CSI: Don't Let Me Dream
What happens after the crime, can be as bad as the crime itself.
CSI is the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS, and is only being borrowed. I promise to give all the characters back when I'm done, unless Les Moonves pulls his stupidity on the cast members again-then all bets are off! Just kidding.
Spoilers:Thru Season 5 finale-Thank you QT for a good one, too. And now...
Gil Grissom was tired.
So tired his head pounded, and his eyelids twitched.
But he couldn't close his eyes, not yet. Not until he knew he wasn't going to dream.
Especially here at work, with the events of the past month still echoing in his mind.
Lifting his head, he saw that his door was closed and the shades were drawn, and a rueful smile appeared on his face.
"I don't even remember doing that, must have left it from yesterday." He mused, then decided with a burst of weary determination, that he'd just close his eyes for 20 minutes.
Stiffly getting up from his desk and the paperwork he hadn't touched, Grissom made his way to the newly refurbished sofa along the rear wall of his office. He'd accidentally torn a hole in one of the cushions last week during one of his "dreams", so instead of buying a new one, the county had just had it reupholstered. Now there was less give in the cushions, just the way he liked it for his back.
As he lay down, he felt a surge of fear; he couldn't stand it if it happened again. But already his eyelids were closing, and he let out a shuddering breath.
Please, God, don't let me dream it again.
Down the hall Sara came out of the break room, then paused, gathering her newfound courage in hand.
She would go see Gris, and tell him how she felt, then make him see he had to fish or cut bait, as Nick had once said. It couldn't wait until after hours, when he might duck and run.
As Sara approached his door, she noticed the shades were drawn and the light was dimmed.
"Oh great, he's slipped out, well…." She started to turn around, then heard a noise.
Not a noise, his voice. Grissom's voice.
"Sara, no, let her out. Please."
It was almost a sob, and Sara's heart froze with fear. "Grissom…."
She yanked open the door, then closed it immediately behind her, as she saw in the half-light he was breathing erratically.
"Gris?" She knelt down beside him, then started to reach her hand out, only to draw it back as he seemingly changed nightmares.
"Nick, don't move, we'll find you, just don't do it, oh, God!" The words escaped his lips in a moan, then a half-cry erupted.
"No!"
Sara grabbed onto Grissom's hands as they started to flail, then held on tightly.
"Gris, it's all right, he's safe, I'm safe." She said in an urgent tone.
His mouth opened, then she repeated "I'm safe, we're all right."
A long sigh escaped him, then his eyes hesitantly opened, not trusting what they would see.
"Sara?"
An uncertain smile appeared on her face, and Gris blinked up at her, then a faint turn of his mouth made her realize he was glad to see her.
"I'm here, Gris. You were having a nightmare. It's okay." She reassured him, then he gave her an embarrassed look.
"I'm sorry, Sara, I hope I didn't scare you, just a bad dream……" he mumbled, trying to figure out how to escape the situation.
"Shhh, it's okay." Sara forgot herself and placed a finger on his lips.
Sara's action did more to calm Grissom then mere words. Instinctively he covered her hand with his, then kissed it.
Time stood still.
"He knows, he knows, he knows….." Sara's heart started to race, then she overbalanced and nearly toppled onto him.
Instinctively he reached up and caught her. "Sara, here…" he said, then sitting up, pulled her onto the sofa next to him.
"Okay?" He asked, then his breath stuck in his throat as she again smiled at him.
"I'm fine, but, Gris, how long have you been having nightmares about ….us."
Immediately he wanted to say "what nightmares?", but with Sara's face right in front of him, his defenses were too weak to pretend any longer. At least to her.
"A couple of weeks. I…..haven't slept good in a couple of weeks." He admitted almost ashamedly.
"Oh, Gris……and here you've been making all of us talk, and fighting for us to get back together, and you…." A flash of anger in her eyes let him know she was gearing up for a fight, and he took a chance.
"Didn't think about healing myself." He interrupted, taking her hand and enfolding it in his.
The flare of emotion died as fast as it started, replaced by the knowledge that it was he who was in need this time.
"Gris….if there's anything I learned, is that you can't ….go it alone on this." Sara told him gently. "Please, let me, let us help you. God knows Nick couldn't have walked in these doors, let alone worked out in the field without you being there. And Warrick, and Catherine, and Greg, for goodness sakes, Greg alone…."
"And you?" Gris's thumb made little circles on her hand as she met his suddenly very shy eyes.
"Me, especially."
Grissom's heart did a little thump.
"Okay, but how do I do this?" he whispered.
A knock at the door seemingly answered him, as it was followed by Nick's voice.
"Gris?"
Sara looked at Grissom. Swallowing hard, he nodded.
Before he changed his mind, Sara got up and opened the door, to discover Nick, Warrick and Greg in the hallway. All three had varying expressions of guilt and curiosity.
"Sorry, Sara." Nick spoke first, as it was his own idea to figure out what the two of them were doing with the door closed.
"It's okay, Sara, have the guys come in, is Catherine with them?" Gris sounded like he wanted to laugh.
"Right here, Gil. Where were you, shift starts in five minutes." The flame-haired woman peered over Warrick's shoulder.
"Gil, what is it? Are you having a migraine?" Catherine's tone turned sympathetic as she took in his disheveled look.
He shook his head as the four CSI's filed in and Sara closed the door.
"I only wish it was that simple, it's…." Grissom stopped, then Nick got an inkling of he was dealing with.
Dropping down to one knee, he looked Gris in the eye. "Is it because of what happened to me, my kidnapping?"
Greg and Warrick looked at each other, relieved at the matter-of-factness of their friend's tone.
"Partly that, partly because of another…situation." Gris dared to look at Sara, then saw her take a deep breath.
"I was attacked by a patient at the mental hospital, two months ago, when we had to investigate a murder. The guy locked me in with him and was going to cut my throat. Gris…had to stand and watch until security unlocked the door and let me out."
Grissom was proud she was able to look at the others as she told them this. Still, there was a painful silence before Warrick broke ranks and enveloped her in a hug.
"Damn, Sara. Why didn't you tell us, say something before this!" he lamented.
Sara let herself relax in her friend's arms for a moment, before pulling away, a grateful smile in her eyes.
"I couldn't before, it was too painful. After what happened to Nick….." she took a deep breath, and squeezed his shoulder. "I realized I wasn't at fault, I was doing my job and I didn't deserve to be a victim."
"That's the girl." Catherine put an arm around the younger woman, then stared down at Grissom.
"All right, Gil. What do we need to do to help you."
Moments later Grissom was stretched out on the sofa, embarrassed but touched that his team, his friends wanted to get him through his nightmare.
Sara took his hand as Greg turned down the lights, then they sat around and waited.
"You know, a watched pot never boils." Greg broke the mood, uncomfortable at seeing his mentor being put through this.
"Save it, Greg. But thanks for the proverb." Gris's voice was tinged with humor, then a yawn escaped him as Sara gently rubbed his hand.
Within a few minutes their leader was quietly snoring, and Nick and Warrick exchanged looks, knowing if he was going to have a nightmare, it would happen now.
Suddenly Grissom's breathing quickened, then he started to talk, at first very low, so that they could only make out one or two words.
"Hold on, Nicky, hold on, that's it, wait, oh no, oh no, don't, no, we're coming….No!"
At once Nick changed places with Sara, calmly telling the unconscious man "Gris, I'm okay, I'm safe, you found me, you and the others. I….I didn't shoot myself."
There was a relaxing of Grissom's taut face, then he began to moan again. "Open the door, don't hurt her, please. Open the door, open it, break it if you have to, No, Sara!"
Sara grabbed his hand again. "Gris, Gris, listen to me, I'm safe, they opened the door, he didn't hurt me, remember? You didn't leave me, you made sure I was all right."
Slowly Grissom's breathing slowed, then he began to twist and turn on the sofa, as if in pain.
"Bugs, not bugs, anything but bugs. God, no, don't let the ants get me, Don't let the ants get me!" he called out frantically, then the others realized he thought he was in the glass coffin.
"Gris, it's all right, the ants aren't going to get you, you're here, with us." Warrick placed a hand on his arm reassuringly, then the tension started to leave Grissom's body.
Greg stood watching, licking his lips nervously. Abruptly he stepped forward, and put a hand on Grissom's shoulder.
"We're back, Grissom. We won't be separated again. Our team is together again."
At once Grissom began to stir, then his eyes opened.
"Gil?" Catherine wiped her eyes as he focused on her, then on each of them.
"I'm okay." He said at last, his eyes relieved. Instantly she embraced him, then Nick and Warrick and Greg took their turn. Finally Sara hugged him, and felt his arms come around her.
"I'm proud of you, Sara. Thank you." He whispered in her ear, and she blushed.
Straightening up, she watched as Gris got off his sofa. He looked at each of them, knowing that a weight was off his mind and his heart. He still had some issues to deal with, but he wasn't afraid of what he'd see when he closed his eyes.
"Thank you for doing this for me. Now, let's go take care of business." He said at last.
As Warrick and Nick and Greg ambled down the hall, Catherine hung back for a moment.
"Are we okay, Gil?" she asked, then was surprised when he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"We're good, Cat." He replied, then grinned as she nodded and followed the others.
As Sara stood by the door, Grissom self-consciously tucked in his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair, then saw her staring at him.
"What?"
Tongue-tied, she gazed at him, then whispered, "I wish you'd let me do that."
There, she said it. It was now or never.
"I wish I could let you. Maybe….after shift?"
Gris decided it was now or never, too.
He met her eyes with his, then she nodded.
"Breakfast?"
"Yes. Then sleep." At once it was Gris's turn to blush, and Sara couldn't help herself.
"I could go for that." She grinned.
"Come on, honey, before I forget where we are." He groaned, then took her hand and led her out of his office. As they went into the break room they dropped hands, aware of the knowing smiles facing them.
And not minding one bit.
Fin