Title: Nice Guy
Author: Hieiko
Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairings: Xander/Buffy, hints of Buffy/Angel and Angel/Xander
Disclaimer: I don't own BtVS.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death. Maybe even bashing.
Notes: Written for the multifandomlf challenge for the song "If I Fall", by Aqualung.
Summary: Post - Chosen. AU. Dark humor. Xander Harris muses on some twists and turns in his life.

I'm one of the few guys on this earth who can honestly say that I was swept away when I first met my wife. Well, okay, I fell off my skateboard. Anyway, the lady in question? Hot. And was also wearing a miniskirt. Can't blame a guy for looking. I was sixteen, and male. (Not that I'm not still male now. What I meant was, I had the excuse of teenage hormones.)

Unfortunately, looking was about all I could do, 'cause the pretty girl was in no way interested in the Xan-man. It kinda hurt to be turned down by the Buffster. I really liked her. But, you know, turns out that she wasn't the only girl who had an eye in my direction. Plus, these girls weren't looking at me and seeing Xander Harris, the funny best friend. May I be a little disloyal here, but Buffy kinda isn't at the top of the list if I'm gonna compare all of these ladies in terms of hotness. There was Cordelia, and Faith. Even Willow, who turned gorgeous when I wasn't paying attention. Of course, that didn't mean I got over Buffy just like that. Buffy was... well, special. And not just because she's the Chosen One. There's just something about her that you can't put into words.

The wonder of it all was that when I was really, honest-to-goodness, ready to give up, Buffy finally saw how much I cared. It's almost weird to think that it took her all those years, but when she realized the truth, she seemed so amazed that I could still love her after everything. Things were awkward when we started out; we were best friends, after all. But she wasn't Willow, and we weren't anymore the kids that we used to be, so it worked out eventually. It was nice, and we were happy.

The day we got married, I even told myself, "This is exactly where I dreamt I would be." Yeah, yeah. I know it was sappy, but I couldn't help it. She was the girl of my dreams.

Someone said once that all good things come to an end. It didn't really take long for our good thing to end. Was I really that dumb that I never saw it coming? Wait a second, I'd rather not hear the answer to that.

It all started when a certain broody vamp announced that his curse was lifted, and his soul was permanent. Big deal! So are the souls of five billion other people on the planet. And the five billion are actually people. Not that that mattered to my dear wife. Well, she did tell me that it didn't change things.

She lied.

But I didn't realize it, until... until it turned out that perfect Angel's little curse was still very much there. Which, of course, made his soul pretty much... not. Three guesses who he went horizontal with. And now I need to wash out my brain from those images. Not that I'm complaining about it. Much. Sure, I still hate the guy, but we have more of a love-hate relationship now... and I just sounded kinda gay, didn't I? I heard that was a thing with sires and their childer, though.

Damn. I knew I forgot something. I should have made Buffy a vampire. But she probably would have kicked my ass all over the place, and then macked on Angelus. Guess I made the right decision, after all. Besides, I'm a nice guy, remember? She'll be grateful that she's back in heaven.

I think I want to change my name. Don't sires usually like new names? Maybe I can ask Angelus for suggestions.
Or maybe I better not, unless I want to end up with a girly name.