Ok, maybe this story has drug itself out to be longer than I expected, but I still hope that all of you who are reading it are enjoying it, because I am having the greatest time writing it. Well please review, and have a nice day!

Disclaimer: I own none of Buffy the vampire slayer... yet...

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Have you ever had the feeling, that feeling of uncertainty. Like you knew you had to make one decision, but you didn't quite know if it was truly the right decision. Caught in the middle of two totally different worlds that seem to be colliding over you. Covering you with confusion, guilt, and sadness. It is almost impossible to understand what Buffy was feeling at that moment if you are not one of those people. Buffy was being torn, torn over a choice that could very well mean how her future goes, and her life in general. Although this she could tell was just going to be one of those confusing days, where she has to balance the safety of the world, her love life, and school all on her shoulders.

Buffy stood outside of Angel's apartment, she was wondering whether or not she should go in. She didn't know how he would react to her, and it kind of scared her to even think about it. She looked back on what had happened, and wondered why he pretended to be his 'evil' self. That most likely made her trust him even less then. She took in a deep breath and pushed the door open stepping into the small apartment. "Angel…" she called through the room, it bothered her that Angel wasn't answering her, another thing that bothered her is the fact that she could still feel where Spikes hand had pressed against her bum in that calm manner, as if he owned it, or her for that matter. But we shall get into that later…

Buffy moved through the apartment, "Angel… are you here?" Finally after another minute or so of calling for him, Angel stepped out, "Buffy…" Buffy looked at him a smile taking place upon her lips, "Angel, I-" Angel had cut her off, which in her book seemed a bit rude. Spike never cut her off, well maybe on occasion, but that is besides the point. Angel spoke in an icy tone that could most likely freeze hell over, "Spike… I smell him on you… y-you reek of him…" Angel didn't like Spikes scent. He always smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. The smell was completely putrid.

Buffy looked down her smile fading, "yeah… the whole vampire smelling thing… has anyone ever told you how weird that is?" She looked up hoping to see a humored Angel, but none was to be found. Angel turned his back to Buffy and said in his still rather cold voice, "Buffy… Do you love Spike?" This was one question that Buffy was unsure she could answer. They were wanting answers so quickly, and they were pressing her. She just wanted to be alone in her confusion, unless there was someone who could help her. But she couldn't think up any names at the time. She was frozen, frozen in the very moment that she had begun her reply to his oh so direct questions, "I-I…"

Spike was sitting backwards in one of his many discarded chairs laying about, one he had specifically chosen to turn right-side up for this. His arms were folded across the chair's back, chin resting on those arms. He was looking at some shimmery thing on the dresser in front of him. It was perfectly round and held a silver hue. It was the Orb, as Giles had explained earlier that was the keeper of the memories. Different pictures were fuzzed and faded in the background; Strangers and important events in their lives, the things that held their essence together--knowing who they were and who they… loved. Then those very things brought back to keep confined within the thin layer of glass and magic that made up the Orb's boundaries. But the only pictures that were clear to Spike were those of Buffy's memories. A voice drifted across his mind, all so familiar and one he had on mind so much recently.

"How does it feel to be the loser? You lose me… then you lose the fight… what else do you want to lose while you're at it?" Buffy…. To that statement he had made such a calm response, as if it had been the most natural response in the world. "Well pet, they way I see it… I haven't lost you… or this fight, and I certainly do not plan to lose either of the two…" But as far as Spike could reason, that was just him throwing the slayer off balance as usual. Counteract her words. And most of all, never give up, no matter how cornball or crazy-minded it might get to get him what he wanted. But it seemed that his words had held a hand of power. It must have made an affect in Buffy's mind, he remembered it as vividly as some of the memories floating before him in the Orb. Her face, of some kind of realization had dawned on her. Willow and Xander walked across the face of the Orb. They looked troubled. Red looked rather embarrassed. Spike prodded the soft layer of cloud that surrounded the glass, and it swirled briefly before choosing some other scene. He held his tongue between bared teeth. Angel. Kissing. Buffy. He had the screaming urge to prod the Orb again to change the scene, but continued to unwillingly torture himself with the offending material. It played over in his mind as he watched Buffy and the other vampire, their bodies entwined, her face playing with content happiness. 'How does it feel to be the loser?' He was moving his lips in the oddest of ways, Spike was. He almost looked like a fish, willing himself to be the on the receiving end of the impromptu action. 'You lose me… then you lose the fight… what else do you want to lose while you're at it?' Lost…. By now he most surely had lost her… unless the question still stood… Was she ever his to lose? Ownership, a funny thing. What was true of it was, though, there was an extremely thin line between theft and belonging.

Though Spike might have felt more confident about how he had handled her earlier if he knew that his words about ownership had affected Buffy just as much as hers had him. Buffy still felt trapped, though. Knowing about Spike's discovery of his contemplative side still wouldn't get her away from the question now posed. Angel stared intently at Buffy, who was frozen, searching her desperately for some answer; like someone trying to read a book with impossibly small print. He ended this soon enough, seeing as he couldn't tell anything from her paralyzed form. "Buffy?" He snapped, louder than before, and Buffy was jolted back to reality. Her eyes darted around for some escape, and landed on her wrist watch.

"God, I can't believe how late it's gotten. Sorry I couldn't stay." She turned to leave when Angel shot out a hand and gripped her arm. "Buffy." His face was shadowed. "Answer the question. Do you.. love Spike?" Buffy blurted out the first answer that came to mind without directly answering. "What do you think?" She mirrored his coldness, or tried to. It now sounded preposterous to even think that she had a thing for Spike. Emphasis on 'sounded'. She absent-mindedly rubbed the area on her posterior where Spike had touched her, as if trying to wipe what had happened away. Angel let go of her arm at this response, but narrowed his eyes. "What kind of answer is-" Buffy cut him off, suddenly feeling rather angry. "Where do you go off playing detective all of a sudden? Interrogation now part of the whole vampire beat? It wasn't one day ago you were playing Dr. Evil, scaring me out of my sanity!" All Angel could utter was an incredulous "What?"

Buffy stood taller. "Chaining me to a bed, making me think you were my enemy by snarling and baring your fangs! Had it ever occurred to you that I just might had been saved sooner had you treated me like a friend instead of a killer? No, I think having Spike swoop in and save me from the big scary kidnapper--that totally took it for me. If it wasn't for that spell Willow learned-"

"Willow? WILLOW?" Angel breathed out heavily from his nostrils. "I saved you! You should be grateful, I was the one who distracted Spike!" Buffy narrowed her eyes, following suit. "You have no idea how alike you and Spike really are, do you?" A look of offense crossed Angel's features, surprise, rage. He mouthed the word 'alike?' silently, with utmost disbelief. "No plans, running about with my heart! Treating me as a trophy… treating my safety as if I was a rag doll! Doesn't matter what happened 'long the way, Buff, as long as I'm the one that got you in the end! Idiots!" She threw her hands up into the air, as if defeated, then turned on her heel and left the apartment abruptly. Angel watched her leave with a slight rage burning in his eyes as he lay on his bed, "heh… if she wants to see how Spike and I are alike… that is exactly what she'll get…"

Buffy stormed down the sidewalk tears brimming her eyes as she thought of where she could go. She knew she didn't want to go crawling back to Angel. She couldn't go and burden her friends anymore than she has already. There was only one place that she could go where she could feel safe, and not have her heart shattered into a million pieces. She turned a corner quickly heading towards Spike's house, hoping he would still let her come in. She knew that somehow she had to make a decision on who she is to be with, but she wondered why it couldn't be a tad bit easier. She walked into his house, she wondered through the living room, and stood at the edge of the stairs leading down to the bedroom. She thought back to what Spike had said earlier… 'I still own that ass. Own it, I do. I can have it whenever I choose, I just let you think it's yours for the moment.' She sat down on the first step as the tears finally came. She drew her knees to her chest and lay her head on her knees, she rocked back and forth all the time whispering between sniffles, "What do I do?… I-I c-can't choose both…"

She looked up as a cold hand touched her shoulder. She looks back to see the vampire we all know and love… Spike. He walks around and sits beside her putting and arm around her shoulder and whispering to her in a calm, soothing manner, "The one you choose… should be the one who cares the most…" She looked at him one last tear falling down her cheek. Spike reached up and wiped her tear away caressing her cheek with his finger tips, "how bout we settle this tonight luv…" Buffy gave a faint nod to him as she lay her head on his shoulder. It is amazing how the day changes so quickly. At first you start out fighting someone, then next thing you know, they have turned into the one that is comforting you in your time of need. It was something that Buffy would have to get use to, in the mean time she had a big decision to make.

Angel thought for a second. He knew what he needed to do, and he was going to do what he was there to do in the first place. He would have to trick them into taking his soul away first, and that could get awfully tricky. Considering once he was evil they wouldn't trust him to stay inactive long enough to get his soul back once the job was done. His eyes narrowed as he glared at the ceiling, he knew what he must do, and that was put Spike out of his misery. Make it to where Buffy has no choice but to come to him, when she hears that Spike was mysteriously killed by an unknown demon. He grinned lightly at how good it felt. The pleasure he would take out of seeing her face when she heard. The true Angelus was rearing his ugly head, and Buffy would get to see exactly how much he and Spike are alike. Angel of coarse knew that Buffy wouldn't like it.

Spike stood helping Buffy up. He looked at her with questioning eyes as he asked, "So, pet, what are you doing back here?" he paused for a moment letting out a small sigh, "come to 'kick every square inch of my body' again, but end up having a break down. Or did tall, dark, and forehead do something to make you upset…" Buffy sighed and looked up to him, then she made her way towards the living room as she said, "Angel… asked me if I loved you…" She turned to look at him once more as she reached the arm chair, seeing a look of complete and utter surprise cross his face, only to immediately replaced by the calm exterior look. He walked up to her and stood next to her turning her towards him, "…and what did you say pet?" Buffy gazed into his eyes as she told him her answer, "I told him…"