Surviving Stephanie Chapter 23

Disclaimer: Must I? Oh, fine. Janet made up the Plum Universe. Alyssa made herself up.

Note: Thank you to everyone! And to all of you who are wondering: the action will get kicked off next chapter and there are 3 more chapters (approximately) until the infamous cookie scene…

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"Hey, Mac." I walked up to the counter and leaned against it, waiting for him to finish whatever he was doing on the computer. "Would you have time to take me out to the gun range again?"

Mac looked at me, his brown eyes concerned. "Sure, I had a client cancel this afternoon. Drop back by around three…" He paused, and searched my face for something. Signs of stress or an impending breakdown I suppose. If only he knew. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I bit my lip on the smart remark I was itching to make. "Yeah, I'm dealing…" He nodded, and I knew he'd caught the tremor in my voice. Damn him. Why did he have to be so, so… so perceptive? Why in hell couldn't the guys around here be the sweet, oblivious Neanderthals I was used to?

"You have my numbers, Steph. Remember, call me if you need anything." I shied away from thinking about the meaning of the emphasis he had put on 'anything.' He wasn't talking about sex. It might have been easier if he was. No, Mac was offering his help.

His protection.

I sighed as I followed him into the practice room. All the men in this life seemed to feel the urge to protect me. A trait that in an ordinary life was sweet, chivalric, and occasionally irritating. Here, I had the uncomfortable knowledge that it might be necessary. And since I didn't feel comfortable asking Ranger's help with Abruzzi- seeing as how I wasn't who he thought I was by any stretch of my imagination- maybe Mac's help wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. Still didn't mean I'd take it if I could avoid it.

The session went fairly well- Mac could still kick my ass blindfolded but I was managing to work the moves we'd covered so far. By the end, I felt much more like my usual self. I was sort of holding my own, and I had just gotten the benefit of an hour of close contact with a particularly gorgeous male. What straight female wouldn't have just a little bit better outlook on life, the universe, and everything? Mac and I sat on the mats, taking long gulps of the ubiquitous bottled water, recuperating from the last round.

"Mac, do you ever thing the world's just going completely crazy?" I asked at last, my mind revolving back to my body-switching dilemma and then on to my Abruzzi dilemma. I was beginning to appreciate what Steph meant when she said once that she had so many dilemmas she couldn't remember them all. I really needed to get a PDA. Mac just quirked an eyebrow.

"It's always been like this, beautiful. You probably just don't get out enough." I laughed and tossed my empty bottle at him, then jumped up to head for the showers.

I showered in the locker room and pulled my hair up without giving it much more than a quick shot of gel before I headed back out to face the madness.

I waved to Mac, blowing him a kiss as I walked out the door. I glanced back in time to see him laugh and roll his eyes. I grinned and pulled Stephanie's sunglasses out of the tragedy of a Coach purse. I slid them on and felt much safer.

I was a gorgeous, talented, gifted badass-in-training. I was a bombshell bounty hunter. Screw Abruzzi. He wasn't gonna know what hit him. Mom always said the power of our thoughts is greater than we think. I was praying she was right.

I got in the car and pulled out my cell to dial the office when I noticed it was blinking. Ooh, goodie, voice mail! I flipped it open and dialed the mail box.

Les Sebring? Who the blazes… oh, yeah, the other bondsman. The semi-reputable, successful bondsman. He wanted me to stop by his office. I'd only missed the call by a few minutes so I took off. I'd seen his place- it wasn't that far from Vinnie's.

Ten minutes later I pulled into an empty parking space in Sebring's lot and headed in. His secretary actually took me up to the floor his office was located on, and into his actual, get this- private office. Vinnie could definitely have stood to take some business tips from this guy. Heck, Vinnie could take business tips from about anyone and come out more successful than he apparently was.

Mr. Sebring extended his hand and I took it, exchanged greetings, then I offered a hand to the woman sitting in a chair across from his desk. She was tall, fit, gorgeous… oh, so this was Jeanne Ellen. She really did look like Cat Woman. "Jeanne Ellen," I said, smiling.

Jeanne Ellen looked momentarily surprised, but shook my hand anyway. "Stephanie, you look… different."

I shrugged and laughed a little. She had no idea. I wondered when I would stop finding it amusing when people remarked on the difference in Steph. Probably not any time soon. I returned my attention to Sebring. Jeanne was gorgeous, and I could definitely see her and Ranger hooking up- I was itching to ask her about it. But I was working on my skills- I really was just a beginner- and there was no telling how good I might be after a while. Jeanne Ellen was the past and present, I was the future. And I didn't have the excess emotions to screw with envying her.

"You asked to meet with me, Mr. Sebring?" I asked politely.

"I have some information you might find useful," Jeanne Ellen said. I tilted my head, waiting. She looked at me closely for a moment before she began. "I'll be flying to Puerto Rico today to pick up an FTA for Les. I wanted to tell you about Soder before I left. For what it's worth, Soder claimed Annie was in danger," And he was right, unfortunately… "He never articulated that danger," Starts with A, ends with bruzzi… "but he seemed to feel Evelyn was incapable of protecting his daughter," Wouldn't give back the medal…. "… I was never able to locate Annie, but I realize Dotty was the conduit, the weak link, so I guarded Dotty." I nodded as she finished.

"You're good," I told her. Jeanne Ellen did that unreadable look thing. "And thank you…" another thought occurred to me. "You wouldn't happen to know if his business partners knew anything about you looking for Annie? Specifically Abruzzi"

"No," Jeanne said. "But I had a feeling Abruzzi was tied into the threat against Annie." Huh, yep, you really are good. I should have you as Profesora Higgins. I smiled and glanced at Sebring.

"So you have no further interest in this case?"

"Not unless Soder comes back from the dead." I smirked. Nope, not without a heart- he wouldn't even make Vampire status.

"Cool," I said, in true college girl fashion. When nothing else seems safe to say, say that.

"I heard you found Soder sitting on your couch," Les grinned. Wow, his teeth were blinding. The man had a flash grenade in his mouth… "You know what that means."

"Yep," I chuckled. "Means I get a new couch."

I said goodbye after that and headed out in search of a better pastime. Sebring was weird. Jeanne Ellen was interesting. But I had too much other stuff to think about just now. Like how to eliminate a crime lord, or how to convince Batman not to seduce me even though I wanted him to…

I sat in the CR-V and pondered my next move. Let's see… Jeanne Ellen left so that meant that Dotty and co were camping…. At that place… grrr… names… I needed names! I slapped my forehead in a vain attempt to jog my memory. Think book, Alyssa. You can do this!

A campground… Washington… Washington's Ford? Washington's Delaware? No, no, no… Washington's… Crossing? Washington's Crossing? That was it! A campground on the way to Washington's Crossing. Oh yeah, I was awesome, I roared. Take that Cat Woman.

Now, I had some time to kill. I could go chasing after Dotty and co to the campground, except that Abruzzi's guys would already have been there, so that was useless. I could hang out at the dojo, which was appealing, but I was going to be spending the afternoon with Mac anyway, and I had enough large scary men in my life.

Huh, I never thought I would ever come to that conclusion. I've always been a 'more the merrier' kind of girl…. But with Mac, Ranger, Jack, and then Tank's random appearance, plus Morelli, and add Abysmal himself… nope. My dance card was full. Alas.

I sighed and flipped through the radio stations to give myself something to do. I could check in with Val and see how she and Jack were doing? Hm… that would be entertaining. I pulled out the cell phone and paused. I hadn't paid attention before now, but it was Sprint. I smiled, wondering at the multi-verse appeal of the corporation.

"hello?" Mrs. Plum answered the phone.

"Hey M-Mom," I scrunched at the word, feeling as if I was somehow betraying my own mom with it, "It's Stephanie. I was wondering if Val was at home?"

"No she left to go see some one." Hmm… the girl moved fast.

"Okay, well I have to-"

"What were you doing at the coffee shop this morning?" Uh-oh. "I've gotten four phone calls about it!" her voice was rising now. "After you left, Joseph stormed out! Marabella Scotti's daughter said he looked like he was going to shoot someone. Mrs. Lippinowski called… she said you told Joseph he didn't love you! What on earth were you thinking!"

The rant went on for a while. I tuned out and missed my mom. My mom, who would have told me she was proud of me, who would probably disown me if I became anything resembling a 'Burg wife. My mom, the militant feminist, who said you should never believe anything a man says- listen, nod your head, but never believe it.

"Well?" Demanded Mrs. Plum. "What do you have to say for yourself?" You really, really don't want to know.

I debated my answer and took a deep, calming breath. "What I have to say for myself is that it 's my life and it isn't anyone else's place to tell you about it. No, he doesn't love me. He loves who he thinks I am. What he thinks I am. Are you suggesting I change to suit him?"

"OF course I am! That's what you do, Stephanie. You change for him because you love him! You quit this dangerous job and you settle down to a normal life." Tears were stinging my eyes. I wanted my mom. I wanted my parents. I wanted a mom who actually talked to me and a dad who did more than glance my way and grunt a greeting. Who didn't tell me ever, ever, ever, to get a normal life.

"Love is not love where it alteration makes," I quoted with as much Shakespearian dignity as I could and I flipped the phone shut, leaned my head onto the steering wheel and let myself cry. I didn't care if anyone saw. Fuck the Burg. I had had enough. Steeleville wasn't big, and everyone knew each other's business, but they didn't make phone calls about it.

Well, not to your parents, unless it involved a police car. I laughed through my tears, as memories of that particular misadventure flashed through my head. Good thing Chief had a sense of humor. And he liked Varsity Blues, too.

The cell phone was ringing. I looked at the LCD and groaned. 'Home'. I let it kick over to voice mail, then scrolled into the settings and reprogrammed a few entries in the phone book. From 'Home' to 'Casa Bruja' with a few taps of the keys. At least it made me feel better. Now, time to figure out what to do and then go shoot something.

Sadly my current plan for surviving this series of unfortunate events was to live with my gun and an extra box of ammo. They can't kidnap you if you shoot them first, right? This meant I was going to have to get very comfortable with that little Glock.

Thinking back to the book, I sort of wished I could just have a rocket launcher. That would make things easier- Find out where Abysmal was, launch a rocket, and in case that didn't kill him, set up somewhere with a clean shot at the exit and nail him with a bullet as he came out.

Too bad I couldn't figure out a way to do that and get away with it. Stuff like that only works in action movies. I'm not sure about the rules for books. So that was out. I guess I'd have to be stealthy. I hate stealthy.

Well, I had a little time before I had to worry about stealth. I pulled out of the lot and started driving. There was a place that looked like it might have smoothies somewhere between Vinnie's and the apartment. I needed a smoothie.

I also needed to have paid more attention to military strategy. I sucked at Risk. And since Napoleon Blowhard was all obsessed with strategy, it would have been highly convenient if I could operate on the same sort of board. As it was I was on an entirely different board, playing a different game, in another room. Grrr.

The ice cream place did indeed have smoothies, and it was decked out like an old-fashioned drug store soda fountain to boot. I was in love. One sip of my strawberry-peach-banana smoothie with the orange twist and I was rapturously in love.

With smoothies this good, the world couldn't possibly be all that bad. My faith in the universe semi-restored, I pulled out the folder with my List and started brainstorming ideas for how to end this escapade without me being kidnapped, Valerie being kidnapped, or me getting my arm branded.

I had been around when Dad and the ranch hands did the branding. I had no intentions of letting that happen to me. I didn't even really want a tattoo.

Time passed more quickly than I would have thought possible, so I was shortly on my way back to the dojo to go play shoot-em-up with Mac. When I got there, he was waiting for me in the front. He tossed the dojo keys to his assistant, a younger guy named Kevin who I couldn't convince to say more than two words to me, and guided me around back to his car.

I didn't complain or ask that we take mine. I preferred his driving. I guess I was smiling a little too much, because halfway to the range, Mac finally glanced over at me and shook his head.

"Most girls are terrified to get in a car with me," he remarked.

"I like your driving."

"You're not scared?" his grin was dangerous. Uh-oh.

I smiled and shook my head. "No." Okay, so I definitely felt the edge of danger and my adrenaline was up, but was I actually scared? Not really.

"Huh," Mac said, and we promptly sped up. I was shoved further back into my seat and settled in for the ride, my hand gripping the edge of the console and tightening steadily as he began weaving through ever shrinking holes. Multi-lane merging… slipping in between tractor trailers… I took in a startled breath as we narrowly avoided a black Dodge Ram.

"Okay," I squeaked, suddenly very glad I hadn't told him about my mom. "Okay, I'm nervous now…"

"Just nervous?" Mac laughed.

I bit my lip. If I lived through this I was going to kill him. No, no, can't kill him. I kind of needed him. Damn it. Well a swift kick in the shins then…