AN: I love the reviews. I love writing this story... It's great fun! I hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter Two

Loh'ran's cohorts were waiting for us when we returned to the mud-sculpture decorated room. Loh'ran was quite excited as he babbled happily to his buddies in his native language. I wondered idly how he could speak two languages if such emphasis was placed on being young and innocent and uneducated. The school hadn't held any sort of indication at all that anything was taught there and none of the other buildings he'd pointed out seemed to hold an educational purpose. I mentioned it to Carter, assuming Loh'ran was too busy saying things about Carter that he really shouldn't have been saying.

One of Loh'ran's friends rudely interrupted and corrected me sharply. "Do not mistake youth and innocence for stupidity. The young often have quite effective ideas for solving problems because their minds are unfettered by rules of sense and logic. Those without the hindrance of a formal education see our problems in a different light and offer solutions the rest of us would never have imagined."

I fell silent, thinking about how often it was one of my stupid comments that gave Carter a brilliant idea. I was about to voice how offended I was by hearing that I had the mind of a child when I realized two things - the first being that they didn't know they'd insulted me and the second being that Carter was the one they were actually insulting. She shifted closer to me as she looked at the group. I did the same, getting a distinct vibe from them that she was in danger. I tried to brush it off, telling myself that Daniel's education didn't seem to bother them at all. Of course for once in his life, Daniel hadn't said anything to reveal how many years he'd spent in school. And I was certainly prepared to argue that regardless of his education, he still had the mind of a child - he trusted everyone and firmly believed that nothing was impossible and seemed to live in his own imaginary world at times.

I couldn't shake the feeling of discomfort. I made the command decision that we were leaving. "Ok, Loh'ran, guys, we've really enjoyed meeting everyone and wish you all the best of luck." I started to move toward the door. "We'll have to come back for a visit some time."

Loh'ran moved into my path. "I must insist that you stay, Colonel. The rain has begun again and it will be much too dark to find your way."

Carter crept up to me, uncharacteristically staying halfway behind me. "We've got a GPS tracker with us. We'll be fine. It was nice meeting you." Loh'ran took a step forward and Carter moved even closer to me. Unfortunately she was already on top of me and her movement only served to press her against me. Not that I minded or anything, it was just very distracting.

Loh'ran slowly met the eyes of the other natives in the room. "No, you will stay." The four turned around and left before I got a chance to argue.

I stared at the door they'd disappeared through and leaned a half inch to the right to mutter at Carter who was still standing far too close for me to think straight. "Do you think they locked that?"

Daniel jumped in. "Jack, what's the rush? They're friendly. They don't have wars or crime. It's a utopia. There's nothing to worry about."

I turned to face him. "There's no such thing as a utopia, Daniel. That's what I'm worried about."

Carter still wasn't backing away from me. Something about the men had really bothered her, but I knew she wasn't about to admit it to me. "And they're really far too friendly, if you ask me."

Daniel waved his hand in the air as if to blow her off. "Would you prefer they were shooting at us?"

"Yes." Our voices in perfect unison merited silence from Daniel and a raised eyebrow from Teal'c.

"I too do not believe this society could be so perfect." Teal'c moved to just in front of the door, ready to fight the next person through it. "The local residents are a source of discomfort to Major Carter. We should leave immediately."

I moved for the door. Carter fell in line behind me. Teal'c followed suit. Daniel lingered, probably mad that we were listening to him. The door wasn't locked. There were no guards. It looked like invitation enough to me. We crept through the hallway quietly. I stopped at the next door. Carter motioned that it wasn't the way we'd come in, but I ignored her. I pushed the door open slightly. It only took a minute of listening to realize it was a courtroom. A trial of some sort was going on.

I looked at Daniel and smirked. "No crime, huh?" He shrugged as the verdict was announced - "reassimilation into society." Carter's eyes were glued on the poor man who was, apparently, guilty. He seemed quite distraught. I nudged her shoulder. "Let's get the hell out of here." She nodded eagerly and took the lead.

When we reached the next hall, Carter cautiously peeked around the corner to make sure it was safe. She glanced back at me and nodded before she turned the corner. I took a step toward her. Then she stepped backward into view. She came back around the corner backwards. I looked up to see Loh'ran coming toward us. I would have said to run, but there was nowhere to go.

Loh'ran stopped directly in front of us. "Your accommodations are ready." He didn't mention the fact that we were obviously on our way out.

I stepped in front of Carter, effectively blocking Loh'ran's attempt to reach for her again. "I hate to be rude and all, but we've got to be going now."

Loh'ran smiled. "That is simply impossible. The building had been closed for the night and cannot be opened until morning."

I walked past him to the main door and opened it. Immediately behind it was a concrete barrier. I shoved at it, but it didn't budge. "What the hell is this?"

Loh'ran gave no indication that he realized I was shouting. "You are free to leave in the morning."

"But we're prisoners tonight?" I found myself wondering why they needed such a defense if there was no crime, but then I remembered that we'd just seen proof that was untrue. "And what the hell does 'reassimilation into society' mean?"

Loh'ran's smile faltered for only a second. "It means that you were somewhere you should not have been." He turned to Carter and changed his mind about his uninformative answer. "When a person shows a behavior pattern that is ill-fitted to our way of life, that person is retrained to behave more properly."

"Hey, look, buddy, we'll be happy to reassimilate ourselves to our planet if you just open the damn door!" It was only after I saw Carter, Teal'c, and Daniel reach for their weapons that I realized I was already aiming mine at Loh'ran.

Loh'ran looked at our guns and took a step back. "I will show you to your rooms."

Carter was waiting for my agreement, but I saw the resignation in her eyes. We all knew we were stuck. I lowered my gun and frowned. "First thing, Loh'ran, we're out of here. No breakfast, no tours-" I shot Daniel a pointed look. "No admiring the architecture."

Loh'ran nodded. "The doors will open at sunrise." He stepped beside Carter and motioned for her to step forward. "This way." He led us up a flight of stairs and down a narrow, dimly lit corridor. "These four doors will serve as your rooms."

I looked at the four doors, identical except that one of them had a bouquet of flowers in front of it. I looked at Carter. "I'm guessing this is your room."

She ignored Loh'ran's pleased grin. Obviously he'd been the one to put the flowers there and she wasn't about to repay him with the effort of smiling. Her hand reached out and turned the knob, pushing open the door. Inside was a small, functional room - a bed, a chair, a sink. Her survey was more thorough than mine and she turned to me, quite unhappy. "There's no lock."

My eyes immediately went to Loh'ran, angry that he'd tried to put her in the room with no lock. Before I had the chance to kill him, Teal'c spoke up. "None of these rooms offer an impediment to intruders."

I glared at Loh'ran. "Unacceptable." I'd rather we all shared a room that locked. Or, actually, even all of us sharing a room that didn't lock was preferable.

Loh'ran's impervious grin didn't fade. "These are the only sleeping quarters in the facility with doors. That is why they were chosen for you."

I turned away from him and vowed to stop using the word unacceptable. Every time I said something was unacceptable, it turned out that I would, in fact, wind up having to accept it. "I'll take first watch." I didn't bother to tell Loh'ran that I'd been taking it perched outside Carter's door.

"I will leave you now. Enjoy your night." Loh'ran walked away, either not noticing or not caring that the four of us were shooting him the evil eye.

I slid into a crouch right where I was standing, gun at the ready for the first unlucky bastard who tried to get near Carter's room. Daniel and Teal'c peeled off into their rooms. Carter waited a moment longer. I knew she was trying to find something to say about how I'd appointed myself her guardian. As much as I knew she didn't want anyone thinking she needed a man to look out for her, I could tell she was pleased that I did anyway. Eventually, she smiled before she closed her door.

The hall was dark and the place was silent and I was bored out of my mind. I lapsed into some sort of half conscious stupor as the hours passed. The next thing I knew, Carter was staring at me, her face mere inches from my own. I jerked from the shock of seeing her so close.

She was grinning. "Good thing they didn't come by to abduct me, sir."

I rubbed at my face and stretched my arms over my head. "What is it?"

"It's my watch." She laughed when I checked my watch. "Time flies when you're sleeping on the job, huh?"

"Yeah, well, see if I save you the next time Loh'ran wants to hold your hand."

"You didn't save me from it all day, sir, so it's not really much of a loss." She sat down across the hall and leaned on her closed door. "You don't have to protect me, you know."

I nodded. "I know."

"I could take Loh'ran and the rest of his buddies by myself, sir."

I nodded again. "I know."

She met my eyes for a moment as her lips turned upward slightly. "Thank you anyway."

I winked at her. "You're welcome." I met her eyes in the silence that followed. She was so close, only a foot away sitting against the opposite wall. Once again I was tempted to chuck it all and kiss her. She'd just thanked me for acting like an overprotective boyfriend - fairly solid evidence that she was as deep into our psychotic non-relationship as I was. "Good night, Carter."

I was just closing the door to my room when I heard footsteps. Carter stood up and we stood side by side as we waited for them to get closer. Loh'ran appeared a moment later. Carter let out a sigh of relief that it was only him and that he was alone. I was more annoyed that ever because he'd done exactly what I'd figured he'd do.

Loh'ran nodded at us, giving no indication that he hadn't expected to find us together in the hallway in the middle of the night. "I realized after I left you that none of you were provided dinner. I offer my apologies for being so inconsiderate. Please help yourselves." He held up a large basket, brimming with fruit-like objects. He must have seen how distrustful we were because he lifted out one of the items and took a bite. "See? It is quite safe." Neither of us moved and after a long, painful silence. Loh'ran set the basket on the floor and left us alone.

Carter's eyes fell on the basket, but she didn't move toward it. I smiled at her. "God, that looks good, doesn't it, Carter?"

She laughed. "I'm so hungry, sir."

I bent down, picked up the piece Loh'ran had taken a bite out of and handed it to her. "We know this one's safe." I grinned at her as I went into my room. "Night, Carter."

Her response was muffled by the mouthful of fruit. "Night, sir.