While Donna was silencing her sobs in a steady stream of water, Josh was silencing his with a steady stream of liquor. He had returned to his room after a lap around the convention center. He had to hold himself back from physically attacking Derek whom he unreasonably suspected as being one of Donna's new boyfriends. The mental image of the secret service agent snapping his flimsy body in two was enough to keep Josh off the warpath, but barely. Instead Josh walked an extra 20 yards out of his way in order to avoid being anywhere close to the two agents. He was embarrassed and he was ashamed. That's when he decided to drink.
Josh lay on top of the covers in his hotel room with his tie pulled loose and the top buttons of his dress shirt pulled open. He had finished all of the mini bottles that came with his mini fridge and even the three beers that had remained from a victory celebration earlier in the week.
He thought back to that get together just four nights ago. He and Donna had been so happy. They spent the evening poking fun of some of the big wigs they had met earlier who were financially supporting the campaign. This made them believe, to Josh and Donna's amusement, that they were entitled to treat the staff as hired help and the campaign policies as their own private wish list. They laughed as the Congressman's son stuffed 3 bar cherries up his nose right in front of these "dignitaries" before anyone else caught him and made him retire for the night. Donna had dared Josh to attempt the same and laughed whole heartedly as he tried to stuff one up her nose instead.
She had been so beautiful that night. There was something different about her look now. She seemed more sophisticated and had a take-charge type air about her. Josh definitely noticed the new additions to her wardrobe. Her classic beauty never ceased to amaze him, even in the plainest clothes she looked good, but now these power suits made her look…his equal. And she was, in everyway.
Their working relationship had grown in leaps and bounds as well. She was reporting on policy issues and going round for round with Josh when trying to persuade the Congressman to see things from a new perspective, "a Presidential Perspective if you will". Donna had used that phrase and it had become one of Josh's mantras.
So Josh continued to lie there, continued to feel sorry for himself but not quite sorry for the things he had said, not yet anyway. But as he thought back over their conversation, or the on-sided ranting session, he felt a knot form tighter and tighter, first his stomach, then his throat, finally his chest.
He knew he had been wrong to scream at her that way. He knew she wasn't sleeping with Derek, man, he had practically called her a slut. That alone was enough to make her hate him. "Why was I such a tool?" He asked himself over and over again and he realized: even if she was sleeping with Will, how could he blame her for choosing someone else when he never told her that he wanted to be an option?
The thought of her in bed with Will still sent shivers up his spine. He pictured that moment of the two of them in the hall, so secretive, so…close. He realized that he hated her at that moment only because it wasn't him. He was devastated that she had come back to him and chosen Will. It wasn't quite the same as the NRA boyfriend, he was dashing and all, but he lived in a separate nation. Will, he was here, he was around and was going to be around, he was marrying potential! The idea of loosing her to Will made the pain in his chest elevate even higher. Josh didn't think he was going to be able to breathe, he suddenly knew he had to get to her, he had to tell her not to marry Will. Not without letting him try to love her the way he knew he could.
Josh looked down at the empty bottle of JD in his hand. "I have got to go see her." He glanced over to the bedside clock, it was a quarter till 1:00. "I have got to tell her…" he began, "I have got to tell her that I want her, that I need her and that I will compete with Will to get her! I want the chance to be unprofessional with her too." His final thought made him grin and as he got up to find her, the all too sensitive system hit him like a Mac truck. The room spun and Josh flopped instantly back onto the bed, this time face down on the pillow and sleeping within literally 20 seconds. His snoring was so loud that he woke himself up briefly, but he was gone again less than a minute later.