Authors Note: I don't own anything - well, except my story line - but no characters or FFX2, okay? )

Anyways, you guys, thankyou so much for all the wonderful reviews! I just got back from vaycay with no internet connection -ARRRGHHH! - but I'm here now and your reviews warmed my resolve to update. Honestly, I've been home for less than an hour - I haven't even unpacked yet! But, as always, read and review!

Enjoy!

Memories

After running for fifteen minutes or so, I had to stop – I could hardly catch my breath. I looked around me. I became aware that it was no longer sunset.

The stars shone brightly in the Bikanel, far from the lights at Home. I had a lot of thinking to do, but I didn't know where to start. The fight with Brother was too childish – even for the two of us. Me running from Buddy the way I had… He'd always been there for me, a friend I could count on. Just because he's testing out his therapeutic powers doesn't mean he was attacking me personally, just that he's too full of himself for his own good.

Then running from Gippal like that… What was I thinking? I plopped down onto a sand dune, elbows on knees, head in hands and pouting.

"I just… oh, I don't know." I felt very stupid talking to myself out loud, partly because it made me feel a bit crazy, but mostly because I couldn't shake the feeling someone was listening and thinking I was crazy.

I knew why I'd ran away from Gippal, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. Gippal has made me extremely uncomfortable when we'd been alone together for almost five years…

A hot blast of desert air hit my face as I burst out of the doors of the original Home, screaming so loudly, my throat felt as if it were bleeding.

Behind me came my brother, cursing in Al-Bhed. He wasn't running, though. Actually, he wasn't doing much of anything except talking to himself in shock, apparently.

I collapsed in the sand as I desperately tried to remember the sound of my mother's voice, this… melody that I would never again hear in life. I could remember her smile, and her eyes – the way she looked all the time. I remembered every detail of every article of clothing I'd ever seen her in as well as her smile… I remembered the sound of her footsteps to tell me 'good night' and the way she smelt…

Just not her voice.

I started sobbing into my hands and threw myself onto the sand in the fetal position. I couldn't bear to hear silence or anything else except the sound of my own crying. As long as I was crying, something might change.

As long as I was crying, this wasn't happening. Sand was al over my face and in my eyes, but I couldn't make myself wipe it off of me. I needed to feel something.

I don't know how long I stayed on the ground or even if anyone tried to move me, but I do remember a soft hand on my shoulder.

"Rikku? Are you okay?" a voice asked.

I cried louder in response.

I felt pressure on my back for a second, which told me the voice was sitting down beside me. The voice stayed there for a long time, rubbing my back in silence, offering comfort through its presence. Of course, I knew who it was – my best friend.

I sniffled and after a few seconds succeeded in controlling my tears long enough to speak. "Gippal…"

"Yeah?"

"…Why did this happen to her?"

He picked his hand up off of my back, obviously surprised I would ask him such a thing I knew he had no answer to.

After a moment, though, "You know if I knew I'd tell you. I wish I knew what to say to make it better for you, but I think the only thing to do is to offer you a shoulder to lean on, or cry on, or scream at if you want," he said with a faint smile, "but just know that, okay?" He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead at this point, which normally would have been a very strange thing for him to do, but under the circumstances, I let him keep his limbs in tact.

I nodded. "Thanks." I sat up and halfway dusted the sand off of the right side of my body, before looking back at Home. My eyes welled up with tears. "She'll never come through those doors again… Never."

Gippal patted my shoulder. He was obviously at a lack for words. After a moment, I had to fill the silence.

"Where…. Is my daddy?" that was the first and last time I ever called Pop that.

"I'm not sure."

"Well…" I started, tears rolling down my face, "I need to find him. Could you maybe see if Brother's okay, please, Gippal?"

He nodded with a sad, half-smile. "Sure thing."

A day or so later, I met my Uncle Braska for the first time in my life. I was very frightened of the three men (Braska, Sir Auron, and Sir Jecht) at first, because I didn't know who they were. Most of Spira hated the Al-Bhed already at this point. Their clothing and weapons were very intimidating so, naturally, I wondered why they were here.

I found out soon enough that my Uncle was to Send my mother to the Farplane. Everyone in Home came to see, and everyone cried. My father held one of my hands and one of Brother's hands. He tried as hard as he could to hold back the tears that inevitably rolled down his cheeks, but he acted as if he hadn't noticed.

The "dance" for the Sending was beautiful and horrifying. I saw pyreflies and flashes of light, and, just like that, it was done. My father released my hand as he got up to approach Uncle Braska. I looked after him for a moment and decided I wanted to go to bed.

I had bags under my eyes and looked as if I hadn't slept or eaten in days. I needed rest. By this point in time, I wasn't crying anymore – I was just 'there'. I felt as if my mother may never have existed and this was all a delusion. I felt confusion and pain, but they were directed at nothing in particular. The just 'were'.

I finally reached my quarters when I smelt the familiar smell of oregano. I looked behind me and saw Gippal, who had leaned up against a wall as if he were waiting for something.

"Hey", he said, as if reading my mind, "I was waiting on you. You okay?"

I nodded at him and opened my door. I didn't, however, shut it behind me.

Gippal walked in. "Do ya want me to leave you alone?"

I looked up at his face, which was full of worry and a discernable desire to be of some sort of help. Everyone was looking for someway to be useful to my family these days, but just the same, I did need something…

I shook my head and motioned for him to sit beside me on the bed. "Gippal… I…", I started reluctantly, "… I can't remember what my mom's voice sounded like. Is that bad?"

Gippal's parents had both died when we were around five and six, so I felt as if I could ask him anything now and he'd understand.

"Hmmm… I'm not sure. I remember too little about either one of mine to know what I forgot first, you know? But, if I remember something about forgetting, I'll let you know." At this he leaned in to push me a little, signifying a joke.

I managed a very small, sad smile at the floor when he did this.

"Hey! I gotcha to smile, huh?" He laughed. "See? I told you I'm the best."

I looked up at Gippal then, smiling in spite of everything he'd been through and everything that was going on. His smile was warm and genuine and I wanted nothing more than to feel warm again.

He must have noticed a change in my eyes. He became very aware of how close we were,probably at the same time as I did, but he didn't move. His smile faded to a serious expression as he looked into my eyes. As our faces inched closer together, I felt a sensation – as if something wonderful were about to happen. He closed his eyes and then I closed mine. For about half of a second, I felt a jolt of electricity as I received my first kiss.

Then… it was over.

Gippal was walking out the door.

"Wha-?" I started.

Gippal turned to me and shook his head. "I'm sorry."

I looked up from the sand at the stars in the sky and a tear escaped the corner of my eye. I wasn't sure if it was because of thinking of my mother, or if it was because I was thinking of… Nevermind.

Brother was right. My best friend ditched me then and Yuna, Paine and Tidus have all ditched me now. Nobody wanted me around. I was so completely and utterly alone.

Another tear fell onto the sand as I stood up clumsily.

Just then, I heard something behind me.

It wasn't until that exact second until I remembered something. Something important.

Realizing how dangerous the Bikanel is at night, I reached for my daggers before grasping the fact that I didn't have them. They were in my room… all the way back Home.

I turned around slowly, glimpsing the colors purple and gold – I was in big trouble.

The Lightening Drake appeared on the horizon of a close-by sand dune and locked it's gaze onto me.

I backed away slowly, my eyes never leaving those teeth. I thought about making a run for it, but it was too late. The little chance I had just had of getting away was obliterated by a sudden charge on the Drake's part. As I opened my mouth to scream, the sound of a machina gun being fired came out.

Even more strange, the Drake was now on the sand, three feet in front of me, withering away to pyreflies.

"What in hell was th-?"

"You turning into Nooj or something?"

Gippal was standing a good ten yards from me holding a viscous looking machina. "Whatdaya' mean, 'Nooj'?"

"Well, you gotta figure a smart girl such a yourself comes into the Bikanel at night without being armed must be a Deathseeker, you know?" He finished, throwing me a smaller gun, which I barely caught.

I thought a moment on how to respond.

"Well?" Gippal said impatiently.

I scowled at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, fine, then don't, but you're dad's going to be pissed if you don't get back to Home in like… oh, NOW."

As much as I would have liked to have lit into Gippal, I knew he was right. Pop would be pissed. I had to get back. But why? I guess because I'm a good worker. I fought back a wave of self-pity.

"Okay," I said," let's go." Gippal was looking at me, trying to decide if he was going to start an argument with me or not.

Finally, "Fine, but I'll go first."

I rolled my eyes at the back of his head.

We had been walking for about five minutes in silence when Gippal said, "Hey, Rikku, I'm sorry for being rude to ya' just now."

I was pleased. "It's okay", I said.

"But, listen," he continued, "What were you running from me for?"

I stopped dead. I was tempted to scream at him about everything I had been thinking about on that Dune, but he wouldn't have understood the connection.

So… There is a connection, then? The voice said.

I dunno. Prolly so. Isn't there a connection for everything? Hey, wait, are you Yuna's voice or something? Connections?

A small chuckle No. That's not important. What is important is the connection.

Right. But why?

I can't say.

I groaned mentally. Now you sound like Shinra.

You'll figure it out. I'll make sure.

"Ummm… space cadet Rikku? Come in?"

"Oh", I said apologetically, "I'm sorry. What?"

Gippal let out a sigh. "What were you running from me for, I said?"

I scuffed my feet a bit for an excuse to look down at them.

"I… I was… It's not important Gippal. I have a lot on my mind."

He nodded. That same understanding nod from so many years before. "Well," he stared, turning to look into my eyes, "I wish I knew what to say to make it better for you, but I think the only thing to do is to offer you a shoulder to lean on, or cry on. Just know that, okay?"

My jaw dropped as Gippal gave me a meaningful look, turned sharply, and headed back to Home.

Well... there it is. Thanks to all who reviewed Chappy four:

Nekolee: Today is your lucky day, kiddo!

RikkuSwirls: Thanks again! Your reviews make me laugh!

Fire's a Beautiful Sound: Merry Christmas )

Momo-Chan: Maybe I can work something in there with that gun, eh?

Gina: Oooohhh thank you!

Ataramos: Your reviews are so amazingly helpful! "Thank you and Come again!"

And to anyone I may have overlooked in my infinite stupidity: Thanks and I'm so, so sorry!

Please Review! Kisses to all

Brittany