Blackbird
By: Lily DeSilva

Summery: Very sad. Illyria finds out about music, and Wes remembers Fred.
Spoilers: Underneath
Album: The White Album
Song: Blackbird Artist: The Beatles
Writer: Lennon / McCartney
A/N: I also used a Backstreet Boys song (Which I hate). I don't own either song. Sorry to any Backstreet Boys fan
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Dedicated to Nookyfiction, who e-mailed me almost every day and asked when another chapter was coming. Thanks.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man orders a scotch and soda. The second man remembers something he'd forgotten, and it doubles him over with pain. He falls to the floor, shaking…and then through the floor and into the Earth. He looks up at the first man, but he doesn't call out to him. They're not that close.

Another dream, another awakening, another day without Fred. And, most of all, another day with that demon, that horrible demon, walking around Wolfram and Hart. 'This is reality,' thought Wesley Whyndam-Pryce, 'my reality.'

Getting up and ready for work was now a chore, one he absolutely didn't want to do. Going to work was now upsetting, nothing else. He used to enjoy it, even look forward to it. Now, all he could think about was walking into the building and seeing her. Illyria. How he hated having to look at her, having to be reminded of how Fred died. Everything she did, said, even the way she stood, unmoving, in his office day-by-day, reminded him of his lost love.

Finally, he gave up his mental struggle with himself and rolled off the bed. Stretching, he walked into the bathroom and commenced his morning routine. At half-past-nine he strolled into Wolfram and Hart, past Harmony, and into his office. Surprisingly, Illyria was not there.

'Not that I care about a demon God-King,' he thought. 'In fact, I could care less what happens to her.' With that, he set to work on that day's case.

"Uh, Wes?" Harmony's voice echoed over the intercom.

Wesley pushed a button on the device. "What is it, Harmony?"

"Uh, you might want to see this."

With a sigh, he heaved himself out of his chair, and headed towards the lobby. The sight that greeted his was, not just unwelcoming, but rather disturbing.

Illyria was standing in the middle of the lobby, clutching Harmony's CD player and singing in a very metallic voice. Unsettling, yes, but what was more so was the song itself.

"All you people can't you see, can't you see
How you're love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life!" Illyria was screaming, literally, and swaying to the beat.

Wesley's eyes narrowed. "HARMONEY!"

"I swear, Wes! It wasn't me! She sorta insisted I teach her about music, and this was the only CD I had with me!" Harmony cowered behind her desk.

"I don't care. I don't even know why you listen to that trash, just GET THE CD AWAY FROM HER, AND GET HER INTO MY OFFICE!" Wes screamed, scaring away many evil lawyers.

Not particularly interested in the would-be-struggle between God-king and vampire, Wes headed back to his office. After closing the door, he sighed and went to unlock the bottom drawer of his desk. Opening it, he reached inside and thumbed through a small collection of his own CD's, and found what he was looking for.

With another sigh, he popped the case open and placed the disk in his CD player. Ignoring the shouts of "Hey!", "That's my hair!", and "Be quiet, foolish vampire!", he began to listen.

Finally, a disheveled-looking Harmony lead Illyria into Wes's office, grunted, and stomped away. Not looking up, Wes skipped ahead a few songs, and pushed pause.

"If you must learn about music, Illyria, at least listen to something good." He got up and took a few steps twords her.

"I enjoy music. I wish to learn." Illyria's voice still tore at his heart.

"Fine." Turning around, he pressed play. Paul McCartney's voice filled the small room.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

The sweet sound of the guitar caused Illyria to look up. She tilted her head slightly, and continued to listen.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird, fly
Blackbird, fly
Into the light of the dark black night

Tears began to weld up in Wes's eyes. 'I won't cry,' he promised himself, 'I won't allow her to see my pain.'

Blackbird fly
Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night

As hard as he tried, he couldn't do it. The tears came, slow at first, but slowly faster. He stood, quietly sobbing, until the song finished.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Not capable of looking at Illyria, Wes turned away. "That was Fred's favorite song." He chocked back a sob. "Now, get out of here. Go hit Spike, go do anything, but get out of my sight."

Not wanting to argue for once, Illyria stomped away, leaving Wesley in his misery.

Another day, another nightmare, another reality he would have to live with his entire life. Pushing repeat, he turned around and cried himself to sleep in his chair. He wept for Fred, himself, and for the blackbird singing in the dead of night.