With his new alertness, Xander had come to view the clock as his enemy. Time passed too slowly for them all here. Even as he had come to accept the new relationship between himself and the vampires, Xander could not help but fear that it wouldn't last. The hospital had become a kind of prison for Xander, but not one he was eager to leave. The fear of losing the trust, no, the love he felt for Spike and Angel overwhelmed him.
Buffy's visits were infrequent and callous now. So much the better Xander thought. He could barely group the workings of his own mind, so how could he explain it to her? Thirteen days in the hospital had changed so much.
The doctor was talking again, but his words were lost on Xander. Instead, they were an incessant buzz saw on his nerves. Dr. Michaelson had pulled Spike and Angel aside to discuss his concerns. Xander just stared at Spike's ass, trying to decide just when it was that he'd begun to feel those not unfriendly feelings to the Big Bad.
"Mr. Harris has some records that worry me. He's been a guest in our hospital several times now and the visits are becoming progressively worse. Starting at around age five…"
"Wait. Are you telling me that… that Bastard! I'll kill him Peaches. I swear to the Powers that his blood will drip from my fingertips." Spike's curses filled the air but he turned to glance at Xander and knew that however horrible his father had been, Xander didn't want the man dead. "Ok fine. No killing the whelp's father."
"Er, yes. Well, what concern me most are Mr. Harris' last two visits. We've documented more and more signs of self- destructive behavior culminating in this most recent event. I'm not sure if you were aware or not but Xander has scars that are almost definitely self-inflicted. We'd like to admit him to the Psychiatric unit for intensive therapy and observation."
Panic flooded Xander's eyes. He wanted to stay in the hospital but only because in this room his life had some semblance of sense. Xander knew that there were no visitations in the Psych Ward. He couldn't be away from the others that long. Xander didn't want to be here anymore. Sensing the younger man's distress, Angel spoke above the hushed tones the others had been using.
"No, we're going to take Xander to LA. He'll get the help he needs there – with us." Angel's words were simple but enough to soothe Xander's ache. There was little more that could be said. Xander knew what Angel meant. He was going Home . Spike nodded in agreement to Angel's words and stepped away from the protesting Doctor. He edged closer to Xander and smiled that loving smile he normally reserved for Dawn when she'd had a nightmare. "Isn't that right Xan?"
Xander's soft brown eyes burned into Angel's soul. Angel watched the glide of Xander's Adam's apple as he swallowed a hollow gulp. These waking days were spent mostly just sitting with his newfound loves. Words just muddied things up. He tried to speak but the words wouldn't come. Trying again he finally managed to reply with a tiny whisper.
"I want to go home, with you and Spike." Home. Xander hadn't allowed himself to believe that word could hold such weight before but he knew now that it did. Xander wanted to go home and where his vampires were so was home.
"S' ok pet. We take right good care of our own. You'll see." In that moment of clarity, Xander snaked his fingers over the metal bar alongside his bed and clasped them to Spike's wrist. "You're mine pet. I take care of wot's mine."