Surviving Stephanie Chapter 7
Disclaimer: first off, Janet still owns Stephanie and company. Secondly, Alyssa doesn't really belong to anyone, but if you want her, give us some Vulcan Mind Probes and we'll let you have her.
Note: I cheated on the Spanish. It's late and I'm lazy. I know Ranger would have addressed her in the familiar form but I can't remember it at the moment.
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I woke up when someone's weight settled onto the mattress, and I immediately hated them for it. My mouth tasted like a gym sock, my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a few more. As for my head... oh, please someone get the guillotine. And I hadn't even opened my eyes yet. It was going to be a hell of a day. I foresee lots of crying and soft warm foods.
"Go away, Chelky," I mumbled to the weight, pushing away the hand that was settling on my shoulder. I was not getting up. After that cracked out dream I had, I was entitled to sleep in.
"Come on, Babe," a warm, masculine, voice urged as a large callused hand enveloped my wrist. "Get up."
Oh, shit. That definitely wasn't Chelsea...
I opened one eye to confirm my fear, feeling that opening both would be overkill. Yep, one smirking Cuban Sex God was leaning over me. Would this damned thing never end! I frowned up at him, biting my lip to keep any scathing remarks from slipping out. The smirk widened and he grabbed my shoulders, hauling me to a sitting position.
"Bastardo," I muttered, batting his hands away to stand on my own. The world spun itself around wildly and I grabbed onto the couch to steady myself. I was in the Bat Apartment, I realized after the dizziness began to clear. Ranger had brought me here last night, after... and I'd... the elevator...
"¿Cuándo usted aprendió español?"
"En escuela," I said without thinking. In my defense, I was sort of occupied with wondering what the hell I had done to the timeline of my favorite books. Then I realized what I had just said. I turned to look at Ranger, just waiting for the gun to appear.
"You've never used it before," he said conversationally. I shrugged.
"I'm trying to brush up. It helps if you use it everyday. I could use my Italian phrases instead if you'd prefer," I smiled at him. "But your ancestors probably wouldn't thank me." This got an almost-smile out of him.
"Get dressed," he said, still giving me a curious once-over. "Breakfast's in the kitchen."
I blinked and looked down at myself, surprised to discover I was wearing an oversized black t-shirt. My jaw dropped a little. Oh my god. The elevator... Had I? Had we? My eyes flew to Ranger.
"Um, I don't mean to be weird, but um,..."
He laughed. "You were trashed." I just looked at him. That wouldn't stop most- okay, any- guy I'd ever known. He looked surprised at my lack of reaction. "Babe, you think I'd take advantage?"
I sighed. No, not really, at least not if what I remembered from the books was accurate. But then, Steph hadn't gotten to this apartment until two books from our current situation. How the hell did the equation work now?
"No Ranger, I don't..." I shrugged. "I'm sorry. But every guy I've ever known definitely would have."
He inclined his head as if he expected something along those lines. "You know the wrong guys."
"I'm a sucker for the bad boys," I laughed. "Now, oh noble knight in shining combat boots, where are my clothes?"
He coughed, trying to hide a laugh I think. "Combat boots?"
I gestured to his feet, which were currently in a pair. "More trendy than armor. And more stealthy too."
"Are you still drunk?"
I thought about this for a second. "It's possible."
"Your clothes are in the bedroom."
I opened my mouth to say something but quickly caught myself. No, just leave it alone. I probably didn't want to know anything anyway. At least until I was out of his T-shirt. Decided on my course of action, I hightailed myself to the bedroom to get dressed, and on to the bathroom to attempt to look presentable.
I gasped in horror when I saw my reflection. I looked like Kerri Russell during finals week, but it wasn't the curls that were holding my stunned attention. It was the color of the curls now- I could have sworn they were darker last night but there were definite highlights showing through.... Probably just a trick of the light, I decided and resumed my attempts at taming it all into a ponytail, using the elastic I kept in my coat in case of emergencies.
The one perk of curly hair is how adorable it looks when you get it up in a ponytail- just a touch of effort and it can pass for a really cute evening style. People will think you spent hours on it, when in actuality it takes about five minutes. I have friends still bitter over the fortune they spent on prom hairstyles when I only sprung a couple bucks for a fake flower and a coated hair tie.
Okay, so my hair was cute, it was still too bad about the bloodshot eyes and the throbbing headache. I didn't have the make-up with me to cover the morning after pallor, either. Ugh. I grabbed my lip-gloss and used some of it for a blush as well. It helped, at least a little. Sunglasses would have to cover the eyes... shit. I didn't have any. Hmm, Ranger...
I headed out to find him having breakfast. My eyes locked on the bagels and cream cheese. There was other stuff laid out- a very proper Continental breakfast, but I had my sights set.
"What happened to roots and berries?" I asked as I snitched a bagel and slathered the fat free cream cheese on it.
"Only when I'm in third world jungles," he said, watching me intently. I sighed, wondering if Stephanie didn't like bagels. Oh well, she could suffer. I think I moaned over the first bite. These were bagels from bagel nirvana- warm, a little chewy, delicious...
"I don't blame you then," I told him when bagel-happiness wore off. "Hey, about last night. I'm really sorry," I put down the bagel and forced myself to look him in the eye. "I think I acted pretty out of line... especially in the elevator." His face was blank, totally unreadable. Ouch.
"Please say something, Ranger?"
"Don't worry about it," he said, taking a sip of tea. Tea. Big scary tea-drinking commando. As long as no more basketball games or sweats were involved, I could handle it. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in.
"Thanks. I can't believe the way I acted," I shook my head. "Captain Morgan is a bitch..." I blinked, a sudden thought leaking into my muddled brain. "Oh, and, um, last night didn't fulfill the deal, either, right? It wasn't the full night."
Ranger chuckled at that. "No, we'll just add it to your tab." He looked at me, and his expression sent a wave of heat straight to my core. "You'll know when I claim my night."
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to center myself before I even attempted a coherent response, while also fighting the urge to hyperventilate. Spending the night with the Cuban Sex God? In a body I didn't belong to? I needed to get out of here, fast.
"Babe," I felt his fingers brush my wrist where it lay on the table. "it's not the end of the world to sleep with me."
I opened my eyes to give him a skeptical look. "That's not the full problem, Ranger. There are- complications." He raised an eyebrow, which I assumed meant 'such as?', so I continued. "Like..." I searched my brain, desperately trying to remember a line, any line from any talk from any book that would get me out of this one.
"Such as relationships."
"You said last night you were broke up, and there didn't seem to be any issues..." He was smirking. Oh yeah. I am, and I did...
"Hey, last night was..." Was me being a drunken Alyssa. Damn it. "It was a fluke, and I said I was sorry for acting like a tramp. Besides, I am broke up, but what about you? You could be in a relationship..."
He shook his head. "My life doesn't lend itself to relationships."
Me and yours both, dude. Although probably for entirely separate reasons. "Okay, then. Problem settled...." I bit my lip and met his eyes again, locking gazes with the unreadable dark chocolate orbs. You know, someone really ought to tell him those are supposed to be the gateway to the soul. He looks like his has a titanium steel barrier in the way. "There's still another one, though."
He just looked at me, waiting.
"Friendship. Not everyone can handle sleeping with a friend. Usually someone freaks out and that's it- end of story. No more friends, but lots more drama. Ranger, I don't know your thoughts on the matter, and that's all cool, but I know I..." hm, what did Stephanie think about this? You know, it never really said, Janet. For writing a nice fun romp, you really did do a remarkably obtuse job on her Ranger feelings. On her feelings in general, come to think of it. Mixed up. From the mixed-up files of Ms Stephanie Plum. That's what I was operating on here. Grrr. I hate you Janet.
"I think of you as one of my best friends," I said in a rush. "And no, this isn't me trying to get out of our deal, either." Just delay it for a while. Like for another book- one without me acting the lead. Come on, you've waited this long! "I just don't want to lose that. So, I guess I'm afraid that's gonna be the price, you know? Not the night together, but losing a friend. I should have thought of that before I even accepted," I shook my head at the stupidity of it, feeling suddenly depressed.
Ranger was leaning back in his chair, regarding me thoughtfully. Assessing. I swallowed hard, and waited for him to say something. I had just done an entire monologue on feelings, actually said it out loud, too. Probably that just broke one of the cardinal rules of this stupid place. Ever notice that? Everyone spends their entire time running away from any serious mention of feelings. Mama would say they need to get in touch with their inner child. Although if Ranger has an inner child, I have a sneaking suspicion it probably has a black belt and a switchblade.
"Babe," he said finally, shaking his head.
"I know, I know. We need to get going, right?" I was disgusted with the whole damn thing now. Ranger included. I couldn't even look at him, so I shoved away from the table and headed for the door. Screw it. I refuse to be emotionally stunted just because it's the going trend here. I grabbed my coat and had one hand on the door when he caught me.
"Where are you going?"
"Home. Somewhere. I don't know," I said, pushing his hand off my shoulder. "I don't care."
"Nice try, Stephanie, but you're going with me, and you're getting checked out by a doctor. You haven't been acting like yourself since your injury."
"I'm fine, Ranger. Just peachy. Maybe I just need a vacation." I kept my eyes focused squarely on his chest. He was smarter than that, using his index finger to tilt my head up, forcing me to look at him.
"You surprise me." He moved his head a fraction to the side, almost a full head shake. I shrugged, helpless to explain myself. "We're gonna be late." He pulled away and held the door open.
The first surprise came when the elevator stopped on the third floor and Ranger ushered me out. I shot him a look, which he shrugged off. "We have a couple doctors on staff."
"You weren't meaning physical doctors, were you?" I gritted my teeth as it finally hit me.
"Psychiatrists."
Shit. Merde. Damn. Hell. And other such expletives.
"You think I'm crazy?"
"I think you're stressed."
"Grrr."
Ranger smirked at me, and opened a door. I shot him the evilest look I could muster as I walked past him. I should have known I couldn't fool Batman. Deciding I should ignore him until further notice, I looked around the office. It was nothing special- calming blue walls, peaceful pictures with meaningful messages, a few certificates hanging behind the desk... Ah, goody, complete with brown leather chair and couch. And the psychiatrist... Holy Hat Dances Batman.
"Jack Ryan, Stephanie Plum." Ranger was either doing a very good straight man, or he didn't realize I'd met the office psychiatrist the night before.
"Ms. Plum?" Jack's green eyes looked just as surprised as I felt, but he recovered faster. He stood up and walked around the desk extending a hand to me. "It's nice to meet you again."
"Hi, Jack," I said weakly, shaking the offered hand.