Hi guys! Sorry for the lack of updates. My workload tripled, so I got depressed and bitter at the world. I know I said you guys were going to hate me for the next chapter. I even wrote a chapter that was really sad and terrible to Sakura and Kakashi, but then I got happy again. So, I rewrote it. I figured that if I was able to reconcile the things in my life, the characters in the story deserved the same chance.
Anyways, here is the next chapter. Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing!
Sakura sat on the back steps of the infirmary, her arms resting folded on her knees. Blood was splattered across the front of her white lab coat and speckled her bubblegum locks. A streak of crimson stood out against the pale cheek from where she had absentmindedly wiped away a strand of hair. A heavy sigh escaped her rosy lips, and she bowed her head down to rest on her folded arms.
Seven of the beds inside were now filled with Jounin that had accumulated over the last few hours. The eighth ninja had already been removed from the infirmary. The wound had been too deep, the blood loss too much, the time too long. Sakura hadn't been able to save him. He was the latest patient to die at the fort. He couldn't have been a day over sixteen.
As he lay dying, Sakura held his hand, knowing there was nothing she could do and hating herself even more for it. She had wiped the gathering beads of sweat from the furrowed brow and whispered soft words to sooth his mind. She had fought to hold back the tears as he asked her if he was going to live, already knowing the answer to the question. Sakura told him he would be fine and should just go to sleep for a little while. It hadn't been much later that his pulse stopped and his breathing ceased.
A drop of cool liquid splashed on Sakura's exposed hand, then her knee and sandaled foot. Soon the rain came down in a steady rhythm, soaking through her thin clothing and drenching her skin and hair. The effect of the drumming cold on her tired body was numbing, but Sakura found she couldn't pick herself up and trudge back into the infirmary. Despite the chill of the freezing rain that now racked her small frame, she remained sitting on the step.
Sayo peered down the hallway and out the open back door. She spotted the roseate kunoichi situated on the step just outside as the torrential downpour saturated her.
Sayo shook her head and frowned. She knew the death of that ninja wasn't the only thing eating away at Sakura. She grabbed a raincoat and draped it around her shoulders, heading toward the entrance. She waved a hand beckoning a blonde kunoichi checking one of the patient IVs.
"Matsuri," she whispered, "I'm going to head back to the barracks for the night. Can you keep an eye on things here?"
"Sure," the medic replied, her gaze trailing down the hall. "Is Sakura okay?"
"She's just a little upset," Sayo said, giving the worried kunoichi a sympathetic smile. "I'll see you in the morning."
A group of wary Jounin sat at the round table, staring at one another with hooded eyes and furrowed brows. The clock on the wall ticked away in time with the rain outside, creating a slightly hypnotic effect on the group. They had been in the meeting for the last several hours, debating on the course of action to take with all the recent attacks on border patrols, but had accomplished little in the way of a plan.
Finally, Shikamaru sat back in his chair and groaned in frustration. He folded his arms before him and frowned. "This meeting is pointless at the moment. No one can seem to agree on anything in this current state. You all look like crap, and Genma over there is ready to fall out of his chair."
Shikamaru pointed to the sandy-haired Jounin with his head and senbon resting on the table, drool pooling on the wooden surface. At the mention of his name, Genma's head perked up and his two drooping eyes peered around. "Huh?" Kakashi was sitting beside him, watching the disoriented ninja. He kicked Genma underneath the table, producing a yelp and an expletive.
"I think you all get the point," Shikamaru said flatly. "I say we call it quits for the night and reconvene tomorrow morning. All in favor?" Every hand in the room shot into the air with lightning speed, even Kakashi's. As much as he wished a decision had been reached, he was tired of sitting in that damn meeting room. Finally Shikamaru dismissed the group with a nod of approval.
Kakashi and Genma strolled lazily down the stairway leading to the entry room of the meeting hall. As they approached the entrance of the building Kakashi was dismayed to see that the rain, which had only sounded like a drizzle inside the inner hall, was in reality a torrential downpour. Sheets of frozen water pelted the ground and the passersby as they scurried along the road. Kakashi felt nothing but the uttermost sympathy for the ninja who were on duty that evening.
A sharp jab in his side caused Kakashi to glare over at Genma. The Jounin, however, was looking in a different direction. He nodded toward the figure wrapped in a draping green raincoat. Beads of liquid dripped from the hem of the material onto the concrete floor.
"It's that kunoichi that works with Sakura," Genma muttered out the corner of his mouth, "Sayo." He glanced over his shoulder at Kakashi. "Why the hell does she keep staring at you like that?"
Kakashi shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me."
"Well, don't just stand here," Genma said, pushing the Copy Ninja in the kunoichi's direction. "Go see what she wants." Kakashi glared at the cautious smirk on Genma's face and smiled to himself. The Jounin's toothpick was flicking back and forth rapidly, an indication that he was nervous.
Kakashi strolled over to Sayo, his exposed eye trained on her. She watched him carefully glancing at the ground every few moments as she thought out what she would say to him in her mind. When he stopped in front of her, she looked up and stared at him.
"You're Hatake Kakashi, right?" Kakashi nodded his response.
"And I believe you're Sayo." He replied. "Genma has told me so much about you. If I didn't know better, I'd say he's quite taken with you." He spoke just loud enough so the Jounin on the other side of the room could hear his words. The young medic began to blush and refused to look past Kakashi's shoulder at Genma, who had nearly fallen over in shock.
"I need to speak with you for a moment," she whispered. "It's about Sakura." Kakashi's head perked up at the sound of her name and his eye widened.
"What happened?" His voice was surprisingly low and casual, but Sayo could sense the slight tone of worry.
"She's not hurt or anything, at least physically." She stopped and thought a moment before continuing. "Sakura's been very … down lately. When I left the infirmary, she was out there, sitting in the freezing rain. She lost another patient here today and it upset her really bad. But…" She looked away.
"What is it?" Kakashi's voice was more urgent now.
"Look," she said, "I know that's not the only thing bothering her. Sakura told me all about what's been going on between you guys. I'm not the kind of person who interferes in someone else's personal life, but Sakura's my friend. She is totally miserable since you two stopped talking. She hasn't left the infirmary since I don't know when, and she has all her meals delivered to her so she doesn't have to go out. She watches that front door like a hawk, waiting to see if you're going to walk in. When she's not working, she sits in her room and stares at the pictures of you guys in her photo album. She's really hurt, Kakashi."
Kakashi glanced down at the floor and scratched at his head. Right about now he was feeling slightly ashamed and totally stupid for the way he had been acting. He had never expected Sakura to take it all so hard. A hand reached out to softly grip his shoulder. Sayo was looking at him again.
"She could really use a friend like you. She really needs you now." Sayo gave Kakashi an encouraging smile and handed him an umbrella. Kakashi numbly took the handle in his hand and walked over to the doors, looking back over his shoulder.
"But I need to shower and change first," he muttered dumbly.
"You better get going then," Sayo urged, pointing to the downpour outside.
He opened up the umbrella and set it firmly above his head, taking his first step into the curtain of rain. A moment later, he disappeared.
Genma leaned casually against the wall, smiling at the young kunoichi. He flicked his toothpick and showed her a set of pearly whites. She scowled at him as he sauntered over to her.
"Thanks for taking my advice and talking to Kakashi," the Jounin said in a kind and quiet voice. He stuck his hand out she grudgingly took it in her own.
"I only did it for Sakura," she murmured reluctantly, blushing and looking away. Genma chuckled quietly and placed an arm around her stiff shoulders.
"Come on, Sayo," Genma said, "I think I should buy you a drink."
Sakura stood in the small shower stall, the stunted length of the shower curtain revealing delicately pale shoulders now splotched with blushing red. She allowed the burning water emitting from the nozzle to drum on her drooping head and race down the straggly strands of bubblegum hair. She longed for the scolding liquid to scour her body and wash away the boy's blood, the sadness and sorrow she felt for him and herself, but mostly the recurring ache in her chest whenever she thought about Kakashi.
She had seriously considered walking over to his room that night. She knew Genma would be out for a time, so she wouldn't have to worry about him. It would have been so simple, to just sneak into the room and stand there in the darkness while her body adjusted to the absence of light. She would crawl into the bed beside Kakashi and…
And that would never happen. Although she couldn't understand why, the lack of words had said enough. If she were to push herself upon him, he would only react the way she hoped he would out of guilt and pity. So she had stayed in the infirmary, grieving alone as she always had.
She twisted the knob on the wall until the water came out in a drizzle, a sprinkle, and finally stopped. She grabbed the towel hanging on the rack and wrapped it around her dripping body before stepping out of the shower. A chill ran down the kunoichi's slender neck, but it wasn't just the sudden absence of the heat that brought it on.
Sakura sensed a familiar presence in the immediate area. Her heart skipped a beat, but she pretended not to notice anything. He would make his intentions known soon enough. That's how Kakashi was: he did everything in his own time.
She slid the door until it was half closed, just sufficient enough for privacy. The sound of music now floated in from the darkness of the bedroom. He must have found the radio on her desk. She dried off her skin, now covered in goose bumps from the cold air and surprise. Off came the towel and in its place a simple black camisole and matching shorts that had lain neatly folded on the sink counter.
She flicked off the lights and crept through the cracked door, still toweling at her damp tresses as she found her way to the shadow of her bed. This was a familiar routine to the kunoichi. She sat on the edge of the bed, reacquainting herself with the dark.
The figure of a man resting in the swiveling chair at the desk broke through the obscurity of the shadows. Sakura could distinguish the slightest glow of damp silver hair and bare glistening skin. From the little she could see, she determined Kakashi must have only donned a pair of dark sweat pants. He had even forgone his forehead protector and the black mask, the arch of his nose and smooth cheeks strangely in its place. His bare foot tapped in time with the rhythm of the low music drifting across the silence of the room.
The odd combination of crimson and raven met her own emerald eyes, studying her softly. She couldn't take it anymore; all this staring and waiting. She tossed the towel onto the floor and folded her arms protectively across her chest, regretting the absence of a bodice.
"What do you want?" The question was cold and casual in the roseate kunoichi's voice. Kakashi flinched slightly at the brazen tone Sakura had opted for. She must've been really angry to bypass the rage and skip right to such calm discourtesy.
"I came to see you," he said. Subtle warmth radiated from his staring eyes. Already, Sakura could feel her cold exterior melting down. She had never been one to hold a grudge and knew Kakashi would use this to his advantage. He leaned forward in the chair, picking up the discarded towel and drying his dripping hair.
"You're not wearing your mask," Sakura pointed out. Kakashi nodded as he rubbed a hand across his face.
"It's dark enough to go without one," he explained, though Sakura got the impression he was joking with her. "Besides," he said, "I figured I didn't need it if I was going to be here with you."
"Do you think I'm going to let you stay?" Her voice wavered as the words escaped her mouth. Kakashi could see his words were having the exact effect he intended. He folded the damp towel, hung it over the back of the chair, and shrugged.
"I wouldn't blame you if you kicked me out right about now," he admitted. "I will go if you want me to. But I just wanted to let you know… I'm sorry."
Sakura gripped her knees as the protective barricade was swept away on a flood of emotions. Her eyes burned with hurt and fury brought on by the breakdown and bore into Kakashi. Contempt, then anxiety, then relief were exposed in the gaze. Sakura closed her eyes tight and shook her head. "You've got some nerve, coming here and expecting me to forgive you."
Kakashi glanced at Sakura. "I don't expect anything from you," his whispered huskily into her ear. The blood was rushing to the kunoichi's cheeks.
"I'm so tired, Kakashi," she heaved, "Of fighting enemies and death; of battling emotions and you; everything. You better not be screwing around with me. I'm so tired my body can hardly move, and my brain can hardly care. So, if you came here expecting to catch me off guard and vulnerable to some kind words, you've got another thing coming."
"I would never do that to you," Kakashi replied, his voice repentant and gentle. "It's been a long time since I let myself feel this way about anyone; a woman, especially. I panicked, if you can believe it. I knew there was a war coming, and here I was falling for my former student and dearest friend. I kept thinking that I should just end it; that would be the best course of action."
"I'm not as young as I used to be, Sakura. Sometimes, I look at the younger ninja and wonder when the day will come that they will surpass me in strength and skill. I didn't want you to fall in love with me just so I could come here and die and leave you all alone. I remember how you were after Sasuke died, and I hated him for getting himself killed. I… I didn't want to be another Sasuke."
"Don't hate him," Sakura whispered, "I don't. It's my own fault that I decided to love him, just like I decided to love you. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."
"I don't want to hurt you," Kakashi replied.
"I would rather suffer an eternity of heartache than a lifetime without it, as long as I knew that you loved me."
"Then I guess I have no choice," Kakashi said, standing up and stretching. Sakura turned her face away, knowing what was coming next. She waited for another apology, the sound of the door clicking open and shut, but it never came. Instead, Kakashi sat down beside Sakura on the edge of the bed, his bare arm pressed against hers.
"I love you."
Sakura turned to gaze at him, surprise apparent in her wide eyes. Those were the last words she had expected from the Copy Ninja. He was so close to her now as he had been that night on her porch, yet he still used the darkness to his advantage. She could not define his face. But Sakura did not care. It was enough that he was here with her.
She let him slip a hand around her back, closing the distance between them. His touch sent shivers down her spine, and she rested a delicate hand on his exposed chest to steady herself. The muscles rippled beneath her fingers as he drew her into an embrace. After a moment, Sakura found her hands entwining around Kakashi's middle.
The kunoichi blinked her eyes as she fought to hold back the tears now pooling in her eyes, finding that she was failing miserably. She buried her burning face into Kakashi's neck as she experienced the foreign sensation of the warm liquid flowing freely down her face and onto his skin. How long had it been since the last time she had cried? It had been long enough that Sakura could not recall. She felt so stupid crying now.
Strong arms lifted her up and carried her to the bedside. She clung desperately to Kakashi's neck, afraid that if she let go, even for a moment, he would disappear. He pulled back the blankets and awkwardly slid beneath them with Sakura still clinging to him.
Kakashi gently kissed the furrowed brow and trembling lips, lingering there momentarily as Sakura attempted to return the kiss. He shushed and cooed at her sobs. His fingers caressed her tear-stained face and combed through the damp bubblegum hair consolingly. He held Sakura in his arms long after her whimpering had ceased and her breathing stabilized with the advent of sleep.
Rain drummed against the glass window panes in the early morning hours and roused Sakura from her doze. Sometime during the course of the night the chilly autumn air had permeated the walls of the room and crept into Sakura's bed.
Emerald eyes snapped open as her hands searched for the heat of the body that had lain beside her hours ago, only to discover cold expanse of sheets. Sakura pulled the blanket closer around herself as she realized Kakashi was gone. She wondered briefly if she had dreamed everything up.
She turned on her side to face the empty vastness of the bed, on the verge of tears at her foolish thoughts, and spotted something positioned on the pillow. Sitting up and shivering slightly at the cold, she picked up the object and rested it square in the palm of her hand. There was no doubt in the kunoichi's mind that it was Kakashi's handiwork. Sakura smiled down at the intricately folded figure.
It was a paper crane.
Thanks again for reading. Reviews are welcomed.
On a sidenote, I also started writing my next story. I'm going to wait a little while to post it, though. If you like Yondaime, then you will probably like this story. It will probably turn out a bit more serious than this story, based on a forbidden romance. I really plan to put a lot of effort into it. If you have any suggestions, then e-mail me. Sometimes, it's nice to know what readers want in a story. You never know, you just might see it :)
Thanks again!