A/N- Hi, this is a really angsty chapter I think. DO you all like that? I
GOT PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN TODAY! I am so happy. I love that movie.
Johnny Depp is so delicious! I have a poll at the end author's note so
please read.
Note to one review (you know who you are) I cannot believe that you caught that mistake about Harry making Wolfsbane! I had no idea. I am not really sure what to do about it but because so much has happened revolving around Harry making the potion I think I will keep it like that. SO.....in this fic Wolfsbane is an okay potion to make. My "theory" is that Remus sucks at potions so he can't make it. I'm sorry I had to come to that but if you have another suggestion I would love to hear it.
I have 50 Reviews!! Thank you so much. I am pretty sure Kim was my 50th but I love all my reviewers. I especially love the ones that say more then please update. I like to know how I'm doing. Tell me any suggestions you have and I will try to add them. I like to please my reviewers so they will read more. This chapter is not to emotional I hope.. Here it is!! I hoped you liked that last little cliffy I had at the end of the last chapter!!
~!~!~
Have A Little Trust
~!~!~
"Hello Sirius, Harry," Dumbledore said walking in the room.
Harry's stomach churned and he shrank back in his seat. Sirius felt Harry go slightly tense and he gave him a reassuring squeeze of the arm. Thankfully Harry didn't have time to answer the question. If he did he would have serious problems. Harry wanted to definitely leave the question unanswered.
"I see that Harry knows the truth about you Sirius. Harry, if you wouldn't mind answering the question Sirius just asked you?"
"Albus," Sirius started, "how long have you been listening?"
"Long enough my dear boy," Dumbledore said with the twinkle in his eye noticeably dimming. "Can I please talk to you in the next room?"
Sirius shot Harry a quick glance but followed the headmaster into the next room.
"How did it go Sirius?"
"Albus, he feels betrayed and he doesn't trust anyone anymore."
"Except you," Dumbledore pointed out.
Sirius glared at the old wizard. "You should not have been listening."
"I assure you that it was not on purpose. I merely came to check on the both of you and I overheard. I know he feels betrayed and he his very skeptical about whom to trust now. I only wish he could forgive me and more now that you are in his life again."
"Albus, he is furious at you most of all. You were the one he put all is trust into but then he found out about the prophecy and other things that you have kept from him. He has a right to be upset."
Dumbledore sighed. "That is why I want you to be there when I try to talk to him."
"What? Why?"
"You saw what happened in my pensieve. Harry really wanted to cause me pain but instead he broke some very valuable items of mine. I think that if you are here he won't blow up and cause a repeat of what happened at the end of last year."
"Alright headmaster but please be kind. He hates sympathy but that doesn't mean he hates kindness."
"Of course Sirius. I would never be anything other then kind to him."
Dumbledore followed Sirius into the room where Harry was. Unknown to the two older men, Harry had been listening to the entire conversation. He decided he would make something up so he could get them both off his back. He would just lie. Sirius sat down beside Harry and Dumbledore sat across from them.
"Harry," Sirius started hesitantly, "I would like you to answer that last question I asked you."
Harry just stared at Sirius not daring to look in the eyes of the headmaster. Time to lie.
Harry nodded and finally looked at Dumbledore.
"Yes, I trust you," he said. He wanted his face to sound truthful but he was self-conscience that it didn't. Everyone was silent as Harry and Dumbledore stared searchingly in each other's eyes.
"Harry," Dumbledore said after a minute, "you have to stop lying to everyone."
Harry looked down and Sirius' head shot up.
"What?" Sirius exclaimed.
"I'm not lying!" Harry protested.
"Harry, I see it in your eyes."
"That's not true. I trust you and...and I trust Sirius."
Dumbledore spoke softly. "I wish you would tell me the truth. Bottling up all your feelings like you do and not trusting most people can do harm to you emotionally."
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing Dumbledore say. Even though his accusations may be right that did not give him the right to tell him that he was lying about everything. "I tell the truth."
"Then Harry, tell me why you have been looking pale and close to death lately please."
"I.I.I haven't been feeling well. I.I was having nightmares and I couldn't sleep."
Harry was obviously lying through his teeth as he stuttered and slurred his words unclearly. He could usually lie so easily and convincingly but it was like he was being interrogated or something and Harry did not like that feeling at all.
Sirius frowned at Harry and Harry sighed heavily.
"Fine, so I lie but so does everyone else. You lie!"
"Yes Harry, I do and I am sorry."
Harry snorted. "I trust you in some ways Professor but in a lot of ways I don't. I know you would keep me safe but for my entire life you have kept secrets from me and you continue to do so. I trust you with my life and my safety."
"Very well Harry. And about you being sick?"
"I don't know," Harry lied again.
"Harry, did you know your eye twitches slightly when you lie about something.
"Damn," Harry swore without realizing it. "Can I just be alone now?" Harry asked finally.
"Harry, it's almost time for my class. You have 15 minutes," Sirius said"
"Okay, am I allowed to tell Hermione and Ron that you are uh.you?"
Both Sirius and Dumbledore nodded and then left. Harry went to the Gryffindor common room and he saw Ron and Hermione getting ready for class.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Mate, where have you been? We have been so worried," Ron said.
"Can I talk to you guys a minute?" Harry asked.
"Sure Harry. What's wrong?"
"Sirius is alive," Harry whispered. Hermione and Ron gasped as Harry went on.
"He is disguised as Orion."
"Merlin Harry, when did you find out?" Hermione asked.
"Last night. I spent the night in his room." Harry told them all about how he got out of the veil and everything that happened. They were late to class by the time the conversation was over and to Hermione's great disappointment 10 points for taken off for their tardiness. Harry reminded them to act normal and not tell anyone. His two friends were almost a little offended at the obvious comment.
Harry did not ignore Professor Orion like he had every day before and Remus took notice to this. After class Harry stayed back.
"I guess you know," Remus said. Harry nodded.
"Harry," Sirius started in his Orion disguise. Sirius knew that something was wrong with his godson. "Why did you lie to Dumbledore?"
Harry shrugged.
"Follow me Harry. I want to ask you a question."
Harry followed Sirius into his room and sat down.
"Harry.why are you so afraid to show people your feelings?"
"What?" Harry asked shocked about what his godfather was asking at this particular random moment. Everyone always wanted to talk about his emotions. Things were getting so sappy lately and it seemed there was no way he could avoid it. What Dumbledore had said about bottling up your feelings was true and Harry knew it. The secret about him being a werewolf was making him miserable. The only person that knew was someone he was not at all close to.
"Sirius, what are you talking about? Why are you asking me this now?" Harry was quite surprised at what his godfather said next.
"You should never be afraid to cry Harry," Sirius said calmly.
Harry didn't know what to say. He let his emotions show the night before when he was with Sirius and that felt good but he couldn't do that all the time. He had to be strong if he was to be the golden boy and there was nothing he could do about that title.
"Sirius I."
"Call me Orion Harry from now on."
"Orion I.I.just don't know how. I want to trust people but it's just hard."
"I know Harry but you know you can trust me and tell me anything."
Sirius gave Harry a hug. Harry's mind was racing. He couldn't tell that he was a werewolf. There were just some things that were best kept secret.
"Is there anything you wanted to tell me Harry?"
Harry hesitated for a moment and then he shook his head. "Alright Harry. I'll see you later."
The next couple of days Harry spent time with Sirius. He was glad that he could but he still didn't talk to Dumbledore. It wasn't like he got the perfect chance either but he just wanted to give them each a little break from seeing each other. That was what Harry decided.
The night of the full moon Harry told his friends after dinner that he was going to the hospital wing because he wanted to get some dreamless sleep potion. Instead of doing that he went to his room and quickly drank his wolfsbane potion. Then he went to the whomping willow to await the painful transformation that he had done only once before. Just as he got inside he started to transform. He fell to his knees. He felt his bones and muscles shift painfully. His body felt like it was breaking in a million different pieces. Hot needles were jabbing him everywhere and fur grew all over Harry's body. He let out a loud scream, which sounded more like a howl. It hurt more than the Cruciatus curse and it felt like the pain went on forever.
Not soon enough the pain had seceded. Harry wanted to run and he wanted to not be cooped up. His mind was his own. He curled up near the corner and tried so hard to stay under complete control. Time felt like it had slowed down immensely. About an hour later his strong senses picked up on a scent and a loud noise. Someone was coming and he had to get out fast. He saw a werewolf coming and he knew immediately that it was Remus. Moony saw Harry and tried to come up to him but Harry backed away and slipped out. Harry prayed that Moony didn't know it was him. Without another thought Harry sped out and into the forbidden forest. The second werewolf was on his tail. They both ran through the warm sticky night. Harry weaved around the trees in the forest and managed to lose his former DADA professor after several hours. Harry fell asleep in the nook of a tree only to wake up at sunrise 3 hours later.
He went through the opposite change so he was human again. His body felt like it had been cursed with Cruciatus a million times and he knew he had to see Professor Snape for some pain-relieving potion. There was no one else he could tell after all.
Harry hoped that Lupin didn't know that he was a werewolf. Remus couldn't have figured it out.
Remus had a feeling he knew who that strange werewolf was. The signs were so obvious and they all pointed to Harry. How had Harry become a werewolf and when was he bitten. Remus Lupin didn't know what to do but he did know that he had to talk to Harry.
Harry dragged his feet to the dungeons in search of Snape. It took him quite awhile to get there but as soon as he could he knocked on the classroom door and was greeted by a grouchy looking Snape, even more so than usual. Harry was a little surprised that Snape was up at six in the morning but he quickly forgot about it as his potions master pointed to a dark corner and told him to be quiet and stand there for a moment. Harry did as he was told and he leaned up against the wall. The corner was so dark that if someone looked over at Harry he wouldn't be seen.
Barely a second later Professor Orion came back out of the room and walked past Harry without seeing him. Sirius came out and dragged Harry inside.
"Uh...Professor?" Harry questioned.
"Potter," Snape slurred. "Orion was just getting some paint relieving potion for Remus since Madame Pomphrey is out. I did not want him to see you like this or he would have definitely suspected something. Now," he growled," What do you want?"
"Um.. same as Remus please."
"It's Professor Lupin Potter. You should not get accustomed to calling your teachers by there first names.
"Yes sir, can I have some potion?"
"What? I thought the golden boy er.. nevermind. I'll get you some." Snape was about to say something but he quickly stopped himself when he remembered a conversation earlier about hating being the center of attention and being Dumbledore's golden boy. Sometimes Snape forgot that he had mentally agreed not to torment the-boy-who-lived as much and about certain things.
Snape got three vials of potion and Harry drank all of them immediately without asking what they were first. Harry didn't realize it but he trusted Snape. Harry felt better but he felt extremely tired.
"Follow me Potter," Snape said walking into his personal quarters. Snape threw a pillow at Harry, which Harry caught with ease and then he gave the man a confusing look.
"Sleep here Potter. I know this is probably the last place you want to be but Pomphrey isn't here and if you go to the hospital wing Black will know. I also think it is my responsibility unfortunately to make sure you survive this lycanthropy for now since I am the only one who knows and I am not telling you. You need sleep. Don't worry about your morning classes. I will wake you up in time for potions," Snape told him gruffly.
Harry thanked him and lay down on the couch, which was very comfortable and smelled like warm spices. Harry fell asleep immediately after Snape left.
A/N- Ansgty wasn't it? I am not sure how well I did the whole werewolf thing. Please don't flame me on that. I try hard to make it sound accurate but some things I am not sure about. Sorry if that bothers you. I need some feedback. I really do. Do you like angst? Am I getting too emotional? I think I am going to stop with so many emotions for the time being. I can't resist writing a fic without angst. This wasn't even an angst fic at first but I honestly couldn't resist. Please review. If I get enough reviews to make me happy I will put a new chapter up tomorrow!!!!
*Poll*
How should Hermione and Ron find out?
They overhear and think it's a lie?
Harry tells them?
They figure it out on their own?
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Cookies to all my reviewers!!!!
Note to one review (you know who you are) I cannot believe that you caught that mistake about Harry making Wolfsbane! I had no idea. I am not really sure what to do about it but because so much has happened revolving around Harry making the potion I think I will keep it like that. SO.....in this fic Wolfsbane is an okay potion to make. My "theory" is that Remus sucks at potions so he can't make it. I'm sorry I had to come to that but if you have another suggestion I would love to hear it.
I have 50 Reviews!! Thank you so much. I am pretty sure Kim was my 50th but I love all my reviewers. I especially love the ones that say more then please update. I like to know how I'm doing. Tell me any suggestions you have and I will try to add them. I like to please my reviewers so they will read more. This chapter is not to emotional I hope.. Here it is!! I hoped you liked that last little cliffy I had at the end of the last chapter!!
~!~!~
Have A Little Trust
~!~!~
"Hello Sirius, Harry," Dumbledore said walking in the room.
Harry's stomach churned and he shrank back in his seat. Sirius felt Harry go slightly tense and he gave him a reassuring squeeze of the arm. Thankfully Harry didn't have time to answer the question. If he did he would have serious problems. Harry wanted to definitely leave the question unanswered.
"I see that Harry knows the truth about you Sirius. Harry, if you wouldn't mind answering the question Sirius just asked you?"
"Albus," Sirius started, "how long have you been listening?"
"Long enough my dear boy," Dumbledore said with the twinkle in his eye noticeably dimming. "Can I please talk to you in the next room?"
Sirius shot Harry a quick glance but followed the headmaster into the next room.
"How did it go Sirius?"
"Albus, he feels betrayed and he doesn't trust anyone anymore."
"Except you," Dumbledore pointed out.
Sirius glared at the old wizard. "You should not have been listening."
"I assure you that it was not on purpose. I merely came to check on the both of you and I overheard. I know he feels betrayed and he his very skeptical about whom to trust now. I only wish he could forgive me and more now that you are in his life again."
"Albus, he is furious at you most of all. You were the one he put all is trust into but then he found out about the prophecy and other things that you have kept from him. He has a right to be upset."
Dumbledore sighed. "That is why I want you to be there when I try to talk to him."
"What? Why?"
"You saw what happened in my pensieve. Harry really wanted to cause me pain but instead he broke some very valuable items of mine. I think that if you are here he won't blow up and cause a repeat of what happened at the end of last year."
"Alright headmaster but please be kind. He hates sympathy but that doesn't mean he hates kindness."
"Of course Sirius. I would never be anything other then kind to him."
Dumbledore followed Sirius into the room where Harry was. Unknown to the two older men, Harry had been listening to the entire conversation. He decided he would make something up so he could get them both off his back. He would just lie. Sirius sat down beside Harry and Dumbledore sat across from them.
"Harry," Sirius started hesitantly, "I would like you to answer that last question I asked you."
Harry just stared at Sirius not daring to look in the eyes of the headmaster. Time to lie.
Harry nodded and finally looked at Dumbledore.
"Yes, I trust you," he said. He wanted his face to sound truthful but he was self-conscience that it didn't. Everyone was silent as Harry and Dumbledore stared searchingly in each other's eyes.
"Harry," Dumbledore said after a minute, "you have to stop lying to everyone."
Harry looked down and Sirius' head shot up.
"What?" Sirius exclaimed.
"I'm not lying!" Harry protested.
"Harry, I see it in your eyes."
"That's not true. I trust you and...and I trust Sirius."
Dumbledore spoke softly. "I wish you would tell me the truth. Bottling up all your feelings like you do and not trusting most people can do harm to you emotionally."
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing Dumbledore say. Even though his accusations may be right that did not give him the right to tell him that he was lying about everything. "I tell the truth."
"Then Harry, tell me why you have been looking pale and close to death lately please."
"I.I.I haven't been feeling well. I.I was having nightmares and I couldn't sleep."
Harry was obviously lying through his teeth as he stuttered and slurred his words unclearly. He could usually lie so easily and convincingly but it was like he was being interrogated or something and Harry did not like that feeling at all.
Sirius frowned at Harry and Harry sighed heavily.
"Fine, so I lie but so does everyone else. You lie!"
"Yes Harry, I do and I am sorry."
Harry snorted. "I trust you in some ways Professor but in a lot of ways I don't. I know you would keep me safe but for my entire life you have kept secrets from me and you continue to do so. I trust you with my life and my safety."
"Very well Harry. And about you being sick?"
"I don't know," Harry lied again.
"Harry, did you know your eye twitches slightly when you lie about something.
"Damn," Harry swore without realizing it. "Can I just be alone now?" Harry asked finally.
"Harry, it's almost time for my class. You have 15 minutes," Sirius said"
"Okay, am I allowed to tell Hermione and Ron that you are uh.you?"
Both Sirius and Dumbledore nodded and then left. Harry went to the Gryffindor common room and he saw Ron and Hermione getting ready for class.
"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Mate, where have you been? We have been so worried," Ron said.
"Can I talk to you guys a minute?" Harry asked.
"Sure Harry. What's wrong?"
"Sirius is alive," Harry whispered. Hermione and Ron gasped as Harry went on.
"He is disguised as Orion."
"Merlin Harry, when did you find out?" Hermione asked.
"Last night. I spent the night in his room." Harry told them all about how he got out of the veil and everything that happened. They were late to class by the time the conversation was over and to Hermione's great disappointment 10 points for taken off for their tardiness. Harry reminded them to act normal and not tell anyone. His two friends were almost a little offended at the obvious comment.
Harry did not ignore Professor Orion like he had every day before and Remus took notice to this. After class Harry stayed back.
"I guess you know," Remus said. Harry nodded.
"Harry," Sirius started in his Orion disguise. Sirius knew that something was wrong with his godson. "Why did you lie to Dumbledore?"
Harry shrugged.
"Follow me Harry. I want to ask you a question."
Harry followed Sirius into his room and sat down.
"Harry.why are you so afraid to show people your feelings?"
"What?" Harry asked shocked about what his godfather was asking at this particular random moment. Everyone always wanted to talk about his emotions. Things were getting so sappy lately and it seemed there was no way he could avoid it. What Dumbledore had said about bottling up your feelings was true and Harry knew it. The secret about him being a werewolf was making him miserable. The only person that knew was someone he was not at all close to.
"Sirius, what are you talking about? Why are you asking me this now?" Harry was quite surprised at what his godfather said next.
"You should never be afraid to cry Harry," Sirius said calmly.
Harry didn't know what to say. He let his emotions show the night before when he was with Sirius and that felt good but he couldn't do that all the time. He had to be strong if he was to be the golden boy and there was nothing he could do about that title.
"Sirius I."
"Call me Orion Harry from now on."
"Orion I.I.just don't know how. I want to trust people but it's just hard."
"I know Harry but you know you can trust me and tell me anything."
Sirius gave Harry a hug. Harry's mind was racing. He couldn't tell that he was a werewolf. There were just some things that were best kept secret.
"Is there anything you wanted to tell me Harry?"
Harry hesitated for a moment and then he shook his head. "Alright Harry. I'll see you later."
The next couple of days Harry spent time with Sirius. He was glad that he could but he still didn't talk to Dumbledore. It wasn't like he got the perfect chance either but he just wanted to give them each a little break from seeing each other. That was what Harry decided.
The night of the full moon Harry told his friends after dinner that he was going to the hospital wing because he wanted to get some dreamless sleep potion. Instead of doing that he went to his room and quickly drank his wolfsbane potion. Then he went to the whomping willow to await the painful transformation that he had done only once before. Just as he got inside he started to transform. He fell to his knees. He felt his bones and muscles shift painfully. His body felt like it was breaking in a million different pieces. Hot needles were jabbing him everywhere and fur grew all over Harry's body. He let out a loud scream, which sounded more like a howl. It hurt more than the Cruciatus curse and it felt like the pain went on forever.
Not soon enough the pain had seceded. Harry wanted to run and he wanted to not be cooped up. His mind was his own. He curled up near the corner and tried so hard to stay under complete control. Time felt like it had slowed down immensely. About an hour later his strong senses picked up on a scent and a loud noise. Someone was coming and he had to get out fast. He saw a werewolf coming and he knew immediately that it was Remus. Moony saw Harry and tried to come up to him but Harry backed away and slipped out. Harry prayed that Moony didn't know it was him. Without another thought Harry sped out and into the forbidden forest. The second werewolf was on his tail. They both ran through the warm sticky night. Harry weaved around the trees in the forest and managed to lose his former DADA professor after several hours. Harry fell asleep in the nook of a tree only to wake up at sunrise 3 hours later.
He went through the opposite change so he was human again. His body felt like it had been cursed with Cruciatus a million times and he knew he had to see Professor Snape for some pain-relieving potion. There was no one else he could tell after all.
Harry hoped that Lupin didn't know that he was a werewolf. Remus couldn't have figured it out.
Remus had a feeling he knew who that strange werewolf was. The signs were so obvious and they all pointed to Harry. How had Harry become a werewolf and when was he bitten. Remus Lupin didn't know what to do but he did know that he had to talk to Harry.
Harry dragged his feet to the dungeons in search of Snape. It took him quite awhile to get there but as soon as he could he knocked on the classroom door and was greeted by a grouchy looking Snape, even more so than usual. Harry was a little surprised that Snape was up at six in the morning but he quickly forgot about it as his potions master pointed to a dark corner and told him to be quiet and stand there for a moment. Harry did as he was told and he leaned up against the wall. The corner was so dark that if someone looked over at Harry he wouldn't be seen.
Barely a second later Professor Orion came back out of the room and walked past Harry without seeing him. Sirius came out and dragged Harry inside.
"Uh...Professor?" Harry questioned.
"Potter," Snape slurred. "Orion was just getting some paint relieving potion for Remus since Madame Pomphrey is out. I did not want him to see you like this or he would have definitely suspected something. Now," he growled," What do you want?"
"Um.. same as Remus please."
"It's Professor Lupin Potter. You should not get accustomed to calling your teachers by there first names.
"Yes sir, can I have some potion?"
"What? I thought the golden boy er.. nevermind. I'll get you some." Snape was about to say something but he quickly stopped himself when he remembered a conversation earlier about hating being the center of attention and being Dumbledore's golden boy. Sometimes Snape forgot that he had mentally agreed not to torment the-boy-who-lived as much and about certain things.
Snape got three vials of potion and Harry drank all of them immediately without asking what they were first. Harry didn't realize it but he trusted Snape. Harry felt better but he felt extremely tired.
"Follow me Potter," Snape said walking into his personal quarters. Snape threw a pillow at Harry, which Harry caught with ease and then he gave the man a confusing look.
"Sleep here Potter. I know this is probably the last place you want to be but Pomphrey isn't here and if you go to the hospital wing Black will know. I also think it is my responsibility unfortunately to make sure you survive this lycanthropy for now since I am the only one who knows and I am not telling you. You need sleep. Don't worry about your morning classes. I will wake you up in time for potions," Snape told him gruffly.
Harry thanked him and lay down on the couch, which was very comfortable and smelled like warm spices. Harry fell asleep immediately after Snape left.
A/N- Ansgty wasn't it? I am not sure how well I did the whole werewolf thing. Please don't flame me on that. I try hard to make it sound accurate but some things I am not sure about. Sorry if that bothers you. I need some feedback. I really do. Do you like angst? Am I getting too emotional? I think I am going to stop with so many emotions for the time being. I can't resist writing a fic without angst. This wasn't even an angst fic at first but I honestly couldn't resist. Please review. If I get enough reviews to make me happy I will put a new chapter up tomorrow!!!!
*Poll*
How should Hermione and Ron find out?
They overhear and think it's a lie?
Harry tells them?
They figure it out on their own?
PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Cookies to all my reviewers!!!!