Kage no Mikomi
By: Akira Asakura
Genre: Angst/ Spiritual
Rating: T for language, dark thoughts, and notes of violence/death.
Summary: He would have to face his shadows eventually… Riku-centric and One-shot.
A/N:
I thought of this while I was supposed to be sleeping and since I'd just read the Kingdom Hearts game guide about the part where Sora turned into a shadow, and it gave me ideas… Anyway, enjoy the read, and don't worry, the title will define itself with time, meaning you better read and review the whole thing!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, so you can find another idiot to sue.
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He hated the shadows, feared them even, just possibly. He'd been swallowed by them, let them get their grimy claws into him, let them suffocate him with thoughts that, had he been sane at the time, he would not have even wanted to touch upon. He wanted out, out of here and away from them.
He blinked, once, twice, a third for individuality from classic scenes and possibly to show off his beautiful eyes, because he knew that whether or not he was plunged in shadow's, he was the prettiest thing in this world. Blink, blink, blink, yeah, he was surely going insane in here. Was he seeing correctly? He shook his head, hair rising from its normal level, which of course, he didn't have to do, but look at those flawless strands of silver! Yes, he was more than just a little bit conceited. Shake, shake, hair flying in odd directions, but still none the less flawless. It couldn't be, it just couldn't. But it was, as sure as Hell it was. There stood shadow copies of his "friends", Sora and Kairi. "Impossible…" His voice echoed through the depths of the containment. "…Those shouldn't exist." He turned around, ignorant of the fact that he left himself open for attack. Hell if he cared though, because they were just shadows, weren't they? "Mickey, hey! I think something's happening here!" He grabbed his Shadow-blade, but he was a bit late. Hands and arms tangled themselves around him. His voice was muffled as he attempted to call out, "Help me!" And he knew that even if it was muffled, his voice was still damned sexy, so he didn't care too much of it that he was under attack.
Mickey emerged before him, grave serious. So maybe it was time to give up being such a cocky teenager and take things seriously. "I'm sorry Riku, but you have to do this." What the Hell are you talking about? "Eventually, we all have to face our shadows, our fears…" Face our shadows? The boy froze. What do you know about my shadows? The mouse turned away, guilt painting his face. "These shadows are a part of us. We can't let them scare us. No more hiding, you have to go."
What are you talking about? I don't fear them! They're my friends. FRIENDS, damn it! And suddenly, everything went out black…
-
"You betrayed us…" A voice echoed.
"You abandoned us…"
"You let the shadows take me…"But you- you…
"You tried to let them take me…" But I didn't-…
"You're selfish, pathetic! I hate you!" I- I…
"We all hate you! How could you come back?"You can't…
"You shouldn't even be alive!"Why shouldn't-…
"You don't deserve life!" But I never-…
"You never did anything to deserve this life…" You- you're right...
What did I ever do to deserve any of this?Friends, life, happiness, I threw it away when I lost myself to shadows. How can I even try to argue? Even back in Destiny Islands, I never did anything but fight and order you around. I'm sorry… Kairi, Sora, forgive me… Please, can you hear me? Where are you? Kairi? Sora? Can you hear me?
A flash; Destiny Islands appeared, along with an angered pair of friends. Sora shoved him into the sand. "What do you think you're doing here?" He kicked Riku in the stomach.
I did deserve that. I don't even know how I got here. Why am I here?
"Why are you trying to come back?" Kairi's frightened voice came with sobs. She back up a few steps, toward the dock.
I have no idea anymore. I need someone to help me. Please, Kairi understand…
"What, are you trying to kill us again?" Sora glared.
I never tried to-.
"Right, you just tried to get us stuck in oblivion." The brunette edged his way to Kairi, supporting her and letting her cry on his shoulder. "We worried about you, and to thank us, what did you do? You let the Heartless steal Kairi's heart. You let them try to unleash what could have been the apocalypse. And what's even worse is, you let nothing stand in your way. You gave us as sacrifices. You're worse than the heartless. You had a heart and you let it die!"
I didn't know!
"Just give it up, will you? We're tired of your excuses." Sora began to walk away with his arm protectively around Kairi. "Come on Kairi. We can leave him here."
Her lips moved incoherently.
What is it Kairi? It came out soft. Perhaps Kairi would try to listen to him.
"Kage no Mikomi-," Black, it all went black again.
Shadow Kairi stood before Riku, speaking inaudibly.
I don't understand. I can't hear you.
"Kage no Mikomi…"
…Shadow of Hope… He held his hands to his head, shutting his eyes. What was it? It was something she told us before… Kage no Mikomi, Shadow of Hope, but what does that mean? I can't remember…
"You can…"
No, I can't…
"Try harder…"
I 'm trying my hardest…
"Try harder than that… Put your whole heart into it…"
Shut the Hell up! Besides, what heart? I'm more heartless than the heartless themselves…
"You're just scared…"
I am not!
"You won't face your shadows…"
I did!
"But you're still scared…"
Mickey said that was part of me!
"And you need to grasp it…"
I…
"You're restraining yourself..."
…I am…
"You need to face it and take it…"
…I will…
"You need it now! How will you get out of the shadows if you're too scared to fight them? You have to try your all! You have a heart! You just hid it from view and from use. Bring it out and use it to its fullest extent! You can prove nothing with fifty percent! You need the whole one-hundred to do anything! Quit hiding from your fears and face them! Are you going to let these things knock you down like Sora? Get your ass out of the shadows and-!"
I am afraid, but that doesn't mean I can't do anything. I'm fighting my ass off and I don't care if it takes until Kingdom Come, I'll kick the shit out of each and every shadow in this make-shift hell! I won't let it beat me! Damn all if I do! His blade thrust through Shadow-Sora, a liquid oozing out that could've first been mistaken for blood, but rather was another form of shadow. With that, Shadow-Kairi dissipated.
"Kage no Mikomi…" The voice uttered out.
"…Shadow of Hope: Hope gained through fear, the dark side of belief, the shadow of doubt, it is something you should never let take over you. You should over come it, not vice-versa. Shadow of Hope, something I've lived in far too long, and I'm done with it." He panted, sweating, tears mixing in with it. His hands pounded on the ground, mixing into the shadow remnants of the shadow copies of his friends. He was drained, but he felt good. He'd faced his shadows, because he would have to face them eventually.
"Good," Mickey said, approaching him. He patted the teen's back. "Now you understand. You can't fight like you did before. It was in fear, but what you need is strength in hope. You need peace of spirit."
Riku nodded, letting himself fall back on the ground, lying on his back. "Even in Kage no Mikomi, you should find hope," he remembered, and could have sworn he actually heard, Kairi telling him. He smiled, wiping his face and facing the odd glow in the shadows. He could shut his eyes without fear of the shadows this time.
-End-