Wow... finally I get to chapter 14, well I hope you get surprised by the ending of this chapter... I almost cried writing it, butdon't tell anyone. Well I hope you enjoy, and if there are any comments you have, just review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the vampire slayer, although I wish I did.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sometimes we look to hard to find someone to keep us company, we look for that physical comfort that we miss so much… that inner feeling of just wanting to be held and talked to in soothing words. That feeling that we are not alone that can often be very, very dangerous, the one that makes us crave affection, that makes us something we are not meant to be. This longing feeling will turn you into a demon of sorts, not just because you are seeking it out, but because of what you might do while seeking it out.

Angel crossed to the other side of the apartment and opened a small chest, just as he reached into it he had a thought that maybe he was going at this all wrong. He was beginning to think that losing his soul would be the wrong way to go, the fact that it would most likely drive Buffy further away from him rather than closer. He shook the thoughts out of his head and new thoughts formed, thoughts like 'If I can't be happy with Buffy… then I might as well be happy without a soul…' He took a deep breath and pulled out a ring. It was a silver ring much like the one he gave Buffy. He took a long hard look at it and threw it to the floor watching it land with a light thud.

It was time that Angel take matters into his own hands. He had lost Buffy once, and he didn't want to lose her again. He could barely stand to see her with spike, that created a small hole in his heart that he felt only Buffy could heal. But now… the hole has gotten bigger, and fulfilling it will take a lot more effort that just a kidnapping scheme. It is hard to think of Angel acting this way, hard to think of him as the violence seeking type, but the harsh reality is… love has those effects on people, so why not a vampire? Love works its wonders, but how it works, we are lucky if we are not destroyed by it.

Spike looked at Buffy with expectant eyes eager to hear her response. He sure hoped that she had told tall, dark, and forehead that she was in love with him. He would have love to see Angel's face if that was what she had told him, the look of dissatisfaction, regret, and sorrow. Oh what a joy that would have been for Spike. Buffy looked up to Spike and sat down, " I think I… told him I was unsure…" of coarse this threw Spike's fantasy right out the window, but he tried not to look disappointed as he replied in his still calm tone, "Buffy…" Buffy stood again as if unable to decide whether or not she wanted to sit down, she looked off away from Spike focusing on a weapon rack as she said in a kind of weak tone, "I came back because…" in a softer tone she continues, "I just need someone to hold me…" Spike tilted his head lightly and walked over to her, he sat in the arm chair and pulled Buffy into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her as she lay her head against his shoulder. They sat there for a moment in the silence. Buffy loved the feeling of being in spike's arms, she felt warm, and safe, and most of all loved.

Spike couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. He knew that in his plan he was not supposed to fall in love with the slayer, if only she weren't so dang irresistible. Spike thought he now knew what Angel saw in her, why Angel was so eager to get her back. He stroked her hair lightly and whispered, "I am here to hold you pet…" Buffy sniffled lightly taking in the moment. She didn't want to lose this feeling she had, the kind of feeling you have when you have a really good burrito, and you want to savor the taste for as long as you can, only it wasn't exactly like that. Spike rubbed his hand up her shoulder and continued in a soft whisper, "don't worry pet…" Buffy looked up turning to Spike, she kissed him lightly closing her eyes, he kissed her back then broke away, "No Buffy…" Buffy almost looked hurt, but she held it back as Spike continued, "you can't expect this to happen when you can't even tell Angel if you love me or not…" Buffy hung her head as she nodded lightly, she had expected this to happen. If only she weren't scared to tell Angel about it.

She didn't feel that Angel wasn't the Angel she knew anymore. He had changed since the whole thing started, and she didn't like it. The only one that remain consistent to her was Spike, hard to believe, but she thought that she loved him, and she was beginning to find this out. But the only thing she was starting to regret was how she had to find out. Having to basically hurt Angel in the process wasn't exactly something that she wanted to do. She had felt guilty about it, but now she knew that she would have to Angel about her feelings one way or another, the only thing she had to figure out now was how to get Angel to listen to her. She would be surprised if he would even look at her after their little 'confrontation' that day. She drew in a deep collective breath, "ok… but come with me…"

Spike's eyes widened at her request. He hadn't expected her to want to go right away to tell him, but he was glad she had decided to tell him, and not keep coming back because her little lover boy was jealous. He stood up a smirk playing across his lips, "ok, pet… if you wish." He places his arm around her waist as they walk towards the door of the apartment and walk out it. Spike shook his head, he had diverted from his original plans, but if he could, he knew he would still get Buffy. He felt as if she were his, after all she had been with him for about a week with her memories erased, and even after that she still comes back to him over Angel. To him there was something wrong with this picture, he wasn't quite understanding. He thought all this time that she was in love with Angel, and she wouldn't give him the time of day… well except for a good fight that is. Although Spike was not going to question this, everything was perfect for him right now, she hates Angel and loves him, yep things just couldn't be any better on his part. But he knew, he could just feel that after she was with him… Buffy would be much happier. Why should she want to be with a vampire that can't even 'make a happy' without losing his soul, she deserved the vampire that could give her what she wants, what she needs, and what she desires. Spike was longing to fill Buffy's empty space.

Angel sniffed at the air, he got a good whiff of Spike and Buffy. He knew they were probably headed there, and he figured he should be ready. He brought out the orb of Thessela that gave him his soul back. He looked at it quietly then smashed it against the wall in an angry rage. A blue light surrounded Angel as he yelled in pain, but as the blue light receded he stood an evil look adorning his expressions. He walked out the door figuring the least he could do for Buffy and Spike before he killed them was meet them in the middle. Angel had made his transformation, and what had he done it for? Love's sake? Or was if just his own selfish desires for Buffy that drove him off the deep end of the pool? I doubt that we could prove for sure what was going on with Angel, but I do know something. A broken love is nothing to be messed with, once you lose that love, it is almost impossible to regain it. So maybe Angel is just resorting to last measures, or maybe his love for Buffy Summers has driven him to make the biggest mistake of his vampire 'life.'

Angelus walked out of the building and into the night, it was time. He grinned as he walked thinking of all the possible ways to torture now-a-days. He had many ideas, and he should love to use them all, but then again there is that problem where they die before you can get to the last idea. Well, he would just have to make them last. As he got further down the sidewalk they came into view, he could see Spike's hand around her waist, that almost had him disgusted. As he finally came within speaking distance of them he said in his sexy, evil voice, "Hello lover…" he stood leisurely in front of them in order to keep them from running anywhere as he looked over them, his eyes scanning every aspect of the situation. Angelus began speaking as he took a step towards Spike, "What happened Spike… I was your sire, your yoda… remember?"

This nearly made Spike laugh, but he held his calm demeanor as he glared at Angelus and said through clenched teeth, "Things change… remember Angelus?" Angelus snickered lightly shaking his head as he said, "I see, well then you wont mind dieing tonight…" Spike held Buffy a little closer as Angelus stepped forward, as he thought something were going to happen to her. Buffy's eyes grew wide as he advanced, this wasn't the Angel she had seen earlier, and this definitely wasn't the Angel she had fallen in love with, and she didn't like it one bit. She couldn't see his soul in his eyes anymore, all she could see… was a lust to kill. Buffy had finally spoken up, "Angel… why are you doing this? What's gotten into you?"

Angelus stepped over her way, he pulled her out of Spike's arm reach leaving him to stand there and bask in his rage. Angelus pulled Buffy close as he leaned over her, his face next to hers as he whispered in her ear, "I made myself free…" Buffy stumbled away her eyes still wide, but most of her expressions were blank, almost as if not knowing what to think as she mouthed the word 'no…' into the frigid night air. Angelus laughed and turned to Spike, "It looks like you've won the girl, but at least I am free…" Spike punched Angelus violently in the stomach making him stumble backwards. Angelus's hand went to his stomach as he glared at Spike as he took his ground once more, and he stepped forward and kicked Spike in the stomach.

Buffy watched in horror, she couldn't just let them fight to the death. She had to do something, so she thought, 'I've lost Angel once… and dealt… I can do it again.' She stood and looked around them noticing a picket fence. She ran to it and ripped a wooden piece away. She held it in her right hand, and watched Spike and Angel still fighting. She took in a deep breath, a bit unsure of doing this, especially to a man she once loved. But she also knew that she didn't have much time, she couldn't risk Angel hurting any of her friends, or even hurting Spike. She released her breath and took a step forward.

Spike noticed Buffy standing over them, then his eyes traveled to the wooden fence part. Spike rolled Angelus over onto his back and pinned him down, he then yelled for Buffy, "Buffy, come… hurry…" Angelus was struggling under Spike, but his struggling was soon to be to no avail. Buffy loomed over Angelus the steak held high, she jammed it through his heart tears traveling down her cheeks at what she had done, although she knew it to be for the best. Angelus looked at her with soft eyes and mumbled with his last breath, "Goodbye… lover…" With that his dust lay on the sidewalk scattered over the pavement. Buffy sunk to her knees tossing the steak to the ground putting her face in her hands. She had done it, she had killed Angel, but something inside her wanted to scream.

Spike crawled up beside her and took off his coat putting it over her back, he then put his am around her shoulders pulling her to his side. He stroked her hair with his other hand. He knew that that had to have been one of the hardest things she had ever done, but the hardest thing for him to grasp in his mind, is why she did it for him. He could tell it hurt her a good bit, but she knew as well as he did that she had to do it. He figured one day… marriage might come into their lives, but for now… he had to work to fill the giant hole in Buffy's heart that Angel left with her, and that wasn't going to be an easy job for him. He brought her head to his shoulder and whispered into her ear lightly and solemnly as to fit the mood, "I love you pet…"

Buffy clinged to him her arms wrapped around him tightly, and for one she finally responded with, "I-I l-love you too.." Spike tried to smile, but he found he couldn't while Buffy was like this. He rubbed her back lightly as she cried into his shoulder, her soft sobs carrying into the empty night.

In the end we find someone that is able to fill our holes in our hearts, but the truth is… no one can measure up to the first true love. The could do anything, but that first person would always have a piece of you that no one else could have. Truthfully speaking, a lot of people just look for that physical affection to fill the hole, but it is so much more than that. The hole in your heart can not be mended by physical affection, but by love its self.