AN: For the record, the bit about the handcuffs in the chapter came froma childhood experience in the late seventies... I lost the keys and my poor brother was trapped in handcuffs until my dad got home from work to break them off. I was then banned from playing sheriff anymore. As for nowadays, they might not make locking ones anymore - I doubt I'm the only kid that did that! Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming!

Chapter Fifteen

Carter whined all the way to the SGC. My wrists were killing me and my hands were turning blue. I drove like a maniac, daring anyone to get in my way. I'd called and warned Dr. Frasier that we were on our way so she was waiting with a medical team at the door. Janet grilled me, surprisingly not giving me a hand time about feeding Carter Play-Doh. I imagined that would come once they'd treated the emergency. They made me wait in the hall, numb hands and all, and I nearly went insane with worry.

Janet eventually emerged immediately telling me that Carter was fine. Then she lit into me. "What were you thinking - leaving her alone with that stuff? She's only three. She doesn't have any sense. You're supposed to be smarter than her!"

"No one's smarter than her, Doc." I didn't say anything about how she's addressed me. I deserved it and I knew that Janet was a doctor first, an officer second.

"I apologize for my tone, sir. I just hate it when catastrophes can be prevented."

"Can I see her?"

Janet smiled. "Actually there's something Sam needs to tell you." She held open the door. "We'll get those cuffs off you and then you're free to take her home."

I glanced at Carter, who was sitting up on her bed and looking suspiciously well. "Sam?"

"Jack!"

I sat next to her on the bed and let Janet work on the cuffs. She had some sort of tool that snapped through the thick plastic in only a second. "So, Sam, you have something to tell me?"

Sam looked at Janet and then at the floor. She mumbled something in a whisper. I leaned closer and asked her to repeat her words. She looked up at me and sighed. "I only pretend eated them."

I forced myself to remain calm. "Why did you say you really ate them?"

"I was bored."

Suddenly, nothing about Carter was cute anymore. I just wanted to strangle her. It became perfectly clear to me why Jacob had been so stern with her. I hopped off the bed and looked at Janet. "I'm going to need a few minutes."

"Sir, you can't leave her here!"

"I'm going to kill her."

Janet winced. "There's just too much she can get into here, sir!"

I shook my head and walked away. I couldn't believe she'd done that to me. She'd scared the crap out of me, just for the hell of it. I stormed into Hammond's office, finding Jacob and Anise there as well.

"Jack, I thought I made it clear that you were to stay at home with Major Carter until I contacted you."

"I can't take it anymore, sir." I held up my wrists and displayed the dark red welts.

Jacob chuckled. "Sam was a challenging kid."

I turned on him, even less amused by him than by Carter. "She's the demon seed!"

Hammond put his hand on my shoulder, recognizing how mad I really was. "What happened, Jack?"

I told him about Carter's little foray into acting. It wasn't really that bad - not for a bored three-year-old. The issue was that she'd lied to me. I couldn't deal with her lying to me.

He smiled at me, reminding me that she was far short of the age of reason and therefore didn't realize there was anything wrong with lying. "I'll watch her for a little while, Jack."

I sighed. "I could use a little break, sir."

"You're not getting much of a vacation." He nodded at Anise.

Anise smiled her irritating scientist smile. "Unfortunately, thorough investigation revealed nothing of any use. I will require a sample of the substance to create an antidote."

Ok, so going back to 738 was not what I had in mind for a break. I ignored Anise because, as always, she was saying something I didn't want to hear. "Are you sure you want to watch her, sir? She's um-" I was looking for the right word, but I couldn't find one.

Hammond picked up his phone. "Dr. Frasier, please bring Major Carter to my office."

I could head Janet's "thank God" from across the room. They appeared in the door way a few minutes later. Janet looked frazzled. Carter had strips of tape hanging from her hair. I started to laugh because it was reassuring to know that Janet had managed to lose control of her in only a few minutes. At least I'd had a day before she'd started acting up with me.

"Jack!" Carter ran over and lifted her arms up. "Up!"

Wary of the tape in her hair, I shook my head. "How would you like to play with Uncle G for a while?"

She tugged on my shirt. "No! Up!"

"Sam, I have to go to work."

Her face fell. "I'm sorry I was bad. Please don't leave."

And instantly, I forgave her from trying to give me a heart attack. I picked her up and hugged her. "It's ok, Sam. You didn't mean to."

Jacob shook his head. "You're such a sucker, Jack."

Carter promptly turned around and stuck her tongue out at her father. She hugged me tighter. "Jack loves me! He said so!"

Jacob looked mildly irritated. "Tell me something I didn't already know."

I decided to glare at Jacob in anger rather than being embarrassed. He stared back at me with a smirk on his face. My glare faded away and the blush rose up. Damn it, between the two of them, they had me cornered. I set Carter on the general's desk and looked at the floor.

"When do we leave, sir?"

"No!" Carter's whine was so loud and so grating that Anise slapped her hands over her ears and groaned. I was thoroughly amused, but felt I did a good job of hiding it. Carter, on the other hand, didn't bother. "No!" She did it again, giggling when Anise repeated the act.

I held up my hand for a high five from Carter. She giggled and grabbed my neck again, giving me no choice but to pick her up. "You're a girl after my own heart, Sam."

"If you ask me, she's already got it."

That time, I stuck my tongue out at Jacob.

"That's nice, Colonel. Take your cue from a rambunctious little girl." Hammond didn't really seem that angry, which was surprising considering the things Jacob was implying. Not that Hammond wasn't already well aware of the fact that I was in love with Carter, but I knew he didn't want everyone walking around admitting it.

"Sorry, sir." I set Carter back down on his desk, but she wouldn't let go of me.

"You'll leave at 0600 tomorrow, Colonel. Dr. Jackson's in Denver giving a lecture today and I'd prefer the available members of SG-1 return since you already know the lay of the land. Of course, SGs 6 and 9 will back you up." Hammond walked around his desk and smiled at Carter, and then he smiled at me. "Think you can handle her for another night or would you rather I take her?"

Carter hopped off the desk and attached herself to my leg once again. "Please, Jack?"

"If you promise to behave."

Carter just grinned up at me, showing me the dimples that I was powerless to resist.

Hammond shook his head. "You need to grow a backbone, Jack."

"As soon as she grows up, sir." I reached down and lifted her into my arms.

"I'm not sure that's going to help, Jack."

That time, Carter and I both stuck our tongues out at Jacob.

I grabbed the rest of the clothes Walter had brought and managed to put Carter in something respectable before we left. We stopped at a drug store on the way home. And although I was seriously tempted by the sleeping pills, I only bought Carter some more toys. I bought her two Slinkys - just in case she knotted the first one all up. Then I picked up some coloring books and crayons. I thought better of the crayons and picked up some fat markers instead, figuring she wouldn't have much luck eating them. Then I put the coloring book back and got her some plain sketch paper instead - because I kid that tried to build rockets and climb to the stars probably wouldn't enjoy coloring in Disney characters. She begged and pleaded for the chemistry set, but I flat refused, ignoring the kicking and screaming.

The mothers shook their heads at me and I wanted to correct them and point out that it wasn't inherent male ineffectiveness as a parent, but simply that Carter was an unbelievably unruly child that was not used to taking no for an answer.

I bought her a lollipop to get her to stop screaming and it worked wonders. The mothers didn't look any more impressed with me and I realized it probably had something to do with the streamers of tape that were still hanging out of Carter's hair. No one on the base had been willing to attempt a removal and we'd all pretty much decided it would be Carter's problem when she got big, provided the tape was still there.

By the time we got in the truck and headed back to the house, the lollipop had joined the tape, hopelessly enmeshed in her hair. I shrugged at her and decided I'd leave it there. It was sugar so I figured it would dissolve eventually. But then she started crying, whimpering and sniveling about how much the wanted her lollipop and I couldn't ignore her. I buckled her into the car seat and told her to close her eyes. I spent a half hour carefully picking as much of her hair away as I could, but for every hair I pulled free, ten others got stuck.

I didn't have the heart to just yank it free, so I took my pocket knife and chopped it out. I crossed my fingers that Carter's hair wouldn't be too messed up when she grew up. I pulled the remaining hair off the lollipop and gave it back to her, forbidding her from taking it out of her mouth until it was gone.

Of course, the lollipop wound up stuck to the back of my headrest, but since it was a better spot than her hair, I ignored her requests for me to retrieve it.

Our next stop was the video store, where we cleaned out their kid section. I planted Carter in front of the TV and promised her a surprise if she was very good until the sun went down. I took my seat next to her with a book. Amazingly, she barely moved a muscle all day, except to tug my arm and inform me when it was time to change the movies. I finished my book and drifted off to sleep somewhere in the middle of the fourth movie.

I awoke to Carter's big blue eyes inches away from mine. I jerked awake, surprised to find Carter in my lap. "Hi, Jack!"

I groaned, mumbling about how waking up to Carter in my lap was yet another one of my fantasies that had been ruined. "Hi, Sam."

"I was good, so do I get my surprise now?"

I looked out the window and confirmed that the sun had long since gone down. "Absolutely." I picked her up and carried her to the backyard where my ladder came down from the roof. "Hold on tight." I carefully climbed up to the lawn chair I kept on the roof, dedicated to stargazing. Maybe it wasn't the brightest idea to put Carter on the roof, but the kid was obsessed with the stars and I figured it just might make her little three-year-old life.

Carter was wrapped tightly around my neck, looking curiously at me. She was obviously used to people not encouraging her insanity. "What's my surprise?"

I carefully sat down, holding Carter firmly, and aimed my telescope. She didn't seem to have any idea what it was for. "What do you think the surprise is?"

She looked around, stumped. "A puppy?"

I chuckled at her. "No, sweetie, not a puppy." She looked disappointed, but her gaze drifted up to the stars and she started to smile. "Here, look." I showed her how to use the telescope and watched her face light up.

She kept me up there for hours, wanting to hear everything I knew about the stars at least twice. She didn't try to move or do anything stupid even once. As we made our way back down, she hugged me tight. "That was the bestest surprise I ever got."

I was choked by emotion and found myself hugging her close as soon as my feet touched the ground. I didn't know why it was so important to me, but I fervently hoped she'd have some memory of the time we'd spent together when Anise found a cure for her. I leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. There were no words to tell her how much I loved her; I didn't think there ever would be.