Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter, or any other character. I did try, and I am now in hiding in the basement of a small chicken farm down south.

Chapter 2 – Come on, think!

As Voldemort walked down the empty streets, he became lost in his thoughts. Mainly about what he could do when he becomes the new Minister. He would do much better than that idiot, Fudge, who couldn't tell his arse from his elbow. 'What else should I do to win the hearts of all the idiots who call themselves people? I could visit the local hospitals and read to the deaf, and draw pictures for the blind, or I could sit with all the elderly – NO! They'd probably bore me to death with all their annoying war stories. God, it seems like every old person is a war hero!'

Suddenly he was brought out of his thoughts at the sound of someone shouting him.

"Oi, mate!"

'Damn! What the hell have I done now?' He turned around slowly.

"Yes, you! I was wondering if you could do me a favour?" James shouted.

'Oh great! All I wanted to do was go for a walk, but nooo, I get roped into helping someone else. Think of some way to get out of it then!' Voldemort thought for a moment before answering:

"Er, sorry, I don't speak English!" 'Oh, yeh, that's gonna work!'

James looked disappointed, but replied, "Ok, sorry to bother you."

Voldemort just looked back at him ' Great! Another idiot, now just smile, and walk away.' Voldemort smiled at James, put the thumbs up, then turned to walk away.

"WAIT!" James had realised something.

'DAMN!' Voldemort turned back round, and James did something unexpected. He ran up to Voldemort and hugged him. Voldemort was mortified!

"EWWW, get off me you nonce! What do you think you're doing?" James let go of him and stepped away with a stupid grin on his face.

"I'm sorry, but I know who you are an-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I LIVE!"

"No, no I don't, but I'm your biggest fan! Me and my wife are really hoping you become our new Minister!" James said excitedly.

"Really?" Voldemort was shocked, 'Hey! Now's your chance to get a few more votes!' "Hmm, you said you needed a favour, what kind of favour?"

"Well the wife and I need a babysitter so we can go out, could you, by any chance baby-sit for us?"

Voldemort wasn't expecting this, he couldn't do this, no matter how desperate he was, and he hated kids!

"Um, sorry, I can't help you."

"Why not?"

"Because, because 'COME ON THINK, YOU CAN DO IT!' because I eat kids!" 'That's it, I'm outta here!'

"You what?"

"Er, I, er, I'm not good with kids, you wouldn't want someone as inexperienced as me looking after your child!"

"Oh come on, he'll be asleep all night, you won't even know he's there!"

"NO!"

"Come on, if you do this, I'll put in a good word for you, so my friends vote for you, and I'll make up stories about how Fudge used to be a girl, and he now has a very small di.."

"You finish that sentence, and I will hurt you!"

"But I have photographic evidence!"

"Ok, I don't even want to know"

"Oh please, I'll give you my private stash of weed"

"DEAL!"

"Oh, thank you! I promise, you won't have any trouble from him! Follow me!"

Voldemort followed James, cursing himself for being so bloody weak. He sighed, how was it that he always got himself into these things? Oh well, it couldn't be that bad, could it?

Well there's chapter 2 done. Any one who reviews, gets a Harry Potter tee-shirt, and a cookie! Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter - and thanks for the poem, Katie!