Disclaimers: With Chapter 1
A/N - I have made some changes in chapters 1-3 and posted the revised editions elsewhere. If you'd like to read the revisions email me or leave a review.
Creative criticism is always welcome. Enjoy the story
Willow had watched for ten days and could wait no more. She didn't care what Buffy thought anymore. Willow loved both Xander and Spike too much to allow Spike's stubborn nature to take control. He would not die because he went without eating just so he could watch over Xander. He wouldn't want it that way and Willow knew it. Returning once more to the waiting game, Willow had a new goal and achieving it would not take much longer. Willow watched them closely as she made the call.
"Hey Spike. I, uh, I brought you this. It's not blood. Buffy wouldn't let that passed her. I'm sorry. But it might help with your hunger." Willow passed a warm mug of yellow liquid to the vampire. He drank without thought or hesitation. Within moments, he was asleep. "Sorry, Spike but I needed you not to fight. Help's on the way." Willow stroked the sleeping vamp's hair. She had no idea how much she had helped.
Spike was nearer now than he'd ever been. He could feel the crushing weight that held Xander captive inside himself. He called out into the darkness. "Xander, pet, Hold on! Just keep 'oldin on luv." Spike wept violently even in his dreams. No greater love could hold him there.
"Xander, I miss you. I don't know what good it is to say but I do. Spike's letting himself go for you. It's scaring me. I can't bare to watch it happen. We know you're in there. You just have to find your way out. Oh god!" Willow sobbed into her arm as she turned away from her friends' limp forms and the rise and fall of the pumps. It was too much for the redhead to bear.
The voices were stronger than before, less tinny. Xander faced the blue swirls now with much less fear in his heart. He found a comfort there because behind him were the demons he feared most. The voices were bad enough but now they held substance and form. Xander was on his knees in shattered tears.
"Worthless fag son!" "Good for nothing!" "No queer will live in my house!" "Xander, it's me, you're old pal Jesse. Don't be afraid."
Xander turned slowly to see his lover explode into ash. More unshed tears gobbled him up and sent him crashing into a solid wall of pain.
A new voice entered his world. It was closer than the dry rain of tinny voices that had been falling of late but further than the brutal nightmares behind him. It was calling to him to fight, to be strong. It called him home.
"Willow, you called?"