AN: Oh, it was yet another happy day at my job. Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow... at least I'd have time to write!

Chapter Seven

General Hammond looked so natural with a child in his arms that I nearly forgot the child was Carter. As soon as she got un-shrunk, I was so going to bust her chops over "Uncle G."

"Colonel, what in God's name happened on that planet?"

I raised my hands in resignation. "I really don't know, sir. Things went from bad to worse."

"Are you injured?" He nodded at my hand and, incidentally, at the blood that was running down it.

"She bit me." I realized I sounded like a kid myself when I said it, but I couldn't help it.

"Report to the infirmary, all of you. We'll debrief in an hour." The general turned away, talking quietly to Carter. He turned back to face me. "Why did she bite you, Colonel?"

"I was trying to cajole her to go through the gate." I looked at my injured hand; she'd done some damage, but I imagined I'd live. "She really didn't want anything to do with it."

"I guess not. She's terrified of water." He glanced at Carter and I could tell he was trying to decide what he should tell me. Apparently being her CO, I merited an explanation. "She fell in the swimming pool and almost drowned."

And suddenly, I felt very, very guilty. "She definitely deserves some sympathy, then, sir." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Daniel hanging his head too. I reassured myself that we hadn't exactly had a choice but to force her through and it didn't seem that the experience had any lasting effect on Carter. She already seemed to have forgotten all about it. I turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "Let's go see Doc Frasier." I took two steps down the ramp before I thought better of it. "Sir? Shouldn't the major pay a visit to the infirmary as well?"

"It's probably a good idea." He squatted down and set Carter on her feet. "Why don't you go with Jack? I'll have your breakfast all ready for you when you come back."

Her sweet little voice rang out, not giving the slightest indication that she'd been raising holy hell a few minutes earlier. "Jack said I could have cake."

Hammond shook his head at me. "I'll just bet he did."

Carter stood up on her tiptoes and kissed the general on the cheek. Once again, all the faces in the room smiled at the adorable child as she scampered across the floor and attached herself to my leg.

"C'mere, Carter." I reached down and picked her up. She must have forgiven me for all that business with the gate because she was sound asleep a minute later.

We ducked into the infirmary and climbed up onto the stretchers to wait for the doctor. Carter was out cold, but I didn't put her down. Somehow, it was as soothing for me as it evidently was for her. I heard Dr. Frasier's cheerful voice chatting with Daniel and Teal'c. Teal'c was uninjured, so his exam was quick. It was our little SG-1 tradition that the uninjured went first - so they could get out of there as soon as possible. Daniel was next and I listened mutely as he played down the lump on the back of his head and completely left out the loss of consciousness. He was freed with some ibuprofen for the headache. Normally, I would have been jealous when they headed out to shower and change, but I wasn't. I imagined it had something to do with the fact that I still had a very snugly Carter attached to me.

Dr. Frasier rounded the half-drawn curtain next to my bed. "So, let's see yo-" She stopped short, blinking repeatedly at Carter. It looked like she was checking to see if her contacts had slipped out of place. "Colonel?"

I smiled. "Yes?"

She looked around for help as she mentally sorted through the laundry list of questions in her head. "So, you were wounded?" I nodded, holding up my hand. "A human bite?" I nodded again. "That's about the filthiest thing that can happen to a person. You'll need antibiotics."

I shrugged. "She's not filthy." The way Janet sad it seemed like a terrible reflection on Carter's dental hygiene.

She stopped her analysis of my hand. "Who bit you?"

"Carter."

"Major Carter? Sam Carter?" She looked confused. "I thought it was this child, which, by the way, I'm hoping to hear an explanation of."

I grinned. "Major Carter bit me. She's just not Major Carter yet." I shook Carter gently and was rewarded by her sleepy eyes blinking open. "Sam, this is my friend Janet. Janet, meet Sam." Suddenly very shy, Carter buried her face in my jacket. "Sam, can Janet take a look at you?"

One glance at Janet revealed that she'd been bitten by the 'damn, Carter's adorable' bug that got the rest of us. "Oh, Colonel, she's so sweet!" She reached out and raked her fingers through Carter's untamed hair. The action only made Carter's cute little blond curls stick out more. Carter turned slightly and sized Janet up. Janet pulled her stethoscope loose and held it out. "Do you want to listen to something funny?" Carter nodded, eyes wide with excitement. Janet put the stethoscope in Carter's ears and held it up to her chest. "That's your heart beating, Sam."

Carter's gleeful grin indicated to the rest of us that, if nothing else, she wasn't a robot version of Carter. "Now you!" Carter thrust the bottom of the stethoscope at me, attempting to hear my heartbeat through my shoulder. I corrected the placement and Carter gave me another huge grin upon hearing my heartbeat.

While Carter was distracted with listening to everything within reach, Dr. Frasier gave her a fairly thorough exam. Then she bandaged my hand. "Colonel, I'm going to need to draw some blood from her." She nodded at Carter and I winced.

"Is that absolutely necessary?" I was already fairly certain I was at least partially deaf from Carter's screams earlier.

"I'm afraid so, Colonel." She didn't look any happier about it than I did. "That's one of the reasons I stayed in the military, sir. After my peds rotation in med school, I knew I didn't have the heart to make kids cry, even if it was to make them better."

"Make it quick. And let me warn you - this kid has a set of lungs on her."

Ten minutes, and a few sincere wishes for earplugs later, Carter was nursing a sore arm which had been soothed greatly by the Scooby-Doo bandage. Carter was sniffling disconsolately and holding her arm as if it had been damaged beyond repair. At least the screaming had stopped and I was grateful for that.

I needed to shower and change and I needed to do it quickly or risk being late for the briefing. Janet tried to help me out by keeping Carter while I was busy, but Carter wasn't about to forgive her for her transgression with the needle. So I sought out Daniel, who was reading quietly in his lab.

"Hey, look, Sam, there's Danny. How about you play with some of Danny's stuff? I'll be right back." I set her down, expecting her to go nuts in Daniel's mess of crap - or artifacts, as he would say.

She looked back and me and clutched the leg of my pants. "No."

I had to seriously fight back the urge to say 'no, sir.' Then I remembered that I couldn't really expect that from her just yet. "Sam, if you play with Danny for a few minutes, then you can have your cake."

She gave the proposition far more consideration than I'd ever known a three-year-old to give anything. She cocked her head to the side. "Chocolate cake?"

I grinned. "Absolutely."

She let go of my pants. "Kay." Then she wandered over to where Daniel was sitting.

He was quite annoyed that he had to babysit. "Jack, there are some irreplaceable artifacts in here! It's not the place for a kid!"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to hold her so bad. Now's your chance." I walked away before he could argue more. I made it to the elevator before I heard a crash which was immediately followed by Daniel's loud cursing. Pressing the door close button repeatedly, I swore to myself that I didn't hear a hysterical wail of my name.