Hi. This is a one shot set after season 4. I'm sure that I won't be adding anymore of this particular story, but I was really really nervous about this, I wasn't quite sure it worked. So please do review so I know whether to edit it or not, etc. Oh, and it focuses a lot around Tony and Jack's relationship, and is mostly from the perspective of Michelle thinking about it. However, this is very much a Tony and Michelle story. Thanks for reading and can't wait to hear what people think:)
Angels
Michelle watched his sad eyes travel to the table, debriefing with Bill in the conference room. She knew that he was feeling what she was, and was sure that it was emphasized by all he and Jack had been through together. Through their boyish competition and challenges they had maintained throughout the time she had known them both, she always knew that there was something deeper. Along with a respect that fathomed anything she or anyone might imagine. There was an understanding that connected them, along with compassion for each other that their tough male façades had a heard time revealing. She could see it in his eyes, glancing up and over Bill's shoulder and meeting hers, she melted.
It seemed unjust that Jack was gone. Unjust that after all of this time spent making herself something she wasn't, burying herself in work as if nothing else mattered, in order to distinguish the thoughts of him that tormented her endlessly, reminding her of what happiness was, though at the same time making her cover thicken and harder to penetrate. Her hair was strait, for the sole purpose that he was no longer there, and if he wasn't there to run his hands through her hair and tuck loose curls behind her ear, she didn't want them at all. The business suit was formal and protective, making her maintain poise she was certain she still had. After everything she did to drive him from her mind, it was odd how much her actions spoke even more clearly to how her subconscious was fixated on him, doing the very opposite of what she did with him, though always for the sole purpose of drowning him from her, while really allowing him the entrance to coil inside her, squeezing her heart so tight, she could no longer breathe.
After all of that, she couldn't fathom how it was fair that she could have him, and he was still loving her, that she had finally let someone, more importantly him, brush away her firm exterior in a matter of a day, so that now she was vulnerable, open, eyes revealing once again what she was feeling, and suddenly okay with being exposed, naked to her emotions. And Jack had lost everything, just like she and Tony had, all those months ago, and something told her it would be much longer before Jack could resume his life, pull the broken shards into something that somewhat resembled the image in the mirror. What Tony saw when he saw Jack, certainly the flaws, but then again, attributes Jack seemed lost in finding inside himself.
She thought back to what Tony had said, about Jack and Audrey. Not if he wanted to be with her. He had said, knowing Jack had made the right chose, that he was wrong, at least in the eyes of love. And it had clicked. She knew it, knew that he had done what he did because he loved her, knew far past that simple statement the depths of his reasons, but in that moment she truly realized the veracity of that statement. He chose love over everything else, because his love for her had out writ any sense of duty or anything else at all, and he had had only one mind, once it had been made up. And that had been rescue, and love, and her.
And it really was the defining difference between these two men she so trusted; Jack was able to disconnect, do what he had to, knew how to let emotion be side lined to anything and everything else if necessary. Tony chose love over all else, knowing the right but seeing his action as necessary, much different than the way Jack saw it. He chose with his heart, wanting to be with her, knowing that he had to protect her with every bit of his being, no matter the consequences. Neither man was wrong; both were great agents, and both had potential to become more like the other man. But something in them made them distinctly different, and watching his eyes, she felt as though that something was the defining thing that made their respect run so deep. The amazement at something the other managed to grasp, the silent envy, yet no need nor desire to obtain that something, though they both understood the other's motives and judgments better than most others would ever be able to.
She felt her heart warm as his eyes met hers. Seeing the same pain their, feeling slightly guilty as she knew Tony would, for the happiness displayed in both pairs of eyes. They had each other again. And both knew Jack would be happy for them, that he had known how much they had suffered, how much they loved each other. Yet that happiness felt so wrong knowing the fate that awaited her friend. Something inside of her told her, Jack was going to be back. There was no way he couldn't be. Against all odds, her gut told her no matter the current situation, Jack Bauer would eventually live once more, and get his life back.
At this she finally smiled, feeling it take over her face. It felt odd, getting used to smiling again. Without Tony the amount of happiness that she had felt was minor if any, thus smiling was a rare occurrence. I can't live another day without you. It was true, she thought. She was done punishing herself. Done punishing him. Tired of suffering. She wanted him in her arms, pulling her closer to him, warm and familiar, telling her he loved her. And she wanted to tell him how much she still loved him, how she had never stopped. How sorry she was for leaving him, how she would never do it again, how life without him had proved more miserable than she could've imagined. She wanted to let him know that she wanted him as her life. Nothing else mattered. She wanted him by her side until the day that she died, and anything else, was insubstantial.
She saw him stand up, shaking hands with Bill, she held his gaze, watching him come towards her. He smiled at her and she took his hand, unable to resist being able to touch him. He brushed a rain curled hair from her face, tucking it behind her hair, such a simple gesture that was so familiar it made the lump in her throat grow bigger, threatening a choked sob. He wrapped a free arm around her waist, feeling her against him, in his arms, finally feeling content at the warmth he had longed to feel for the last months. Planting a kiss softly on her cheek, under her eye where a tear had slowly made its way down her face, he felt her breath a sigh of relief and enveloped her in his arms.
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
She pulled back, silent tears making their way down her face.
"Can we go before I completely lose it?"
She let out a tiny laugh, and he reached up wiping under her eyes, kissing her lightly on the lips.
"Sure. Where do you want to go?"
"How about our apartment?"
Tony looked at her stunned.
"I never got rid of our apartment. I just, couldn't do it. It felt to, I don't know, final."
He smiled.
"How does home sound?"
"Sounds perfect," he said, kissing her lightly on the forehead.
Someone cleared their throat quietly behind Michelle, and they both looked up, Michelle turning so his arm was still wrapped around her, quickly brushing silly tears from under her eyes.
"You did well today, Michelle," said Bill.
She let out a shaky laugh. The wreck she had been by the end of the day hardly constituted 'well', but she appreciated the praise.
"Why don't you guys go home, get some rest, take a couple days off."
She smiled graciously.
"Thanks Bill, but I don't think I'm going to be coming back."
She tightened her grip on Tony.
"That's right," said Bill, suddenly remembering what she had said.
We were going to leave this. And now she could. He was happy for her, shaking her hand and returning her smile. Her smile that was beautiful. But as she cradled closer into the arms of another man, he felt the pangs of longing for her fade, happy to be her colleague and friend, and let her be finally complacent. In fact, he had never seen her light up the way she did around Tony Almeida, the man who had given everything for her, and for whom she was giving herself and her life to. Because she had always been in love, and probably always would be, with the man now standing next to her, where he should be.
"I'm sorry things didn't work out better with Jack. The injustice of this is infuriating. I know he was a friend of yours, I'm so sorry," said Bill to Tony.
Tony nodded and shook Bill's hand.
"Thanks," he said, for everything.
Bill smiled as Tony tightened his grip around Michelle and they turned, both offering him a small, oddly similar smile to him, as though they had grown accustomed to one another's habits, and suddenly reunited, had felt them stir within them once more. He smiled, then turned to get back to work.
Pulling tighter into his arms, she felt safe and happy for the first time. Lying in their bed, they were close and warm, wrapped around each other.
"I've missed you so much," she whispered softly.
"I've missed you too. I can't even begin to explain just how much."
She smiled and felt him nuzzle into her neck. With a light kiss to her shoulder, he sighed 'I love you' against her neck, slowly drifting off as she returned the words, muttering 'Always' against his cheek, her heart pounding in her chest, free and open, joyous in the arms of her husband, her completion, drifting off as she finally felt content. Content as his heart pounded against hers.
Entwined in each others arms, faint smiles shown like stars in the dark, illuminating both faces, as their hearts beat in unison, light in bliss, floating inside them as though angels.
Angels, their love.
Hope that you enjoyed this. Please Review:)
