it takes to prove to Harry that you only want the best for those boys, so that he'll let you into their family."
All the while that Draco was staring outside wishing to be a part of that loving family, he had felt his anger at Harry grow. Surprised by the immense feelings of pride and wonderment when Harry had announced that the boys were indeed his, the only important thing at that moment was to be with his children.
Knowing his sexual preference since he was rather young, he never gave a thought about the possibility of having children of his own. The fact that there existed two children that shared his blood, his heritage, his genes made his head swim. 'They were his; they belonged to him', Draco thought possessively.
Draco wanted a chance to get to know his sons, to hold them, play with them, tuck them in at night and teach them. He never realized how much he wanted to be a father. In the back of his mind, he was worried that he wouldn't be a good one, not having a role model as Lucius never was much of a father figure. But Draco was determined that now that he knew he actually was lucky enough to have children, that he wanted to be the best father that he could be. Now, all he needed to do was to convince Harry to give him a chance. Staying mad at Harry certainly wouldn't win him any points towards that goal, and with a tentative action plan decided, Draco felt any anger at the dark haired man fade away.
"Come on Draco, why don't we go upstairs to our rooms and rest for a while? Neither of us got much sleep last night and I have a feeling that for the conversation we'll be having later on, we'll all need to be on our best behavior. I checked on Snape before I came down here and he was getting ready to take a nap."
With a last longing glance out the window, Draco turned and followed Sirius out of the kitchen and up to the third floor where their guest rooms were located.
* * *
The cool evening breeze off the ocean blew lightly making the curtains decorated with toy cars and trucks billow out into the large bedroom. Tucking his precious children in for the night, the tall man gently swept the raven colored bangs off his son's forehead before he leaned down and kissed him goodnight. Making sure that each boys was secure, Evan with his stuffed bunny and Matthew with his stuffed doggy, stuffed animals that had been constant companions since they were only two months old, Harry turned on the night light and closed the door behind him softly as he exited the room.
Feeling sticky from the sand and salt water, Harry decided to take a quick shower before joining his guests for their evening meal. His room was across the hall from the twin's bedroom. Each bedroom had an adjoining bathroom. Next to the twin's room was a large playroom that Harry made sure was filled with every kind of muggle toy imaginable. Harry knew that the twins were a tad spoiled, but he was determined to make sure that they had all the things that he had wanted growing up at the Dursleys but had never had.
Nicole occupied the bedroom across from the playroom and next to Harry. All of the family's bedrooms were on the second floor, while the third floor had three guest rooms, which were all currently occupied and a large workout room. The first floor had the kitchen, dining room living room, family room, den/library, powder room, and a practice room where the band could practice.
Harry gave a startled yelp as the hot water stung his sun kissed shoulders. Nicole had made sure that the twins were wearing sunscreen, but of course, she hadn't reminded Harry to put any on. She was irritated with the fact that Harry refused to tell her about their unexpected visitors other than they would be staying for at least one night and possibly more. Harry knew that he owed Nicole an explanation. He would never have been able to survive had it not been for her and the help she had given him. She literally became Harry's lifeline over the past several years, especially in the time since the twins were born. Although Harry suspected that she wanted something more than friendship to develop between them, he had been upfront with her, stating that there was no romantic future between them. Clearly, she knew that the twins other parent was a man, as he was the one carrying the children. Never engaging in any romantic entanglements since he had met her had to make her curious about who this mysterious man in his past was.
Harry laid his forehead on the shower stall wall as the water rinsed the soap suds from his hair. He had a bad feeling about why Sirius, Severus and Draco were here. Dumbledore would only send them if it was a last resort. 'Well, that old fool is in for a surprise if he thinks that just because he finally decided to find me that I will come to heal. I'm not nearly the same trusting kid that once looked at the old man as a mentor, and more importantly, as a friend. He lost whatever right he had to ask anything of me a long time ago.'
Shaking the excess water from his hair, Harry turned off the shower and stepped out onto a large fluffy bath rug. Taking his time with his appearance, Harry dressed in a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a white silk shirt that showed his tan and muscles off. Finally ready to hear, if not listen to, what the others had to say, Harry left his room and made his way back down to the dining room where the others were waiting for him to start their evening meal.
To be continued.