Pete Gas is sitting in his small house making a fresh pot of coffee, the
next minute there is a knock at the door. He answers the door to Ultimate
Warrior.
Pete: Oh, hi Ultimate Warrior, come on in. Do you want a cup of coffee?
Warrior: Yeah, thanks. I've brought a pack of cards over so we can play a game, I'm getting sick of watching your video of Home Alone over and over again.
Pete: Hey! Home Alone is a very good film. . . And its the only video I've got.
Warrior: Well I'm sick of it, I thought we could play snap instead.
Pete: Snap? I hate that game, can't we play Poker?
Warrior: STRIP poker?
Pete: Uhhh. . . No. Why would you want to play strip poker anyway? Your only wearing a pair of trunks, you would lose straight away.
Warrior: I know. . . But it would be worth it!
Pete:. . . . . . . .
Warrior: [Grins]
Pete: You know what Ultimate Warrior, you really creep me out sometimes.
Warrior: Okay, okay. Normal poker, Ill deal.
Ultimate Warrior deal out the cards, Pete Gas starts to look faint.
Warrior: Hey, Pete Gas are you alright?
Pete: Ugh, I don't know. I feel a bit. . .
Pete Gas leans over and throws up in a waste paper basket by his chair.
Warrior: Whoa! Pete Gas, you look ill!
Pete: No shi. . . ughhhh [throws up again]
Warrior: Don't worry, Ultimate Warrior will look after you. See? That's Ultimate love.
Pete: Yeah whatever, I'm okay, I can look after myself.
Warrior: No. Come on, let me help you get into bed.
Pete: Hmmm okay, I could do with a lie down, just don't try to climb in with me.
Ultimate Warrior carries Pete Gas to his bed and tucks him in.
Warrior: There you go. And now I'm going to make you some soup.
Ultimate Warrior walks out of the room to make some soup for Pete Gas. Five minutes later Pete Gas starts to feel better.
Pete: [Shouting to Ultimate Warrior in the kitchen] Hey, Ultimate Warrior, forget about the soup. I'm feeling much better.
Warrior: [Walks into the room] Oh, Pete Gas, I'm so glad to hear your well again, I don't like to think of my little friend being sick.
Pete: Yeah, I don't know what it was that made me ill, must've been wind. But I'm feeling fine now.
Pete Gas gets out of bed but goes green again.
Pete: Oh no, I spoke to soon! [Throws up on the floor]
Warrior: Get back into bed, Ill finish making that soup. [Walks into the kitchen again]
Pete Gas instantly feels better again and sits up in bed, wondering what the hell is wrong with him. The next minute the phone rings, the Ultimate Warrior pick up the receiver.
Warrior: Hello?
Vince McMahon: Ah, hello, Is Pete Gas there?
Warrior: He's sick in bed, can I take a message?
Vince: Yes, tell him that he's got a big wrestling match tomorrow, so he had better be there on time.
Warrior: But he's too ill to wrestle!
Vince: I don't care! He's go to be there, 9am to get his legs waxed ready for the bout.
Warrior: But. . . [Vince hangs up on him]
Pete [shouting from the bedroom] Ultimate Warrior? Who was that on the phone?
Warrior: [walks into the bedroom] It was Vince McMahon, he said you have be in work for 9am tomorrow. I tried to tell him you were ill but he wouldn't listen.
Pete: Don't worry, I'm feeling better again. . . no wait. . . no I'm not [throws up again].
Warrior: Oh no! You threw up on the carpet! Don't worry, Ill clean it up.
Ultimate Warrior walks out of the room to get some stuff to clean up the mess. Pete Gas suddenly feels better again. A minute later Ultimate Warrior walks in, Pete Gas Feels sick again all of a sudden before throwing up on the floor again.
Pete: [Staring wide-eyed at Ultimate Warrior] Its YOU!
Warrior: What's me?
Pete: YOU are what's making me ill!
Warrior: Huh?
Pete: Every time you leave the room I feel well again, then when you come near me I throw up.
Warrior: But, but, but why? ? ?
Pete: I don't know WHY, I just know its YOU.
Warrior: But we've been friends for years, why is this happening now?
Pete: I don't kno. . . [throws up again] . . . Maybe you should leave.
Warrior: But, but, but. . .
Pete: [Throws up again] JUST GO!
And that is how Ultimate Warrior and Pete Gas stopped being friends after 10 years. Pete Gas made new friends, Ultimate Warrior sat alone at home and cried.
Nobody knows why Ultimate Warrior suddenly started making Pete Gas sick, some people say it was a new brand of face-paint that Ultimate Warrior was using, some say Ultimate Warrior had a mysterious new sort of plague virus, and some people just don't seem to care.
The Moral of the story? If the Ultimate Warrior starts to make you sick, don't throw him out of your house, he might not have any other friends.
Pete: Oh, hi Ultimate Warrior, come on in. Do you want a cup of coffee?
Warrior: Yeah, thanks. I've brought a pack of cards over so we can play a game, I'm getting sick of watching your video of Home Alone over and over again.
Pete: Hey! Home Alone is a very good film. . . And its the only video I've got.
Warrior: Well I'm sick of it, I thought we could play snap instead.
Pete: Snap? I hate that game, can't we play Poker?
Warrior: STRIP poker?
Pete: Uhhh. . . No. Why would you want to play strip poker anyway? Your only wearing a pair of trunks, you would lose straight away.
Warrior: I know. . . But it would be worth it!
Pete:. . . . . . . .
Warrior: [Grins]
Pete: You know what Ultimate Warrior, you really creep me out sometimes.
Warrior: Okay, okay. Normal poker, Ill deal.
Ultimate Warrior deal out the cards, Pete Gas starts to look faint.
Warrior: Hey, Pete Gas are you alright?
Pete: Ugh, I don't know. I feel a bit. . .
Pete Gas leans over and throws up in a waste paper basket by his chair.
Warrior: Whoa! Pete Gas, you look ill!
Pete: No shi. . . ughhhh [throws up again]
Warrior: Don't worry, Ultimate Warrior will look after you. See? That's Ultimate love.
Pete: Yeah whatever, I'm okay, I can look after myself.
Warrior: No. Come on, let me help you get into bed.
Pete: Hmmm okay, I could do with a lie down, just don't try to climb in with me.
Ultimate Warrior carries Pete Gas to his bed and tucks him in.
Warrior: There you go. And now I'm going to make you some soup.
Ultimate Warrior walks out of the room to make some soup for Pete Gas. Five minutes later Pete Gas starts to feel better.
Pete: [Shouting to Ultimate Warrior in the kitchen] Hey, Ultimate Warrior, forget about the soup. I'm feeling much better.
Warrior: [Walks into the room] Oh, Pete Gas, I'm so glad to hear your well again, I don't like to think of my little friend being sick.
Pete: Yeah, I don't know what it was that made me ill, must've been wind. But I'm feeling fine now.
Pete Gas gets out of bed but goes green again.
Pete: Oh no, I spoke to soon! [Throws up on the floor]
Warrior: Get back into bed, Ill finish making that soup. [Walks into the kitchen again]
Pete Gas instantly feels better again and sits up in bed, wondering what the hell is wrong with him. The next minute the phone rings, the Ultimate Warrior pick up the receiver.
Warrior: Hello?
Vince McMahon: Ah, hello, Is Pete Gas there?
Warrior: He's sick in bed, can I take a message?
Vince: Yes, tell him that he's got a big wrestling match tomorrow, so he had better be there on time.
Warrior: But he's too ill to wrestle!
Vince: I don't care! He's go to be there, 9am to get his legs waxed ready for the bout.
Warrior: But. . . [Vince hangs up on him]
Pete [shouting from the bedroom] Ultimate Warrior? Who was that on the phone?
Warrior: [walks into the bedroom] It was Vince McMahon, he said you have be in work for 9am tomorrow. I tried to tell him you were ill but he wouldn't listen.
Pete: Don't worry, I'm feeling better again. . . no wait. . . no I'm not [throws up again].
Warrior: Oh no! You threw up on the carpet! Don't worry, Ill clean it up.
Ultimate Warrior walks out of the room to get some stuff to clean up the mess. Pete Gas suddenly feels better again. A minute later Ultimate Warrior walks in, Pete Gas Feels sick again all of a sudden before throwing up on the floor again.
Pete: [Staring wide-eyed at Ultimate Warrior] Its YOU!
Warrior: What's me?
Pete: YOU are what's making me ill!
Warrior: Huh?
Pete: Every time you leave the room I feel well again, then when you come near me I throw up.
Warrior: But, but, but why? ? ?
Pete: I don't know WHY, I just know its YOU.
Warrior: But we've been friends for years, why is this happening now?
Pete: I don't kno. . . [throws up again] . . . Maybe you should leave.
Warrior: But, but, but. . .
Pete: [Throws up again] JUST GO!
And that is how Ultimate Warrior and Pete Gas stopped being friends after 10 years. Pete Gas made new friends, Ultimate Warrior sat alone at home and cried.
Nobody knows why Ultimate Warrior suddenly started making Pete Gas sick, some people say it was a new brand of face-paint that Ultimate Warrior was using, some say Ultimate Warrior had a mysterious new sort of plague virus, and some people just don't seem to care.
The Moral of the story? If the Ultimate Warrior starts to make you sick, don't throw him out of your house, he might not have any other friends.