Dead men tell no lies
-Mr. Cotton's parrot
~~~
Bobby closed Jean's door quietly, wary of drawing any attention to the redhead's supposedly empty room. Tip toeing over to her dresser he opened it and began routing around her clothes. Finding a Miss Piggy pez dispenser he grimaced, taking out all the pez nonetheless he put the pig back in her hidey-hole. Bobby continued searching.
When he came across her underwear draw he stood their flabbergasted.
Jean Grey had black panties.
And not just any kind of black panties-but lacey black panties!
Recalling something from '10 Things I Hate About You' he grinned, girls only had black under things if they wanted someone to see. And you only see underwear like this when you are active in *cough* certain activities. Iceman chuckled as he turned around and began digging through her nightstand.
That was where he came across the teal colored compact. Figuring that it was just makeup he popped the container open. There were pills inside, all laid out in a design of a circle. About half the circle was missing though. That's when it hit Bobby.
Jean Grey was on The Pill.
~
It was the first day of spring break and where was Quicksilver? At a beach party, having a barbeque; hanging out at the mall, on a crazy "spending" spree; going out on a boat, and doing whatever it is people do out in the middle of a large body of water and no supervision… no not one of those things. He was still in Bayville, at the 'hood house, waking up to another brain racking situation. No, this time it wasn't what he was going to wear as he graced others with his presence. Nor was it how his hair should be styled. Even more surprising is that he wasn't even considering how his lighting was affecting the appearance of his skin tone. Nope, he was actually thinking about things that had to do with other people than his most gorgeous imperative sanctimonious self or his twittering groupies.
Pietro paced in his room, again; deep in thought. Not a situation one often found him in. His bet with Daniels was taking more time than he originally thought it could. He had to give the porcupine a little credit this time; on the norm his dares were trivial. Daring him to go inside the girls' bathroom or stealing a candy bar from a store, trivial. Not something that Pietro would consider wasting him time with ever since seventh grade. However, on this rare occasion he seemed to have come up with a biggie unexpectedly.
Getting a date was only challenging for those less exceptional them himself; so what if that was everyone else on Earth? But then he normal intentions of getting a date were obvious and girls were happy to grant him their time. After all, who in their right mind could possibly resist him, especially for this long? He still couldn't think of an idea of how to win Rogue's affections. Why was it so complicated? His charm led him to beating them off with stick goddammit! He never had to put any effort into it before. Everyone just naturally flocked to him. It was a great way to watch girls claw at one another, a favorite pass time of his.
Rogue was different, Pietro snorted, any idiot could tell you that, hell even Fred knew she wasn't like the rest. Rogue was a breed of her own. He had never really meant anyone like her before. Cold and callous was an ordinary mask in High School; bitch was even more common. Seeing the combinations of coldhearted personalities all wrapped up in a pretty package was no surprise, it was natural. A beauty that was kind and caring, waiting for her Prince Charming, were some rarities that Pietro didn't think that even he would ever come across. Besides he wasn't looking to actually like the girl, let alone fall in love, so her personality wasn't his concern. He felt bad for the poor sod that did shake up with her eventually; Quicksilver wouldn't lie, it was only a matter of time before one of Rogue's stalker/admirers got the balls to ask her out. He'd seen several of the horny little bastards at the boarding house before, thinking they'd be the ones to "bring her out of her shell" and score. Pietro shook his head, they'd seen one too many Freddie Prince movies. Each one had received a rather short but nasty "hell no" or a lovely colorful variation of it. At the time, they had found it all very amusing, he included, but now that he thought back to those times he frowned. It would make this task all the more difficult than he originally hoped for, but he wasn't one to throw in the towel. He fell backwards onto his bed, splaying out. He would just have to go over what he already knew of Rogue.
When she'd first moved into the Brotherhood she had been rather skittish of them all, dodging away on the couch or in the hall. Even when fully covered she was wary, and often times restless. They had taken it as arrogant and snobbish behavior. Sure they weren't a pretty sight, but to flee from your own housemates? It seemed drastic. As time went by though, they started to notice patterns in her actions.
Whenever she approached someone she would make sure to stop a few feet back. If anyone came up to her she would move away to keep up that boundary, it was like an invisible fence keeping everyone out. As time went by and the constant anxiety she had tapered, Rogue's severity also lessened. At the Brotherhood house at least.
She'd smack the boys every now and then; hell Pietro remembered swearing she'd bruised him. Of course when she'd lifted his shirt up and ran her hand over the spot he'd been rather flustered as she explained "even if he was as pale as death, I still didn't leave a mark on your slight form." She was starting to loosen up and get into the motions of living there. It was as if she finally understood that they weren't going to shrink away from her. They'd gotten along fine after that. She only remained frosty to those outside the Brotherhood.
Until…she left for the X-Men.
Pietro frowned, displeased at his memories of coming home to a Rogueless home. They'd all been dejected about with her desertion. Concentrating on changing the way his thoughts were going he went back to the bet and his current predicament.
Perhaps he had been going at it wrong all the way. Each girl had a certain weakness after all. Some of them loved to be fawned over, the most annoying in his perspective. Then there was the kind that liked materialistic presents. Others just liked to have some one sit there and listen to them yammer on like a monkey. Then there were the she-jocks. Pietro held back a shudder, after that one dare he'd made sure to avoid that group at all costs. They liked to …cuddle. He hated to cuddle; others touching him were oddly annoying. Girls' acting like holding his hand was going to stop him from leaving, psh yea right. He was faster than light ladies; no contact with another person would ever hold him back!
There were five simple ways chics showed affection or wished to have it returned. They were simple and often are found to be combined. They either had to hear words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gift giving or physical touch. Pietro had to wonder that perhaps the reason Rogue was so frosty was that her past way of expressing herself was through physical touch. It would explain her phobia of coming in contact with others. Why she had such a small circle of friends. Her cool persona would sudden make sense, all those dodges and flinches.
Rolling over on his bed, he fiddled with his blanket, plucking at the threads. Rogue had to have some sort of weakness. He'd just have to find it out. Perhaps he could get Kitty's help without her knowing it. She couldn't be that hard to convince, he could always just resort to buying her off. Kitty was one of the girls that liked small fuzzy things, like rabbits or blue elfs. Pietro disliked that type of girl, even if they constantly flaunted themselves at him. They were the kind that would read magazines and paint each other's toenails as they went over their latest shopping excursion. Nevertheless, he was getting off topic once more.
Straining to come up with some solution it hit him. The magazines!
Zipping off in the direction of the nearest Wal-Mart. Glaring at the slow automatic doors and even slower customers, he made sure not to slow down as he waited. He would be on camera if he did, and one night in prison for stealing was enough for him. After having to listen Todd chant, "don't drop the soap" for the first week of his arrival he'd doubted even Sabertooth would be able to stand up to the insistence. Of course, now that he thought about Sabertooth for a second he found something strange about the man. The guy was a paid assassin, and not because he liked to get paid. While visiting his father, he'd seen the man come home from one of his "jobs" it wasn't pretty or dry. His father's Persian rugs smelt like blood for weeks. If the guy was so great at his profession then why was that Logan still alive? Sure, he had that freaky healing factor but it can't bring a blown up brain back. Victor was always after the Wolverine guy of Xavier's, almost like a spurned lover. Oddly, it all seemed to fit into place, but Logan and Victor…gay? They were the two most 'manly' men he knew, but they were always chasing after each other. Maybe he was like foreplay for them. Could that be tru-naw. Pietro's train of thought trailed back to the magazine rack as he made his selections.
Tucking a few of the issues under one arm he rushed out of the store, making sure to smear lipstick all over the posters near the samples. Grinning wickedly at his achievements, he sat down in the library. Flipping through Teen, Seventeen, Cosmo and BoyWatch he scanned for articles. He came across several titles that mentioned waxing your legs, getting men to fall for the innocent act, losing twenty-pounds before summer break and even one mention menstrual cramps. Shuddering he finally found one in Cosmo. 'Ten Tales of Teenage Love and How IT Happened!' Smiling at his genius once more Pietro read the articles carefully, he was so caught up in the last tail that he failed to see a herd of cheerleaders headed his way.
"Pietro? Hi! It's just so happy to see you, I was afraid we wouldn't be together until school started again! This is so great!" One of them squealed, the others twittering at him.
~
Bobby quickly removed all the remaining pills from the compact. Replacing them instead with his stolen pez booty he grinned. Sliding the compact back in place Bobby laughed. That was until he heard footsteps outside the door.
"I'll just be a sec Scott! I…forgot something in my room!"
Jean slid inside the doorway, closing it in Scott's face. Bobby panicked; if she found him in her room then he would be so dead. He'd be deader then dead. Throwing his head back and forth he searched for an escape, the windows were closed and the closet was right next to Jean. Looking at the bed he thanked karma for the age-old hiding spot. Slipping underneath the bed, Bobby sighed with relief. That was until he saw the condom inches away from his face, the used condom. He tried to fight the urge to shoot backwards at speeds that Quicksilver would praise and inched away. Jean's feet came inches within his face and then turned abruptly. Lifting the covers a little he peered up from under the bed to see Jean sliding her panties off. Bobby's eyes grew as wide as saucers and he sped back under the bed as the redhead turned once more. When he heard the door close and a gleeful remark from Scott he slid out from the bed.
Shivering from the near contact with the used condom and his close encounter with being caught he went back over to the dresser. Pulling open the underwear draw he dove in, trying to find the black panties. The black lacy panties that he was no longer surprised that Jean Grey owned. After a few seconds of searching for the mentioned under garment he began taking them all out in order to find them. Iceman came up empty handed, well not quite empty-handed; they were after all filled with panties and quite a few lacy ones. None of them though were The Black Lacy Panties from before though. Although he did handle the orange G-string for a few moments, Bobby was distressed not to find his panties. Perhaps he left them in the nightstand?
Walking over to the draw he racked through it, only to again come up empty handed. He couldn't even find the compact from before. That could only mean one thing.
Jean Grey was wearing The Black Lacy Panties and had The Pill with her.
~~~
Sorry I couldn't think of how to go from here. I know I made Jean a woman of loose morals but I got a kick out of it and hope at least one other person did too! That'll make it worth it. Please no flames about this, because I know it's OOC but this is comedy and romance and that is BOUND to have OOC! *grins* That's what makes it so funny!
FIND OUT WHAT:
Bobby does do with this information?
Pietro replies to the cheerleaders
And any other thing I may come up with for the next chappie!
BTW: Pietro is in the next day while everyone else's activates were in "Pietro's yesterday".
Thanks everyone who reviewed! It's what got my lazy butt moving! Dessert Rose, Arsenic and Tiger Storm totally made my day when I got their reviews! Thankies!
I have a puppy now (a lil German Shepherd) and she takes up a buttload of my time so I don't get to write as much as I wanted. We got her early at like a lil over four weeks so I have to watch her a lot cos we shouldn't have gotten her until at least seven weeks! That's my reason/excuse for not updating as much as I wanted to. That and LotR: RotK was kick ass! I'm going for a third time some time this week with a friend. My birthday is also this week! Ok no one cares I should cut this off soon! Lol *waves*
Later yo,
Icy