A/N- Thank you for my reviews! It made me want to write this chapter and
make it long. It is pretty long. I hope you like this chapter. I will
update Velvet Glove a few times in the next couple of weeks. I saw Timeline
today and saw David Thewlis who plays Lupin. At first I was mad that his
character in timeline was unattractive and annoying but he really is a good
actor and will most likely do a great job. Even if he isn't what we all
pictured in our heads for him we should give him a chance. Am I right?
Enjoy and REVIEW!
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Mixed Feelings
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"Mr. Potter, I see that you have used concealment charms to cover up how you are doing during this time. You have 4 days until the full moon. Are you prepared?" Snape asked Harry during Occlumency lessons. Detention would be right t afterwards.
"Yes Professor. Lupin will be locked up in one of his rooms in the castle so I will use the shrieking shack. I have done it before Professor Snape."
"I know Potter but not near a school full of hundreds of students."
"I made extra potion."
"Potter, even though you weren't spoiled at your aunt's and uncle's you are still an insufferable cocky prat."
Harry glared at Snape. It was strange how one minute the potions master was being civil and then the next he was being his old slimy self.
"Potter, you have to get better at Occlumency. You are doing well but you still have a little bit of time to go and I do have better things to be doing than teaching you."
Harry nodded. He read a couple of meditation books and other Occlumency books and he had been trying to clear his mind as much as possible. By the end of the two and a half hour Occlumency session Snape had pronounced the pertinent task a success and Harry had it all mastered. Snape was quite surprised to say the least. Although it was true that the teen had been working a long time on it and they had been doing better it was quite relieving.
"Potter, why the sudden change?" Snape asked after they were done.
"I don't know professor. I just wanted this to all be.over with."
"Very well. I was given orders to tell the headmaster immediately when you have mastered Occlumency. Usually it takes years to be considered a master in certain things but this is a completely different thing."
"Yes sir. I'll just go then."
"Not so fast Potter," Snape said stopping Harry right as he was about to exit. "You still have a detention but instead of serving it with me you will be serving it with Professor Orion."
Harry raised an eyebrow but nodded and walked out. Ten minutes later he was sitting down across from Professor Orion in the DADA room.
Sirius was nervously thinking as hard as he could. Dumbledore had talked to him just minutes before saying that Harry mastered Occlumency and it was time to tell him whom he was and that he wasn't dead. Dumbledore told him to tell him fast due to the fact that Harry wasn't coping well with the loss and Snape also said that Harry felt guilty. Sirius was really regretting not telling his godson about the whole predicament but Dumbledore wouldn't let him. Unknown as to why, Dumbledore told Sirius it was because of the Occlumency. There would be many problems if Voldemort found about Sirius actually being alive. Sirius didn't know why his life was that important to the order but he hadn't asked yet. Remus and Sirius gave up their suspicions about Harry being a werewolf since the-boy-who- lived looked healthy again and Remus obviously didn't.
Now, Sirius was avoiding Harry's eyes. Harry was a little confused since he was in detention and doing nothing but he didn't say anything. The boy awaited Orion's words apprehensively.
Sirius' mind was giving him a headache.
Would Harry be mad?
Sad?
Happy?
Relieved?
It was all so confusing but now was the time. It either was now or never and Sirius knew that he had to do it.
"Harry, I." Sirius started.
"Professor what should I do for my detention?" Harry asked slowly.
"Um.why don't we come in my personal quarters Harry? We have to talk."
"Sir?" Harry asked questionably.
Sirius led the way to the door on the left and inside was comfortable red and gold couches, a maroon four-poster bed and Quidditch Posters all around. There were pictures of the marauders and Harry all around. Harry was shocked but he still didn't take in all of what he was seeing.
"Harry, you thought I reminded you of your godfather. That's because I.."
Sirius felt his stomach close up tightly and he thought he was going to be sick.
"I might as well just show you Harry," Sirius said and he waved his wand at himself and whispered a small incantation. Sirius then looked like his natural self.
Harry's eyes widened. No, this can't be possible. Sirius was dead. Professor Orion..
"What?" he yelled.
"It's me Harry. It's Sirius."
"No," Harry muttered. "It can't be. You are.he is dead!"
"I couldn't tell you Harry. I'm sorry. I wasn't allowed to tell you until you mastered Occlumency. I wanted to so bad. I am so sorry!" Sirius exclaimed with tears in the corner of his eyes. He was holding back tears.
Harry had so many mixed emotions running through his mind. Hurt, betrayal, sadness, relief and utter unbelief. He didn't know what to do so he just ran. He ran as fast as he could without looking back. He couldn't believe that Sirius was alive. After so much hurt, after so much pain and guilt it was all for nothing. He was alive. Harry didn't realize that he came to the astronomy tower. He ran to a corner window and sat on the sill. He looked out into the night sky and felt so confused. Harry then did something he had never done before in his sixteen years of his life.
He cried.
Severus Snape sat on the opposite side of the Astronomy tower thinking about things when Potter ran in and right passed him to the corner window. Severus just stared at Harry. The potions master could hear muffled sobs but he wasn't sure what he would do. They still did not get along too well. Snape suspected that Black had finally told Harry the truth and the boy obviously wasn't taking it well.
"Potter," He said smoothly. He saw Harry jump slightly and he turned around and faced his professor. He quickly wiped his tears away and looked at Snape.
"Um.sorry Professor. I'll just go," Harry muttered and walked towards the door.
"You don't have to go Potter," Snape said. "Are you.are you okay?"
"Did you know professor?" Harry asked after a minute.
Snape hesitated for a moment but nodded. "Dumbledore did not let him tell anyone."
"I can't believe it," Harry said looking down. "I felt so guilty, I felt so bad and it was all just another lie. I can't believe it."
"Potter, you have no idea how much Black wanted to tell you. He was miserable for months and he was not his usual normal cocky self."
"I thought you hated him?" Harry asked.
"Of course I do Potter but you shouldn't."
"I.I don't hate him. I just feel lied to and betrayed. But then I also feel happy and relieved and...and.and this was my dream!! This was my wish. I'm so confused."
"I think you should talk to him Potter."
"I am so sorry Harry," Sirius said appearing in the doorway. No one said anything else as Snape quietly left the room.
Harry was at a lost for words. Sirius was back in his disguise but Harry thought he looked exactly like his godfather.
"Sirius?" Harry said hoarsely.
Sirius nodded. Without another thought Harry jetted out of his sitting position and ran into his godfather's arms knocking him down on the chair. Harry sobbed and tears flowed freely down his cheek. Harry couldn't talk quite clearly as he hugged the man he thought was dead for so long.
"Sirius, Sirius I thought you were dead. I thought I had helped kill you. I thought it was all my fault. I can't believe it. I missed you so much and you were here the whole time," Harry cried through choppy sobs. Sirius rocked his godson in his arm and he moved him on the carpet. Both were crying now.
"I'm so sorry Harry. I wanted to tell you more than anything. I just couldn't.I just couldn't."
They rocked back and forth for what seemed like hours. Harry gradually calmed down but he was still genuinely mad. Sirius wiped the tears away from Harry's face and Harry stood up.
"Sirius, why did you lie? I.I felt so bad and miserable!" Harry said. His voice sounded hoarse with a mix of rage and love.
"I had to Harry. I couldn't tell you until you mastered Occlumency. I wanted to Harry."
"Everyone has been lying about so much. I just can't take it anymore. I am sick of people trying to protect me. You have been here this whole time but you have no idea how bad I felt. I thought I was the cause for all of the deaths. I at least now know that I wasn't the cause of yours because you didn't die but.but.you should have told me."
"I know Harry. I don't know what to say. There are no more lies. That I am sure of. You know everything now."
Harry still couldn't believe he was talking to his godfather. He wanted to hug him forever and never let go. He wanted to feel safe and protected and loved. He had felt so alone and depressed but now his dreams and prayers had come true. It was all so sudden and overwhelming but it was the greatest thing that had happened in so long. He felt happy but mad at the same time. His mixed feelings were so frustrating!
"Sirius."
"Harry, come to my room. You can spend the night there. We can talk."
Harry nodded absentmindedly and followed Sirius to his quarters. Harry sat on the couch and looked at Sirius still figuring out what to say.
"Can you take off the charm?" Harry asked.
Sirius nodded and took off the concealment charm that was on him that made him look like another person. Then Sirius sat down next to Harry and he looked at him.
"Harry, I know this is hard. I know that you feel betrayed and you probably don't know what to think but I am truly sorry that I didn't tell you."
Sirius grabbed Harry into a fierce hug and the teen accepted it willingly. Harry buried his face in his robe and Sirius soon felt tears on his chest from Harry.
"I missed you so much Sirius. You have no idea how much I missed you. I can't..I can't believe you are here. I should have realized that you were Orion. I didn't know. I missed you so much," he cried over and over.
Sirius rocked him back and forth and hugged him lovingly.
"I love you Harry. I am so glad you know now."
Harry sat up and looked at his godfather.
"What?" he asked.
"I said I am so glad that you know it's me now."
"No.the other thing."
"I love you?"
Harry nodded. "Do you mean that?"
Sirius was taken aback. "Of course I mean that Harry."
"Oh, no one has ever said that to me before."
"I've always loved you Harry. You are just like my son. I should have told you sooner."
"I love you too Sirius," Harry whispered. Harry realized he was being really out of character. Until then he never cried in front of anyone but now he did in front of Sirius and Snape. Everything was so unreal.
Harry fell asleep in Sirius' arms.
The next morning Harry found himself lying on Sirius' lap with his godfather's hands around his shoulders.
Everything came rushing back to memory and Harry smiled. He sat up and hugged the sleeping man waking him up. Sirius groaned and Harry laughed. Padfoot realized that he was in a hug and he quickly hugged back.
"Sleep well Harry?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked.
Harry nodded slowly. "Yes but I am more glad that you are here. I am also mad at Dumbledore more than you."
"Oh," was all that Sirius said.
"What happened Sirius?" Harry asked walking over to a pitcher of water and pouring himself some. "I saw you fall through the veil and Remus wouldn't let me go after you. You didn't come back and everyone said you wouldn't. I never saw the mirror until later and I smashed it. Remus fixed it for me.'
"Did they actually say I wouldn't come back?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded. "Yeah."
Sirius sighed. "Before I explain Harry, I want you to know that I am sorry. No matter how many times I have said it it doesn't seem to make you feel like I am. I hate causing you pain. I really had no choice."
"I know Sirius. You said you were sorry and I believe you. I am still mad at you though."
"That's understandable. I will tell you what happened. I fell through the veil and I was in some kind of dream or something. That's what I remembered. It felt like a dream but I think it was real. I saw glimpses of your mom and dad and then I heard muffled voices. They said that I had to go back. I woke up next to the veil and then I remembered everything that happened. No one was there so I turned into my dog form and left to contact Dumbledore and see you. I found out that the school year was already over and it had been several days since I last remembered. Albus told me that I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't even tell you or Moony. He said it wasn't the time. I argued for over two hours with him but in the end he won. Dumbledore said I could tell the order and Moony when school started again but Remus found out when I saw you two in Diagon Alley. I wasn't allowed to tell you till you master Occlumency. I still don't know exactly why but I want to find out. He magically trusted me making it impossible to tell you. I actually tried to tell you once when I gave you detention that one time but the words wouldn't come out. It was the spell. Dumbledore said that the only way I could be close to you until the right time was if I went under a disguise and took the assistant job as DADA professor. He hired Lupin at the end of last year so I accepted the job without question. Then, when I saw you my heart broke even more. It didn't help that you were ignoring me. I felt bad when I found out why you wouldn't look at me. You couldn't even say my name, which means you were pretty depressed. Everyone in the order was worried about you because you looked so pale and sick and Severus was assigned to talk to you. I wanted to so Snape and I planned a little something so I could end up talking to you. Now we are here."
That was a lot to take in. It made a lot of sense but it only made Harry furious at his headmaster.
"Are you mad at Dumbledore?" Harry asked finally.
"Not really. I think his intentions were well but the outcome wasn't so good."
"Why didn't you tell me about the prophecy?"
"I wanted to but it was sworn under oath that only Dumbledore would tell you unless something happened to him. It was a majority vote."
"Oh, I never knew that."
"I voted to tell you when you were younger but most people didn't think you could handle it. I am sorry you took it so badly. I saw the broken items in Dumbledore's office. They were pretty valuable items."
Harry blushed. "It wasn't the news of the prophecy that was such a shock Sirius. I was madder that no one told me about it. I am still sick of people thinking I am a child. I know I am in some ways but from experience I am no ordinary teenager."
"I know Harry and everyone knows that. Some would just like to preserve your childhood as much as possible for your own sake."
Harry snorted.
"Did you know I talked to Nearly Headless Nick? He said you wouldn't be coming back but I thought you would have. Did you hear me calling you in the mirror?"
Sirius nodded.
"Yes, I did and I cried when I heard you calling for me and berating yourself for my death. I wanted to be there."
"Yeah I know. I knew about the prophecy in one-way or another though I think. I always knew that I would be involved with the ridding of Voldemort. I didn't know that it had to be me but I always thought it would be me who did it. It just finalized my suspicions. I can't believe Dumbledore lied to me though. Everyone lied to me. You lied to me."
"You don't trust anyone do you Harry?" Sirius sighed.
Harry said nothing for several minutes. Sirius thought that Harry wasn't going to answer but right when he was going to say something else he heard Harry talk softly.
"I trust you," Harry whispered.
"You do?" Sirius asked a little surprised. This was the boy he thought trusted no one. Even after Sirius himself had contributed in the lying that went on Harry trusted him.
"Yes. Even if you have lied to me you have told me the truth more then anyone and when I want it. Dumbledore didn't do that at all. If I asked him something he would avoid the truth or sometimes make something else. If I ask you something.you tell me."
"So you don't trust Dumbledore anymore then?"
"Ahem," someone said from the doorway. Harry looked at who it was and was shocked to see the exact person who they were just talking about standing in the doorway.
"Hello Albus," Sirius said shyly.
!!!
A/N- This is my longest chapter. I know a lot of things happened suddenly and I am sorry if you disliked the bit about Occlumency but I just decided to do it this way. I always take my reviewers suggestions into consideration. After reading a particular review about Harryh being pissed that Sirius lied to him it made me want to write this chapter right away. I hope it is good. The angst with Harry and Snape has most likely come to a halt but there will be plenty more with Sirius and other characters. I tried to make this chapter realistic. I had to hold back tears while writing some parts but I couldn't stop writing this chapter. It is a lot longer than my usual chapters. As I was writing this I was thinking about how would I most likely act and then I thought about how Harry would act and I combined them. TRUST ME, Harry is mad but he just missed Sirius so much that he isn't taking even the well-deserved anger out on him. Sorry if this chapter was too sappy but ya gotta have some sap once in awhile for an angst fic eh? Ok.enough rambling. I am going to work on the Velvet Glove for the next few days. I will update this by Wednesday.
REVIEW~~~
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Mixed Feelings
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"Mr. Potter, I see that you have used concealment charms to cover up how you are doing during this time. You have 4 days until the full moon. Are you prepared?" Snape asked Harry during Occlumency lessons. Detention would be right t afterwards.
"Yes Professor. Lupin will be locked up in one of his rooms in the castle so I will use the shrieking shack. I have done it before Professor Snape."
"I know Potter but not near a school full of hundreds of students."
"I made extra potion."
"Potter, even though you weren't spoiled at your aunt's and uncle's you are still an insufferable cocky prat."
Harry glared at Snape. It was strange how one minute the potions master was being civil and then the next he was being his old slimy self.
"Potter, you have to get better at Occlumency. You are doing well but you still have a little bit of time to go and I do have better things to be doing than teaching you."
Harry nodded. He read a couple of meditation books and other Occlumency books and he had been trying to clear his mind as much as possible. By the end of the two and a half hour Occlumency session Snape had pronounced the pertinent task a success and Harry had it all mastered. Snape was quite surprised to say the least. Although it was true that the teen had been working a long time on it and they had been doing better it was quite relieving.
"Potter, why the sudden change?" Snape asked after they were done.
"I don't know professor. I just wanted this to all be.over with."
"Very well. I was given orders to tell the headmaster immediately when you have mastered Occlumency. Usually it takes years to be considered a master in certain things but this is a completely different thing."
"Yes sir. I'll just go then."
"Not so fast Potter," Snape said stopping Harry right as he was about to exit. "You still have a detention but instead of serving it with me you will be serving it with Professor Orion."
Harry raised an eyebrow but nodded and walked out. Ten minutes later he was sitting down across from Professor Orion in the DADA room.
Sirius was nervously thinking as hard as he could. Dumbledore had talked to him just minutes before saying that Harry mastered Occlumency and it was time to tell him whom he was and that he wasn't dead. Dumbledore told him to tell him fast due to the fact that Harry wasn't coping well with the loss and Snape also said that Harry felt guilty. Sirius was really regretting not telling his godson about the whole predicament but Dumbledore wouldn't let him. Unknown as to why, Dumbledore told Sirius it was because of the Occlumency. There would be many problems if Voldemort found about Sirius actually being alive. Sirius didn't know why his life was that important to the order but he hadn't asked yet. Remus and Sirius gave up their suspicions about Harry being a werewolf since the-boy-who- lived looked healthy again and Remus obviously didn't.
Now, Sirius was avoiding Harry's eyes. Harry was a little confused since he was in detention and doing nothing but he didn't say anything. The boy awaited Orion's words apprehensively.
Sirius' mind was giving him a headache.
Would Harry be mad?
Sad?
Happy?
Relieved?
It was all so confusing but now was the time. It either was now or never and Sirius knew that he had to do it.
"Harry, I." Sirius started.
"Professor what should I do for my detention?" Harry asked slowly.
"Um.why don't we come in my personal quarters Harry? We have to talk."
"Sir?" Harry asked questionably.
Sirius led the way to the door on the left and inside was comfortable red and gold couches, a maroon four-poster bed and Quidditch Posters all around. There were pictures of the marauders and Harry all around. Harry was shocked but he still didn't take in all of what he was seeing.
"Harry, you thought I reminded you of your godfather. That's because I.."
Sirius felt his stomach close up tightly and he thought he was going to be sick.
"I might as well just show you Harry," Sirius said and he waved his wand at himself and whispered a small incantation. Sirius then looked like his natural self.
Harry's eyes widened. No, this can't be possible. Sirius was dead. Professor Orion..
"What?" he yelled.
"It's me Harry. It's Sirius."
"No," Harry muttered. "It can't be. You are.he is dead!"
"I couldn't tell you Harry. I'm sorry. I wasn't allowed to tell you until you mastered Occlumency. I wanted to so bad. I am so sorry!" Sirius exclaimed with tears in the corner of his eyes. He was holding back tears.
Harry had so many mixed emotions running through his mind. Hurt, betrayal, sadness, relief and utter unbelief. He didn't know what to do so he just ran. He ran as fast as he could without looking back. He couldn't believe that Sirius was alive. After so much hurt, after so much pain and guilt it was all for nothing. He was alive. Harry didn't realize that he came to the astronomy tower. He ran to a corner window and sat on the sill. He looked out into the night sky and felt so confused. Harry then did something he had never done before in his sixteen years of his life.
He cried.
Severus Snape sat on the opposite side of the Astronomy tower thinking about things when Potter ran in and right passed him to the corner window. Severus just stared at Harry. The potions master could hear muffled sobs but he wasn't sure what he would do. They still did not get along too well. Snape suspected that Black had finally told Harry the truth and the boy obviously wasn't taking it well.
"Potter," He said smoothly. He saw Harry jump slightly and he turned around and faced his professor. He quickly wiped his tears away and looked at Snape.
"Um.sorry Professor. I'll just go," Harry muttered and walked towards the door.
"You don't have to go Potter," Snape said. "Are you.are you okay?"
"Did you know professor?" Harry asked after a minute.
Snape hesitated for a moment but nodded. "Dumbledore did not let him tell anyone."
"I can't believe it," Harry said looking down. "I felt so guilty, I felt so bad and it was all just another lie. I can't believe it."
"Potter, you have no idea how much Black wanted to tell you. He was miserable for months and he was not his usual normal cocky self."
"I thought you hated him?" Harry asked.
"Of course I do Potter but you shouldn't."
"I.I don't hate him. I just feel lied to and betrayed. But then I also feel happy and relieved and...and.and this was my dream!! This was my wish. I'm so confused."
"I think you should talk to him Potter."
"I am so sorry Harry," Sirius said appearing in the doorway. No one said anything else as Snape quietly left the room.
Harry was at a lost for words. Sirius was back in his disguise but Harry thought he looked exactly like his godfather.
"Sirius?" Harry said hoarsely.
Sirius nodded. Without another thought Harry jetted out of his sitting position and ran into his godfather's arms knocking him down on the chair. Harry sobbed and tears flowed freely down his cheek. Harry couldn't talk quite clearly as he hugged the man he thought was dead for so long.
"Sirius, Sirius I thought you were dead. I thought I had helped kill you. I thought it was all my fault. I can't believe it. I missed you so much and you were here the whole time," Harry cried through choppy sobs. Sirius rocked his godson in his arm and he moved him on the carpet. Both were crying now.
"I'm so sorry Harry. I wanted to tell you more than anything. I just couldn't.I just couldn't."
They rocked back and forth for what seemed like hours. Harry gradually calmed down but he was still genuinely mad. Sirius wiped the tears away from Harry's face and Harry stood up.
"Sirius, why did you lie? I.I felt so bad and miserable!" Harry said. His voice sounded hoarse with a mix of rage and love.
"I had to Harry. I couldn't tell you until you mastered Occlumency. I wanted to Harry."
"Everyone has been lying about so much. I just can't take it anymore. I am sick of people trying to protect me. You have been here this whole time but you have no idea how bad I felt. I thought I was the cause for all of the deaths. I at least now know that I wasn't the cause of yours because you didn't die but.but.you should have told me."
"I know Harry. I don't know what to say. There are no more lies. That I am sure of. You know everything now."
Harry still couldn't believe he was talking to his godfather. He wanted to hug him forever and never let go. He wanted to feel safe and protected and loved. He had felt so alone and depressed but now his dreams and prayers had come true. It was all so sudden and overwhelming but it was the greatest thing that had happened in so long. He felt happy but mad at the same time. His mixed feelings were so frustrating!
"Sirius."
"Harry, come to my room. You can spend the night there. We can talk."
Harry nodded absentmindedly and followed Sirius to his quarters. Harry sat on the couch and looked at Sirius still figuring out what to say.
"Can you take off the charm?" Harry asked.
Sirius nodded and took off the concealment charm that was on him that made him look like another person. Then Sirius sat down next to Harry and he looked at him.
"Harry, I know this is hard. I know that you feel betrayed and you probably don't know what to think but I am truly sorry that I didn't tell you."
Sirius grabbed Harry into a fierce hug and the teen accepted it willingly. Harry buried his face in his robe and Sirius soon felt tears on his chest from Harry.
"I missed you so much Sirius. You have no idea how much I missed you. I can't..I can't believe you are here. I should have realized that you were Orion. I didn't know. I missed you so much," he cried over and over.
Sirius rocked him back and forth and hugged him lovingly.
"I love you Harry. I am so glad you know now."
Harry sat up and looked at his godfather.
"What?" he asked.
"I said I am so glad that you know it's me now."
"No.the other thing."
"I love you?"
Harry nodded. "Do you mean that?"
Sirius was taken aback. "Of course I mean that Harry."
"Oh, no one has ever said that to me before."
"I've always loved you Harry. You are just like my son. I should have told you sooner."
"I love you too Sirius," Harry whispered. Harry realized he was being really out of character. Until then he never cried in front of anyone but now he did in front of Sirius and Snape. Everything was so unreal.
Harry fell asleep in Sirius' arms.
The next morning Harry found himself lying on Sirius' lap with his godfather's hands around his shoulders.
Everything came rushing back to memory and Harry smiled. He sat up and hugged the sleeping man waking him up. Sirius groaned and Harry laughed. Padfoot realized that he was in a hug and he quickly hugged back.
"Sleep well Harry?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked.
Harry nodded slowly. "Yes but I am more glad that you are here. I am also mad at Dumbledore more than you."
"Oh," was all that Sirius said.
"What happened Sirius?" Harry asked walking over to a pitcher of water and pouring himself some. "I saw you fall through the veil and Remus wouldn't let me go after you. You didn't come back and everyone said you wouldn't. I never saw the mirror until later and I smashed it. Remus fixed it for me.'
"Did they actually say I wouldn't come back?" Sirius asked.
Harry nodded. "Yeah."
Sirius sighed. "Before I explain Harry, I want you to know that I am sorry. No matter how many times I have said it it doesn't seem to make you feel like I am. I hate causing you pain. I really had no choice."
"I know Sirius. You said you were sorry and I believe you. I am still mad at you though."
"That's understandable. I will tell you what happened. I fell through the veil and I was in some kind of dream or something. That's what I remembered. It felt like a dream but I think it was real. I saw glimpses of your mom and dad and then I heard muffled voices. They said that I had to go back. I woke up next to the veil and then I remembered everything that happened. No one was there so I turned into my dog form and left to contact Dumbledore and see you. I found out that the school year was already over and it had been several days since I last remembered. Albus told me that I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't even tell you or Moony. He said it wasn't the time. I argued for over two hours with him but in the end he won. Dumbledore said I could tell the order and Moony when school started again but Remus found out when I saw you two in Diagon Alley. I wasn't allowed to tell you till you master Occlumency. I still don't know exactly why but I want to find out. He magically trusted me making it impossible to tell you. I actually tried to tell you once when I gave you detention that one time but the words wouldn't come out. It was the spell. Dumbledore said that the only way I could be close to you until the right time was if I went under a disguise and took the assistant job as DADA professor. He hired Lupin at the end of last year so I accepted the job without question. Then, when I saw you my heart broke even more. It didn't help that you were ignoring me. I felt bad when I found out why you wouldn't look at me. You couldn't even say my name, which means you were pretty depressed. Everyone in the order was worried about you because you looked so pale and sick and Severus was assigned to talk to you. I wanted to so Snape and I planned a little something so I could end up talking to you. Now we are here."
That was a lot to take in. It made a lot of sense but it only made Harry furious at his headmaster.
"Are you mad at Dumbledore?" Harry asked finally.
"Not really. I think his intentions were well but the outcome wasn't so good."
"Why didn't you tell me about the prophecy?"
"I wanted to but it was sworn under oath that only Dumbledore would tell you unless something happened to him. It was a majority vote."
"Oh, I never knew that."
"I voted to tell you when you were younger but most people didn't think you could handle it. I am sorry you took it so badly. I saw the broken items in Dumbledore's office. They were pretty valuable items."
Harry blushed. "It wasn't the news of the prophecy that was such a shock Sirius. I was madder that no one told me about it. I am still sick of people thinking I am a child. I know I am in some ways but from experience I am no ordinary teenager."
"I know Harry and everyone knows that. Some would just like to preserve your childhood as much as possible for your own sake."
Harry snorted.
"Did you know I talked to Nearly Headless Nick? He said you wouldn't be coming back but I thought you would have. Did you hear me calling you in the mirror?"
Sirius nodded.
"Yes, I did and I cried when I heard you calling for me and berating yourself for my death. I wanted to be there."
"Yeah I know. I knew about the prophecy in one-way or another though I think. I always knew that I would be involved with the ridding of Voldemort. I didn't know that it had to be me but I always thought it would be me who did it. It just finalized my suspicions. I can't believe Dumbledore lied to me though. Everyone lied to me. You lied to me."
"You don't trust anyone do you Harry?" Sirius sighed.
Harry said nothing for several minutes. Sirius thought that Harry wasn't going to answer but right when he was going to say something else he heard Harry talk softly.
"I trust you," Harry whispered.
"You do?" Sirius asked a little surprised. This was the boy he thought trusted no one. Even after Sirius himself had contributed in the lying that went on Harry trusted him.
"Yes. Even if you have lied to me you have told me the truth more then anyone and when I want it. Dumbledore didn't do that at all. If I asked him something he would avoid the truth or sometimes make something else. If I ask you something.you tell me."
"So you don't trust Dumbledore anymore then?"
"Ahem," someone said from the doorway. Harry looked at who it was and was shocked to see the exact person who they were just talking about standing in the doorway.
"Hello Albus," Sirius said shyly.
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A/N- This is my longest chapter. I know a lot of things happened suddenly and I am sorry if you disliked the bit about Occlumency but I just decided to do it this way. I always take my reviewers suggestions into consideration. After reading a particular review about Harryh being pissed that Sirius lied to him it made me want to write this chapter right away. I hope it is good. The angst with Harry and Snape has most likely come to a halt but there will be plenty more with Sirius and other characters. I tried to make this chapter realistic. I had to hold back tears while writing some parts but I couldn't stop writing this chapter. It is a lot longer than my usual chapters. As I was writing this I was thinking about how would I most likely act and then I thought about how Harry would act and I combined them. TRUST ME, Harry is mad but he just missed Sirius so much that he isn't taking even the well-deserved anger out on him. Sorry if this chapter was too sappy but ya gotta have some sap once in awhile for an angst fic eh? Ok.enough rambling. I am going to work on the Velvet Glove for the next few days. I will update this by Wednesday.
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