Previously:
When Lily got downstairs, the Marauders all stood up from where they were sitting on the couch and chairs and walked over to her.
"Shall we?" Sirius said, holding his elbow out to her, which she accepted with a wide smile.
"We shall." She said, taking James' elbow with her other hand.
"In that case," Remus said in a fake, extremely deep voice, "Onward men!" They all marched out of the common room, down to dinner.
Lily's dream was long forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Er..." Lily struggled as she held her wand to the piece of parchment.
"Come on, Lily. You can do it." Remus urged. She and Remus had been in the library for the past hour, trying to re-teach Lily how to do the levitating spell. She was getting frustrated and tired after all this studying.
It was two weeks since she'd been out of the hospital wing. Every day after class, she was expected to go back to the teachers she had had earlier that day for a more in-depth lesson. After those tutoring sessions, she was pulled into the ones with the Marauders. They would each teach her different subjects on a lower grade level.
They were each in charge of one subject. Sirius was teaching her Defense Against the Dark every Monday night, James was teaching her Transfiguration every Tuesday night, Peter, surprisingly, was her teaching Potions every Wednesday night. Tonight was Thursday, meaning Remus was teaching her Charms. They all worked together every Friday night to teach her Divination and Astrology and Ancient Runes.
This was all becoming too much for Lily. All work nonstop since she was back. She barely had a moment to herself. What's worse was that every night, she would never accomplish the spells they asked her to. She was beginning to doubt all of this stuff and herself.
Lily sighed, defeated, let go of her wand, and dropped her arm to her side. "This is too hard, Remus." she declared sadly. Then, she went on helplessly, "What am I thinking? I'm not cut out to be a witch!"
"Sure you are, Lily. You were the best witch of our year. Probably the best in this school." Remus argued.
"'Were' being the key word, Remus." Lily argued back, "I 'was' the best witch in this school. But-," She paused, then, shaking her head stubbornly, she said quietly, "I'm not anymore.
"Lily, please, just try again. I'm sure you'll get a hang of it." Remus begged.
"No, Remus." Lily said dejectedly, "The...what are they called...the OWLs are coming up in 3 months and I can't even do a simple spell. I'm already wasting everyone's time. Time which could be used for decent wizards such as yourselves to study for something that 'you' know you can actually pass." By this time, she was starting to grow hysterical.
"Lily," Remus tried again desperately, "Come on. You 'will' understand all of this soon. All it takes is a little practice."
Lily got up, her eyes lowered, feeling like a disgrace, "No, Remus." She sighed sadly, she looked up and Remus saw tears forming in the corners of her dull, lost green eyes, "Don't try to lift my spirits. You know as well as I know that this is just a waste of time." She paused, "Let's face it. Everyone knows that, without my memory, I am just a lost cause." Without another word, she rushed out of the Library and sprinted down the hall.
"Lily!" Remus called out as he jumped out of his seat and ran after her, leaving behind all their books and parchment. He saw her turn a corner from ahead. The second he turned the same corner, she was no where to be seen. He sighed softly to himself and turned back around, heading back to the library to pick up their stuff, then towards the Gryffindor tower. This was the first time he heard Lily ever argue with anyone, let alone him. He could tell he'd need a little more help on this one.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tears started to stream down Lily's face as she slowed down to a steady walk. She silently berated herself for acting so childish. After all, it wasn't Remus' or anyone else's fault she didn't remember anything. It's just the pressure was building up inside of her and she didn't know what to do about it.
She hated feeling like this. So empty and lost. It was eating her up inside. Sure, she kept up a happy face when she talked to different people in the hallway. They all told her how happy they were to have her back. But then, as soon as Lily politely asked who they were, there was no mistaking the look of confusion quickly replaced by pity and guilt.
That was another thing. The guilt. Why was everyone acting so shameful? Like they did something wrong. All these bottled up questions!
She was letting everyone down. She knew it. They expected her to be someone else. And no matter how much she tried...
Ugh! Lily brought her hands up to her head in frustration, practically pulling out her hair. Why won't the answers come out!
She collapsed right where she was, in the middle of the hall. Slowly, she pulled herself closer to the wall on the side. That was where she let it all out. She banged her feet on the floor occasionally as she sobbed heart- wrenchingly. She cried for her frustrations, for her guilt, for their pity, for her dead parents she didn't remember, for everyone that had to feel the same pain she felt.
After five minutes, Lily calmed down and steadied her breathing and heart rate. Crying wasn't going to get her anywhere. She wiped the tears away and looked around at her surroundings. Not recognizing anything, she started to panic a little. She jumped a little when she heard a noise from down the hall.
Startled, she dragged herself to her feet. Maybe it was someone who knew the way back to the Gryffindor common room. She walked a little ways towards the source of the noise. It sounded like footsteps. Unconsciously grabbing her locket and flower necklace, she made out a figure walking towards her.
"Hello?" she called out timidly. As the person walked nearer, Lily realized it was a boy around her age with greasy black hair and a hooked nose. He was wearing a sneer on his face until he saw her. His expression changed from hatefulness to surprise.
"Evans." He said simply. "What are you doing down here?"
"I-I got lost. Do you know the way to the Gryffindor tower?" she asked, trying to sound pleasant.
"You don't recognize me, do you?" he said, sounding more like a statement then a question. His cold, harsh voice stung her as his eyes seemed to pierce right through her soul.
Nevertheless, Lily smiled a little apologetically and said softly, "No, I'm sorry I don't. What's your name?"
He was about to answer when he got a weird look across his face. He then said in a more pleasant, yet sly voice, "I am Severus Snape...your boyfriend."
Lily felt as though the wind was knocked right out of her. Her boyfriend? This guy was her boyfriend?
"You're my boyfriend?" she asked incredulously.
Snape nodded smoothly, "Yes, of course, darling. We have been dating for two years."
"Well...uh, wow." Lily stuttered confused.
"Well, that doesn't matter." Snape cut in, smirking. "Would you like to go for a walk with me? I'm sure we have lots to catch up on."
Lily bit her lip. Something wasn't right about all this. A guy walks up to her and tells her that he is her boyfriend of two years. Why didn't he come to her sooner? Why wasn't he in the hospital wing with her?
She faintly noticed that he took her arm and guided her out a door to the coldness of winter. She didn't feel right. There was something bugging her.
They walked to a tree near the lake. That was when Lily thought about something abruptly. The Marauders had told her she didn't have a boyfriend the day she woke up and confused them for one of her boyfriends. Peter had told her that, specifically.
"Wait a minute." She said suspiciously to Snape, "My friends told me I didn't have a boyfriend."
Snape's pasty, sickly colored face seemed to pale. But only for a minute, "That doesn't mean you can't have one." He said in a dangerously low voice as he stepped closer to her. She back up until she felt the tree they were near blocking her path. He put both his hands on either side of her, preventing escape.
She widened her eyes in worry. Snape just smirked, seeing her nervousness. "What's wrong, Lily?" he asked. He leaned closer and Lily turned her head, closing her eyes firmly. He whispered in her ear, sending uneasy shudders up and down her spine, "Am I scaring you?"
"Leave me alone." Lily said, her voice shaking a little.
"And if I don't? What, will you hex me? Oh wait," he said quietly, mocking pity, "You can't, can you? Don't even have your wand with you, do you?"
"I don't need a wand for some things." Lily said quietly, right before she kneed him in a not-so-pleasant place. He gasped and doubled over, momentarily forgetting Lily, who was at attempting to get away. Unfortunately, Snape recovered quickly and grabbed her by the shoulders, moving her back to the tree.
"You never could hold your own, Evans. Always needing rescuing by your own personal saviors." He said coldly. She was about to reply when she was muffled by Snape kissing her forcefully. Lily almost gagged at the smell that rose to her nose. He smelled like grease and faintly of rotten eggs. Immediately, Lily showed great strength when she pushed his arms out of her way and held him back. She punched him in the face with all she could muster. His face whipped to the right, but he didn't fall. She hit him again, surprisingly harder and he fell back, clutching his nose, which had started to bleed at a rapid speed.
"Never underestimate me." She spat out, breathlessly, "That old Lily is gone. And until she returns, the new Lily is going to stay."
"Lily." She heard someone shout from a little ways away. She whirled around and saw all four Marauders heading her way. She breathed a sigh of relief. She ran and hugged James and Peter fiercely, leaving Remus and Sirius to pick Snape up off the ground.
"Holy crap, Lily! Did you do that?" Sirius asked, sounding impressed, seeing Snape's face.
Lily nodded to him, still trying to catch her breath.
"What the hell did you do to her?" James demanded aggressively to Snape.
Lily spoke though, "He kissed me. He-he tried to...to" She said faintly. Even though she didn't continue, the Marauders could guess what she was about to say
James, with narrowed eyes at Snape, spoke softly and gently to her, "It's alright, Lils. He can't do anything more to you."
She looked at Snape square in the face, noticing just how gruesome and gross he looked. And he kissed her! Her face paled and she placed a hand on her stomach and one over her mouth. "Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick."
"Remus, you and Peter take Lily up to the common room. Sirius and I have to take care of something." James said, not taking his eyes off Snape. Remus nodded and obliged with Peter as they made their way across the lawn with Lily.
~*~*~*~*~20 Minutes later~*~*~*~*~
Remus and Peter were in their dormitory, waiting for James and Sirius to return. They heard the running shower in their bathroom cease. Lily had been quite upset when they reached the common room. Not wanting to leave her alone, Remus and Peter took her up to their dormitory. She immediately asked if she could take a shower. The image of Snape's face and realizing what had happened moments before had plastered themselves into her mind. The two agreed and she told them she'd return soon.
She came back a minute later with her pajamas in hand and walked into their bathroom. Now, fifteen minutes later, Remus looked up from his book and Peter looked up from his Potions homework when they saw Lily emerge from the bathroom, sporting pink pajama bottoms with clouds and moons on them and a white tank top. She was toweling her auburn tresses with one of their towels. She looked tired, but smiled slightly at them.
"Thanks for letting me use your bathroom." She said softly.
"No problem, Lily." Remus said gently as she sat down on his bed. "You ok?" he asked.
Lily took a deep breath, but nodded after a minute, "Yeah, I think so."
Peter smiled suddenly and said, "You know, I think you may have broken his nose."
"No kidding, did you see all that blood. He looked like he was going to cry." Remus said, chuckling. Peter joined in. Lily smiled sheepishly, a faint blush creeping to her cheeks.
Just then, the door opened and James and Sirius walked in, looking pleased with themselves. Lily jumped up and rushed over to them.
"What happened?" she asked apprehensively.
"Let's just say that Snape may have trouble walking into a boy's bathroom again." Sirius said. Lily raised an eyebrow in question.
"He may need to use a 'girl's' bathroom from now on." James specified. Lily widened her eyes. Then, she started to laugh along with Remus and Peter.
Five minutes later, all five of them were all seated on the dormitory floor in a circle, Lily beside Sirius and James.
"How did you guys find me?" she asked after their laughs subsided.
"The Marauder's map." Sirius explained, holding out a torn up piece of parchment to her. Lily took it and stared at it, confused.
"Say the words, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'" Remus instructed.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Lily repeated. Immediately, to her astonishment, the parchment turned into a map of what appeared to be all of Hogwarts. Not only that, but there was little dots popping up all around the map, saying names such as McGonagall, or Dumbledore, or Frank Longbottom.
"This is amazing." Lily breathed out softly. The guys all exchanged amused glances when they saw her admiration.
"Lily," Remus started, sounding serious, "I'm sorry for pushing you to do the spell. I shouldn't have been so impatient."
"It's not your fault, Remus." Lily said, shaking her head, "I shouldn't have run off. I was acting like a baby," She looked at all of them and continued, "to all of you. I know you all are trying your hardest and sacrificing many hours of potential study time just for me."
"Lily, you have to understand," James started, "We don't think of it as a sacrifice. We only think of it as friends helping out another friend in need. Trust us; you would be doing the same thing if one of us were in your shoes."
Lily sighed, she knew he was right, "I know. It's just I feel so guilty. And frustrated," she went on, venting out all her aggravations to them. "I just feel like I can't do anything right. It's all becoming very stressful."
After a moment of thought, Remus said, "You know, I think I know what you need." She looked over at him, inquiringly, "Why don't we just have a stress-free rest of the week. No more tutoring sessions tonight or tomorrow. How about, instead, we all just have a sort of...what do you girls call it...slumber party." They all looked at him like he was mad. He decided to explain himself, "Hear me out. Ok, not a 'total' slumber party with makeovers and nail paintings" Lily snorted with laughter at the image that popped into her mind when he said that, "but, we could have all the junk food we can eat and I dunno..." Remus trailed off uncertainly.
"That's BRILLIANT, Moony." Sirius exclaimed, causing them to all jump at his outburst, "And we can also have 'Girl Talk'," he went on excitedly, "I also wanted to do that."
"Alright, I'm beginning to fear for Sirius' sanity." James announced with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, that sounds great." Lily said happily, "Even the...Girl Talk. But, isn't it against school rules for this?" she asked skeptically.
They simply shrugged, "When have we ever worried about rules. Plus, I think they would probably understand, in your case. We can just tell them that you...I dunno, forgot where your dormitory was." Sirius said nonchalantly. Lily nodded indifferently.
"Tonight or tomorrow?" she asked.
"Tomorrow's probably better with the weekend and all." Peter said. They all nodded and continued talking for a while.
"Oh I should get going." Lily said. "It's already eleven o'clock." So, they all said goodnight to her and she walked off to her own dormitory.
When she got there, she saw the three other girls sitting on one of their beds. They looked up when she came in. Cassandra just stared, an unreadable expression upon her face, at her while the other two went back to painting their toenails. A minute later, Cassandra looked down as well and continued with her toenails. Lily just shrugged at her behavior and walked mutely to her bed and fell asleep instantly, pulled into the same dream she had been having for the past two weeks, each dream going more and more into detail. She never knew that every time she had this dream, her necklaces would both light up. As well as the necklaces she had given Sirius, James, and Remus.
~*~*~*~Dream~*~*~*~
Whispering voices spoke out all around her. She was in a haze of white nothingness.
~"It's a gold locket, look, inside there's picture."~
~~~
~"What do you want with me, Voldemort?"~ Lily jerked her head around, trying wildly to find the source of the voice.
~"I want you dead."~
~"Why?"~
~"A prophesy. One I can terminate if I kill one of you seven."~
"You 'are' the flower." a soft melody voice called out from the haze.
~~~
~"I have a question. Where did I get this?"~
~"I got that for you for your twelfth birthday. You've never taken it off."~ "Sirius?" she whispered into the haze.
"The locket...the locket...it's the key..." the soft melody voice called out. "It's the key..."
And then everything went black.
As the haze started to clear and she was walking through the Gryffindor common room.
She was in her light green pajama bottoms with a matching white top. The locket and necklace she was wearing were glowing a soft pink. Someone was tugging at her, but she didn't notice. She walked out the portrait hole, as though in a trance. Lily walked down the hall.
She continued walking through halls and soon she walked into a door. Someone else was talking to her, their voice sounding pitiful and depressed, but Lily paid the person no attention. She walked straight up to a sink and said something she didn't recognize as being real words. Her voice sounded odd and cold. Suddenly, the sink-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily woke up to the sound of giggling. Soon, the door opened and shut, ceasing the giggles from her roommates. All thoughts of her dream left her as she got up and stretched.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The day passed quickly for Lily, who was giddy and excited for the slumber party tonight. She knew it wouldn't be like a real one, but it was a party nonetheless. And it was really sweet of the guys to do this for her.
So, walking out of Charms, the last subject of the day, Lily was practically bouncing up and down, oblivious from the stares she got from her male admirers in that class.
"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" She exclaimed.
James laughed at her antics. He kissed her forehead, and act that everyone was used to. No one had any clue about James' crush on Lily, and he intended to keep it that way. Though, he had a suspicion that Sirius may have some doubt about that. He had heard James' on some nights calling out the word 'Lily'. The only reason he didn't tease him about it was because he knew that if he was wrong about his assumptions, James would be furious at him for thinking that about he and his best girl friend.
"So what's the plan? Do we start it right now? It seems a little early for that, don't you think." Lily said all this quickly.
Remus laughed and said, "How about we go down to the lake and just hang out down there for now. It's pretty nice outside for the first time this year." And that was true. It was the first sunny, warm day since winter started. All day long, kids looked longingly out the windows of their classrooms, wishing they could be out there instead of inside.
So the five agreed and they walked out into the warm sunlight.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Around six o'clock, they all went inside due to the sun setting. They decided not to go to dinner; they would grab some other stuff later on during the night and pig out.
"Lily, how about you grab some clothes and pj's and stuff and meet us up in the dormitory around 6:30." Remus suggested. Lily nodded and walked up to her own dormitory. When she got there, she noticed Cassandra there with the two others. They were flipping through fashion magazines and barely looked up when she entered the room.
Lily didn't really mind. She simply pulled out a duffle bag she found in her trunk and began to sort through all her clothes, wondering what she would be wearing the next day. Cassandra glanced up from her magazine and asked in a semi-civilized voice, "Where are you going?"
The questioned surprised Lily, who had thought nobody would even notice what she was doing, let alone talk to her, "Oh, a slumber party." She answered politely with a small smile.
That seemed to be the end of an almost-conversation. Cassandra looked back down at her magazine without another word and began to read. Lily shrugged and began to pack once again. Thirty minutes later, she walked up to the boys' 5th year dormitory and knocked.
Remus answered the door. "Lily, come on in." he widened it and let her enter. She saw that they had decorated the room. A big banner was hanging from the ceiling that said, 'Lily's Cheering Up Slumber Party'. Lily felt her heart swell up at that. Her friends were so great!
"You guyssss." Lily said, touched. She hugged them each, "You guys are the best." she announced.
"Anything for our Flower." Remus said affectionately.
"Enough of this sap." Sirius said after a moment, "Pretty soon we're gonna start doing makeovers and painting each other's toenails if we keep this up." He joked. Lily laughed and set her stuff down.
"What do we do first?" she asked as they all sat down on the floor in a circle like they did last night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily laughed and said, "You really did that?!"
"Hey, it was for the good of the Marauders." Sirius said, mock indignantly, "Anyone of you guys would have done it for the rest of us." They were all sitting in a circle still, in their pajamas. Remus had a white muscle shirt on with midnight blue pajama pants, Peter had a large T-shirt and red pajama pants on. Sirius and James had no shirts on (A/N- *drools*) and James had black cotton pajama pants on and Sirius had grey running pants on. Lily had on a white tank top with matching pale green pajama bottoms.
"I dunno Padfoot." James started, "I think you may be the only one crazy and have the guts to actually sleep under Snape's bed. All for a prank, too."
Sirius narrowed his eyes, faking anger, "Hey, if I didn't do that, I would have been caught and the whole plan would have backfired."
That caused everyone, including Sirius, to burst out laughing once again. Everyone heard Peter's stomach growl loudly and laugh more.
"Oh wow. It's already 11:45." Lily said, seeing her watch.
"I'm real hungry." Peter moaned, clutching his stomach.
"Me too." Sirius agreed. The rest all said the same things.
"Padfoot and I will go down to the kitchens and stock up on food. We'll be back quick." James said as he and Sirius snuck off under James' invisibility cloak.
Lily, Remus, and Peter just sat where they were and talked and joked around, waiting for them to return.
"Yeah, then they said-," Remus said, but stopped abruptly when Lily's watch started to play a little tune. It was 12 midnight.
But that wasn't what stopped Remus from finishing his story.
"Lily? You alright?" Peter asked, noticing what Remus was looking at.
Lily's eyes looked sort of dazed. She sat up straight, stiff as a board, with a blank expression on her face. Remus and Peter saw her two necklaces starting to glow. And, to Remus' astonishment, his as well. Peter looked like he was ready to pee his pants in fright.
"What's going on?" he squeaked.
Remus, with his mouth hanging open, just shook his head confused. "I don't know. Lily?"
She didn't answer. She didn't even look like she had heard him. Suddenly, she stood up like a robot. Remus and Peter exchanged confused looks and stood up as well.
"Uh, Lily? Where are you going?" Remus asked, not really expecting an answer. And not to his surprise, she just walked to the door and started to walk down the stairs. Remus followed and Peter stayed behind.
When she reached the common room, she walked towards the entrance hole. Remus prayed that Sirius and James walk through there at that moment. But, of course, they didn't.
He started to tug on her shirt, trying to get her to stop. She paid him no attention as she walked out the portrait hole. Remus followed her though and tried to stop her again.
"Lily, I'm going to get the headmaster for help." He said, almost warningly. That caused her to stop abruptly and turn slowly around. Remus felt his heart speed up when he saw the vacant expression and hollow eyes on her face.
Without a word, Lily raised her hand slightly and made a circle movement with the palm of her hand. Remus fell asleep instantly in front of the sleeping portrait of the fat lady.
Lily turned back around, unfazed by anything, and continued walking down halls. She soon reached a door and pushed it open. She was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and the latter chose that moment to pop up from one of the stalls.
"Come to make fun of poor Moaning Myrtle?" she whimpered.
When Lily didn't reply, she got angry and said, "Oh, I suppose that since I am dead, it is alright to ignore me and act like I am not there. Just like when I was alive."
Lily walked up to one of the sinks in the middle of the room and said something to it. Her voice was hard and cold, sounding like a snake's slither. Moaning Myrtle widened her eyes and flew back into her toilet when she saw the stalls begin to move.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N- well, that is the end of that chapter. I hope you all liked it. Please review! To answer 'reas chen's question, I kind of made a little error on that. It's really supposed to be September 1st, not October first. I'm so sorry about the mix-up.
*The sink lowered and then there was a big hole in the ground.
*"Sirius, you sure there's anything left? I think you may have eaten
all of Honeydukes."
*"James, your necklace is glowing!"
*"Huh? Lily...where's Lily?"
*"Let's check the map."
*"Peter, go get Dumbledore!"
*"Come my dear. Right over here."
*"Huh? What? Where am I? Who are you?"
*"Do you want your memory back, my dear."
*"You're...you're Voldemort, aren't you?"
*"Put the locket in the bowl!"
*She then ran forward and knocked the bowl to the ground.
AND to JerseyGirl03, Evenstar, and bebe-chrissy, Lily will be getting her memory back very soon! No worries!
When Lily got downstairs, the Marauders all stood up from where they were sitting on the couch and chairs and walked over to her.
"Shall we?" Sirius said, holding his elbow out to her, which she accepted with a wide smile.
"We shall." She said, taking James' elbow with her other hand.
"In that case," Remus said in a fake, extremely deep voice, "Onward men!" They all marched out of the common room, down to dinner.
Lily's dream was long forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Er..." Lily struggled as she held her wand to the piece of parchment.
"Come on, Lily. You can do it." Remus urged. She and Remus had been in the library for the past hour, trying to re-teach Lily how to do the levitating spell. She was getting frustrated and tired after all this studying.
It was two weeks since she'd been out of the hospital wing. Every day after class, she was expected to go back to the teachers she had had earlier that day for a more in-depth lesson. After those tutoring sessions, she was pulled into the ones with the Marauders. They would each teach her different subjects on a lower grade level.
They were each in charge of one subject. Sirius was teaching her Defense Against the Dark every Monday night, James was teaching her Transfiguration every Tuesday night, Peter, surprisingly, was her teaching Potions every Wednesday night. Tonight was Thursday, meaning Remus was teaching her Charms. They all worked together every Friday night to teach her Divination and Astrology and Ancient Runes.
This was all becoming too much for Lily. All work nonstop since she was back. She barely had a moment to herself. What's worse was that every night, she would never accomplish the spells they asked her to. She was beginning to doubt all of this stuff and herself.
Lily sighed, defeated, let go of her wand, and dropped her arm to her side. "This is too hard, Remus." she declared sadly. Then, she went on helplessly, "What am I thinking? I'm not cut out to be a witch!"
"Sure you are, Lily. You were the best witch of our year. Probably the best in this school." Remus argued.
"'Were' being the key word, Remus." Lily argued back, "I 'was' the best witch in this school. But-," She paused, then, shaking her head stubbornly, she said quietly, "I'm not anymore.
"Lily, please, just try again. I'm sure you'll get a hang of it." Remus begged.
"No, Remus." Lily said dejectedly, "The...what are they called...the OWLs are coming up in 3 months and I can't even do a simple spell. I'm already wasting everyone's time. Time which could be used for decent wizards such as yourselves to study for something that 'you' know you can actually pass." By this time, she was starting to grow hysterical.
"Lily," Remus tried again desperately, "Come on. You 'will' understand all of this soon. All it takes is a little practice."
Lily got up, her eyes lowered, feeling like a disgrace, "No, Remus." She sighed sadly, she looked up and Remus saw tears forming in the corners of her dull, lost green eyes, "Don't try to lift my spirits. You know as well as I know that this is just a waste of time." She paused, "Let's face it. Everyone knows that, without my memory, I am just a lost cause." Without another word, she rushed out of the Library and sprinted down the hall.
"Lily!" Remus called out as he jumped out of his seat and ran after her, leaving behind all their books and parchment. He saw her turn a corner from ahead. The second he turned the same corner, she was no where to be seen. He sighed softly to himself and turned back around, heading back to the library to pick up their stuff, then towards the Gryffindor tower. This was the first time he heard Lily ever argue with anyone, let alone him. He could tell he'd need a little more help on this one.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tears started to stream down Lily's face as she slowed down to a steady walk. She silently berated herself for acting so childish. After all, it wasn't Remus' or anyone else's fault she didn't remember anything. It's just the pressure was building up inside of her and she didn't know what to do about it.
She hated feeling like this. So empty and lost. It was eating her up inside. Sure, she kept up a happy face when she talked to different people in the hallway. They all told her how happy they were to have her back. But then, as soon as Lily politely asked who they were, there was no mistaking the look of confusion quickly replaced by pity and guilt.
That was another thing. The guilt. Why was everyone acting so shameful? Like they did something wrong. All these bottled up questions!
She was letting everyone down. She knew it. They expected her to be someone else. And no matter how much she tried...
Ugh! Lily brought her hands up to her head in frustration, practically pulling out her hair. Why won't the answers come out!
She collapsed right where she was, in the middle of the hall. Slowly, she pulled herself closer to the wall on the side. That was where she let it all out. She banged her feet on the floor occasionally as she sobbed heart- wrenchingly. She cried for her frustrations, for her guilt, for their pity, for her dead parents she didn't remember, for everyone that had to feel the same pain she felt.
After five minutes, Lily calmed down and steadied her breathing and heart rate. Crying wasn't going to get her anywhere. She wiped the tears away and looked around at her surroundings. Not recognizing anything, she started to panic a little. She jumped a little when she heard a noise from down the hall.
Startled, she dragged herself to her feet. Maybe it was someone who knew the way back to the Gryffindor common room. She walked a little ways towards the source of the noise. It sounded like footsteps. Unconsciously grabbing her locket and flower necklace, she made out a figure walking towards her.
"Hello?" she called out timidly. As the person walked nearer, Lily realized it was a boy around her age with greasy black hair and a hooked nose. He was wearing a sneer on his face until he saw her. His expression changed from hatefulness to surprise.
"Evans." He said simply. "What are you doing down here?"
"I-I got lost. Do you know the way to the Gryffindor tower?" she asked, trying to sound pleasant.
"You don't recognize me, do you?" he said, sounding more like a statement then a question. His cold, harsh voice stung her as his eyes seemed to pierce right through her soul.
Nevertheless, Lily smiled a little apologetically and said softly, "No, I'm sorry I don't. What's your name?"
He was about to answer when he got a weird look across his face. He then said in a more pleasant, yet sly voice, "I am Severus Snape...your boyfriend."
Lily felt as though the wind was knocked right out of her. Her boyfriend? This guy was her boyfriend?
"You're my boyfriend?" she asked incredulously.
Snape nodded smoothly, "Yes, of course, darling. We have been dating for two years."
"Well...uh, wow." Lily stuttered confused.
"Well, that doesn't matter." Snape cut in, smirking. "Would you like to go for a walk with me? I'm sure we have lots to catch up on."
Lily bit her lip. Something wasn't right about all this. A guy walks up to her and tells her that he is her boyfriend of two years. Why didn't he come to her sooner? Why wasn't he in the hospital wing with her?
She faintly noticed that he took her arm and guided her out a door to the coldness of winter. She didn't feel right. There was something bugging her.
They walked to a tree near the lake. That was when Lily thought about something abruptly. The Marauders had told her she didn't have a boyfriend the day she woke up and confused them for one of her boyfriends. Peter had told her that, specifically.
"Wait a minute." She said suspiciously to Snape, "My friends told me I didn't have a boyfriend."
Snape's pasty, sickly colored face seemed to pale. But only for a minute, "That doesn't mean you can't have one." He said in a dangerously low voice as he stepped closer to her. She back up until she felt the tree they were near blocking her path. He put both his hands on either side of her, preventing escape.
She widened her eyes in worry. Snape just smirked, seeing her nervousness. "What's wrong, Lily?" he asked. He leaned closer and Lily turned her head, closing her eyes firmly. He whispered in her ear, sending uneasy shudders up and down her spine, "Am I scaring you?"
"Leave me alone." Lily said, her voice shaking a little.
"And if I don't? What, will you hex me? Oh wait," he said quietly, mocking pity, "You can't, can you? Don't even have your wand with you, do you?"
"I don't need a wand for some things." Lily said quietly, right before she kneed him in a not-so-pleasant place. He gasped and doubled over, momentarily forgetting Lily, who was at attempting to get away. Unfortunately, Snape recovered quickly and grabbed her by the shoulders, moving her back to the tree.
"You never could hold your own, Evans. Always needing rescuing by your own personal saviors." He said coldly. She was about to reply when she was muffled by Snape kissing her forcefully. Lily almost gagged at the smell that rose to her nose. He smelled like grease and faintly of rotten eggs. Immediately, Lily showed great strength when she pushed his arms out of her way and held him back. She punched him in the face with all she could muster. His face whipped to the right, but he didn't fall. She hit him again, surprisingly harder and he fell back, clutching his nose, which had started to bleed at a rapid speed.
"Never underestimate me." She spat out, breathlessly, "That old Lily is gone. And until she returns, the new Lily is going to stay."
"Lily." She heard someone shout from a little ways away. She whirled around and saw all four Marauders heading her way. She breathed a sigh of relief. She ran and hugged James and Peter fiercely, leaving Remus and Sirius to pick Snape up off the ground.
"Holy crap, Lily! Did you do that?" Sirius asked, sounding impressed, seeing Snape's face.
Lily nodded to him, still trying to catch her breath.
"What the hell did you do to her?" James demanded aggressively to Snape.
Lily spoke though, "He kissed me. He-he tried to...to" She said faintly. Even though she didn't continue, the Marauders could guess what she was about to say
James, with narrowed eyes at Snape, spoke softly and gently to her, "It's alright, Lils. He can't do anything more to you."
She looked at Snape square in the face, noticing just how gruesome and gross he looked. And he kissed her! Her face paled and she placed a hand on her stomach and one over her mouth. "Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick."
"Remus, you and Peter take Lily up to the common room. Sirius and I have to take care of something." James said, not taking his eyes off Snape. Remus nodded and obliged with Peter as they made their way across the lawn with Lily.
~*~*~*~*~20 Minutes later~*~*~*~*~
Remus and Peter were in their dormitory, waiting for James and Sirius to return. They heard the running shower in their bathroom cease. Lily had been quite upset when they reached the common room. Not wanting to leave her alone, Remus and Peter took her up to their dormitory. She immediately asked if she could take a shower. The image of Snape's face and realizing what had happened moments before had plastered themselves into her mind. The two agreed and she told them she'd return soon.
She came back a minute later with her pajamas in hand and walked into their bathroom. Now, fifteen minutes later, Remus looked up from his book and Peter looked up from his Potions homework when they saw Lily emerge from the bathroom, sporting pink pajama bottoms with clouds and moons on them and a white tank top. She was toweling her auburn tresses with one of their towels. She looked tired, but smiled slightly at them.
"Thanks for letting me use your bathroom." She said softly.
"No problem, Lily." Remus said gently as she sat down on his bed. "You ok?" he asked.
Lily took a deep breath, but nodded after a minute, "Yeah, I think so."
Peter smiled suddenly and said, "You know, I think you may have broken his nose."
"No kidding, did you see all that blood. He looked like he was going to cry." Remus said, chuckling. Peter joined in. Lily smiled sheepishly, a faint blush creeping to her cheeks.
Just then, the door opened and James and Sirius walked in, looking pleased with themselves. Lily jumped up and rushed over to them.
"What happened?" she asked apprehensively.
"Let's just say that Snape may have trouble walking into a boy's bathroom again." Sirius said. Lily raised an eyebrow in question.
"He may need to use a 'girl's' bathroom from now on." James specified. Lily widened her eyes. Then, she started to laugh along with Remus and Peter.
Five minutes later, all five of them were all seated on the dormitory floor in a circle, Lily beside Sirius and James.
"How did you guys find me?" she asked after their laughs subsided.
"The Marauder's map." Sirius explained, holding out a torn up piece of parchment to her. Lily took it and stared at it, confused.
"Say the words, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'" Remus instructed.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Lily repeated. Immediately, to her astonishment, the parchment turned into a map of what appeared to be all of Hogwarts. Not only that, but there was little dots popping up all around the map, saying names such as McGonagall, or Dumbledore, or Frank Longbottom.
"This is amazing." Lily breathed out softly. The guys all exchanged amused glances when they saw her admiration.
"Lily," Remus started, sounding serious, "I'm sorry for pushing you to do the spell. I shouldn't have been so impatient."
"It's not your fault, Remus." Lily said, shaking her head, "I shouldn't have run off. I was acting like a baby," She looked at all of them and continued, "to all of you. I know you all are trying your hardest and sacrificing many hours of potential study time just for me."
"Lily, you have to understand," James started, "We don't think of it as a sacrifice. We only think of it as friends helping out another friend in need. Trust us; you would be doing the same thing if one of us were in your shoes."
Lily sighed, she knew he was right, "I know. It's just I feel so guilty. And frustrated," she went on, venting out all her aggravations to them. "I just feel like I can't do anything right. It's all becoming very stressful."
After a moment of thought, Remus said, "You know, I think I know what you need." She looked over at him, inquiringly, "Why don't we just have a stress-free rest of the week. No more tutoring sessions tonight or tomorrow. How about, instead, we all just have a sort of...what do you girls call it...slumber party." They all looked at him like he was mad. He decided to explain himself, "Hear me out. Ok, not a 'total' slumber party with makeovers and nail paintings" Lily snorted with laughter at the image that popped into her mind when he said that, "but, we could have all the junk food we can eat and I dunno..." Remus trailed off uncertainly.
"That's BRILLIANT, Moony." Sirius exclaimed, causing them to all jump at his outburst, "And we can also have 'Girl Talk'," he went on excitedly, "I also wanted to do that."
"Alright, I'm beginning to fear for Sirius' sanity." James announced with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, that sounds great." Lily said happily, "Even the...Girl Talk. But, isn't it against school rules for this?" she asked skeptically.
They simply shrugged, "When have we ever worried about rules. Plus, I think they would probably understand, in your case. We can just tell them that you...I dunno, forgot where your dormitory was." Sirius said nonchalantly. Lily nodded indifferently.
"Tonight or tomorrow?" she asked.
"Tomorrow's probably better with the weekend and all." Peter said. They all nodded and continued talking for a while.
"Oh I should get going." Lily said. "It's already eleven o'clock." So, they all said goodnight to her and she walked off to her own dormitory.
When she got there, she saw the three other girls sitting on one of their beds. They looked up when she came in. Cassandra just stared, an unreadable expression upon her face, at her while the other two went back to painting their toenails. A minute later, Cassandra looked down as well and continued with her toenails. Lily just shrugged at her behavior and walked mutely to her bed and fell asleep instantly, pulled into the same dream she had been having for the past two weeks, each dream going more and more into detail. She never knew that every time she had this dream, her necklaces would both light up. As well as the necklaces she had given Sirius, James, and Remus.
~*~*~*~Dream~*~*~*~
Whispering voices spoke out all around her. She was in a haze of white nothingness.
~"It's a gold locket, look, inside there's picture."~
~~~
~"What do you want with me, Voldemort?"~ Lily jerked her head around, trying wildly to find the source of the voice.
~"I want you dead."~
~"Why?"~
~"A prophesy. One I can terminate if I kill one of you seven."~
"You 'are' the flower." a soft melody voice called out from the haze.
~~~
~"I have a question. Where did I get this?"~
~"I got that for you for your twelfth birthday. You've never taken it off."~ "Sirius?" she whispered into the haze.
"The locket...the locket...it's the key..." the soft melody voice called out. "It's the key..."
And then everything went black.
As the haze started to clear and she was walking through the Gryffindor common room.
She was in her light green pajama bottoms with a matching white top. The locket and necklace she was wearing were glowing a soft pink. Someone was tugging at her, but she didn't notice. She walked out the portrait hole, as though in a trance. Lily walked down the hall.
She continued walking through halls and soon she walked into a door. Someone else was talking to her, their voice sounding pitiful and depressed, but Lily paid the person no attention. She walked straight up to a sink and said something she didn't recognize as being real words. Her voice sounded odd and cold. Suddenly, the sink-
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily woke up to the sound of giggling. Soon, the door opened and shut, ceasing the giggles from her roommates. All thoughts of her dream left her as she got up and stretched.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The day passed quickly for Lily, who was giddy and excited for the slumber party tonight. She knew it wouldn't be like a real one, but it was a party nonetheless. And it was really sweet of the guys to do this for her.
So, walking out of Charms, the last subject of the day, Lily was practically bouncing up and down, oblivious from the stares she got from her male admirers in that class.
"Oh, this is going to be so much fun!" She exclaimed.
James laughed at her antics. He kissed her forehead, and act that everyone was used to. No one had any clue about James' crush on Lily, and he intended to keep it that way. Though, he had a suspicion that Sirius may have some doubt about that. He had heard James' on some nights calling out the word 'Lily'. The only reason he didn't tease him about it was because he knew that if he was wrong about his assumptions, James would be furious at him for thinking that about he and his best girl friend.
"So what's the plan? Do we start it right now? It seems a little early for that, don't you think." Lily said all this quickly.
Remus laughed and said, "How about we go down to the lake and just hang out down there for now. It's pretty nice outside for the first time this year." And that was true. It was the first sunny, warm day since winter started. All day long, kids looked longingly out the windows of their classrooms, wishing they could be out there instead of inside.
So the five agreed and they walked out into the warm sunlight.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Around six o'clock, they all went inside due to the sun setting. They decided not to go to dinner; they would grab some other stuff later on during the night and pig out.
"Lily, how about you grab some clothes and pj's and stuff and meet us up in the dormitory around 6:30." Remus suggested. Lily nodded and walked up to her own dormitory. When she got there, she noticed Cassandra there with the two others. They were flipping through fashion magazines and barely looked up when she entered the room.
Lily didn't really mind. She simply pulled out a duffle bag she found in her trunk and began to sort through all her clothes, wondering what she would be wearing the next day. Cassandra glanced up from her magazine and asked in a semi-civilized voice, "Where are you going?"
The questioned surprised Lily, who had thought nobody would even notice what she was doing, let alone talk to her, "Oh, a slumber party." She answered politely with a small smile.
That seemed to be the end of an almost-conversation. Cassandra looked back down at her magazine without another word and began to read. Lily shrugged and began to pack once again. Thirty minutes later, she walked up to the boys' 5th year dormitory and knocked.
Remus answered the door. "Lily, come on in." he widened it and let her enter. She saw that they had decorated the room. A big banner was hanging from the ceiling that said, 'Lily's Cheering Up Slumber Party'. Lily felt her heart swell up at that. Her friends were so great!
"You guyssss." Lily said, touched. She hugged them each, "You guys are the best." she announced.
"Anything for our Flower." Remus said affectionately.
"Enough of this sap." Sirius said after a moment, "Pretty soon we're gonna start doing makeovers and painting each other's toenails if we keep this up." He joked. Lily laughed and set her stuff down.
"What do we do first?" she asked as they all sat down on the floor in a circle like they did last night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lily laughed and said, "You really did that?!"
"Hey, it was for the good of the Marauders." Sirius said, mock indignantly, "Anyone of you guys would have done it for the rest of us." They were all sitting in a circle still, in their pajamas. Remus had a white muscle shirt on with midnight blue pajama pants, Peter had a large T-shirt and red pajama pants on. Sirius and James had no shirts on (A/N- *drools*) and James had black cotton pajama pants on and Sirius had grey running pants on. Lily had on a white tank top with matching pale green pajama bottoms.
"I dunno Padfoot." James started, "I think you may be the only one crazy and have the guts to actually sleep under Snape's bed. All for a prank, too."
Sirius narrowed his eyes, faking anger, "Hey, if I didn't do that, I would have been caught and the whole plan would have backfired."
That caused everyone, including Sirius, to burst out laughing once again. Everyone heard Peter's stomach growl loudly and laugh more.
"Oh wow. It's already 11:45." Lily said, seeing her watch.
"I'm real hungry." Peter moaned, clutching his stomach.
"Me too." Sirius agreed. The rest all said the same things.
"Padfoot and I will go down to the kitchens and stock up on food. We'll be back quick." James said as he and Sirius snuck off under James' invisibility cloak.
Lily, Remus, and Peter just sat where they were and talked and joked around, waiting for them to return.
"Yeah, then they said-," Remus said, but stopped abruptly when Lily's watch started to play a little tune. It was 12 midnight.
But that wasn't what stopped Remus from finishing his story.
"Lily? You alright?" Peter asked, noticing what Remus was looking at.
Lily's eyes looked sort of dazed. She sat up straight, stiff as a board, with a blank expression on her face. Remus and Peter saw her two necklaces starting to glow. And, to Remus' astonishment, his as well. Peter looked like he was ready to pee his pants in fright.
"What's going on?" he squeaked.
Remus, with his mouth hanging open, just shook his head confused. "I don't know. Lily?"
She didn't answer. She didn't even look like she had heard him. Suddenly, she stood up like a robot. Remus and Peter exchanged confused looks and stood up as well.
"Uh, Lily? Where are you going?" Remus asked, not really expecting an answer. And not to his surprise, she just walked to the door and started to walk down the stairs. Remus followed and Peter stayed behind.
When she reached the common room, she walked towards the entrance hole. Remus prayed that Sirius and James walk through there at that moment. But, of course, they didn't.
He started to tug on her shirt, trying to get her to stop. She paid him no attention as she walked out the portrait hole. Remus followed her though and tried to stop her again.
"Lily, I'm going to get the headmaster for help." He said, almost warningly. That caused her to stop abruptly and turn slowly around. Remus felt his heart speed up when he saw the vacant expression and hollow eyes on her face.
Without a word, Lily raised her hand slightly and made a circle movement with the palm of her hand. Remus fell asleep instantly in front of the sleeping portrait of the fat lady.
Lily turned back around, unfazed by anything, and continued walking down halls. She soon reached a door and pushed it open. She was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and the latter chose that moment to pop up from one of the stalls.
"Come to make fun of poor Moaning Myrtle?" she whimpered.
When Lily didn't reply, she got angry and said, "Oh, I suppose that since I am dead, it is alright to ignore me and act like I am not there. Just like when I was alive."
Lily walked up to one of the sinks in the middle of the room and said something to it. Her voice was hard and cold, sounding like a snake's slither. Moaning Myrtle widened her eyes and flew back into her toilet when she saw the stalls begin to move.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N- well, that is the end of that chapter. I hope you all liked it. Please review! To answer 'reas chen's question, I kind of made a little error on that. It's really supposed to be September 1st, not October first. I'm so sorry about the mix-up.
*The sink lowered and then there was a big hole in the ground.
*"Sirius, you sure there's anything left? I think you may have eaten
all of Honeydukes."
*"James, your necklace is glowing!"
*"Huh? Lily...where's Lily?"
*"Let's check the map."
*"Peter, go get Dumbledore!"
*"Come my dear. Right over here."
*"Huh? What? Where am I? Who are you?"
*"Do you want your memory back, my dear."
*"You're...you're Voldemort, aren't you?"
*"Put the locket in the bowl!"
*She then ran forward and knocked the bowl to the ground.
AND to JerseyGirl03, Evenstar, and bebe-chrissy, Lily will be getting her memory back very soon! No worries!