Chapter One: Blind Behind the Wheel

Draco Malfoy awoke, early in the morning, the first day of his return to Hogwarts. He couldn't explain, even to himself, his thoughts from the previous night. Normally the return to school was marked by pleasure at seeing old friends, and distinct, almost aggressive, pleasure at being allowed to torment his fellow students once again. But not this time. His welcome feast last night had failed to satisfy his appetite, and the petty small talk of his fellow Slytherins almost turned his stomach.

"What's wrong with me?" he muttered under his breath. In the next bed, Crabbe rolled over restlessly.

The last thing he wanted was to wake them up, so he slipped on his robes and his cloak and headed outside. The air outside was chilled, the early September sun not yet being up, and the grass was covered in dew. He sat himself down on a rock next to the lake and surveyed the Hogwarts grounds.

It's so beautiful…

He was shocked at his own thoughts. Beauty. What use was it? Beauty did not matter in the world. All that mattered was money and power and control. Yet…

It is beautiful. The dew drops look like jewels, and it's so peaceful, with the moon almost hidden behind the horizon, and the birds chattering quietly in the Forbidden Forest. I'm so…relaxed.

It was a feeling Draco did not experience often. Relaxation. It was a luxury, and the Malfoy's millions were not enough to purchase it. His summer break had been devoted to studying the Dark Arts. After all, he turned seventeen relatively soon, an adult, able to take his own responsibility as a Death Eater beside his father.

Oh, I'm simply overjoyed…

He couldn't imagine the lies he would spew during the Christmas holidays, about how simply smashing it was to be a Death Eater and how he couldn't wait until he was out of Hogwarts and ready to assume his role.

No one had ever asked him what he wanted. They'd all just assumed he would follow in Daddy's footsteps and be a big bad Voldemort supporter, killing and laughing like it was no big deal.

His thoughts were interrupted as he noticed something over the lake…

…the sun. It was rising, flashing brilliant colors across the water, reflecting in its mirrors to double the splendor. Red, pink, orange… he gazed transfixed until the entire sphere was visible above the surface.

He sat there, staring into the sun, until he noticed other early risers start to come outside. The three Gryffindor chasers, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, and Alicia Spinnet were jogging around the lake, talking animatedly among themselves, all three with ponytails bouncing behind their heads. As they rounded a curve and noticed him beside the path, all three of their faces underwent a change, a hardening, and they seemed determined not to look in his direction.

Am I really that bad? Do they all avoid me this way? How could I not have noticed?

They passed by him, and a sarcastic jibe found its way to his lips, but went no further. For some reason he simply couldn't work up the energy to ridicule them that morning. He folded his knees up, curled his arms around them and sat in a ball watching the rest of the school come out the doors, walking and talking. He sat there for what seemed like hours, until they all went inside again for breakfast.

The sun gradually grew stronger, warming his freezing bones, until he found himself sweating. Taking off his cloak, he folded it gently, laying it next to the rock and laying on his back. The stone was smooth and warm against his body, and he closed his eyes, trying to soak up the warmth and save it for later.

Professor Snape entered the classroom as everyone was finding a seat.

"Welcome back. Those of you that are sitting before me have managed (somehow) to pass your OWLs. Therefore I expect the best of the best to be in this room, and I will not accept and slacking, any shoddy work, or any disturbances of any kind. This year will be an intense one, focused solely on NEWT level potions. If anyone thinks that he or she cannot handle this level of potion-making, please see me after class and we will discuss a schedule change."

Harry exchanged nervous glances with Ron. Both of them had achieved the lowest score that would allow them to continue in potions. Ron gulped and sat a little lower in his seat. Hermione, however, sat taller and listened intently to every word Snape was saying. The three of them had all decided that they would study to be Aurors, and so they would continue to be in all the same classes.

Their summer had been filled with more Order of the Pheonix business, staying at number 12 Grimmauld Place and working their tails off.

Coming back to school and facing extra hard potions with Snape seemed almost like a vacation.

"…so with that, I will leave you to your potion making."

He began to circle the room, correcting people and watching to make sure everyone was on task. His path took him frist to the side of the room where the Slytherins worked, so he could praise is pets a little before attacking the Gryffindors. He gentle reminded Pansy that newts tongue was green and that she had been adding rats tongue instead before heading for Malfoy's table. The haze in the room from all the potion ingredients prevented him from seeing his favorite student until he was right next to him.

Except-

"Where on Earth is Malfoy?" he barked at Crabbe and Goyle. They looked at him stupidly for a minute before Goyle answered. "He wasn't in the dormitory this morning."

"Well-" he began, trying o keep his temper with them, as he was their Head of House and had to appear to like the dimwitted gits-"did either of you HAPPAN to notice whether he was even on the train yesterday!"

His voice was so loud that the rest of the dungeon turned to look at him.

Crabbe looked terrified, but grunted, "Yes, sir. He was. He was with us at the feast last night, we saw him go to bed."

Snape turned quickly, flinging his robes behind him and headed for the classroom door. "Hermione, you're in charge."

The entire class sat there in stunned silence as he slammed the door behind him. He had left a student, a Gryffindor, in charge of his class.

Ron looked at Harry with extremely wide eyes. "It's just Malfoy!"

Severus walked so fast he was almost running to the Headmaster's office. At the entrance however, he ran into a rather amused looking Dumbledoore.

"I expect you've just noticed the absence of a certain 6th year?" the Headmaster said.

"uhm… yes. I have." He replied.

"Well, the giant squid has just informed me that one of students is asleep on the rock next to the water. Would you care to go retrieve him?"

Severus didn't even answer.

"Malfoy…Malfoy…"

Draco heard his name in his head, but the warmth and the sleep were so welcome he fought them quite hard.

"Malfoy…of dammit Drcao wake up!"

He recognized the voice of his Head of House and snapped his eyes open.

"Snape!" he gasped, trying to rub the sleep from his hair and fix his robes. "I'm…" but words failed him.

I'm so sick of making excuses and of being this way, Whatever happens will happen. If I get in trouble, so be it. That's all they see in me anyways. The bad kid. The future Death Eater. I'm so sick of it all.

"Look-" he began in a petulant voice. But the look on Snapes face stopped him.

"Are you ok?" he said. "Draco, I was worried!"

Worried? Why would anyone be worried about me? They always think I'm the one they should watch, I'm the trouble-maker. Worried…

Against his will, his eyes filled with tears and he buried his head in his arms so that Snape wouldn't see. But it was too late.

He slid his hand under Draco's chin, pulling it up so he was looking straight into those ice blue eyes. Tears streamed down his face like water, he couldn't stop them.

"Draco… What is it?"

End