Augur
I was sipping my coffee when he staggered in. I didn't follow him last night. Oh, I wanted to but I'm not his nursemaid and no matter that he's young as hell he's been taking care of himself for a long time. I could see it in his face last night; he was hurting and ready to explode. I was right. I could hear the tirade from the kitchen. When Liam did something he never did it quietly. Still I couldn't blame him. The universe has treated him like a doormat that it doesn't much like. No, if I was him I think I would have had a postal episode. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say that would have eased his pain. Saying I knew how he felt would be so condescending the words probably would choke me as they left my throat. I have no idea how he feels. I do know how he was going to react though.
I've been there enough times when he's blown. Heck, I was the one who bought him a punching bag so he'd stop wrecking my furniture. Liam's outbursts are like a tsunamis, a huge wave that crashes down destroying everything but gone in an instant. Liam cools off quickly. He just can't stay mad. He's too forgiving. He forgave me. He forgave Sandoval for heaven's sake! Liam doesn't linger over his anger, he moves on. No matter what he says when he blows he's not a quitter. He's a protector. Yeah, I heard that too. Liam doesn't want to go back. He wants to stay here, safe. He wants to be able to live and not see death at every turn. I can't say I blame him. He's just a child.
What's the definition of a hero? Oh, I'm sure if I looked it up in the dictionary there would be some neat little sentence supposedly summing up everything that makes a hero. I may not know exactly what a hero is but I do know one thing. Heroes break. Heroes die. Heroes are the best of us. Heroes do the things they do so that others don't have to. I'm no hero. I might have been able to tell Boone that the world could go to hell and actually let it. That's why I'll never make a good hero. I'm too damn self- serving. Liam - well - he's too damn noble for his own good. Saving everyone he can even the enemy. He's a hero. I could hear him cracking last night but he didn't break. No, cracks can heal, can close up, breaks take time to mend. He hasn't broken yet and God help us he never will. Liam is everything good about humanity. He's a hero.
So the look in his eyes doesn't surprise me in the least. He can't not help. He's made his decision. There really was no decision to make. He's a hero. Heroes save the world.
For a moment I cursed him and me. I've spent most of my life keeping people at a distance. I learned young that it hurts less that way. I'd show people what they wanted to see and let them think what they wanted of me. So what do I do? I start befriending heroes. Heroes have this tendency to end up dead. They go down in blazes of glory. Hell, the guy in the next room was a friend too and look what happened to him. Well, he didn't exactly die but… Damn. Where did Liam get those hero inclinations from any way? Certainly not Sandoval. Maybe his mother I never met Siobhan so maybe she was the source of his suicidal tendencies.
I took a deep breath and let out my anger. Railing at the world didn't do anyone any good and mean while the kid was looking at me, pleading me to understand. I did. That didn't mean I had to like it. Resigned I asked, "So I guess this means the holiday's over?" I smiled weakly to let him know I understand.
Liam still looked guilty. He knows me as well as I know him. He's knows I just about rather do anything than risk my hide. "Yes… Augur…" He seemed at a loss for words. He waved his hands in helplessness.
"It's time to go play hero again kid." I set my mug down and mock glared at him. "Now don't you start thinking I'm your loyal side kick. I never looked good in tights." He smiled at my jab. I'm the only one who can get away with calling him kid. I think I do it to remind him that though he looks 30 he doesn't always have to act it around me. I am 30 and I don't act it even half the time why should he? Now I just had to get him to stop feeling guilty. A guilty Liam made for some pretty bad company.
"Oh, I don't know. I imagine the women go crazy for a man in tights." He's tone lost that guilty edge and took on a teasing one instead.
"What would you know about it?" I threw back. Liam just smiled. "So, you going to tell Boone you've reconsidered?" He just kept on smiling. Mission accomplished. Now all that was left to do was pack. Then it was back to fighting for to save the world and not even being paid for it. Oh joy.
I was sipping my coffee when he staggered in. I didn't follow him last night. Oh, I wanted to but I'm not his nursemaid and no matter that he's young as hell he's been taking care of himself for a long time. I could see it in his face last night; he was hurting and ready to explode. I was right. I could hear the tirade from the kitchen. When Liam did something he never did it quietly. Still I couldn't blame him. The universe has treated him like a doormat that it doesn't much like. No, if I was him I think I would have had a postal episode. There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could say that would have eased his pain. Saying I knew how he felt would be so condescending the words probably would choke me as they left my throat. I have no idea how he feels. I do know how he was going to react though.
I've been there enough times when he's blown. Heck, I was the one who bought him a punching bag so he'd stop wrecking my furniture. Liam's outbursts are like a tsunamis, a huge wave that crashes down destroying everything but gone in an instant. Liam cools off quickly. He just can't stay mad. He's too forgiving. He forgave me. He forgave Sandoval for heaven's sake! Liam doesn't linger over his anger, he moves on. No matter what he says when he blows he's not a quitter. He's a protector. Yeah, I heard that too. Liam doesn't want to go back. He wants to stay here, safe. He wants to be able to live and not see death at every turn. I can't say I blame him. He's just a child.
What's the definition of a hero? Oh, I'm sure if I looked it up in the dictionary there would be some neat little sentence supposedly summing up everything that makes a hero. I may not know exactly what a hero is but I do know one thing. Heroes break. Heroes die. Heroes are the best of us. Heroes do the things they do so that others don't have to. I'm no hero. I might have been able to tell Boone that the world could go to hell and actually let it. That's why I'll never make a good hero. I'm too damn self- serving. Liam - well - he's too damn noble for his own good. Saving everyone he can even the enemy. He's a hero. I could hear him cracking last night but he didn't break. No, cracks can heal, can close up, breaks take time to mend. He hasn't broken yet and God help us he never will. Liam is everything good about humanity. He's a hero.
So the look in his eyes doesn't surprise me in the least. He can't not help. He's made his decision. There really was no decision to make. He's a hero. Heroes save the world.
For a moment I cursed him and me. I've spent most of my life keeping people at a distance. I learned young that it hurts less that way. I'd show people what they wanted to see and let them think what they wanted of me. So what do I do? I start befriending heroes. Heroes have this tendency to end up dead. They go down in blazes of glory. Hell, the guy in the next room was a friend too and look what happened to him. Well, he didn't exactly die but… Damn. Where did Liam get those hero inclinations from any way? Certainly not Sandoval. Maybe his mother I never met Siobhan so maybe she was the source of his suicidal tendencies.
I took a deep breath and let out my anger. Railing at the world didn't do anyone any good and mean while the kid was looking at me, pleading me to understand. I did. That didn't mean I had to like it. Resigned I asked, "So I guess this means the holiday's over?" I smiled weakly to let him know I understand.
Liam still looked guilty. He knows me as well as I know him. He's knows I just about rather do anything than risk my hide. "Yes… Augur…" He seemed at a loss for words. He waved his hands in helplessness.
"It's time to go play hero again kid." I set my mug down and mock glared at him. "Now don't you start thinking I'm your loyal side kick. I never looked good in tights." He smiled at my jab. I'm the only one who can get away with calling him kid. I think I do it to remind him that though he looks 30 he doesn't always have to act it around me. I am 30 and I don't act it even half the time why should he? Now I just had to get him to stop feeling guilty. A guilty Liam made for some pretty bad company.
"Oh, I don't know. I imagine the women go crazy for a man in tights." He's tone lost that guilty edge and took on a teasing one instead.
"What would you know about it?" I threw back. Liam just smiled. "So, you going to tell Boone you've reconsidered?" He just kept on smiling. Mission accomplished. Now all that was left to do was pack. Then it was back to fighting for to save the world and not even being paid for it. Oh joy.