Disclaimers with Part one
Spike could feel it- that bittersweet twinge in his gut that told him that something so precious was near but that he'd never have it again. Spike had grown used to it by now but he hated it nonetheless. Spike just wanted to get closer to that haze he saw that was just out of reach. He could see it but he couldn't touch. That was what killed him most.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Buffy screamed at Willow. Apparently, Willow thought, this is one of those 'I hate him' months.
"I came because someone had the presence of mind to call me when they realized my childe was going to waste away. You may not understand but this is something I have to do." Angel growled out. He couldn't believe how petty the woman he used to love was being. All he wanted now was to go in and rescue his childe. What Spike needed now was someone to be strong for him. Angel was the only one who knew of the younger vampire's feelings towards Xander and he'd keep it that way. However, the idea of punching Buffy at that moment was incredibly appealing.
"You are not going in there!" Like a flash Angel, had Buffy pressed against the wall by her throat, his eyes flashing yellow.
"Like Hell I'm not. My family in there, not yours now back the fuck off Buffy." Angel let her drop to the floor and stormed into the hospital room before she could stop him. The soft snap-goosh noises and the beeping of the heart monitor suddenly blasted Angel. He didn't even look at first. Angel stepped in and took in the sounds and smells of the sterile room and then as he opened his eyes he saw the gaunt figure of his boy draped protectively over Xander. For once both demon and soul were one as they wept. "I'm so sorry this ever happened to you Xander."
Soon, Angel wrapped his arms around both sleeping figures. He reached out to touch the link between himself and Spike. It was weak, like the blonde had recently become, but there. Angel needed to feed him-NOW! He bit into his own wrist and shoved the open wound on the slightly parted lips. "Drink m'boy. You have to drink. Come on Will."In his desperation, Angel's Irish brogue returned full force. In the small room, Spike was no more. William, the frail young poet who loved with all his heart, was there in Angel's arms.
Spike's mouth worked separate from his mind. Soon his lips wrapped around the swelling pool of liquid and the first tinge of Sire's blood met his tongue. Spike moaned out and clasped harder. His strength began to quickly return to him and Spike slowly began to awaken. When he'd drunk his full, those beautiful blue eyes pierced Angel's soul. "Why?"
"Can't lose you m'boy. And neither can Xan. He needs you. I need you. I need him too. Something to keep you sane at least." His words were whispered – an admittance of the love both men held for the young brunette. Angel leaned forward and kissed Spike, gently like he used to do when the boy had done well. Spike's walls fell down and he crumbled into his sire's arms.
"I can't lose him Sire. I just. I can't. How foolish was I? Went and fell for the Slayer's pet."
"We all do foolish things Will."
Words. Xander was no longer hearing only sounds they were words. Voices. Some angry, others soothing. He knew he was closer to the surface. The beatings had stopped. But the anger remained. How could I have killed Jesse? I loved him. I loved Cordy too, look what I did to her. And then there was Willow, hurt her too. And now, Anya must hate me. Oh, gods, I'm a monster. How can I love again? I can't let him know how I feel. I always hurt the ones I love. I kill some part of them. First Jesse, then Angel. God, I kill them all some way or another and they'll never be able to forgive me not really. The walls started to close in again when he heard a familiar voice say he couldn't lose him. Some one needed Xander to survive. That was enough to make him fight again. Tears be damned.