A/N: Well, here it is. What you've been waiting for. My house is still dirty because I typed this instead of cleaning. Please, R&R so I know it wasn't in vain!

Chapter 6

Grissom knew he had to get a grip on himself, or else Sara would completely shut down. He didn't want that because he felt in his heart that by telling this story, she would be able to release some of the pain and anger she always carried around. I have to get her calm, he thought, and let her tell me in her way. "I'm sorry, Sara," he began, "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just surprised is all. Come on, let's go find a quiet room, and we can talk. And you will tell me what is going on." He looked at her steadily.

Sara took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll tell you. But you can't interrupt me, and you can't tell anyone. Ever. Promise?"

He nodded as he escorted her to a small family lounge near the end of the hallway. He thanked God under his breath that it had a door that they could close, and only one small window for curious people to stare into. He led Sara over to the small couch and sat down next to her. Please let me do this right, he prayed. This is my one shot.

Sara let her mind begin to drift back through the years. "After my mom was convicted and sent away, I had a social worker who was convinced that it would be 'good therapy' for me to visit my mom on a regular basis. So, every Sunday my foster parents would drive me here for a one hour visit. See why it was so hard for me to find a permanent home? Who wants weekly trips to prison to be in their future for years? Anyway, my brother, who was old enough to decide, refused to go, so it was just me. I was thirteen. What did I know? Well, as you can imagine, those visits were not Norman Rockwell. I refused to talk to my mom beyond monosyllables, and she was still so angry at the system, at my dad, and at herself that she just poured that all anger on me. Everything somehow became my fault, and at thirteen, I believed her. I really didn't know any better. I was truly an angry kid then. So, when I was sixteen, I finally refused to go anymore. I'd had it. She wasn't my mother anymore, and I believed I didn't need her anymore. Make sense so far?" she asked as she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He nodded, and she settled back for the difficult part.

"So, that summer, I was placed in yet another new foster home. This couple had two other foster kids, and they often took in difficult cases like mine. They were caring, but strict, and I began to heal from the past years. My grades started to go back up, and I actually started thinking about college. I hadn't thought about it for awhile, 'cause I didn't think I was smart enough to go. Well, this family also had a real son who was home from college too. Let me tell you, he was a charmer." She smiled slightly at the memory. "He latched right on to me from the second he met me. We became great friends that summer. He kind of became my replacement older brother, because I hadn't seen mine since my family had blown up. Anyway, he went back to college in the fall, and I started my senior year of high school. I was so ready to go to college that year, it was unbelievable. That fall, everything I did was focused on college. I took the SAT's, I sent out applications, I wrote and rewrote my admissions essay ten times. I mean, how do you explain my childhood to an admissions committee? But when Christmas came, I was ready to relax. My acceptance letter from Harvard had been my early Christmas gift, and I wanted to celebrate. I couldn't wait to tell Jacob, because I knew he was going to be so proud of me. He had been encouraging me every time he called home, and I wanted to surprise him with the letter."

At that point, Grissom leaned forward and took her hand. He had a feeling that he knew where this story was beginning to go, but he believed that Sara had to get it all out in order to heal. Besides, he had promised that he wouldn't interrupt. It was getting harder, though. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and whisper promises to her that no one would ever hurt her again.

She continued with her story without looking at him. "So, he continued to work his charm. I was flattered, but it began to be something more as well. I thought he really liked me for who I was, not as the poor, little foster kid. And, I let him in. I gave my heart to him as well as my body. I just wanted somebody to care for me." Sara started to cry quietly. "Looking back now, I realized how dumb I was. If he had truly cared about me, he would have told his parents about us. Instead, he would wait until everyone was asleep and then sneak into my room. I thought at the time that it was so romantic. All it really was was cheap. I was his little plaything. But, you can probably figure out what happened. A few weeks after he went back to school, I discovered I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone, but in February, Jacob came home for a weekend with his girlfriend. The one he'd been dating for five months. His parents were so excited as they began talking about marriage, and I knew how they'd react if I shared my news. So, I went to the one person I thought could actually help me and care about my problem, my mom. Some help she was. After using all of my courage to even enter the prison, then crying out my whole story, do you know what her reaction was? She just sat there. She didn't hug me, or comfort me, or even tell me everything was going to be all right. All she said was 'Have an abortion. You think you'll be a good mother? Look at me. It would've been better for everyone if I had never had any kids. You think you will do any better at seventeen. You'll fail just like I did.' I still remember to this day the bitterness and hate that spewed from her mouth. So, what did I do? I left the prison and went to a clinic. I used my fake ID that I'd gotten from a kid at the home before this one and had an abortion. And I've spent the last almost twenty years pretending it didn't happen. And that's it? You see why I hate her? She's not innocent. Besides killing my dad, she convinced me to kill my baby." Sara leaned back and waited for him to condemn her like she had condemned herself all of these years.

Grissom slowly stroked the back of her hand as he thought quietly. He realized for the first time the burden that this woman carried everyday of her life. He also realized why it was so hard for her to let anyone in. Every time she had before, she'd been slapped. "Sara," he said quietly, "I wish there was something I could say."

"There's not, okay," she responded quickly. "I carried this anger alone for all of theses years. You don't have any idea what it's like. I'd see moms with their babies, and I'd get angry. I'd drive by an elementary school and see kids playing outside, and I'd get angry. I'd see ads for prom dresses in a magazine, and I'd get angry. I lost a life full of memories because of her. Do you realize that my child would probably be graduating from high school this year? She'd be ready to start the rest of her life. But she never got that chance, did she? I never got that chance to see her. And it's all because of that woman lying in that bed. You have no idea what is burning inside of me. I cannot wait to tell her what she's done to me," Sara exploded. "I want her to hurt as bad as I do everyday, Grissom. I want her to cry herself to sleep as much as I do. Then, I'll be satisfied."

Grissom was stunned by the force of her anger. "Sara, you have got to calm yourself down. Yelling at me is not going to make it any easier."

"Thanks, Grissom, just what I need, another lecture. You know what? Why don't you get back in your car, drive back to Vegas, and leave me alone. I didn't ask you to come, and I'm certainly not asking you to stay, okay? Why don't you just leave?" With that, she tried to get up and walk away.

Grissom refused to let go of her hand. "Come here," he said. As she sat down, he let go of her hand long enough to put his arm around her. "Look, Sara, I don't have any answers for you. I wish I did. What I want to do is take the evening to digest everything you've said to me, and we can talk about it in the morning, okay? I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever. Don't ever think that you can say anything that will make me want to leave. I care about you too much, and I hate to see you hurt." He finished on a lighter note. "All of this drama is making me hungry. What do you say, we get some dinner and go see a movie. I think you need to get away from the whole situation for an evening. Sound good?"

Sara thanked him silently for what he was doing. She was completely drained from telling the story, and she didn't want to think about it anymore. Dinner and a movie sounded great. "That sounds good, Grissom. But we're not going to see any weird bug movies, are we?"

He smiled at her.

After a good meal and an even better movie, Grissom and Sara slowly walked hand in hand down the hallway of the hotel.

"Thanks for everything you've done," Sara began, "I know you've got to go back to work tomorrow, but I didn't want you to leave without letting you know how much I appreciate everything. You always seem to be there whenever I'm ready to completely fall apart. I don't think I've ever told you how much that means to me." Taking a deep breath, she stretched up and kissed him on the cheek.

Grissom smiled at her and replied, "You're welcome. And remember, I'm here whenever you need me."

Sara gave him a quick smile as she opened her door.

As Grissom lay in bed that night staring at the ceiling, he tried to process everything that Sara had said to him. He realized that he had been given a glimpse into her motivations at work. She always fought for those who had no voice, and he could now see why. He also realized that her unwavering passion and drive, something others called a weakness, was really her greatest strength, and her respect for her grew enormously. He was trying to come up with a way to help her deal with all of the anger when he fell asleep.

Some time later, Grissom awoke to a pounding on his door. He quickly looked at the clock. 2:15. What is going on?

He opened the door to see Sara standing there in a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, her hair disheveled and obviously hysterical. "Sara, honey, what's wrong?"

"She's dead," Sara cried. "The hospital just called, and my mom died about 30 minutes ago. She's gone. Oh, God, what am I going to do?"

Grissom didn't say a word. He just opened his arms, and Sara walked into them.

TBC