Note: The poem in this chapter was written by me few months ago and I have full rights on it. Do not copy any part of it.
Chapter 3: Till death do us part
It has been three months since Kate and Lindsay met. Even though Lindsay came back to Canada, they maintained regular contact and even managed to spend part of the Christmas vacation together. Even though Kate's body became smaller and smaller every week, Lindsay didn't notice it. Kate knew that her time was getting shorter, but her Lindsay seemed to be so joyous at the fact that she had a sister and Kate couldn't find a reason why she should spoil it for her.
Mornings were hard for Kate. On a good morning, she woke up with a minor headache that could be solved with a painkiller or two. In a bad morning, she would wake up with a stomach ache or nausea that prevented her from eating for the whole day long. As her cancer progressed, even waking up at time was an almost impossible task for her. And another reason that mornings were the worst part of her day was the fact that she needed to wake Jenna up, make a healthy breakfast for her, take her to kindergarten and arrive to work at time, which made her tired even before her day started. Within a short time, her pale skin started to get a greenish shade that even makeup could not hide.
Today was a bad day for her. She knew it since the moment she opened her eyes, at 6 am. Today was a nausea day, and even the pills Clint prescribed her weren't helpful in making her feeling better. When she woke Jenna up, the little girl went out of her way and started yelling that she wanted to stay home and watch TV.
Kate was on the verge of tears when she came to work. She was an hour late and knew that she was about to hear one of Dr. Crane's comments about her which became very cruel in the last few months. If it wasn't enough, she could see the questioning looks on her colleagues faces.
"It looks like someone forgot that she's getting paid for being at work on time and actually doing it." Dr. Crane said sarcastically. Kate felt her hand shaking with anger. How cruel could one person be?
"Dr. Weston, I wanted to speak with you." Clint came and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, sweeping her light-weighted body away from there. He led her to his office and closed the door behind them.
"Are you okay? You look like you're about to throw up or something."
"I'm nauseous. Even the pills stopped helping me." Kate replied dryly. Clint looked at her, worried. On the last month, she had lost a tremendous amount of weight and was so thin now, that her bones were sticking out of her colorless skin and even her veins could be seen through it. If it wasn't enough, the light that usually resided in her eyes was out.
"Do you want me to run some tests?" Clint asked softly. She shook her head.
"What's the use? The only thing you may find out is that my time is shorter than I think." She didn't tell him, but after looking at her recent X-Ray, she figured that she had less than a month to live.
"Did you speak to your sister?" Kate shook her head. Clint was scared of such an answer almost as much as she was. If she wouldn't tell her sister on time, Jenna may end up without a proper arrangement and will probably be left in the hands of law, which Clint thought was the worst guardian of all. "Maybe you should." He said.
"I will, but I just need some time. I mean, I know that I don't have much of it, but I need to figure out a way to tell her."
"Do you want me to tell her? If it's too hard for you, I can do it." Clint offered.
"That's very nice of you, but I'd rather that she hears it from me." Kate replied. "Now, I'd better get to work, before Dr. Crane has the chance to make another intelligent comment on my expense."
It was almost 7 pm when Clint's last patient left the clinic. He went out of the examine room, walked over to the reception and handed Tippy the patient's file. She thanked him and put the file back in its place.
"Hey, Tippy, have you seen Kate anywhere? I haven't seen her in the past two hours." Tippy took a pile of files that were handed to her by Dr. Crane and Dr. Herbert and put them back in their places on the shelf behind her.
"She must be in her office. Her last patient was at 6 pm and I haven't seen her go out of the clinic." Tippy said. Clint thanked her and went to Kate's office that was located ten meters away from his. The door was closed and he knocked, but didn't hear an answer.
"Kate? Are you in there? It's Clint." He said. He opened the door and entered the room. Kate was sleeping on her desk. He came closer to her and took a closer look at her. Her skin was paler than it was in the morning and he thought that a good dinner could certainly help her gain some energy. Gently, he put his hand on her shoulder and tightened his fingers around it, feeling the hardness of her bones. "Kate, wake up. Let's go for dinner and then I'll take you home." It seemed that Kate's sleep was deeper than he thought. He shook her shoulder lightly. "Kate?" He rolled her body on its side and checked her vitals. Her breath was shallow and her heart rate was slow. He paged the ER and few moments later, two nurses came into the room with a stretcher and helped him put Kate's motionless body on it.
Peter and Lindsay and Matt were sitting in the mobile lab and discussing the details of a case. They were drinking tea and suggesting theories that could help in solving the case. It was the 11 pm and all of them knew that it will be a long night. Matt already explained to them that Elsinger wanted to close the case as soon as possible and urged the team to find the answer as soon as they could. While they were talking, Lindsay's cell phone rang.
"Lindsay Donner." She answered the phone.
"Ms. Donner, I'm Dr. Clint Cassidy from the Westbury Clinic in New York City." The man on the other side of the line said. "I'm calling you because of your sister, Kate." He continued.
"What's wrong with Kate?" Lindsay's voice was full of worry.
"Kate wanted you to hear it from her, but unfortunately, she's unable to deliver the unfortunate news to you right now. She has cancer and has very limited time to live. She asked for you to come to New York." Clint said.
"Tell her I'll be there as soon as possible." Lindsay said. "Tell her to hold on. I'll be there, okay?" Lindsay repeated.
"I will." Clint promised. "I'm very sorry that I had to deliver such bad news to you." Lindsay's reply was unclear and the both of them hung up the phone.
"You look worried, Linds. Is something wrong?" Peter asked.
"Yes. I have to leave right now. I'll call you from New York and let you know…"
"Wait, New York?" Matt asked.
"No time to explain." Lindsay took her coat and went out of the mobile lab. Peter and Matt could hear the sound of her car starting.
Lindsay arrived at New York early in the morning of the next day. She took a cab straight to the Westbury clinic, where a nice woman in the reception approached her.
"Hi, you must be Kate's sister. I'm Tippy Williams. Dr. Cassidy will be here in a short while and he'll tell you everything about her condition." Tippy sighed. "I'm sorry that she's sick. She's a really nice person." Tippy usually spoke a lot, even when it was the wrong time, but somehow, she always managed to lighten the mood.
"Thanks." Lindsay replied. A doctor with black hair and blue eyes entered the room and looked at her. He looked at Lindsay in interest before approaching her.
"So, you're the slacker's sister?"
"Uh?" Lindsay was confused.
"I'm Dr. Oliver Crane. I asked if you're Dr. Weston's sister, but only a look on your face is enough for me to tell that you are, only that you look way better than her." Lindsay wasn't sure how to reply. On one hand, she didn't want to insult this man, who didn't really seem to like her sister very much, but on the other hand, she thought that he deserved some sharp words.
"Dr. Crane, your insensitivity takes the words out of my mouth every time." A blond nurse came from the hallway. "Don't pay attention to him." She said the Lindsay. "I'm Nurse Nichol. I'm sorry about your sister. Doctor Cassidy is with her right now. I'll tell him that you're here." She turned around and disappeared in the hallway. She came back few minutes later, accompanied by a tall, good-looking man.
"Ms. Donner?" He approached Lindsay.
"Please, call me Lindsay."
"Lindsay, I'm Dr. Cassidy, but you can call me Clint." He turned to look at Tippy, Dr. Crane and Nancy and then looked at Lindsay again. "Let's talk in my office." Lindsay followed him to his office. He offered her a seat and she accepted it. "Kate has cancer for a while. I don't think she told you that, but she had cancer four years ago and she healed. But few months ago, she got sick again. Recently, her condition got worse and she figured out that she has a very short time to live. Yesterday evening, she lost conscious and was admitted to hospital."
"How much time does she have?" Lindsay's voice was shaking.
"I can't tell for sure, but probably less than a month. I'm sorry." Lindsay could hear the emotion in Clint's voice.
"Can I see her?"
"Yes. I'll take you to her room." Clint said. They went out of his office and he led her through the hallways to Kate's room. Lindsay thanked him and entered the room. Kate was lying on a hospital bed, connected to an IV and a heart monitor. On the edge of her bed, Jenna was snuggled, her small arm wrapped around Kate's stomach. When Lindsay walked over, she saw that the little girl was asleep.
"Hi, there." Kate's voice was barely audible.
"How are you feeling?" Lindsay asked and sat on the edge of Kate's bed. She put her hand on Jenna's soft and curly brown hair and then bent down to kiss the little girl's head.
"Not much of anything. They gave me tones of painkillers." Kate's lips curved up in a small smile.
"I wish you told me sooner." Lindsay said and took Kate's hand. "I would use the time we had together wisely."
"Don't blame yourself. There's nothing you could have done."
"I could spend more time with you." Lindsay said.
"You worked and so was I. No sane boss would give you a five months of vacation. And it doesn't matter anyway. A month will be enough for us."
"Don't say that." Lindsay said. "Try to hold on for as long as you can."
"I knew it for a while. I just couldn't find the words to tell you. I should have. I'm sorry, Linds." Kate's voice was a whisper and Lindsay felt tears welling in her eyes. "Don't cry, Linds. I don't want you to cry for me." Kate put her palm on Lindsay's cheek. Lindsay wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I promise I won't." She said. "Is there anything you want me to do for you?"
"Actually, there's something I wanted to ask you for a while." Kate said. "Well, my husband is dad and soon I'll be gone too and when that happens, I want you to take care of Jenna, if you agree of course."
"Of course I'll take care of her. I'll give her all my love and I promise that I'll do anything to give her the best life I can." Lindsay's voice was full of emotion.
"When she wakes up, I'll introduce you. Then Nancy will take her to her kindergarten."
"Nancy?" Lindsay asked.
"She's one of my colleagues. You didn't meet her? A blond nurse, very nice." Kate asked.
"Oh, yeah. That's her." Lindsay said. "Yes, she is very nice. Actually, everyone here is nice, except for that doctor..."
"Dr. Crane? He's a good person, but he doesn't show it very often." Kate said.
"He calls you a slacker."
"And he calls Clint a cowboy and thinks that Tippy and Nancy are stupid, so what? He's not that bad if you get to know him." Kate smiled.
"Clint really does look like a cowboy." Lindsay commented.
"He is. He came from Montana five years ago. He's a great guy." Kate said.
"And good looking too." Lindsay smiled. Kate nodded.
"I was fortunate to be his girlfriend three years ago." Kate said.
"And what happened?"
"Some time before I hooked up with him, I was engaged to Rob, my late husband. It's a long story, but then Rob almost lost his life in a car accident, Clint and I were at shift that night and I broke up with Clint." Kate said.
"I can't believe it. You broke up with him?" Lindsay emphasized the last word. "How good was your Rob?"
"Good enough. As I said, it's a long story. But when I first got sick, it was Clint who helped me and Rob fix things between us."
"Really?" Lindsay looked surprised. Kate nodded. "What a sweetheart!"
"Yes, he is. And if you get the chance, go for him." Kate said. "He's a guy that will never do anything to hurt you." Lindsay smiled.
Later that day, Lindsay called Matt and Peter and explained to them what had happened. She apologized for leaving so suddenly and promised that she'll make a better effort when she comes back. Peter promised that as soon as they're done with the case, he'll join her in New York. On the same day, Kate was released from the hospital. Lindsay took her and Jenna home and Kate insisted that she leaves the hotel and stay with her. The next morning, Lindsay took her suitcase and left the hotel.
On that day, it was Lindsay who picked Jenna up from Kindergarten and made dinner. Clint came over to check on Kate, who seemed to be in a good mood and brought Jenna a book called "Ronnie the bunny and Lucy the hamster". After he left, Lindsay sat with Jenna in the living room and read her the story, not noticing Kate, who was watching them from the kitchen with a smile on her face. Later that evening, after Lindsay fell asleep, with Jenna in her arms, Kate looked at them. She knew that Lindsay will make a great mother for Jenna and was happy that she didn't have to worry about that. Gently, she took Jenna from Lindsay's arms and carried her to bed, where she kissed her and covered her with a light blue blanket. She came back to the living room with a blanket and put it over Lindsay's body. She bent down and kissed her sister's forehead.
"Sleep tight, love." She whispered and left the room.
Lindsay woke up in Kate's living room to the sound of Jenna's shrieks. She hurried to the bathroom, where Jenna was standing next to her mother, who was throwing up and crying miserably.
"Tell her to stop! She's scaring me." Jenna Clung to Lindsay's body and cried, as Kate bent over the toilet bowl and threw up, moaning in pain. Lindsay bent down and wrapped her arms around Jenna's body. She lifted her in her arms and carried her out of the room, feeling Jenna's tears wetting her shirt. In the living room, Lindsay sat Jenna on the couch.
"Shhh…" She caressed Jenna's soft curls. "Your mother doesn't feel well. She didn't mean to scare you. She'll never do such a thing." Lindsay wiped Jenna's tears away. "Now, go to your room and play with your toys, and I'll go to take care of your mom, okay?" Lindsay took Jenna's hand and led her to her room. She kissed the little girl's cheek and left the room. She went back to the bathroom, where Kate leaned against the wall, panting and sobbing. "Hey, hey… no reason to cry." Lindsay bent down and wrapped her arm around Kate's shoulders, pulling her body closer to hers. Kate buried her head under Lindsay's chin and cried. "It's okay. She's calm now." Lindsay caressed her sister's sweaty hair. Kate was wearing a black undershirt that exposed much of her body and Lindsay was shocked to see how skinny her sister was.
"It's getting worse." Kate sobbed. Her body was shaking in Lindsay's arms. "I just want it to end already. I don't want to wake up to another day of suffering." If Jenna's tears weren't enough to make Lindsay's shirt wet, Kate's sweat and tears were.
"Shhh…Don't say that. I'll make sure that tomorrow will be better." Lindsay said. Her arms were clutching Kate's body, begging her not to let go of life so easily.
"You can't." Kate said with a cracked voice.
"I'll try." Lindsay promised. Kate's body was motionless in her arms and only her slow breaths could be heard in the bathroom. "I promised Jen that I'll make breakfast for her." Lindsay said. "Why won't you take a shower and I'll make something for you too?" Kate raised her head and nodded slowly. "Do you need help getting up?" Lindsay asked.
"A little bit." Kate said and Lindsay wrapped her arm around Kate's waist, careful not to push her abdomen and trigger a nausea wave in her sister's tiny stomach and got off the floor, brining Kate's body up with her. Kate put one hand on Lindsay's shoulder, and stabilized herself. "Thanks." She said.
Lindsay went to Jenna's room and opened the door. Jenna lifted her head from a picture book and looked at her. Lindsay took a seat next to her and caressed her brown hair.
"Do you wanna help me make breakfast?" Lindsay asked. Jenna's blue eyes shone and she nodded her head happily. "Good. But let's dress up first." Lindsay made a funny voice as she took some clothes from Jenna's closet. "Do you know how to dress up on your own?" Jenna nodded.
"But I don't know how to tie my shoelaces."
"What will we do? I don't know how to tie my shoelaces too!" Lindsay said, jokingly. She helped Jenna dress up and then they went to the kitchen together and made breakfast. Ten minutes later, Kate went out of the shower and after dressing up, she came and sat on a chair in the kitchen. Lindsay cut some vegetables and put them in Jenna's plate. Kate watched her, feeling a little stab inside her heart. On one hand, she was happy that Lindsay was able to take care of Jenna and give her such a great treatment, but on the other hand, she was mad at her sister's behavior. Jenna was still her child and she wasn't dead yet. Kate wanted to spend whatever time she had left with Jenna, but Lindsay took over even before Kate had time to explain her condition to Jenna.
"Kate, what would you like to eat?" Lindsay asked gently. Kate glared at her for a moment.
"A whole wheat toast." Kate replied.
"Coffee?"
"I don't drink coffee." Kate said, coldly.
"Orange juice?" Kate shook her head. "Anything on the toast?"
"No."
"Just a toast is not a breakfast." Jenna repeated the words she heard so many times from her mother.
"Shut up, Jenna!" Kate said. She pushed her chair backwards and went to her bedroom. Lindsay's jaw dropped and she stood there for a moment.
"Finish your breakfast, hon. I'll be right back." She said to Jenna and went to Kate's bedroom. She opened the door and entered the room. Kate was lying on the bed, her head buried in her pillow. "Kate," She said softly and touched her sister's shoulder. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Kate raised her head and looked into her sister eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Why are you trying to steal my daughter away from me?" Kate blamed her.
"I'm not. I'm just trying to help you. I didn't think it would make you angry. I'm sorry." Kate could see the pain in Lindsay's eyes. It reminded her Jenna's look when she had told her to shut up.
"In my life, there are very few pleasures and Jenna is one of them. You, of all people, should know that!" Lindsay felt tears welling in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I…" She looked at Kate, understanding her point, but still hurt by the harsh words. Kate looked at her without mercy.
"I want you to stay away from her." She said. Lindsay looked at her with shock for a long moment.
"I think I'm gonna go now." Lindsay said. She went out of Kate's room and took her suitcase out of the big closet in the hallway. She threw her clothes inside and then zipped it. She dragged the suitcase out of Kate's apartment, not looking into the kitchen, where Jenna was finishing her breakfast and not noticing Kate, who stood in the hallway and watched her. Lindsay went out of the apartment, fighting her tears as she heard a loud bang sound and Jenna's shrieks. She turned around and ran back into the house. "Jenna, what's wrong?" She asked.
"Mommy fell!" Jenna replied. Lindsay ran to the kitchen, where Kate was lying on the floor, unconscious.
"Jen, call 911." Lindsay said and put two fingers on Kate's neck. Jenna ran to the living room and grabbed the phone. She dialed 911 and then came back to the kitchen and handed Lindsay the phone.
Lindsay was sitting in the waiting room of the Westbury clinic, waiting for Clint. He was with Kate at that moment and she waited for him to come out of her room and tell her if Kate wanted her to come into the room or stay outside. Nancy and Tippy were taking care of Jenna and Lindsay felt alone. Slowly, she fell asleep in her chair. Half an hour later, Clint woke her up and told her that Kate wanted to see her. She walked into the darkened room, where Kate was lying in a hospital bed, half awake.
"Lindsay," Kate whispered and sent her hand forward, looking for her sister.
"I… I'm here." Lindsay came over and held Kate's hand.
"Linds, I'm so sorry for the way I acted this morning. You've been taking such a good care of me and Jenna since you came and I had no right to treat you that way." Kate cried. "Everything I said… just forget it. Jenna is yours as much as she is mine."
"That's not true, Katie. You are her mother, and I'll make sure she'll know that." Lindsay said softly.
"You're making lots of promises, you know? How can you carry so much on your back?" Kate touched her sister's cheek.
"I just can." Lindsay whispered.
"Can you stand what you say as well?"
"I can try." Lindsay held Kate's hand. It was cold and Lindsay rubbed it to get it warm.
"You're an angel." Kate said, slightly panting. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Lindsay got up and opened it. Clint stood there with Jenna. "Lindsay, who is it?" Kate asked.
"Clint and Jenna." Lindsay replied.
"Lindsay, can I speak to you for a moment?" Clint said as Jenna ran into the room, climbed on the bed and snuggled next to her mother. Lindsay nodded.
"Katie, I'll be right back, okay?" Lindsay said and heard Kate's feeble reply. She followed Clint out of the room.
"Wanna take a walk? Drink a coffee, maybe?" Clint asked.
"Yeah, sure." Lindsay said and they went out of the clinic. It was a beautiful day outside and Lindsay could feel the sunrays on her face. Clint took her to a coffee shop around the corner and they ordered a coffee and a cake.
"Lindsay, there's something I think you should know." Clint started. Lindsay looked at him, not knowing if he was about to tell her good news or bad ones. "I got Kate's tests results and it's not very good. I'm afraid that the cancer progressed towards her stomach. She lost a lot of weight lately and I'm afraid that her time is even shorter than she thinks." Clint said.
"Is there something you can do for her? What about chemotherapy or radiation?"
"She doesn't want that. She doesn't want to die in the hospital and I don't really think that it could help her much in that stage of the disease."
"And bone marrow donation? I'm her identical twin, maybe I can…"
"Lindsay, it's too late. The cancer already took over. I don't think she'll live more than two weeks. I'm sorry that I have to deliver such bad news."
"Clint," Lindsay said with frustration. "What can I do for her? What will make her happy?"
Lindsay came back to Kate's hospital room, where her sister was singing a lullaby to Jenna. She stared at them, feeling the tears in her eyes. She wanted to make her sister's last days as fun and enjoyable as she could, and she had a plan and every intention of seeing it coming true.
"Kate, I just spoke with Clint." Lindsay said.
"My time is getting shorter, I knew it all along. I don't even have a month to live." Kate's answer surprised Lindsay.
"I spoke with him and convinced him to let you go home tonight. I know you don't want to die in the hospital, therefore I've arranged something else."
"Something else? What are you planning, Lindsay?"
"It's a surprise." Lindsay said.
"I don't like surprises." Kate said.
"Hopefully, you'll like this one." Lindsay said. "I'm gonna go and make some arrangements. Clint said he'll take Jenna and you back home, okay?"
"Sure." Kate said and Lindsay kissed her goodbye and left the room.
Lindsay took Kate and Jenna to her father's country house that was located in Ontario, Canada. It was partly surrounded by a forest that led to the closest city and her father bought the land and hired workers to build a little dream house that his family could use. Clint took a two weeks vacation and joined their trip, so he could take care of Kate in case that something goes wrong. It was morning when they arrived and the sun was shining on the dew covered grass. Kate blinked as she went out of the car. The sunlight was too strong for her eyes.
"Where are we?" She asked.
"This is my father's country house. That is where we're going to spend the next few weeks." Lindsay replied as she took their suitcases out of the trunk and dragged them into the house. She knocked on the door and heard footsteps from inside. The door opened by Dana Praeger, Matt's daughter.
"Lindsay," The 19 years old girl hugged Lindsay. "It's so nice to see you."
"It's nice to see you too." Lindsay replied. "This is my sister, Kate, our friend, Clint and Kate's daughter, Jenna." Lindsay introduced them. "Guys, this is Dana, she's my case manager's daughter."
"It's nice to meet all of you." Dana said. It seemed to Lindsay that she mainly addressed Clint and it made her smile. They entered the house, that seemed to be small from the outside, but actually had three floors, six rooms, two bathrooms, one kitchen and two porches.
"Will we get a guided tour?" Clint asked after they settled in their rooms. Lindsay smiled and nodded. She and showed them the house.
"I love it, Lindsay. It's a perfect house." Kate said.
"It reminds me my house back in Montana." Clint said. "It's great to be home again." He smiled at Lindsay and she knew that she was falling for him.
"Come and meet the rest of my friends." Lindsay said and led them to the back porch, where Matt and Peter were arguing about the team's recent case. Both of them hugged Lindsay.
"You have no idea how mad Elsinger was when he heard that we're taking a vacation." Peter said with a smile on his face.
"I wish I was there to see his expression." Lindsay smiled and introduced Kate and Clint to them. After all the handshaking, Lindsay went to the kitchen and made a sandwich for Kate. Clint had explained to her that Kate needed to eat balanced meals in order to stay strong and she took over Kate's meal planning. She finished making the sandwich and then cut some vegetables and decorated Kate's plate with it. She knew that Kate had no appetite, because of the nauseas and stomach aches and used every technique and idea that could make Kate enjoy her food. She took the plate to the back porch, where Kate was sitting on a couch and daydreaming. "Kate, I made breakfast for you." Lindsay said and tried to ignore the questioning looks Peter and Matt sent her. Kate didn't respond. Lindsay gently put her hand on her sister's shoulder and repeated the sentence. Kate looked at her. Her face was expressionless and she moved her hand unwillingly and took the plate. Lindsay took a seat next to her and wrapped one arm around her shoulder. She noticed that her friends stopped talking and stared at them with puzzlement. "Come on, Katie. It's gonna make you feel better." But Kate didn't touch the food. She just stared at the sandwich and Lindsay felt her heart sinking inside her, not because of the work and love she's put into the sandwich, but because she hated to see Kate in such a condition.
"I'm not hungry." Kate said and handed Lindsay the plate back. Lindsay looked at Clint, wanting him to do something.
"At least eat the vegetables." Lindsay said. Unwillingly, Kate picked a slice of cucumber and put it in her mouth. "Another one." Lindsay said and Kate did it without saying a word. She chewed slowly and then put her head on Lindsay's shoulder. "I'm gonna go and put the sandwich in the fridge. Maybe you'll eat it later." Lindsay went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. She put the sandwich inside and then closed the fridge door and went outside. Once again, Kate was flying in her own dream world and not paying attention to anything. "Kate, let's take a walk." Lindsay said and grabbed Kate's hand. Kate got up and followed Lindsay, looking like a stoned zombie. Peter and Matt looked at them, not knowing what to do or say. Even though they knew that Kate was terminally ill, they didn't expect to see her in such a condition.
"What will happen to her?" Peter asked Clint.
"She's dying. These are the finale days and she's becoming apathetic." Clint looked at her in longings.
"How much time does she have?" Matt asked.
"It's hard to know, but I would say that she has about two weeks. Less if she won't start eating properly." All three men looked at the Lindsay and Kate, who were walking in the small garden that grew around the house. Lindsay bent down and picked a flower. She put it in Kate's hair.
"She's taking a good care of her." Peter said and looked at Lindsay, almost able to feel her pain.
"She's an amazing person. When she was in New York, she took over Kate's house work and at the same time took care of Kate and Jenna. And she was there for three days only." Clint said. Lindsay and Kate turned around and started going back to the porch. As they came closer to the porch, all three men could see how pale Kate was. They also noticed that she could barely walk. After Lindsay helped Kate sit down, she went to the kitchen. Peter followed her.
"What are you doing?" He asked when he saw her cutting vegetables and putting them in a mixer.
"I'm making a soup." Lindsay replied without looking at him.
"But it's hot outside. I'm not gonna eat a soup."
"It's not for us, Peter. It's for her." She emphasized the last word.
"I don't think she'll eat, Linds." Peter said and put his hand on her shoulder.
"If she doesn't eat, I'll feed her. I will not let her give up so easily."
"Lindsay, she'll die anyway. You know that." For a moment he wondered if he wasn't being insensitive.
"She can last longer if she eats healthy food." Lindsay said stubbornly.
"Will it make a difference?"
"It will make a difference to me and Jenna." Lindsay tried to fight her tears, but failed. "Peter, I don't want her to go." She turned around and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her.
"Is there anything I can do?" Peter asked.
"I just want to make her happy, Pete."
"What about a picnic? Maybe some fresh her will make her want to eat." Peter suggested. Lindsay raised her head and nodded slowly. "Let's not wait. Let's have a picnic lunch!" He said. "Now, you go and make that soup and I'll make some sandwiches."
"Thank you, Pete." Lindsay sniffled as she turned back and continued making Kate's soup. After it was ready, she poured it into a cup and took a spoon out of a cutlery drawer. She came back to the back porch, and took a seat next to Kate. "Hi there, Katie." She said.
"Hi." Kate replied. She was holding the flower Lindsay had put in her hair when they were walking.
"I made some soup for you." Lindsay smiled.
"I'm not hungry." Kate said.
"It doesn't mean that you have to starve yourself."
"I'm not."
"You are, and if you refuse to eat, I'll feed you." Lindsay said.
"You never give up, do you?" Lindsay smiled and shook her head. "Okay, give me that soup." Lindsay handed her the cup with the soup and the spoon. "And I thought I was older." Kate mumbled.
"Only ten minutes older than me." Lindsay said with a smile. Kate nodded and took a sip of the soup. "Use a spoon." Lindsay said.
"Sure, I'll use it." Kate threw the spoon at her sister.
"You!" Lindsay said and tickled Kate.
"Don't you dare!" Kate said jokingly and put the cup down on a small table that stood next to the couch. She pushed Lindsay backwards and started tickling her in her stomach.
"No… stop." Lindsay giggled.
"Anyone wants to join?" Kate asked Dana and Jenna who came to the porch several moments earlier.
"No, don't. Don't join!" Lindsay said through her giggles. They didn't listen to her and joined Kate's little game. Lindsay could hear Kate's laughter and it was the best sound she had heard in her life.
Few hours later, everyone went out for a picnic lunch in the forest that surrounded the house. After they ate, Jenna fell asleep on Dana's lap and Kate started yawning too. Pretty soon she fell asleep too. Lindsay looked at her. She looked so calm in her sleep and Lindsay was amazed to see that even though she was pale, sick and skinny, Kate's face were better looking than hers. She caressed Kate's soft hair that was longer and had a lighter shade than Lindsay's. She looked at her sister with love, not noticing Clint who sent her a similar look. They stayed there almost until dinner time and then went back to the house. Kate was still asleep at that time and Clint carried her back to the house and the rest of them, even Jenna, who woke up an hour earlier, walked ahead of him. That night, Lindsay skipped dinner, claiming that she didn't feel well and went back to the room she and Kate shared. It was the biggest room and had enough room for two people. Kate was still sleeping and Lindsay sat on her bed and looked at her. It seemed to her that Kate was happier, now that she was out of the city and Lindsay knew it was the right thing to do. She could still recall Kate's laughter and knew that she'll remember that forever. She turned off the light and lied down next to Kate.
"Good night." She whispered and turned off the light.
It was the middle of the night when Lindsay woke up after hearing a suspicious sound from the back porch. Noticing that Kate was not lying next to her anymore, she ran out of the room and down the stairs, trying not to make too much noise. She went through the back door, hoping that nothing had happened to her sister. Kate was sitting on the couch, looking at a distant point, where lights from the closest town shone in the dark. Lindsay sighed in relief and sat next to her sister.
"What are you doing out of bed in such an hour?" Lindsay asked.
"I couldn't sleep." Kate said.
"What's the matter? You're not feeling well?" Lindsay's voice was full of concern.
"No, I just had too many thoughts… going through my mind."
"What's bothering you?" Lindsay knew it was a stupid question. In her condition, Kate had lots of reasons to be concerned.
"I thought of Jen." Kate said. "I wonder if she'll ever remember me."
"Kate, I'll tell her. I already promised I'll do that. You don't have to worry about it." Lindsay said.
"I know you did, and I trust you, but that's not what I meant." Kate explained. "She's gonna grow up knowing only you, and when she goes through major events in her life, she'll want you next to her…" Lindsay closed her eyes and sighed, knowing that jealousy had jus started sending its long arms towards her sister.
"Katie, I understand your point, but what can I do?"
"I don't know. Just be there for her, okay? And give her all of your love." Kate said, her eyes shining with tears.
"I will." Lindsay promised.
"Linds, can you do something for me?"
"Anything you want." Lindsay replied.
"Sing me a song."
"A song?" Lindsay looked at her sister puzzled. "You don't want to hear me sing."
"I do."
"Which one do you want me to sing?"
"You choose."
"Ok. Just give me a minute." Lindsay said. Kate nodded. Lindsay thought for a moment before remembering a poem that her mom used to read her when she was little. "Mind if it's a poem?"
"No." Kate replied. Lindsay looked at her for a brief moment and then started reciting the poem she knew so well.
"Kept away from heat and light
Leaning with its back to the wall
Its wood is polished, its strings are stressed
Its long neck is upright
Fresh thoughts to become new ideas
Notes are written in their names
Expressing what one feels
Letting go of useless words, of meaningless letters
Noises of voiceless sounds are rising in the air
One instrument's orchestra
Clean of originality
Hands embracing the music baby
Caressing the delicate wood
Strings rotate to the touch of numb fingers
They smile as false music is heard
Thoughts drawn with pain, ideas drown in music
And with the last sunray
The song ends
The guitar is silent
It had been put to bed
And it lies behind locked doors
Anticipating its next performance
That comes with dawn."
"It was beautiful, Lindsay. Thank you." Kate said. Lindsay didn't say a word. Her eyes were full of tears as the memories of her mother popped into her mind. Her mother died of cancer when Lindsay was fourteen and that poem was recited in her funeral by Lindsay. "Linds?"
"I heard. Thank you." Lindsay sniffled.
"I want you to recite it in my funeral." Kate said.
"I can't."
"Please, Linds. It will be perfect for it." Kate begged.
"I'm sorry, Katie. I won't be able to do that." The tears slowly fell down on her face.
"Why are you crying?"
"I recited that poem at my mom's funeral, sixteen years ago and I know I won't be able to stand in doing it again." Lindsay sobbed.
"I'm sorry. Don't cry, Linds. Please stop crying." Kate wrapped her arm around Lindsay's shoulders and pulled her closer. "Let's go upstairs and try to get some sleep. We need it. Come on, Linds." Kate said. Slowly, she stood up and Lindsay followed her, still crying, as she went back into the house.
As the time passed, Lindsay was shocked to see the way Kate's spirits rose even though her body was getting weaker. Clint was also surprised to see how Kate gained some weight. He knew it was mostly thanks to Lindsay, who took a very good care of her sister. He only hoped that it slowed the development of the cancer in her body a little bit and helped her gain few more days. He already wondered how Kate managed to go on without morphine or any other painkillers and now it was clear to him: the few days she spent without the stress of work, motherhood and away from the crowded, noisy city had clearly improved her mood and that has affected her condition. He knew that it wouldn't change the fact that she was dying, but at least she felt better. Now, he was sitting in the back porch, watching Lindsay who was hanging up the laundry. Since she started taking care of Kate and Jenna, she looked a little tired, even though she was seeking to hide it, so it won't upset Kate.
"Hey, Superwoman." He approached her.
"Hi." She said quietly.
"Wanna take a walk?" He offered.
"Sure, just let me finish here." She replied with an apologetic smile.
"Busy, eh?"
"I'll be done soon." She said and hung up a pair of socks.
"I'll wait." He said. She bent down to take another pair of socks from the laundry tub that was placed on the ground. The sun was shining on her blond braid that was lying on her white spaghetti shirt.
"Okay, I'm done." She said after hanging the last cloth. She put the tub on the porch and then joined him for his walk. For the first few minutes, they were quiet and then Clint stopped and looked at her.
"I have to thank you for what you're doing for Kate." He said softly. "She's happier now."
"I know. It's great to see her happy." Lindsay said. Her innocence was a complete shock to him. Very rarely did he meet a grown up that was so innocent. He wondered if after Kate dies, she'll be able to handle all the pressure of being a mother and swore to help her in every step of the way.
"It makes me happy to see her happiness. And it makes happier to see that some people in this world still have values." Her eyes magnetized him so much more than Kate's eyes when they used to be lovers. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. "You're a very special person, Lindsay." He said, his lips only few inches from hers.
"Thank you." She whispered, feeling his breath on her skin and loving the warmth of his arms around her. His fingers dug in her hair, slowly taking apart her braid and then none of them could hold it anymore. It was Lindsay who started it and put her lips on his, slowly kissing her way into his mouth and then came the passion they couldn't resist and the kiss became deeper. Before they realized it, they were addicted to each other. When they finally pulled apart, their faces were flush and their lips were moist. They walked back to the house together, holding hands and making plans for after dinner and their eyes were shining.
Kate was sitting in the room she shared with her sister and writing when Lindsay came in, looking like she was attacked by the sunshine.
"Hi, there, Linds." She said.
"Oh, hi…" Lindsay looked a little bit confused to find her sister in the room. "What are you writing?"
"A journal." Kate replied. "Where have you been?"
"Are we playing questions?"
"I don't know, are we?" Kate teased her. "Were you with Clint?" Lindsay glared at her for few moments before nodding.
"How did you know?"
"You're glowing. And you have some little hickies on your neck."
"What? Where?" Lindsay stood in front of the mirror, nervously trying to trace the places where Clint left marks.
"There are five of them." Kate said, knowing the uneasiness she put her sister into. "Two here," She lightly touched two points on Lindsay's neck. "One here," she moved her finger to Lindsay's jaw. "Another one here," she pointed at Lindsay's shoulder. "And another one there." Shepointed at Lindsay'scleavage. Lindsay sighed. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with it."
"I know, but I didn't think he was going to mark me!"
"I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. Clint is not like that." Kate shrugged. "And you can hide it with make up."
"Do you have any?"
"Yes." Kate said and opened the closet, looking for her purse. "So, how was it?"
"It was good. He's a good kisser." Lindsay blushed. "But it's too weird."
"Weird?" Kate raised her eyebrows.
"I mean, it's not that he's not a good guy, but you dated him and I can't…"
"Take what's mine? His not mine for a long time now."
"It's only that." Lindsay said. "I don't believe he really loves me. You see, he appreciates the way I'm taking care of you and Jenna, but doesn't love me."
"Lindsay, that isn't true. I'm sure that he feels something for you." Kate said.
"Kate, he doesn't want me. He wants you."
"That's ridiculous. Clint isn't in love with me. Why would he turn to you if he was in love with me?" Kate asked.
"Simply because he's afraid of losing you. I look like you and he's playing pretend – with me. He's using me as a replacement."
"Lindsay, that's impossible. Clint's love for me is long gone."
"Maybe it isn't." Lindsay said quietly and went out of the room.
That evening, Lindsay didn't show up for dinner and couldn't be found anywhere else. Dana remembered seeing Lindsay going outside to take a walk, but didn't recall her coming back.
"Well, it looks like we have a paranormal case in our hands." Matt joked. "She knows how to take care of herself and she knows the area pretty well. Even at nighttime, she can walk those trails with her eyes closed." He added and reminded Peter of a case the team investigated in that area a year earlier. A case where Lindsay saved Clair, who was lost in a nearby forest.
"That's right. And remember she told us how she used to run away sometimes and hide in that forest until her father finished working?" Kate looked at him in disbelief. "Really, Kate. She knows those trails even better than she knows her job!"
"And still, she's gone. Maybe she fell and broke her leg? Or got hit in the head or was attacked by a wild animal?" Kate asked, terrified of what might have happened to her sister. "And it's raining outside."
"You know what? You stay here with Clint and Jenna. We'll go to look for her. Dana, you wanna come too?" Matt said. Dana nodded. "Okay, grab a flashlight." Matt said as he wore his coat. "And dress warm."
"Yes, sir." Dana saluted jokingly. Peter laughed and put his hand on her shoulder.
"He wishes I would say that every time he tells me to do something. Right, Matt?" Peter wore his coat and took the flashlight Matt handed him. Matt nodded and smiled. "Everyone ready?" Peter opened the door and the three of them went out to the dark and cold night.
Lindsay was walking in the wet and muddy trail that led out of the dark forest. Her clothes were wet and muddy and her body was sore after she tripped on rocks, bushes and tree roots and hurt her knee and head. While making her way back to the house, trying not to fall again, she heard noises from the trail ahead of her and saw the light of three flashlights. She couldn't see who those people were, but recognized their voices.
"Matt, Pete." She called out happily.
"Lindsay, are you okay?" Dana asked after seeing the mud on Lindsay's clothes and blood that was oozing from her head.
"You have a serious bleeding here." Matt said. "And you're limping. What happened?"
"It was too dark. I couldn't see my way back and I tripped on few rocks and bushes."
"Clint's gonna love that." Peter said. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and lifted her in his arms. "The damsel in distress was found." He joked. "Light my way, honey." He smiled at her and she took his flashlight from his palm and held it for him.
"You're not gonna carry her all the way back to the house, are you?" Matt asked.
"I think they look kinda cute that way." Dana said. "Only that Lindsay looks like the mud monster."
"I'll pay you back for that." Lindsay said and laughed.
"Well, she's right." Matt teased her.
"Call LQ, maybe he'll be interested in this new specie of mud-monsters." Peter joked. Lindsay laughed, thinking how funny such a prank could be. She lightly slapped Peter with her mud-covered hand.
"Ummm… on which way did we come?" Matt asked when they stood in the middle of a crossroads.
"Take the right trail." Lindsay replied. "And careful, there's a big rock in the middle of it." They turned and Lindsay started feeling the pain in her head making her want to throw up. The flashlight was shaking in her hand and she accidentally dropped it.
"Lindsay, I can't see the way." Peter complained. Dana bent down and picked up the flashlight. She handed it back to Lindsay. They went few more meters when suddenly Lindsay yelled.
"Peter, watch the rock!" Matt yelled a moment too late. Peter tripped and Lindsay fell from his arms.
"Oh…" Peter got up and rubbed his knee.
"Guys, help me." Lindsay's desperate cry rose from the side of the road. Matt saw her caught in a thorny bush.
"I'm okay. Go, set her free." Peter said. He stayed sitting on the wet ground, rubbing his sore knee as Matt and Dana went to help Lindsay.
"Ah…" Lindsay moaned in pain.
"How did you get in there?" Matt asked. He pulled Lindsay's shirt, to help set her free, but the thrones were deep inside the cloth and started tearing Lindsay's delicate skin. "Okay, stand still. I'll try to get those thrones out of your cloth. I may need to rip a part of it, is it okay?"
"Yes. Just get me out of here." Lindsay replied.
"Dana, try to take those thrones out of her pants." Dana looked at Lindsay, who was wearing a black pair of ¾ tights. She could see that Lindsay's skin was already cut and slashed around the knee and that her right sock was soaked with blood. Slowly, she pulled the thrones out of Lindsay's pants, trying to keep it away from Lindsay's skin. It took Matt and Dana almost half an hour to get Lindsay out of the bush. Lindsay's legs, back, shoulders and face carried cuts from the thrones and her shirt was ripped in the back. Peter's knee was sore, but didn't suffer a serious damage. Instead of being carried by him, Lindsay walked, being supported by Dana. It took another half an hour until they got out of the forest and entered the house. Kate and Clint looked at them with horror.
"What happened?" Kate asked, looking at the four muddy people and especially at her sister.
"A lot of trouble." Matt replied. "Lindsay and Pete fell."
"I can take are of them." Clint said.
"You'll take care of Peter. I'll take care of Linds. You have enough equipment to share?" Kate asked.
"Sure. It's in my room." Clint said and left the room. He came back few minutes later with a big suitcase in his hands. "Okay, let's see…" He said and opened the suitcase. "Disinfectant, cotton wool, bandages. Is there anything else that you need?"
"No. Thanks, Clint." Kate replied and took the equipment he gave her. "Dana, will you help her go upstairs?" Dana nodded and wrapped her arm around Lindsay's waist. Slowly and noisily, they went upstairs. "Into the bathroom." Kate said when they were upstairs. "Let's get the mud away, so I can see your wounds." Kate said and opened the water tap in the shower. Dana helped Lindsay into the shower stall. "Wash all the mud, Linds." Kate laughed. Lindsay was getting a shower while being dressed up. Kate handed Dana a towel. "When she's done, get her out of those cloths and take her to our room. I'm gonna prepare some dry clothes for her." Kate said and left the room.
It took fifteen minutes until Dana and Lindsay came to the room. Lindsay's body was wrapped by a big white towel, some water drops were flowing down body and her hair was dripping as well. Dana helped her sit on the bed, next to Kate.
"Okay, let me check the head." Kate said and lightly touched the wound in Lindsay's head. Lindsay hissed in pain and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry." Kate apologized and poured some disinfectant on a small piece of cotton wool. "It's gonna sting." She warned Lindsay and gently put it on the wound. Tears welled in Lindsay's eyes. "How'd you get that wound?"
"I fell on a rock." Lindsay replied.
"It's pretty deep. But I don't think that it requires stitching." Kate said. She bandaged the wound, trying to be as gentle as she could. "Follow my finger." She passed her finger in front of Lindsay's face. "Good. Now how many fingers do you see?"
"Four." Kate nodded in satisfaction.
"Does your head hurt?"
"Yes. Around the back." Kate pressed two fingers on the back of Lindsay's head. Lindsay moaned in pain.
"Looks like you suffer from a mild concussion." Kate said. She put one finger under Lindsay's chin and looked at her face closely. "The others are just scratches, but this one may leave an ugly scar. Now, let me look at your leg." Lindsay's knee was cut and raw. "Can you move it?" Lindsay bent her knee and straightened it. Kate touched it. "Good. It's not broken, but the cut looks pretty bad." Kate disinfected the wound and bandaged it. "Now, your ankle is a little swollen." Kate said. She touched the ankle. "But some ice can solve that."
"I'll go and bring some." Dana said and went out of the room.
"Now, here are some clothes I prepared for you. Dress up while I go to the kitchen and bring you some food, because you missed dinner." Kate said and left the room.
Lindsay felt better in the next day, but she noticed that Kate was pale and didn't eat. She also saw Kate taking her painkillers, which she hadn't touched for a week. Later that day, Kate complained few times of the cold, even though the sun was shining high in the sky and there was no trace for the previous night's rain. When Lindsay touched Kate's forehead, to check if she had fever, Kate was burning up. Lindsay helped her to bed and told Clint about her sister's condition. When Clint came to check Kate out, Lindsay could see the concern on his face. She made some soup for Kate, but it took only ten minutes before Kate threw up what she ate. When Clint came to check her up again on the next day, he saw that her breath was shallow and her body temperature too high.
"Lindsay, we need to take her to the hospital." He said.
"She doesn't want it. She told me that yesterday."
"If she doesn't go to the hospital, she'll die." Clint said, realizing that his point was uselesssince Kate was dying anyway. Lindsay glared at him. "Okay, I know. But she may still have more time if she gets the right treatment."
"I'll talk to her." Lindsay said. She went upstairs and opened the door of their room. Kate was sleeping. Her skin was paler than the wall and her breath irregular. Lindsay touched her cheek gently. It was hot, even though Clint gave Kate a fever reducer"Katie, wake up." Kate sent her hand to her cheek and entwined her fingers in Lindsay's.
"Linds," Kate whispered.
"I'm here, Katie." Kate opened her eyes and looked around her in confusion. "How are you feeling?"
"My head is killing me." Kate replied.
"Kate, honey, Clint says that we need to take you to the hospital."
"No hospital."
"He says that if you don't go to the hospital, you'll die very soon." Lindsay said.
"No hospital, Lindsay. I wanna stay here." Kate said.
"Okay, no hospital." Lindsay said. "I'll go and tell Clint."
"Linds," Kate grasped her sister's wrist. "Don't go. Lie next to me."
"Okay." Lindsay lied down next to Kate and caressed her sister's soft hair.
"Linds, I know that my time is very short. After I'll be gone, I want you to read my journal. I wrote it for you and for Jenna." Kate said.
"Katie," Lindsay felt the tears flowing down her cheeks. Kate's fingers caressed Lindsay's wet face.
"Don't cry, Linds. You look better when you're happy." Her voice was weak. "How's the weather?" Kate changed the subject.
"It's so hot outside that even the sun is sweating." Lindsay smiled through her tears.
"Take me out of this room, Lindsay. I wanna see the sun."
"Are you sure you're up to it?" Lindsay asked. Kate nodded. "Okay." She helped Kate get out of her bed and put her arm around her sister's waist. Slowly they went down the stairs and went out to the back porch. She could see the Goosebumps on Kate's skin and covered her shoulders with a blanket.
"It's so beautiful." Kate whispered. "I love the sun." Lindsay wrapped her arm around Kate's shoulders. "Thank you, Linds, for everything you're doing. You deserve the best."
"Katie, I didn't do anything special."
"You've been such a good and loving sister and that is a very special thing for me." Kate said. "I wish I could have you forever."
"We'll always have each other, even if we can't be close. I'll always carry you in my heart and in my blood. We have a bond that is stronger than death."
"The same genes?"
"The same everything. I am you – and you're me." Lindsay offered her hand to Kate.
"One heart?"
"One heart." Lindsay repeated.
"One body?"
"Only one."
"You take the fifth?"
"I take this oath to be Kate Weston in spirit, body and mind." Lindsay said while putting her hand on her heart.
"And I take an oath to be Lindsay Donner in spirit, body and mind." Kate repeated her sister's declaration. "I take the oath to becrazy and funnyjust like my sister, Lindsay Donner." Kate joked.
"I take the oath to be serious and realistic like my sister, Katelin Weston." Lindsay smiled at her sister.
"Good, now we're one." Kate said. "We'll never be parted, not even by death." They embraced and didn't let go of each other for a long time.
The next day, Kate asked Lindsay to have a picnic together, in the little garden in front of the house. They sat on a blanket, enjoying the sun on their faces and the fresh air. They spoke of their childhoods and their adoptive families.
"My mom, she loved this place." Lindsay said. "She planted this garden."
"She did a great work." Kate commented.
"I know. My father somehow kept it alive after she died, but it's not what it used to be when she took care of it." Lindsay looked at the roses that grew in the garden with longings.
"Linds, can I be buried here?" Kate asked.
"I… don't know. My father owns the land, I have to ask him."
"Will you do it for me, Linds?"
"Of course I will." Lindsay replied and caressed her sister's pale face. It was still too warm, but not as high as it was on the previous day. Thanks to Clint's care, Kate's fever started going down and she felt better.
Later that day, Lindsay called her father. It has been a long time since the last time they spoke and she wasn't really sure he'll be happy to let Kate be buried on his land. She stopped her breath when he answered the phone.
"Dad, it's Lindsay." She said when she heard his voice.
"Lindsay, it has been a long time. Aren't you on the way to some important meeting or an investigation site?" He asked. She remembered their last conversation. He was angry that she never called him and that she was always on the way to some place.
"No, I'm Plumsville with my friends." Lindsay replied. "I wanted to ask you something."
"What broke now?" He asked, tiredly.
"Nothing, I just wanted to ask you something about the place." Lindsay replied.
"The place?"
"Well, yeah. You see, my sister is very sick and…"
"Your sister? Is it how you call your best friend or something?"
"No, dad. My twin sister, Kate." She said. "You never told me that I'm adopted and that I have a twin sister, but at least I had her to tell me that."
"I didn't tell you to protect you."
"It's not why I'm calling, dad. I called because Kate is dying and she'd like to be buried her in Plumsville, on the grounds of the country house."
"And you want me to approve that?" Her father asked.
"Yes." Lindsay replied.
"Well, Lindsay. I'd like to meet Kate before I approve anything of this nature." Her father replied.
"Whatever you want, but you better get here as fast as you can. Kate's time is very short." Lindsay replied. Her father just hung up without replying.
The following morning, William Donner arrived to Plumsville. On that morning, Kate developed fever again and Lindsay was upstairs when he arrived. It was Peter who opened the door, led him to the second floor and knocked on the door of Lindsay and Kate's room. Lindsay opened the door, looked at her father and waited for him to say something.
"Lindsay," Her father didn't move to hug her.
"Dad, how are you?" She asked.
"I'm fine. And your sister?"
"She feels very bad today. I don't think that you can see her right now."
"For how long did you hide from me the fact that you know about her?" His voice was firm.
"Almost four months." Lindsay replied.
"And you didn't think of telling me about it?"
"I had a very stressed time at work, dad." Now, Lindsay's voice was firm as well.
"And you couldn't find an hour to call your father? Nice system of values you have there, Lindsay."
"My system of values? What about yours? For 30 years you hide from me the fact that I am adopted and have a twin sister somewhere and then you come and tell me that my system of values is wrong?" Lindsay closed the door behind her, so Kate won't hear the conversation.
"Your mother and I made some choices that we thought would protect you, Lindsay."
"Don't get mom into it. You know just as well as I do, that she had no say in anything that happened at home."
"I'm your father, Lindsay and you won't talk to me like that." He said.
"You don't even act like I'm your daughter and suddenly you're my father?" Lindsay asked in rage.
"You are a brat, Lindsay. If your mom and I didn't take you in, you would probably be a whore and not a scientist. You have to appreciate everything you have and thank your parents, not turn against them."
"Oh, I appreciate everything I have. It's you who can't keep straight with me just for once."
"Lindsay, I have never done anything that could harm you. I kept some secrets from you, so you'll life will be protected and safe."
"What wrong could the fact that I'm adopted do if I knew it earlier?" Lindsay asked, trying to keep her anger down.
"We didn't want you to suffer from rejection and prejudice." Her father said quietly. "If people knew that you were adopted, they would ban you. Their children wouldn't be allowed to play with you, just because your biological mother rejected you. We didn't want you to be a lonely child."
"Then why did you hide it for 30 years? Why didn't you tell me when I was old enough to understand that a thing like that couldn't come out?" Lindsay's eyes were full of tears.
"Because I didn't trust you to keep it to yourself. You proved to me that you couldn't be trusted with secrets." William said. Lindsay could feel her heart sink inside her. Even now, after all the time that passed, he still didn't trust her.
"I don't even want to have this conversation with you, dad. Obviously, you can't admit of your guilt."
"You didn't call me because you wanted an admission of guilt, did you?" Her father said. "Now, instead of arguing, let's act like grown ups. Shall we?" Lindsay nodded and looked at him.
"Will you let Kate be buried here?" Lindsay asked.
"I would like to meet her first."
"Well, she's in there, but let me ask her if she feels well enough to accept visitors." Lindsay replied, still feeling a little bit angry at her father. She opened the door and went back into the room she shared with Kate. Her sister was awake and wrote something in her journal.
"Linds," She said slowly. "Your father's here?" Lindsay nodded and sat on the bed, next to Kate.
"Do you feel good enough to meet him?"
"Yes, I do. Were you two fighting?" Kate looked worried.
"Yes, we have to fix some matters between us, but don't worry about it. It'll be fine." Lindsay wrapped her arm around her sister's shoulders. "Dad, you can come in!" She called and her father entered the room. "Katie, this is my father, William Donner. Dad, this is Kate Weston."
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Donner." Kate sent her hand forward. He shook it.
"The pleasure is mine." He replied. Lindsay observed them, hoping that her father wasn't going to disappoint Kate. "I'm very sorry to hear that you're so sick. Lindsay told me that you wanted to be buried here, in Plumsville, on the grounds of the house." Lindsay hated his formality. He always dealt people with such coldness as if he was superior.
"Yes. I do." Kate replied and held her breath. William Donner looked at her and then at Lindsay.
"You can be buried wherever you wish." He replied slowly.
"Really?" Lindsay asked in surprise. Her father nodded. "Katie!" Lindsay called loudly and hugged her sister who started crying.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Donner." Kate said, her eyes were teary and she clung to Lindsay's body.
"You're welcome." Kate didn't notice his cold tone, but Lindsay knew that he didn't mean it. He went out of the room and closed the door behind him.
"Katie," Lindsay rocked her sister back and forth as if she was a little girl. "Don't cry. You've got it."
"Lindsay, thank you so much for what you're doing. You are such an amazing person." Kate sobbed. Lindsay sat there quietly, holding Kate and not letting go.
The next morning, Lindsay woke up with a bad feeling. She couldn't point it, but she felt that something bad was about to happen. She observed Kate all morning long, but she seemed to feel good and not have pains. Her father left the previous day without saying goodbye and didn't answer the phone. Towards noon, Lindsay started feeling a little bit better, mainly because nothing bad happened. She and Kate went for a short walk. The sun started going down over the forest and colored the sky with orange and purple.
"So did you think of a specific place where you'd like to be buried?" Lindsay asked.
"Not yet. I'm working on it." Kate replied. "You can't even imagine how grateful I am to you and your father, Lindsay."
"You don't have to be." Lindsay replied.
"But I am. You are doing so much for me and I'll never find the right words to thank you." Suddenly Lindsay's bad feeling came back and this time she knew what was wrong. Kate was trying to hide the fact that she wasn't feeling well. Somehow, Lindsay knew that her time was running out faster than she thought and it scared her.
"Kate, what about Jenna?" Kate looked surprised at the question.
"What about her?"
"You have to tell her about your condition. Prepare her for what's coming." Lindsay replied.
"You're right. We will tell her tonight, before she goes to sleep." Kate touched Lindsay's jaw with one finger. "Thank you."
"It's nothing, really." Lindsay replied.
"The sky is so beautiful. Look at all the colors and shades. I feel like I'm in a fairytale. Lindsay, I love this place." Kate said. "It would be so peaceful to die here." Lindsay didn't reply. "You'll come to visit me with Jen?"
"Whenever my work will allow me. I have a pretty tight schedule."
"Tight schedule? What about Jenna? Where will she fit in your schedule?" Kate asked.
"Don't worry. I won't neglect her. I'll make sure that I spend time with her and that she'll be okay. Maybe I'll home school her, that way, she'll always be next to me. Even when I travel." Lindsay replied.
"Travel?"
"My work requires traveling. I don't stay in one place for a long time. I'll take her with me wherever I go, okay? Just don't be worried." Lindsay reassured Kate.
"Are you sure you'll be able to handle it, Lindsay? I can ask Clint to become her guardian if you think it's gonna be too hard to…"
"Katie, don't worry. I swear that I will be the best mother I can be for her."
"The best mother?" Kate raised her eyebrow.
"You know what I meant. Mother figure." Lindsay explained.
"You know, there's a lot of paper work to be done. I spoke with my lawyer a month ago. You have to sign some forms. My lawyer will send them to you after I die."
"What kind of forms?"
"My lawyer will explain everything to you. After I'll die."
"I don't like it when you use this expression."
"Lindsay, I will die and we both know that. We'll have to face it." She could see Lindsay's tears falling down her face. "Don't cry, Linds. I want you to celebrate my life and not mourn them. I lived and I have to die."
"You don't understand, Kate. You can't die. I need you to live." Lindsay sniffled. "I want you to live." Kate embraced her.
"Lindsay, thanks to you, I lived more than Clint or I expected. You brought me to this wonderful place, took wonderful care of me, gave me some time to make peace with myself and so much more." Kate wiped Lindsay's tears.
"But I'm scared, Kate. I'm scared of losing you like that. For years I wanted to have a sister and when I finally found out that I have you, you're terminally ill. I thought it was a fairytale, but it turned to be a horror story, Kate."
"Linds, you'll have to go on. Please go on for me and for Jenna. She'll need you and I want you to do it for yourself as well. Things are easier when you go on with your life." Kate kissed her sister's cheek.
"I can't. I have had too many loses. To many times I just stood there and did nothing about it, but not this time, Kate. I won't let you give up so easily. You have people who need you: Clint, Jenna and me. We need you to live for us. And I know that even now, you can fight it if you want. You can go to the hospital and get chemotherapy and do anything you can to live." Lindsay's voice was desperate.
"Lindsay, there is a reason why I never started getting chemotherapy. I've been a doctor for few years and I have seen what it does to the patients. They lose hope and suffer so much pain, physical and mental. I don't wanna go through this, especially when I know that I don't have more than few days to live."
"I know that you can stand any pain in the world. I know you can go through it if you want." Lindsay begged.
"I know, but I won't go through this pain. I don't want to lose my hair, wake up with nausea and stomach ache every morning, live on morphine, lose weight and put Jenna through this. This is not something you go through on your own. Your whole family suffers with you." Kate said, her arms still around Lindsay's body. "Lindsay, you have to accept the fact that it's too late for me. I know you don't like that, but living in an illusion that something can be done to save me is wrong. You will end up blaming yourself, blaming your friends, blaming Clint… There's no one to blame, Linds. Rob blamed himself for not noticing the symptoms and look what happened to him." She paused for a moment and caressed Lindsay's face with the back of her hand. "Linds, you are so dear to me, I don't want you to be hurt by this situation. You're allowed to be sad. I am sad too, but try to make the best out of it." Lindsay's head was buried under Kate's chin and she was sobbing. "If crying makes you feel better, cry all you want. I'm still here to hold your hand, but know that I want you to live the life I can't live. Live for me. And whenever you wanna talk, even after I'm gone, just speak, wherever you are, I'll be there with you. I want Jenna to know that as well."
"She will, Kate." Lindsay mumbled through her tears. Kate wrapped one arm around Lindsay's shoulder and they started walking back to the house. The sky was almost completely dark and the air started getting colder.
"It will be okay. You'll do just fine." Kate patted on her sister's shoulder when they stood in front of the house. "Do you think you can be in the room when I tell Jen what's going on?"
"Yeah, I will." Lindsay sniffled and dried her tears with the sleeve of her jacket.
"Thank you." Kate mouthed the words softly. Then she took Lindsay's hand and they entwined their fingers and they went into the house.
It was almost when Lindsay felt a cold hand touching her face and waking her up. She opened her eyes slowly, looking to her side and saw that Kate wasn't there.
"Who is it?" She whispered, almost breathless.
"It's Peter. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He said slowly.
"Where's Katie? Is she okay?" Lindsay threw the blanket to the side of the bed and got out of bed.
"She's fine. She's downstairs. It was hard for her to sleep after the two of you told Jenna about the cancer. She said that she needed to do some thinking." Peter said. It was then that Lindsay noticed that she was standing close to him.
"If she's fine, then what are you doing here?" Lindsay asked, suddenly remembering that she wasn't wearing much. Peter took her hand and they stood in the darkness, their bodies closer than ever.
"I needed to talk to you. I couldn't postpone it any longer." Peter touched her face. "Lindsay, we're good friends, right?"
"Yeah. You're my best friend, why?"
"The thing is… I saw you with Clint a couple of times and I suddenly understood that… that you are way more than a friend to me. Linds, I love you." Lindsay drew back.
"You can't… I mean, of course you can, but it can't be…" Lindsay couldn't find the right words. Peter moved closer and wrapped one arm around her waist.
"Lindsay, I can't change the way I feel. I am in love with you and since we came here, it's been torturing me." He brushed his lips on hers.
"Pete, we can't do that. We're like brother and sister. It would be wrong."
"But we're not a brother and a sister. We are way more than that. We can do whatever we want." She could feel his fingers sliding up and down her arm, sending excited shivers down her spine. "The only question is…" His lips caressed her ear. "Do you feel the same for me?" Lindsay nodded slowly. It was enough for Peter to start kissing her. Lindsay drew back fast. "What's wrong, Linds?"
"Kate can come into the room." Lindsay gasped and tried to ignore her body that cried for Peter's touch.
"Don't worry. She won't." Peter said. He pulled her close but she stopped him again.
"Did she have anything to do with this?"
"I don't know. Did she?" Peter teased her. "We can go to my room if you want."
"No. Peter, answer me seriously. Did Kate have anything to do with what you just told me? Is she trying to set me with you or something?" Peter put his thumb under her chin and looked straight into her eyes.
"No, she didn't. She has nothing to do with that." Peter replied. "She just wants you to be happy. She feels that you are too depended on her and she's scared of what's gonna happen to you after she dies." Peter's index finger stroked Lindsay's jaw.
"So she did try to…"
"Lindsay, no. I told her how I feel about you and she suggested that I go upstairs and tell you. She's just worried that you'll feel alone and scared after she dies and she wanted to make sure that you'll be all right." Lindsay started crying and buried her face in her palms.
"I should have known. I should have known, Pete. How come I didn't notice that she was so thin three months ago? She looked pale and tired and I completely ignored it. I should have known better. Oh, Pete…" He embraced her and rubbed her back. "Maybe something could be done then and now it's too late. Peter, why?" She sobbed.
"The million dollar question. Why." Peter said. "Lindsay, sometimes things happen for no reason. As a scientist, I try to believe that it isn't true, but sometimes it is." Lindsay raised her head. "You'll have to go on with your life, like you did when Connor died. There is no other choice. Jenna will need you to go through this as well."
"I think I want to go back to sleep now." Lindsay whispered and sat on the bed.
"Sure. Have a good night." He leaned forward and kissed her lips. Then he went out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Kate sat in the living room and wrote a journal entry. It was almost dawn and she looked at the room as the first sunrays came through the window and lighted the darkness. Her stomach started to hurt and a sickness rose in it. She went to the bathroom and threw up, but instead of vomit, blood came out. She looked at the viscous red liquid with terror. She knew what it meant and she was scared of it more than ever. The pain in her stomach started getting stronger and stronger every moment and she cried out. Slowly, she walked out of the bathroom and went out of the house, to the back porch. As she stood there, looking at the rising sun, she knew it was her last dawn. She remembered the poem Lindsay recited for her only a week earlier.
"And with the last sunray
The song ends
The guitar is silent
It had been put to bed
And it lies behind locked doors
Anticipating its next performance
That comes with dawn."
Suddenly she understood what the words meant. Her life was the song and she was the guitar. It was going to end so soon. Tears started falling on her face as the pain grew stronger and stronger, almost shaking the life out of her body. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and heard Lindsay's voice.
"What's wrong, Katie?"
"Hold me, Linds. Don't let go." Lindsay wrapped her arms around Kate's body and pulled her closer, feeling her sister's tears wetting her pajama shirt. She caressed Kate's sandy blond hair with the tips of her fingers. Kate's sobs started to weaken and Lindsay could hear her sister's heavy breath. "Linds, I wanna be buried as close as possible to your favorite spot." Kate gasped.
"Sure. You want me to take you there, so you can see it?" Lindsay replied, feeling her hands shaking.
"No, I trust you to choose a wonderful place for me." Kate said, still in Lindsay's arms.
"Let's sit down. You're a little bit pale." Lindsay sat on the stairs and Kate sat next to her and put her head on her sister's knees.
"I love you so much. You are the best sister I could ever ask for." Kate said and closed her eyes, falling asleep. Lindsay looked at her sister for a long moment. The rising sun colored the sky orange and purple and Lindsay looked at the color war that was taking lace in the sky for several moments.
"Katie, wake up. You've gotta see this. It's so beautiful." She gently shook her sister's shoulder. "Kate, honey?" Lindsay looked down at her sister. "Kate?" Tears welled in her eyes as she saw that her sister stopped breathing. "Katie, don't leave me. Kate! Please don't leave me!" She called out. "Kate!" She shrieked. Her tears fell on her sister's motionless face. "Kaaaaate!" She yelled in grief. Clint, Matt, Dana and Peter came out to the porch and stood behind her. "No…" Lindsay sobbed. Her arms clasped her sister's body. "Don't leave me…" Clint came closer to her and put two fingers on Kate's neck, to check her pulse. Tears filled his eyes when he couldn't feel it.
"I'm sorry, Lindsay." He could barely mouth those words. "I am so sorry." Lindsay's head was down and her forehead was touching Kate's. Peter came over and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Let her go, Linds. Let her go." He whispered. His eyes were teary as well.
"Kate…" Lindsay sobbed. The sun rose above them. A new day had come, but Kate wasn't there to see it.
THE END
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