A/N: I love Paul McCartney, but this was something I did for Bug. Bug, I hope you enjoy this tasteless joke at my expense!

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Being a ghost sucks. Sure, the whole walking through walls thing, and the ability to spy on Peaches and annoy Percy, now that's all great fun.

But the rest of it's crap.

Like, being stuck in the bloody lab while the little bird runs tests on me whist listening to the Dixy Chicks, or worse, the Beatles, now that's worse than hell.

No, it's its own hell.

Right now she's listening to that crap album "Help" and it's getting stuck in my head. Who the bloody hell cares if some old bloke's 'got another girl'? I've had lots of girls! Well, not recently, but close enough! Is nineteen days recent? Never mind.

"Fred, love, would you mind changing the music? I really like…" Oh, crap. All she did was change the song. I guess her head is all filled up with physics talk, and she didn't hear. Or maybe she just wants to annoy me.

That ponce Paul McCartney's voice filled the lab and Fred closed her eyes and started to listen.

Oh, C'mon Fred! I hate Paul McCartney. Can't we listen to something else? Something good?

Oh, it's no use. She won't change it. She's bloody obsessed!

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Hey, this song kinda sounds like my life. Y'know, I was normal (well, as normal as a vampire with a soul-type-thing can be), and now I'm a ghost, and now I have troubles. Give the ghosty a prize.

Suddenly,
I'm not half the man I used to be,

Wait a minute…Paul McCartney's a man? More like a goat. Haha! Substitution complete!

Suddenly,
I'm not half the goat I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

There. That's much better. Hahaha! He's a goat! Burn!

Why she
Had to go
I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong,
now I long for yesterday.

What the h-e-double hockey sticks is he talking about? Why the freak would anyone long for yesterday when you can live for today, or, Heck, even tomorrow? Hey, tomorrow can have good things, too. Like cards. Or lovely maidens who do my bidding. Or being solid. Or…uh…other things.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Since when is love a game? Pretty sick and twisted game, if you ask me.

Why she
Had to go
I don't know, she wouldn't say.
I said,
Something wrong,
now I long for yesterday.

Aw, look at Fred. Cute little bird. You can tell she's loving this. Not just the music, but me having to listen to it.

Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Mmmmmm

What? It's over? Well, that was short. Like, what, two minutes and seven seconds? Two minutes and seven seconds of really good music. Ok, I'll admit it. I like the Beatles. But don't tell anyone. Not even Fred. They'll think that I'm soft.

Oh, thank the heavens! She's changing the CD. As long as it's not…

Oh, no…

Magical Mystery tour.

Crap.