Fear
It was the morning of the seventh day; this trip had already outlasted my expectations. I was exhausted and confused. We had ridden hard, and I was not used to riding a horse.. I was sore and I had no idea where we were. Half the time I couldn't believe that Arlene knew where we were. It was like she had this built in map to where we were going. Maybe it shouldn't have surprised me, when we were little she had built a small obsession in her heart. She loved the old tales and myths, could never really get enough of them and she always knew when I was making up my own. It would not surprise me if she had memorized all the directions she had ever heard to any mystical place.
Kneeling down beside Chance's hoofs I inspected the ground. The field had fresh tracks, fresh human tracks. So far we had not encountered many problems. A few unfriendly villagers and the odd attack of freezing weather but we had not camped anywhere long enough to fully soak up an atmosphere, much to my dismay. I had not realized that we would be sleeping so little. I was running on pure adrenaline, day after long day. I did not know how far we had traveled but something told me it was not far enough.
The mist was heavy, rolling in thick patches across the moors. Endless expanses of long grass and mud, absolutely useless for farming of any kind, but I suppose there weren't really any people around to care much.
I was anxiously awaiting Arlene's return. She had gone ahead to scout out the area and 'maybe' bring back some food. That was heaven to me right now, food. How I missed it. In all my foolishness I had managed to lose most of our supply to a marauding band of crows within the first two days of travel.
There seemed to be several crows around me wherever we went. I walked in aimless circles around Chance and every now and then I would peek out from under my hair at the three crows that sat on a lonely stump not too far away. This was truly a bad omen.
"If you want food, you are fresh out of luck!" Two of them squawked in reply, and the other flapped his wings to remove the dew. Shaking my head I continued tracing circles around Chance.
I studied the tracks in the mud once more. Perhaps a band of weary travelers had passed through here before me. Just as hungry and confused as I am I suppose. I was not skilled enough to tell the sex of the travelers or how fast they were traveling so in fact I felt rather silly even pretending that I knew what I was doing. I felt embarrassed and there was no one except Chance who had turned his neck to look at me. Pushing him lightly on the nose, I sighed in frustration, stood up and looked back at the way we had come. I saw nothing but what was in front of me. The landscape was all the same, all unfamiliar, all cold, and all endless. It had only been 7 days; we could still turn around and go back, right?
Sighing I wandered over to a nearby rock and sat silently in the mud with my aching back resting up against the cold surface. Arlene and I had decided to keep our war paint and clothes on just in case we met any resistance it was better to look intimidating than innocent. Now though it just seemed uncomfortable and just another reminder of how out of place I was. My thoughts drifted to home as I unwillingly shut my eyes. Sleep carried me away on thoughts of tree forts, stick fights and Brennus…
I wasn't sure when it was that I decided to go on ahead without her. I wasn't even sure if it was love, worry or hungry that spurred me onwards. Even if she had left me to pursue this goal herself I still had a hope of finding her. Arlene had always been headstrong and a little snooty if anything but she wouldn't really have abandoned me to find my own way through the landscape… would she?
The moors had long since been replaced with trees, rocks and hills. I climbed more than walked. Chance often walked idly alongside me and was patient with me as I stopped at brooks cold enough to soothe the burning on my feet. I would tell you how many days we wandered but the days had bled into one endless task. Nightfall no longer meant sleep to me: it meant worry and danger..
I ate little, and spared no energy. A combination headed for disaster. This was no longer a thought out and heroic mission it was a desperate scramble through the woods like a blind woman in search of a lost friend. Was it ever really a thought out mission? I wasn't a leader I just followed her because I couldn't think of anything else to do really.
Sighing I realized how truly buggered I was.
Strange birdcalls, like those I had never encountered before, followed me on my trail blazing. They sounded at odd intervals and I pushed down the thoughts that crept into my head like blood from a wound. I didn't want to believe I was being hunted by beings that were essentially my own people. Realistically though it was impossible for me not to be spotted by other tribes as I moved unabashedly through the wilderness. I supposed if they were going to kill me they would've done it already, I think that they were merely curious as to who this strange woman was and why she stumbled onwards as if she knew where she was going. I posed no threat, that much was obvious, and so for the time being I was safe… at least from them.
The wind blew strong and made whistling sounds as it sailed purposefully through the evergreen trees. I covered my eyes with one hand and led Chance with the other, praying that no branches caught me in the eye. If I truly did go blind, I would be completely out of luck. My feet steadied me one leading the other, picking over tree roots on an already marked path probably used by the people of the forest. The trail passed along a steep embankment above a river or creek about 40 feet down to my left and the forest rose up to my right. It made me increasingly nervous, one false move and I was a goner. The strong wind pushed my now feather-like frame about like the branches above my head. Steadying myself against Chance I stifled a smile as I realized the absurdity of my fear... I couldn't be blown off a cliff. I wasn't that frail... was I?
The wind suddenly changed and carried a foul stench. Deer? I struggled through the wind, attempting to breathe more than smell. Cringing I braced myself and tried desperately to keep my reddening eyes open. There was song in the wind.. voices mingled together… but then maybe I was just losing my mind. Pushing Chance towards the trees I began to climb up the embankment out of the wind. Chance opted to wait out the storm on the trail. Shaking my head I looked back at him before continuing on all fours up the slope. Hands dirty and red from travel clung hopefully to tree roots and the trunks of the saplings so as I wouldn't fall to a very unpleasant death.
Once I was free from the clutches of the gale, I turned around onto my back and sat on the slope looking downwards to where the storm was still hitting Chance full-force, but he would be all right. He was a sturdy beast who had already put up with so much. I wondered how much longer he would last and in turn my thoughts returned to how much longer I would last.
Pensively, I licked my chapped lips and took a few nervous glances over my shoulders into the darkness of the woods. In this quiet shelter, with the wind growling at my feet I held back the tears of pained truth. I was forgotten. I almost gave into the emotions of the weak when the smell caught my nose again.
Sniffling, I wiped my eyes and turned back to my hands and feet making my way slowly to the top of the slope. Deer usually smelled rank when they were nearby but this smell was different. It was like a thousand bodies burning at once. Curious and frightened I came to my feet at the top of the cliff and scrutinized the trees ahead. After some time I took an apprehensive step forward, moving the lower branches with my weather bitten arms. My senses were keen from a history of prowling the countryside of my homeland. Home. My heart leapt and contracted in a vice of regret. Sniffling back the pain once more I continued full force through the trees.
Something moved swiftly to my right. Tightening my jaw I put one hand to the hilt of my sword. It had been so long since I had used my weapon and I was now weak, I didn't know how much I could do but I would fight to my death if I had to. Death no longer seemed like such a terrible thing now every part of my being ached.
The shadow whipped back across the path directly ahead of me. Some foul creature was dancing in the murk and mist, taunting me. I had not known fear in some years, at home I had not been afraid, I knew my enemy and faced them with valor. Now, now I was quivering sack of emotions and I willed myself to disappear. I was a coward.
"Show yourself!" It took all my power to keep my voice steady and strong. Apparently I was heard.
A shrill chorus of laughter rang in my ears and through the carpeted forest. A sharp intake of breath was all I needed to calm my wildly beating heart, my eyes stinging with fresh tears. Should I call out again? "I tell you, show yourself!" This time my voice was far weaker. The laughter ended abruptly and a breeze caught the edge of my worn cow-skin boots
A cold silence blared in my ears. No more movement.
Run.
I tore through the trees, brambles catching my legs and spilling my blood to the earth in small spatters leaving a trail as I galloped over logs, over rocks, bruising my feet further. Branches caught my hair but I ambled onwards pulling myself free each time.
Crashing through the brush I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, fear pumping my legs faster. Looking back over my shoulder briefly my right food hit a root and sent my carcass sprawling to the warm earth at my feet.
Spitting the debris from my mouth I pushed my upper torso away from the ground and I became aware of my surroundings. The stench was at its most powerful. My tormentor now forgotten I closed my eyes tightly and prepared myself to gaze upon whatever unholy mess lay just ahead of my nose.