AN I have no explanation for this, none at all, really, why is it that every foray I make into a new fandom starts with a sad fic?

Rating – PG? Deals with death indirectly

Summary – Why is it that should haves always come too late because no matter how hard you might wish otherwise they always do? Slash implied JD Not a Meridian Fic. Jack's POV Please review

Disclaimer – Don't own SG1, wish I owned SG1, Jack and Daniel in particular but what you gonna do? Maybe when I rule the world –plots-

Should Haves

Jack's POV

'There was nothing you could have done'

They're wrong this time, in nine cases out of ten the statement will be true and the person in question will be suffering from a guilt complex that's resulted from grief.

Not this time though.

Because no matter what way you look at it in the end I let him die.

I let him die.

My best friend and I let him die.

All because I refused to look at him, because I refused to see what I was always afraid I was going to find.

I knew he was getting tireder.

I knew he wasn't sleeping.

I knew he was working twice as hard as normal.

I knew he was getting sick.

And I knew he would never have gone to a doctor about it.

I knew and I should have said something. Made him go to a hospital, a doctor, a clinic… anything.

Instead I turned away, both literally and metaphorically, pushing him away deliberately and refusing to meet his eyes as I informed him time and time again that the work he was doing wasn't good enough, that he needed to try harder

I should have done something.

He was my best friend, I should have done something.

At the very least I should have said something and one thing in particular, three words that could have, in this case, saved a life if I had been willing to risk it and just look for once.

Look at what I was risking. Look at what I stood to gain. Look at him and see that there was something wrong, seen it when it was early enough for something to be done.

Why is it that 'should haves' always come too late?

'I love you.'

But no matter how hard I wish otherwise the words do come too late.

'I'm sorry.'

I know he can't hear me now.

End

AN Written in about 5 minutes which is probably why it's so weird. Please review all the same though