AN: Guys, I'm so sorry... RL has been unbelievable lately.My job is awful and several members of my family are experiencing severe health problems, so it's been rough. The story is almost finished and I already know exactly how it ends, so just bear with me a little longer!

Chapter Sixteen

Carter, naturally, was not in her bed when I woke up before the crack of dawn the next morning. I searched through the house, finding only two empty boxes from the Slinkys to indicate that she'd been there at all. I stared at the empty living room, thoroughly disappointed that she hadn't decided to watch another movie. Then I noticed the patio door standing slightly open and I knew, without a doubt, where Carter was.

I climbed the ladder to the roof so fast I was surprised I didn't fall off. And there she was, slumped over in my chair, sound asleep. Her thumb had slipped out of her mouth. There was a slew of Slinky knotted around her throat. Her whole body was leaning precariously against the tin armrest of the chair. Somehow, she hadn't fallen.

She didn't have the sense to fall.

I approached her, squatting down carefully in front of her and shaking her arm gently. Her eyes popped open and she had enough presence of mind to be scared. I wasn't mad though. I only smiled. "There's my little runaway."

She leaned forward and hugged me, gouging my neck with her Slinky stole. "I didn't run away!"

"Ok, how about troublemaker? Cause you certainly do seem to make a mess of things." I started picking at the knotted Slinky, but I couldn't make any progress. "How do you get into these messes?"

She just shrugged at me while I pulled the knot straight over her head. She looked ready to cry. "Can I get another one?"

I didn't know what to say - I knew there was a very real chance that she'd be back to normal in a few hours. It was disheartening - I liked baby Carter, even if she was trouble wrapped up in a sweet little package. "Tell you what, if you still remember that you want a Slinky tonight, I'll buy you another one."

"Kay." She attached herself to my neck as I carefully picked my way down the ladder. It wouldn't do to drop her when we'd almost survived the experience intact.

She looked confused when I turned the TV on for her. "It's the middle of the night, Jack!"

"No, it's very early in the morning."

"But it's still dark out!"

"I have to go to work early today.

She looked horrified. "What about me?"

I ruffled her hair, getting my hand stuck in the tape. "You're coming with me."

Carter smiled. "Yay!"

I carefully peeled the tape off my hand, making sure I didn't pull her hair in the process. "You'll play with Uncle G while I work, ok?"

Carter pouted. "I'd rather play with you!"

"I'd rather play with you too, but I have to make money so I can buy you a new Slinky."

She seemed satisfied with my answer and settled down to watch TV. I prayed I could get a quick shower before she even noticed I was gone.

I swear, one of these days, I'm going to learn that life is simply not that easy. She wasn't on the couch when I came back. She wasn't on the roof. I ran back inside and scoured the house looking for her. She wasn't anywhere. I checked the roof again, thinking I'd somehow missed her the first time.

"Jack!"

I spun around at the sound of her voice, nearly losing my balance as I tried to locate her. "Sam?"

"What are you doing up there?"

I finally spotted her. I wished I hadn't. She'd found the hose where I'd abandoned it after washing my truck a few days earlier. She'd managed to turn it on, soak herself and create a giant puddle of mud by the driveway. And she was laying in it.

I stared down at her, shaking my head in disbelief. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

She squinted up at me with smears of mud on her face. "Why are you up there?"

"Don't change the subject. And don't move." I scrambled down from the roof, fearing she'd find something else to get into before I got to her. But she hadn't moved an inch - she was still reclining in the mud with the hose running on her. "Ok, what exactly are you doing?"

She smiled at me, unaware of how precious she looked with streaks of mud in her face. "Mommy said that flowers only grow when you plant them in the dirt and water them."

"Are you a flower?"

"No, but I'm trying to grow."

I tired to fight off the smile - I was trying to get her to grow myself. And she actually had a reason to plant herself in the mud. "Why do you want to grow up?"

Without warning, she sprang up and hugged me, squishing her muddy self into my arms. "Because I want to marry you."

Oh, man, she was killing me. "Sam, you're a little girl. You can't grow like a flower. You just have to wait."

She looked terribly disappointed. "So if I wait and get big, will you still marry me?"

I couldn't help but grin. "Absolutely."

So I was covered with mud. Carter was covered with mud. I took her muddy hand and led her to the porch. "Stay right here." I ducked in the door and then turned back. "I mean it or I won't marry you."

Carter smiled her angelic smiled and was in exactly the same spot when I returned. I had changed into mud-free clothes. We were out of clothes for Carter, so I brought her another one of my t-shirts. Then I led her back to her mud patch and hosed her off. When she was about as clean as she was going to get, I helped her change into my t-shirt. I realized I couldn't put her in my truck yet - she was dripping wet and still kind of muddy. I grabbed a trash bag and stretched it over the backseat. Then I strapped her in and blasted the heater - I figured I could keep her warm and dry her off in one step. I was already going to be in enough trouble facing Jacob - I didn't need to carry a freezing cold, sopping wet, muddy Carter into the SGC.

Unfortunately, the drive wasn't that long and the heater wasn't so strong in the back of the cab. Carter was still drippy when I carried her into the building. "Are you cold, Sam?" She shook her head, spraying me with water from her hair, which had curled into adorable little ringlets around her head.

I bumped into Daniel on the way to the briefing room. He looked Carter over and shook his head. I looked at him, expecting crap from Jacob, not Daniel. "What?"

"She's covered with mud, Jack. And she's soaking wet. And she's not dressed. I wouldn't want to face her father."

I offered him a drippy, muddy, half dressed girl. "You want to give her a bath, Daniel?"

Realization slowly dawned on him. "Oh, right. Um, no, Jack. No, that's probably not a good idea."

"Exactly."

Carter reached out and tugged on Daniel's sleeve. He turned back to her and smiled. "Yes, Sam?"

"Jack wants to marry me."

My face turned bright red.

Daniel laughed. "Oh, he does, does he?"

Carter nodded emphatically. "He said so. When I grow up."

Daniel looked at me, the gleam in his eyes giving away what he was thinking. "I so hope she remembers this, Jack."

I gritted my teeth. "She started it." Daniel didn't look convinced. "No, she did. She was watering herself so she could grow because she wants to marry me." My eyes went wide as Carter shook her head, lying to Daniel that it hadn't happened. Daniel laughed right in my face. I turned on Carter. "You little liar!"

Carter looked down, her chin trembling. "I'm sorry."

I grinned as I looked back at Daniel. "See?"

"I stand corrected." He patted Carter's head and made a series of goofy faces at her. "So I hear we're heading back to 738. Didn't we get enough of that place?"

"We don't appear to have any other hope of getting things back to normal around here, which might be a problem the next time the Goa'uld come knocking."

"True." Daniel reached out and began tickling Carter who squealed and squirmed gleefully in my arms. "But I got the impression you were enjoying this."

"This is fun, don't get me wrong, but I want her back." I jiggled Carter in my arms, eliciting another series of squeals. "It's still her. Just different, you know? It's almost like she still knows me. She still trusts me more than anyone else - including her father."

Daniel smiled knowingly. "Even at three, she still recognizes her soulmate, Jack."

His words had me stunned into silence. Carter, for once, didn't appear to have any idea what we were talking about. I was thankful for that - I didn't want it to get around, even though everyone probably already knew. I shifted Carter around to my other arm and smiled at her. "Ready to see Uncle G?"

"Yay!" She started bouncing in my arms again and I decided it was a good thing that she was excited about seeing Hammond. I was hoping it would translate into her not crying when I went to work.

As promised, SGs 6 and 9 were crowded into the conference room, along with Teal'c, Hammond, Jacob, Anise, and even Thor. Great, I thought, even more people to witness Carter's state. I looked at Daniel as we walked in. "Look, the gang's all here."

Hammond frowned, pointedly checking both his watch and the clock on the wall. It couldn't possibly have escaped his notice that the three of us were twenty minutes late. "Nice of you to join us."

Daniel blamed it on non-existent traffic. I nodded at Carter. "We had a little incident with the hose this morning or we would have been early, sir."

Carter was a little shy because of all the bodies in the room. I would have held her on my lap, but she was still wet, so I set her on the floor and pointed out Jacob. "Daddy!"

Jacob took one look at the wet spots on my shirt from carrying her and sent her scurrying back to me. Selmac spoke up. "I thought Colonel O'Neill was adopting her."

I dropped my face into my hands as laughter sounded throughout the room. I looked up and smiled at Thor. "So, you decided to forgive Carter after all?"

Thor glanced at Hammond. "The general has indicated it is in the best interests of the Asgard-Tauri alliance for me to render assistance. I will help Anise and Freya to determine how to counteract the substance." He looked at Carter, who was climbing back into my lap since no one else would take her, even with her sweet curls. "Major Carter is still unwelcome aboard our vessels in her current condition."

Visions of her standing on the roof of an Asgard ship popped into my head. "Yeah, that's probably for the best."

Carter started searching through my pockets for a yo-yo or anything she could play with. She emerged with my pocketknife, but I quickly took it back. She pouted and then climbed over into Daniel's lap. Hammond started talking, laying out the plan for the mission back to 738. Carter tugged on Daniel's shirt, ignoring the way he shushed her.

"Sam, I'm trying to listen. You have to behave." Daniel turned away from her, refusing to respond to her tugging.

"Danny!" She stomped her foot, but she was in his lap and her foot landed in a sensitive spot on his anatomy. Daniel howled in pain while the rest of us cringed. No longer welcome with Daniel, Carter crawled back into my lap.

Hammond spoke up. "Samantha, sit down and behave yourself."

She shrank back against my chest. "But I wanted to tell Danny about the stars!"

I put my face back in my hands, fearing that I was about to get it for letting Carter go up on the roof. Then I realized I could spare myself the trouble. "I showed her the stars with the telescope, Daniel." I patted Carter on the head. "Now he knows."

"But I wanted to tell him!"

Hammond stood up, bellowing for Walter instead of calling him. "Sergeant, please call Doctor Frasier and have her look after Major Carter until the briefing is over."

Carter howled when Janet tried to lead her away. Daniel spoke up, suggesting Janet ask about the stars. Carter grinned and I was so happy as they started to walk from the room.

Then I realized what Carter was saying. It wasn't about the stars.

"Jack said he wants to marry me when I grow up!"

Daniel started to laugh. Hammond's and Jacob's faces started turning all shades of red. The rest of the men in the room either started to laugh or whisper or both.

I looked around and wanted to die. "That's not what I said."

Carter grinned back at me while Janet continued to lead her away. "Liar!"

I waited until they were out of earshot before I renewed my denial. "It really wasn't like that, sir. She's three. She doesn't know what she's talking about." I cautiously met Jacob's stare. He looked angry, but I realized that his eyes were dancing. He was pretending to be angry when, truthfully, he was quite amused.

Hammond shook his head. "Hopefully, this will all go away in a few hours." He launched right into the mission briefing then, giving no indication of the chaos that Carter had produced. I caught the occasional glance from everyone, but I thought it would be best if I ignored them. I was kind of hoping that the rumor circulating that I wanted to marry Carter would make the one about us having a kid go away. Although it was really a toss up as to which was worse.

Within a half hour, we were all geared up and ready to go. The gate was dialing. The mission was clear. Hammond bade us Godspeed. And then Janet appeared, motioning helplessly at the girl who was scampering among the heavily armed men looking for me.

"Jack!"

I crouched down, realizing that was exactly why children weren't allowed on military bases - because it wasn't safe for them and it was particularly unhealthy for my bravado. "Sam, I have to work now. Remember we talked about it?"

Carter resolutely shook her head, claiming to have no such recollection. "Don't leave me, Jack!" She tried to hug me, but I held her at an arm's length.

"Sam, you're going to play with Uncle G, remember? And then when I get back, I'm going to buy you a new Slinky."

Carter nodded slowly, like she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to agree. "Can we look at the stars too?"

I nodded, feeling awful for my lie. I was going on a mission to put Carter back to normal, but part of me didn't want to succeed. If Carter stayed the way she was, I could shower her with love and no one would be able to do a damn thing about it. I leaned forward and kissed her head, relinquishing what was left of my attempt to appear professional. "I'll be back soon, princess." I looked over at General Hammond who was waiting at the base of the ramp. "Go have fun, Sam."

Carter's chin trembled, but she scrambled over to Hammond anyway. My heart nearly broke as she clutched his shirt and started to bawl. I knew that was what she remembered from childhood - her father telling her calmly that he had to go to work and being gone for weeks at a time. It was no wonder she had a complex about me leaving. I just hoped that the mission would be as easy as it seemed.