Title: Little Things IV- Disgusting
Author: Celeste
Universe: Weiss Kreuz
Theme: N/A
Rating: PG-13 (mentions of yaoi)
Pairing: RanxKen
Spoilers: Nope
Word Count: 1,935
Time: 2:48 (geezus), minor edits because I'm especially lazy this weekend so there.
Summary: Omi finds the whole situation rather disgusting.
Dedication: Christine and JaB cuz they draw the yaoi goods for me lately. XD
A/N: Okay, I told myself I was going to write Bleach angst, because it's kind of screaming for it lately, but then I got distracted by WK and surprisingly enough, got a few ideas that the majority of will probably never come into being, but at least I got this one out of the way, right? Right? Yeah. Sorry. --;; But it's kind of OOC because I really don't write Omi that much…figured it was worth a shot in either case. Bleh. And yeah, this one's a bit angstier than the others because I'm just in that mood and everything I write lately is kind of falling flat so angst kind of lends itself to that, I figure. I just better not try anything humorous until this strange, listless funk passes. --;;
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.

It's really disgusting.

Though Omi can't really blame them for it because really, they're not doing it on purpose. It isn't an attempt to flaunt anything in anyone's face or to validate their relationship in their own eyes via those of others. He knows Ran and Ken better than to believe they'd ever try something like that.

Rather, it's the fact that they get so swept up in one another and time quickly passes from them being alone to Omi coming back from school or something of the sort, and the privacy they thought they had would be gone without their knowing.

And it isn't like the youngest member of the team has ever walked in on them doing inappropriate things to one another in the group's public living spaces or anything. He is certain Ran and Ken have more respect for the other two living with them than to try anything like that.

So it isn't really a big deal, when he lets himself think about it properly.

But there's just an instinct inside of him that kicks in when he sees it, when he turns a corner and there they are, together. Ran with a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his face as he looks down at Ken with eyes full of amazed adoration and Ken is looking back up at him with one of those big, guileless grins of his, his laughter and voice unchecked as they murmur whatever it is that is so precious important that they must do it in the middle of a corridor, or right in the kitchen, or on the couch, or in the store, or the training room or…

Omi can't help but feel a little disgusted by it all.

He asks Yohji about it sometimes, when he wants to not be the only one feeling that strange sensation of having looked in on something very intimate and very beautiful that he has no business being a part of.

Yohji laughs at him and ruffles his hair when he asks about it, when he inquires whether the oldest member of Weiss feels that the other two are a little bit disgusting sometimes.

And the older blonde winks and says that they're indeed disgusting, so in love and not bothering to even try and hide it anymore, not since that one forced confrontation when the two of them had had to put the cards they'd been holding tightly against their chests on the table for everyone to see.

It was like a floodgate, Yohji says, with a rueful smile. It was like a floodgate opened and ever since then those two wacky kids were too busy drowning in one another to realize that yeah, they were being a little bit disgusting.

And then the blonde chuckles warmly, a far-off look in his eye that tells Omi he's thinking about someone in the past that made him act just as disgusting, and the younger assassin shakes his head and slips away and inexplicably hopes that one day all people will be able to find that one person that makes them disgusting to everyone else, because if the sparkles in Ran and Ken's eyes are any indication, it is a wonderful place to be.

Even if Omi thinks it's all rather disgusting.

He's home from another grueling day of work at the shop this fine summer day, but before he can even start to ascend the stairs to his room he hears it, and frowning, tells himself that it really can't be helped because their common areas are small and really, he should just be happy for them because he knows almost as well as they do what sort of hellish path it took to bring them this far together.

But even when he tells himself this as he steps through the doorway into the living room, he is inundated by the atmosphere of romantic love the other two seem to bring with them constantly nowadays, and he feels slightly ill.

He makes a small noise in his throat and on hearing it, Ran looks up from the book he was quietly reading aloud to Ken over there on the couch, the brunette enthralled by the older man's voice while Ran indulged his lover in voicing the story even though he knew the athlete was doing it more to listen to him speak than to pay attention to the novel.

They aren't doing anything gratuitous, their shoulders barely brushing as they sit together on the couch, but just like always, Omi feels as if he's walked in on them during a deeply intimate moment.

The little blonde flushes slightly and stammers an apology before quickly heading to the stairs, ignoring the slightly puzzled expressions that follow him from his teammates' gazes as he does.

Omi is a little bit disgusted, though more with himself than them because he knows he is being foolish. They were simply reading together, and Omi, oddly enough, feels as though he walked in on them in the middle of making love and stared at them rudely through the whole thing.

He gets that feeling a lot it seems, and by no fault of theirs, because they were just reading and really, there was nothing there but a sense of innocent desire to be close to someone you love.

The youngest assassin pauses at the top of the stairs and wonders if that isn't the problem after all. It is as if Ran and Ken have both found a breath of new innocence together in their fumbling, blindly devoted affections. It is as if they have been reborn and been granted all the hope and potential that comes with a fresh start despite their being assassins, despite their pasts, despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

And they are sharing it like there is plenty to go around.

Maybe that is what makes him feel a little bit disgusted, he thinks. Maybe that is the same reason he finds Yohji watching them unintentionally when they are together, not with any lecherous intentions, but because there is something fascinating about the life they seem to promise themselves as well as their two bereft teammates.

It's like they want everyone to share all the hope and renewal they have found with one another. As if they're unafraid of the possibility that it might run out, that it might be stretched too thin. To give new life to two murderers is one thing.

But to four is something completely different altogether.

And Omi thinks that maybe this is why he's so uncomfortable, because he is worried for them. Their love is just for the two of them, after all, and won't the hope they've found be rationed out too much if the likes of Omi and Yohji try to take a share for themselves?

That strange, vaguely ill sensation he gets when he walks in on the two of them being in love feels like something he should not be privy to, for he hasn't undergone any of the heartache and uncertainty they have to get to where they are now. He hasn't searched for that sort of connection with anyone, not with the fervor they have, and they should be the only ones to enjoy the fruits of their labor, shouldn't they?

Freeloaders like he and Yohji…they shouldn't be allowed to steal any of the joy Ran and Ken experience because it is something they've worked so hard for on their own.

What if Omi's want to hold on, to watch them and believe? Will that make the burden too heavy in the end?

For some reason, he thinks he would have felt better if their love had been locked away behind closed doors, something only they two could experience and enjoy by themselves alone.

Omi doesn't want the hope they have so generously, if unintentionally, given him to weigh them down in the end.

And maybe that's why he feels a little disgusted when he sees them, even doing something as innocent as murmuring to each other their plans for the day or what they're going to eat for dinner.

Because he shouldn't see things like that. It's not any of his business after all. That hope they give to one another is a precious thing isn't it? They should keep as much of it as they can for themselves because they won't know when it could run out, when they could reach the bottom of the barrel and be left with nothing for themselves because they were too careless in doling it out to undeserving parties.

Yet still… the little blonde finds himself always wanting more. He wants to live in the joy they've found, wants to bask in its sunlight and let it take away his own sorrows, let it soothe him as it has soothed them, though he had not worked towards it in any way before.

Omi is a little bit disgusted with himself for wanting to take some of their love as his own, because he knows it doesn't belong to him.

He shakes his head and goes to his room, feeling that in addition to being a killer, he is also a thief.

Later in the evening there is a knock on his door and peeling himself away from his computer he goes to open it, finding Ken looking back at him from the other side of the portal, expressive features smiling nervously at the younger boy.

The soccer player runs a hand through his hair and asks Omi to come downstairs and have dinner with the rest of them, because Ran cooked tonight and thus it is guaranteed to be good and not-life threatening.

The brunette chuckles a little bit at that and behind all the laughter Omi can see that effusive joy that has taken hold of his friend and refused to let go, as tenacious as the athlete himself as it shines through, inexplicably drawing Omi with it, out of his room despite feeling that he shouldn't go.

Ken, reading the hesitance in the blonde's actions, puts a warm hand on his shoulder and asks if anything is wrong, because he has been acting strange lately.

Omi, turning large, sad eyes up to the older boy's, tells him no, nothing is wrong as far as he knows. But he admits, very softly, that he is a little bit worried.

When Ken asks him about what, Omi shakes his head so his bangs fall into his eyes and asks the brunette if there really is enough food for all of them tonight.

Puzzled, Ken assures him that there is, and why wouldn't there be? Truly, they've all been busy with their own things lately, but the brunette is certain that eating together is something that they will always plan for no matter how hectic things might become in their lives.

Without a shadow of doubt anywhere on that open face, Ken leads Omi down to Ran's immaculately kept table, assuring him that there is plenty for the four of them and perhaps even more.

Omi eats with them despite his doubts, feasting selfishly on more than just food, taking the warmth and joy that he feels are not his and stuffing it into his eyes and nose and mouth until he is rolling, full on their effusive happiness and hoping that he does not appear as fat as he feels, basking in the glow of their love though it is not his own.

In the back of his mind, he is a little bit disgusted with himself.

END