Surviving Stephanie Chapter 27
Disclaimer: No Joes, Janets or Teletubbies were harmed in the making of this fic.
Note:This chapter contains sex. Originally it contains my first smut scene, but it will not be appearing in this version.This is for Lois, Suze, Joanne, Renee, Rae, Tiina, and everyone who's been on about that cookie scene…
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"Because one is more than enough." Tank smiled. My mouth fell open.
I had strange visions of Tank and Ranger pondering my question over a bottle of vodka in some war-torn Eastern European country. 'Dude, I'm tellin' ya, moren' one'll kill ya…' 'You're right, abs'tively. Too many damned women…'
I giggled. Whether it was the nerves or the stress or whatever the hell, it struck me as funny. I just started laughing.
I hate car wrecks. Have I mentioned that? It's true, though. I hate car wrecks. They always made me so shaky and just a little hysterical. I didn't like the sound of them or the feeling of them or the way the car looked afterward. And I didn't like shaking and feeling hysterical. I liked that part least of all.
And just when I didn't think it could get much worse, I looked at the other car. There was a fuzzy red antenna thing from the head of a teletubby lying on the hood. My nose started running.
I put my hand up to cover what I already knew was a stream of red. Ranger was thankfully off by the other car, talking to Lester. He'd left me with Tank and a slightly smaller Tank 2.0 who said his name was Bobby.
"Stephanie?" Bobby sounded like he had said my name a couple times already. I turned without thinking.
"Christ!" Tank rumbled.
"It's nothing," I insisted. "Anybody got a Kleenex?"
I never got an answer. Instead I got forced to lay down, using Bobby's jacket as a pillow while the two bears hovered and demanded to know where the hell the EMT's were at. Bobby was muttering something about head injuries.
I sighed and gave up worrying about it. Someone handed me a handkerchief so that was useful and just a little entertaining. I had a hard time picturing any of the scary Rent-a-thugs using a kerchief. I just hoped it wasn't Tank's. I couldn't take it if Tank owned a handkerchief. It would be like Ranger watching basketball in sweats and drinking a non-imported beer. Terrifying.
Bobby kept asking me questions. It took me several minutes to figure out he was probably just trying to keep me talking in case something was wrong. I considered giving him weird, nutty answers to the questions but gave it up. As fun as it would be it would most likely make them grumpy.
After a while I just tuned out and sort of went where I was told and tilted my head the way they moved it, nodded when it was appropriate, said 'no it doesn't' when they asked if anything hurt. Eventually they decided I might have a concussion and packed me off to the hospital. Tank and Bobby stayed with me.
The EMTs gave them several startled looks and opened their mouths repeatedly as if to issue an order, then Bobby or Tank would give them that blank scary I-will-eat-your-soul look and the EMT would close his mouth.
It was a crowded ride. The back of my head asked silly questions about insurance and co-pays and medical liability and billing information and social security numbers. I ignored it.
The hospital was boring. There weren't even any hot male nurses or doctors to flirt with. Just Tank and Bobby, who were both in non-verbal modes. I counted ceiling tiles until the bustling nurse somehow bustled the two MIBs out long enough for me to get into a hospital gown. Finally I got wheeled into X-Ray, scanned, and wheeled back.
Then an older middle-aged doctor came in and cleaned my various cuts and scrapes. I hadn't even noticed them until he started disinfecting them.
I yelped and grabbed Tank's massive paw when it got to the pulling glass bits out of my arm, which got me a sympathetic look from the doctor and a smirk from Tank.
"'Can't be that bad, Stephanie. You've had worse."
Yeah, right. I've been shot. Only I wasn't here for it. I glared at him. Bobby laughed, Tank looked like he was considering laughing.
Finally I was cleared to go, so the nurse bustled Thing 1 and Thing 2 back out to let me dress. Unfortunately when the door opened it wasn't Tank and Bobby. Joe Morelli walked in, his handsome face serious and his shoulders set. My dad always looked like that whenever he and mom were fighting. I swallowed hard. I really didn't have the energy for this tonight.
"Hi, Joe," I made myself smile. Play your part, Alyssa. Whatever part it is… I'm too tired for this. I'm frazzled… this isn't going to work…
"Stephanie. We need to talk." The door shut and he leaned against the wall next to it. I thought about sitting on the examining table but something stopped me. I was too nervous. Stand up. Ready to run…
"There's not much left to talk about." I kept my voice normal, not even a trace of nerves.
"There is," Joe sighed. "I've made some mistakes, all right? You were on the money the other day- you said I spent more time worrying about you and Ranger than you and me. I came to apologize for that."
I blinked, stunned speechless for a second. Joe Morelli? Apologizing? Mark the calendar. "Thank you, Joe. That means a lot."
He walked forward then, coming to stand just in front of me, far enough for polite society, too close for comfort. "Give me another chance, Cupcake. I love you."
"Joe, I-"
"Shh," he smiled softly. "I know. I know you don't want to hear it, but I do." His eyes were holding mine, and they were warm and accepting, full of love. Oh no… "I love you and I want to marry you, Stephanie Plum. We can pick out a ring tomorrow."
Merde
I took a shaky breath and tried to ignore the tears building up in my eyes.
"Just say yes. Come home with me, Steph."
I tried to say something but it stuck in my throat. I was caught. I couldn't say anything. Couldn't think what to say. Joe took my silence for assent and quickly closed the distance between us to pull me close. His lips touched mine and my eyes drifted shut for a moment. Give in, go home with him, marry him, have a happy Leave it to Beaver life… turn into Desperate Housewives within a year.
I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled away to look up into his eyes. "Why?"
Joes shook his head a little, confused. "Why what?"
"Why now? Why tonight?"
His hand tucked a lock of heir behind my ear. "I miss your curls. But this is more sexy…"
"Joe, focus." Thinking with the wrong head, sweetie… "Why?"
"Because," he said, cupping my cheek and meeting my gaze again. "I got the call you'd been in a wreck with Manoso and I was scared. I could have lost you forever tonight."
And I'd been with Ranger.
"Joe, I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore." I can't do this once. "This still only fixes one problem. What about my job? You still want me to give it up?"
"Of course I do. You're going to get yourself killed."
I nodded. It was a valid possibility. "You might be right. But I'm still going to do my job, and I am still going to try my best. I might get killed doing it. I might get killed on the way to the grocery store. I might get a brain tumor and die six months from now. I might get struck by lightning." I shrugged.
"I can't believe this… you'd choose your job over us?" Joe took a step back, staring at me in disbelief.
"Listen to me, Joe," I said slowly. "I'm not the girl from the 'Burg, I don't cook, I don't clean. I have a gun. I work with guys named Tank. I blow stuff up and I carry a gun. I love not having an office job, I love knowing I am making a difference, I love doing it all my own way, and I love knowing that I can kick serious bad guy ass." I added that last part with a fond thought back to the dojo.
"If I gave up my job for you, what do I have? A husband, maybe the start of a family, but I'm losing friends, losing my independence." My smile was sad. "I can't afford that. I'm not even sure I'd survive it."
"You used to ask me about cookie jars and curtains…"
"Life is more than cookie jars and curtains, Joe."
"I love you, Cupcake, but—"
"That's the problem with you, Joe." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "There's always a qualification. Jump through one more hoop and I'll love you forever. That's quite a carrot, you know?"
"You've changed, Stephanie," his eyes were clouded with confusion and he was frowning now, and the beginnings of anger stirring in his voice. "I don't even know you anymore."
"And you want to marry me?" I raised my eyebrows, amused in spite of it all.
"Yes. I do. I want to marry you. I want you to have a safe, happy life with me."
Save me from myself you mean. "You just said you don't know me."
"God damn it, Stephanie!" his voice rose. He was yelling now. I winced at the sound of it. "Be serious. That's your problem- you can't. You think you're immortal- some kind of superhero, well you're not. You are a disaster waiting to happen!" Ow, that one hurt.
"I am not a disaster!" Where the hell are Tank and Bobby?
"The hell you aren't." Joe was getting even louder. Janet wasn't kidding about that Italian temper. "You go around acting like you're in some stupid comic book, without once thinking about the people who care about you. Who want you safe!
"But you don't care about much, do you, Steph? You manipulate people until they love you, then they start to bore you and you drop them. That's the real you, isn't it?" His hand grabbed my arm and shook me. "You don't care about anyone. I'm not the problem, oh no, it's you. Do you even have a heart or are you just all about getting fucked?"
I didn't even know I was moving until my foot connected with his knee. Joe let out a howl of pain but his grip loosened.
I pulled loose and ran. The hall passed in a blur. I thought I heard Tank yell, but it could have been anyone with a deep voice. I didn't look, didn't slow down, just kept running.
'do you even have a heart…'
'you manipulate people… then you drop them…'
I couldn't hear myself think for all the yelling still echoing in my head. Joe's voice, then my mom's, my dad's… Decades later, a universe away, and my childhood traumas were still echoing. Freud would adore me. Too bad he wasn't here to counsel me through it. Instead I was alone on an unfamiliar street, running through the dark for all I was worth.
I didn't have a goal in mind, hell I didn't even know where I was really. My only thought was that I was going to get away; far, far away. Away from emotional scars and fake identities. Away from the danger of being assimilated into the Burg. Away.
Okay, not that far away. I have never been much of a distance runner. And I was crying again. Which was getting really old, because I don't cry. I didn't really even cry when I caught Chris the scum-sucking ex with another girl. I'd been too relieved. I'd been trying to come up with a reason to dump him anyway.
'you manipulate people until they love you, then they start to bore you and you drop them.'
I didn't mean to. Story of my life. I didn't mean to.
I sat down on the curb and tried to catch my breath. I needed to go back. I'd probably just caused Def Con 5. 3. 1. 12. I hated numbers… why were there always numbers? And which was worse: 5 or 1?
If I went back there were guys who'd know. I bet Tank knew all about Def Cons. Maybe Bobby did too. I sniffled and stood up. I had a mission.
I'd just stepped back through the doors of the hospital when I was surrounded. Okay, not surrounded exactly, it was just Bobby and Tank but they were big enough that it was pretty much the same thing.
"Are you all right?" Bobby asked, concerned.
"Where were you?" I demanded, feeling just a little betrayed.
"Sorry. The doctor was talking to Tank and"
"There you are!" drawled a heart-stoppingly familiar voice. I turned toward the speaker, caught in a trance. My brain had stopped; I didn't dare to actually think about it… "You had these boys scared stupid, hon."
I stared in shock as my dad walked toward me. I blinked. He was still there looking exactly like he'd always looked. Healthy tan, lightly curling brown hair accenting his perpetually boyish face, sparkling sky blue eyes, and actually making the nurses stare at something besides Tank and Bobby. Jeans, boots, blue western-cut shirt, wooly-lined vest, Oklahoma accent. Saying he stuck out like a sore thumb was an understatement of massive proportions. For the umpteenth time, I wondered if he'd ever age or just look somewhere between 18 and 45 forever.
"Daddy?" I breathed, wondering how hard I'd hit my head after all.
He laughed and I thought I'd lose it again. Then he pulled me into a bear hug. He smelled like fresh air and Stetson cologne.
"Sssh, it's okay, shortcake," he said as I ended up sobbing into his vest. "You're fine."
Daddy's idea of intensely comforting words: 'You're fine.' It meant, 'it's over, and there aren't any bones broken, so brush it off and get back on the horse.'
"Now, how about you introduce me to your friends?"
I sniffled, taking a deep breath before I stepped away from him. I kept my hand on his arm, just in case. I wasn't sure I'd live through it if he disappeared right now. He wasn't the world's best dad, he missed important dates, barely ever called, forgot my birthday, wasn't overly emotional, but he was MINE. And he gave the best hugs.
"Daddy, this is—" I stared helplessly at Tank. I wasn't sure how to wrangle this one… "This is Tank and this is Bobby. They work for RangeMan…"
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Plum," Tank said, holding out his hand. Dad took it.
"Just Frank." I spared a moment to stare in awe as my dad shook hands first with Tank, then with Bobby. Frank? My dad's name was Clint…
"So, you boys are taking care of my little girl?" Dad's blue eyes were giving them both a skeptical once over. I couldn't even think what he must be thinking. Even dressed in Rangeman black SWAT gear, they were both way too urban for dad.
"Yes sir," they said.
"You're staying with Ranger, I take it? That's his company." Dad's gaze was back on me. I nodded and fought the urge to shuffle my feet. "What happened tonight? Your stepmother's gotten five calls tonight. She got me at the airport and ordered me down here." My stepmother?
"Just a car accident," I said hurriedly. Dad snorted.
"So what about this Teletubby Ellen's been on about? And your car blowing up?"
"Uh… just a case I'm working on."
Dad's eyes were piercing. "You could fly out to the Wyoming place. Help with the roundup."
I blinked. That's it. I've gone loony and any moment now that Thorazine drip is bound to kick in. "I need to finish this."
Dad patted my hand where it rested on his arm. "Good girl. Now, I better get on home and sort your stepmom out." He hugged me, then paused for a moment. "Sweetie… I know she ain't your mom, but she is worried about you. Don't be too hard on her, all right?"
I nodded. Waiting for the Thorazine here, people….
Dad was about to turn and leave. I stood frozen, feeling like I had the first time I remember him getting on a plane to head out to Las Vegas. I'd been four, and terrified that he wasn't going to come back… he was going to walk out that door and turn into the other Frank Plum and he'd be gone forever.
He suddenly turned back, his eyes fixed on my arm. "What's that from?" he asked. My eyes widened, the last time I'd heard that tone…
"What?"
Dad ignored me and pulled up the sleeve of my t-shirt. I looked down in horror. Where Joe had grabbed my arm there was now a ring of bruises forming. Oh my god…
Dad's hand gently took hold of my wrist and lifted my arm. "When did this happen?"
The Merry Men were exchanging one of those commando looks.
"Look, it wasn't- we were fighting- he just" I shut my mouth and bit my lip to keep it closed. Bruises were bruises. I knew first hand what it sounded like when a girl defended a guy for leaving them. I didn't want to end up back in a psychiatrist's office. Unless someone promised Thorazine...
"Morelli?" Bobby questioned. I kept my eyes focused on the elevator doors.
I wanted the script back.
"That cop? He did this?" Dad's voice was distinctly unhappy.
"Dad, look—"
"You aren't seeing him again, young lady. You got that?" he growled.
I nodded, biting my lip. Stephanie was thirty, she could probably tell her dad not to order her around. I wasn't thirty, and my dad was scarier than hers. "Don't worry. I already nailed him for it." Dad visibly relaxed. "I kicked him in the knee cap."
"He's going to be limping for a while," Bobby said.
"Good for you, sweetheart." Dad turned to look at the Merry Men. "He still around here?"
"I think the docs took him into room 12." Bobby sounded grimly amused.
I frowned and looked around for Tank. He had moved off a little ways and was on his cell phone. "She just walked in, Boss. Her dad's here…. Right. Got it…."
"You go on now," Dad told me, smiling a little. "I think I'm going to go have a talk with the cop. You behave yourself. None of your theatrics."
I scowled at that. He just ruffled my hair and chuckled, then set off down the hall. I considered yelling a reminder about security cameras, but decided against it. Dad could take care of himself. It was one of his amazing super powers. Drop him in the middle of a civil war in a third world country and he'd end up with a diamond mine and a commission to the UN.
"The cars are here," Tank said, his voice cutting into my thoughts. Those simple words kicked them both into SWAT mode.
Bobby got sent out to play look out, and apparently a second team was waiting with a car because it drove up, I got sandwiched between Bobby and Tank, and they somehow got me into the SUV without me ever seeing sky, parking lot, or anything besides their bodies.
Which, mind you, I wasn't going to complain about because it was an excellent view. Beat the hell out of cement and streetlights. It was still a little surreal though. Lester was the driver and I was beginning to feel like Britney Spears only I didn't get the fun slutty clothes.
"Um, guys, what's going on?" I finally asked, feeling way out of my depth. This wasn't in the script. Then again, neither was the wreck… or wait a sec… it was. Except the rabbit, not Teletubby, was supposed to rear end the Buick, and it was only supposed to be Stephanie in the car… Ranger wasn't supposed to get involved until his truck got blown up.
"Abruzzi's guys made a mistake," Tank said. Yeah, that was an understatement.
"They didn't know I was with Ranger tonight. He wasn't the target."
"Don't matter." Bobby's smile was dangerous. "Abruzzi just got a war with the boss."
I thought about that. Maybe I wouldn't have to kill Abruzzi after all. I breathed deeply. Ranger would probably end up doing it. "I didn't mean for this to happen."
Les glanced back at me via the rearview mirror. "It ain't your fault, gorgeous."
Tank's hand settled on my shoulder. Killer teddy bears… I smiled at Les, then at Tank and Bobby.
"Thanks." I said, settling back into the seat to enjoy my role as VIP. There was another black SUV in front of us. I wondered if Hal or Cal or Junior was driving it. Maybe one of the other nameless Merry Men…
Back at the Rangeman building I got ushered inside by Tank and Bobby. Ranger met us at the door and swept me off into an elevator. The silence was forbidding. So was he. His face was distant, blank and unreadable. I chewed my lip, suddenly nervous.
Okay, let's get it over with.
"Ranger?" my voice was quiet in the elevator. Wow, this was so different from the last time we'd stood here. I'd been happy, drunk, and throwing myself at him… Now I was awkward, nervous, and practically cowering on the other side of the small space.
He didn't say anything. Hello, Afghanistan
The elevator stopped and we got out. I followed him into the apartment. The door closed with an almost ominous 'click' and I couldn't take it anymore.
"Please, just don't yell?" I requested quietly. "You can lecture or throw things or-or whatever. Silent works too…"
He turned to me, but I still couldn't read his expression. I wished my heartbeat would slow the hell down. My blood was rushing in my ears. I felt shaky again.
"I'm sorry about this. I didn't mean for you to get dragged in. I'm sorry about your car. I'm sorry I ran away. I was scared and I couldn't think and I…" I lowered my head and let my hair cover my face. "I went stupid, okay?" I said to the floor.
"Cars are replaceable, people aren't." His arms wrapped around me and he kissed the top of my head before resting his cheek in the spot. "You aren't, babe. No more running away from my guys, all right?"
"I promise. No more running away."
We stayed like that for a while. I'd have been happy to stay like that for hours but Ranger pulled away. I looked up at him, momentarily confused until I saw his eyes. He was looking at me, examining, as if he was trying to read me or memorize me… something like that.
I had the unhappy feeling he was probably about to suggest sleeping arrangements. Not a bad thing, except it was probably going to involve him in one place me in another. I was not in the mood for politically correct. I was completely worn out of reality and worrying about what would happen. My inner fangirl was taking charge.
"Ranger…" My voice was hesitant. I've never really done this kind of thing before, have you? "Can I ask you a favor?"
"Shoot, Babe." He looked… curious.
I smiled just a little. I was shaky, scared, upset. But this would be fun. "Just add it to my tab?"
Ranger raised an eyebrow. "Alright." My smile widened
"Can I stay with you tonight, bed-wise I mean?"
His eyes widened, but the corner of his mouth tipped up. "I think I could arrange it."
Men are so easy.
I leaned up and pressed my lips to his jawline, tracing a line to the corner of his mouth and then finally placing my lips on his. Sure enough, I was rewarded with a groan and his arms tightening around me as he took control of the kiss. You know all those cheesy romance lines about tongues plundering and burning passion? Well, I was definitely being plundered- and loving every second of it. And maybe those writers weren't being so cheesy after all… maybe they knew what they were talking about…
His hands crept lower to settle on my butt and I found myself being lifted. Obligingly I wrapped my legs around his waist, running my own hands through his hair. I couldn't wait to be naked to see what it felt like when his hair touched my skin…
And then we were in the bedroom, clothes flying. As good as Ranger looked with clothes on, he looked better without them. I ran my hands over his chest and shoulders, amazed at the solid muscle, the hard planes, the way my pale skin showed against his darker complexion.
My explorations were cut short as he began tugging my shirt off. I stepped back and raised my arms. Somehow my bra was mysteriously unfastened and went sailing away with the shirt. His eyes raked over me and I could almost see the heat kick up a notch. Then they settled on the bruises showing up on my arm. Uh-oh. Time for a distraction…
I smiled and slowly unfastened my jeans, taking my time with them. I caught his eyes and held them as I knelt in front of him and began working on the fastening of his cargos. It took me a moment but I managed. I had meant to slide them down and do a slow tease sort of thing, but well, something came to my attention. Whoops, forgot about the commando issue… okay, no freezing up and blushing like a virgin… you can, er, do this…
Somewhere, in the back of my mind, my inner Chelsea and Renee let out a long chorus of high-pitched fangirl squeaks. Ranger was built. I let my lips turn up in a half-smile. This would definitely be fun.
Edited b/c ffnet doesn't do smut scenes anymore. For original content you'll have to check out my Plum site. Link will be posted... erm, sometime...
He bent his head and kissed me softly. After a few moments he rolled off of me and we lay there for awhile, Ranger's arms around me loosely, not possessive but not letting go either. I used my last energy to curl into him, resting my head on his shoulder, breathing in the mingled scents of sex, Bulgari, and Ranger. I got the weirdest craving for cookies…
Somehow the outside world had disappeared. There hadn't been a wreck tonight, there weren't any homicidal maniacs. It was just us, this place, and the whole long night. The thought of it woke me up a little. Stay tonight, and fight the break of dawn…
I rolled over and kissed Ranger soundly, then placed a trail of kisses all the way to his ear. "You," I whispered, "are the best. Too bad you know it." Ranger let out an amused half-laugh, half-sigh that turned into a tortured moan as I began licking and playing with his ear.
"You're one to talk, querida… Dio…"
He didn't know the meaning of the word tease. Good thing I had plenty of time to show him.
A long time and several rounds later, we ended tangled up together too exhausted to move. My head was laying on his chest and his arms were around me tight although I could feel him shaking just a little.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice sounding much deeper than usual with my ear pressed against his ribs.
"Perfect," I yawned. "That's going to be one hell of a tab… you aren't charging interest are you?"
"Only if you're a good girl."
That dragged a laugh out of me. "When I'm bad, I'm better."
"Yeah you are, he said softly. I smiled and snuggled closer to him.
It had been a very weird day. I had my dad back. Ranger was in on the war-game way ahead of schedule. I had my dad back. I'd just slept with Ranger way ahead of schedule and apparently I'd be doing it again soon… But I'd think about it tomorrow. Right now I had a warm, naked Ranger, soft sheets, and a small army between me and the bad guys. That was enough.
"Ranger?"
"Hmm?"
"What's 'Def Con'? And why are there numbers?"
He laughed and held me tighter. "Babe," he sighed, kissing the top of my head. "Go to sleep."