A/N Hi, new chapter again, isn't that awesome, what's just as awesome are all the reviews I received for the last chapter and the advice, it helps a lot. Nyways hope ya'll like this one.
CHAPTER 10: SECRETS OF THE HEARTSyaoran lazily opened the door. A bite of frustration had left a visible scar. He shrugged his shoulders purposely and heaved a sigh. He didn't know where he stood, was he in love with her? But how, how did it happen so fast? Was it even possible? Why was it killing him so much? He tucked his tongue behind his cheek and slowly walked through the door. For some reason he felt that being gloomy, annoyed and frustrated was the only way of showing how he really felt inside. His presence did nothing to show the way it hurt not having her.
"Syaoran Honey…" Yelan walked over to her son, she immediately noticed how messy his hair was but she managed to block the thought of lecturing him. He looked as though he had been in a fight or had just awoken from bed. He closed the door behind him and moaned "Not now Mom." He said flatly. All he could think about was her, when did he fall so deep?
"Syaoran" Yelan repeated this time with more depression.
Syaoran looked at her, he immediately recognized the look on her face, the look that carried a miserable meaning. A rush of blood flowed to his head and he quickly ran his fingers through his chestnut hair.
"Mom…is everything okay?" he purposely hit his forehead and sighed "Let me guess, we are moving again, right?"
Yelan shook her head and hugged him, he didn't respond. As she released him she looked at him and rubbed his cheek that currently had a smudge on it. Syaoran could already feel the tension building. "Mom, if there is something wrong I think I have the right to know." He demanded.
"Your friend Sakura, she's in the hospital. She was in a car accident. I'm not sure us she is okay but-" she paused when she saw the look on his face, it was nothing she had ever seen, the fear in his eyes was traceable and with every second he trembled.
He walked past her and scratched his head "Is she alright?"
Her shoulders slightly rose "I don't know." He covered his mouth. Aimlessly he stood without saying anything. There was not telling what he was thinking.
"I'm sorry Syao, but…." Yelan finally noticed the fear in his eyes grow. It was as though he was trying to say something but the words wouldn't come out. He quickly ran his fingers through his hair again.
"Which Hospital…are you sure it-" he stopped breathless. When did he grow to care about her so much? When had these feelings arrive and why didn't anyone warn him, why didn't he realize that he would hurt if anything was to happen to her. He closed his eyes and breathed for air feeling as though someone held their hands tight around his throat. She had to be alright if anyone can pull through it was her but then why was he so afraid. He gave his mother a quick glance and walked to the door. Quickly he opened it but before he could walk out his mother shouted "You can't just go out! At least get something to drink."
Syaoran turned to his mother. His intense amber eyes darkened.
"Mother, Sakura needs me and you want me to get something to eat!"
Yelan blinked confused, Syaoran always did what he was told, he never argued or complained. He always believed she knew best. Where was this sudden rage of anger coming from?
"I just…I just think she needs her family more."
Syaoran tried to close his eyes to ease his frustration. "Damn it mother, right now I'm all she really has!"
He didn't want to hurt her by being disrespectful but he grew to love Sakura, he couldn't let her slip away just because of his mothers decision. He took one step outside.
"Syaoran." She said calmly despite the aftershock of his behavior,
"What!" Syaoran snapped.
"I'll drive you there."
Syaoran relaxed his shoulders. He wished he had the strength to apologize or ask for forgiveness but he just wasn't in the mood.
…………………………………………………………..
He could feel her gaze "She should be paying attention to the road." He thought to himself releasing a sigh. He had no time to think about her disappointment in him. He had more important things to think about. She stopped at the traffic lights and looked at him again.
"What is it about this girl?" her voice was calm but Syaoran could see right though her, he knew exactly what she was implying, is she good enough for you.
"Everything, I love everything about her, She tries to be mean and tough yet she knows very well that I can see through her, It used to scare me that I could, I though I was going crazy. I always thought that there was more to her and she proved me right."
Yelan gave a disapproving look on her face "It's never safe to feel this way about anyone at you're age Syaoran, they are many consequences."
"Why are you always thinking I'll end up doing the same mistakes you did!" he snapped, why was he suddenly so angry, he didn't want to feel an emotion like that at such a time. He knew for a fact that the whole matter was eating him alive. He felt as though he was to blame. He could have stopped her from leaving, he could have held her tightly and never let go but above all things, he should have told her he loved her.
"I'm sure she'll make it." Yelan said something comforting for once. Syaoran looked at her, the hardness in his eyes softened.
"I can't wait to see her." He murmured "When I do, I'll pull her into my arms and never let her go. I'll ki-" He paused when he realized who he was talking to, the one person who resented love and romance. Though he appreciated the fact that she did not remarry after the death of his father, she was lonely. Syaoran knew the basic things about his father including what a big impact he made on her from the day they met.
She slightly smiled "You scared me back there but it's about time I let you go. I'm still going to be holding unto you but not as tight."
He glared at her with appreciation.
"As strange as it may come to you I trust you."
Syaoran's eyes slightly widened and the feeling of disbelief that she'll make it evaporated.
…………………………………………………….
He reached at the hospital and rushed to the counter.
"Kinomoto! Sakura Kinomoto!" he shouted out of breath. The nurse fixed her curly hair gently patting it. She gradually fixed the collar of her white blouse and pulled out a packed of gum from her pocket with her long skinny fingers. She slowly chewed the gum and quickly licked her lips making a strange sound in her throat. Syaoran rolled his eyes giving out a sigh.
"Lady! What the hell do you think you're doing. The girl I lo..."
"Syaoran? Syaoran, you're here." He heard her voice from behind. Quickly he turned around to find her standing before him.
"You're…you're okay." He hesitated in disbelief. Just when he thought he would never see her beautiful face again, there it was right in front of him.
She kept silent, tear stains were on her cheeks and the sadness in her eyes was clearly visible. He took a few short steeps until he was only inches away from her. He smiled embracing her every second of it.
"I thought, I thought…" his words trailed off.
He roughly grabbed her and pulled her into his arms her head buried under his chin. He wanted to hold her that way and never let go. She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and whispered "It's Touya." Her voice was unsteady. "He is in the emergency room." She cried.
He pulled her out of his arms and held both of her shoulders "Look Sakura, Touya is going to be fine."
She slightly turned her face away. Tears had already threaten to fall, it was just about time for her to cry uncontrollably "It's my entire fault…it will always be my fault."
Syaoran's eyes softened, he began to see how vulnerable she really was.
"Kinomoto Sakura? Are you Kinomoto Sakura?"
Syaoran quickly removed his hands from her shoulders. Sakura turned around to the Doctor "I'm Kinomoto Sakura. How is Touya, will he be alright?"
"Well…" he began.
Syaoran looked at Sakura as she bit her lower tip and her hands slowly began to tremble.
"He lost a great amount if blood and…" As the doctor went on Sakura went completely blank, she couldn't hear a thing. Next thing she closed her eyes and she was gone.
…………………………………………………………………..
Sakura slowly opened her eyes to the white light. She blinked and lay numb. How long was she gone, she couldn't remember a thing. She stared at the ceiling a little longer and realized that she wasn't at home. Quickly in panic she sat up and looked around, the room was covered in lavender wallpaper and they were a few paintings on the wall. She was on a bed, a double bed? She looked down at what she was wearing. A pink dress, as she glared at it everything slowly came back, the accident and Touya's condition. Her heart skipped a heart beat. She slowly walked sneaked to the door gradually opening it. She looked out and immediately recognized the place. She tip toed out of the room until she was by the stair case. She noticed a light coming out from the kitchen. "Oh no." she panicked frozen.
She heard footsteps then finally saw the image, it was Syaoran. She took a deep breath and looked up at him.
"Hi" he said softly and unsure.
Sakura looked down to her feet a little embraced "Hi."
"Are you okay now?"
She looked up "I don't know…what happened after I fainted?"
"I caught you when you fainted and we got you into the car then here."
"We?"
Syaoran slightly smirked "Yeah, my mother and I. You've been out all along."
She took one step down "What time it? She murmured.
"Um…around two, you should get back to bed."
"No…I can't, what are you doing up?"
"I couldn't sleep." He turned his head away from her for a second and rubbed the back of his neck.
"How come?" she looked up.
"I was worried about you." His cheeks slowly turned red.
She didn't say anything to it though she found it comforting that he cared so much about her. "How is Touya?"
A beam of hope filled her eyes. Syaoran looked at her smiled.
"He's fine, he'll be out in a week or so."
Sakura smiled "A week? I'm going to home alone for a week."
He looked straight at her "You can stay here a few days if you want. My mother won't mind."
"I'll think about it."
"Hey, you want cookies and milk."
"Well, um not really…"
"Come on, consider it an after midnight snack."
She nodded "Okay, fine…if you insist."
(Syaoran's POV)
She grabbed a cookie and held it at the tip of her fingers "How funny is this." she spoke trying to cover the fact that she had been crying.
"Funny?"
She slightly smiled "Yeah, you're supposed to be annoying and I'm supposed to be trying as hard as I can to make any contact with you but…."
"Yeah, I get what you mean but you know what I don't get, why you were blaming you're self at the hospital, why you're always blaming yourself."
Her face went blank and pale. She bit the cookie and took a sip of the milk. Taking a while to swallow she looked at me and replied "Why is milk white."
I deliberately sighed "Come on; don't try to ignore the subject like you always do. You and I know perfectly well what happened today. You just can't forget about it just like that. There still many things I don't know about you Sakura, all am asking is that you open up to me for once."
She put the glass of milk on the table and softly said, "Alright then, what do you want to know?"
"What is it that makes you mad all the time or what made you forget about all the people that were once in you're lift?"
There was a thread of silence, the beat of her heart beat kept the moment alive and the glow in her eyes was like nothing I had ever seen, it carried beauty, curiosity and danger. The kind of danger that attracted me to her, the edge I needed. She rubbed the tip of her nose and turned her eyes away from me. It reminded me of the days when out relationship was still young. With one blow she muttered "It has always been my fault."
The statement did not grab me by surprise "Why do always say that?"
She tightened both her hands into a fist and hit the table. With awe, tears slowly filled her eyes.
"Syaoran, why don't you ever understand, why are you trying to push this?" her lip curled up as she waited for a response.
I would have responded earlier if I had not been embracing her sensuous beauty, the beauty of her cry. I gently shook my head. "I just don't want our friendship to have any strings attached."
Her tears fell from her eyes drop by drop. She quickly rubbed them with her hands. Her eyes turned a bitter red that failed to steel her beauty.
"Don't cry, you have to be strong." My words came out weak.
"My father..." she began and sniffed "He dies because of me/"
She had said it before but never told me why. I reached out for her hand and gently touched it, she looked down at it and her tears fell on my hand. As they slid down she looked up at me.
"I was 12, I was sick." She said delusional "My father went to the pharmacy to get me some cough drops…on his way back he was in an accident. That morning I walked past his room, the door was opened and at the time I didn't know a thing of the accident. The room was empty and untouched. It was almost as though his presence has disappeared, I didn't understand. As I came downstairs I heard Touya on the phone. He sounded like he had been crying." Her hands trembled, I pressed against them to stop them from moving.
"I heard the word died then father" she looked at me "See, it's my fault, I hadn't begged him to gone he should have been here and everything should have been alright."
I wanted to comfort her and make everything right, I couldn't. She pulled her hands away, lifted them up and buried her face in them. Her cry was not loud yet it was not low. I felt a small gap form between my lips.
"Sakura, look at me." I said trying not to break. I could almost feel my heart beating it my throat.
She slid her hands from her face and looked at me. "There is nothing you can say Syaoran that would change things."
"Maybe not but there something that can help you move on."
She blinked hard as the tears ceased to fall "What." Softly and patient she spoke.
I tried to smile to kill the blanket of sadness that fell upon her. "Accept and stop blaming yourself."
She blinked again "It's not that easy."
I leaned my head closer to her, I wanted to kiss her. There was never a moment when I had been so much in love with her. As I moved my head closer she looked into my eyes "Why id you're head so close to mine?" she asked grinning her sadness disappearing as fast as it had arrived. Did she know that I was trying to kiss her? I moved my head to the side of hers and whispered "Don't worry Sakura, I won't tell."
"You won't tell?" she asked with uncertainty and added "Won't tell what.
I backed away and lay back on the chair. "I won't tell what you don't want me to tell."
The puzzled expression didn't leave her face. I looked at her and blinked and blinked. She looked at me without a single blink "I won't tell everything about you to anyone if you don't want me to."
Finally, the expression that created a visible barrier between us faded.
"About me?"
"Yeah, you know the truth about you."
She sniggered then quickly got serious "Get straight to the point."
"Thing is, you are nothing people make you out to be. When we first became acquainted, all kept hearing about you was a bad reputation, how skipped classes and got into fight. I once even heard that you were in prison for a couple of months but was released cause you were too much for them."
Her face grew soft, her eyes said it all. All the rumors and lies people said hurt her more than she would ever admit. She put her hand on her chin and smirked "Ha, how pathetic."
"Yeah, I thought it was stupid. No matter what I heard. I always found you intriguing, I never knew why but now I know why I do."
She her head away coyly and waited for me to finish. "You're fun to be around and smart, you're pretty and talented but you know what I don't get…how that little body of yours manages to keep so many feelings and emotions bottled up inside."
She looked at me "If it helps you understand me better keeping things bottled inside doesn't take a lot of courage."
I nodded in agreement "I figured; letting them out is what takes courage and I know for a fact you have it."
She didn't say anything; I gazed at her for awhile as she stared at the table I slightly held her chin up with my thumb to capture her attention.
"Tell me Sakura-"
Those emerald stared at me, I kept my eyes opened, I didn't want to forget that look on her face.
"Tell you what?" she murmured.
"Tell me how you feel."
She looked at me with one eye opened then she opened both of them. I slowly released her chin from my thumb.
"Emotions…hmmm" she placed her index finger on her chin and made an expression that showed confusion.
"Come on Kinomoto, it's not a trick question." U blurted out,
She glared at me lamely, "Fine fine…I feel hungry."
I rolled my eyes and sighed "The cookies are right in front of you."
"Oh." She quickly picked one up and quickly bit it. Gradually and steadily she chewed it.
"Quit trying to escape the question. Just answer it."
She put the cookie back on the plate and looked straight into my eyes.
"Fear." She said with a straight face "I can feel the blood in my veins trembling the way body be. I feel like I'm going to break." She paused for awhile then continued "Doubtful, that's how I feel most of the time. Anger it's the only way of proving myself and pushing everyone else away. Though I feel all of these things none of them can compare to the feeling that's in my heart. It manages to fight them all."
"What feeling is that?"
She slightly smiled "Goodnight Syaoran."
She stood up, smiled and walked upstairs without looking back leaving me puzzled.
……………………..
SAKURA'S POVMorning fell upon me and the heat of the rising sun slowly heated my shoulder, my eyes were fully opened. That's how they had been all night. I couldn't stop Touya and everything that had happen. Suddenly there was a knock on the door I pulled the covers above my head and groggily said "Yes…"
"Madam…isn't it time for you to wake up, it's almost lunch time."
I felt my lip curl "Almost lunch time?" I whispered with panic, "Oh my gosh! They must think I'm lazy." I quickly crawled under the sheets and yelled. "May I ask who is speaking?" Where in the world did come from? I wasn't supposed to say that. I jumped out of bed before she could say "I'm the maid, I'm supposed to be cleaning, and Mr. Li insisted I wake you up."
I looked around for my clothes "In…a minute."
I looked at the dress I was wearing, the same old pink dress from the previous night. I couldn't let them see me in it yet I had no other choice. Quickly I opened the door and tried to smile.
"Good…um good morning?"
The woman had no expression on her face, I scanned her just to realize how well groomed she was, she almost looked like a French maid from a 60's movie. Her hair was tucked neatly in a bun and her uniform, well presented. I stood nervously when she smiled at me.
"Breakfast id downstairs."
I slightly smiled and walked past her "Hmm...Thank you"
I reached the massive room the called the living room and stopped. Was I lost? How come I never noticed how big his house really was? I looked around with slight amusement.
"Kinomoto…up? this early?" A voice behind me spoke. I smiled and I could already feel my cheeks turning red. I turned around and looked at him.
"Good morni-I mean afternoon to you too. Do you always get people to do you're dirty work. If you wanted me up you could have just knocked."
"See that will only be spoiling the fun of it all."
I rolled my eyes and folded my hands "What did I miss?"
He walked toward me and smiled back "Let see…breakfast."
I felt my lips stretch into a smile.
"Come on, lunch is ready, I'm sure you don't want to miss that too."
"Wait…is you're Mom or sisters…"
"No, they're out shopping, it's just you and I." He said quickly.
"Are you going to leave to leave me alone?"
Normal POVHe looked at her for a moment, trying to scan all her features in a blink of an eye, did she always look this cute in the morning? He rubbed his chin with his thumb then finally replied.
"Leave you? I'm shocked; I thought you knew me better than that." He said sarcastically.
Though it wasn't there to see Sakura sensed the change in his behavior, she had sensed it from the day Luca asked her out,
She sheepishly smiled and said "You never make things easy for me huh?"
"Not at all."
He gazed at her then suddenly held her wrist and pulled it "Well, don't just stand there, lunch is waiting."
That's all it took, a few simple words and his touch, she felt like she was in heaven.
He peeped a look then turned away again. If only she would pause for a n hour or more and him a chance to appreciate every bit of her. She slowly sank her teeth into the piece of steak. She pulled it out, chewed slowly with her mouth closed then she took a cloth and wiped the mouth that apparently had nothing on it. She knew he was watching, she didn't want him to think she was a pig. The words begged to come out; he opened his mouth quickly and let them out,
"You can dig in, you don't have to be picky around me."
Sakura swallowed and rested her arms on her lap. She sad up with her back straight
"Are you calling me picky?"
"Not exactly."
Sakura forced a mocking laugh "Me picky? I see where this is heading?" She stood up and walked to his side of the table "I many things, picky isn't one of them. I bet you'll go on in saying I'm a snob too and a next thing I know I'm the stupid one between us you…you pig." She said looking straight into his eyes. He pushed his chair back and stood up. Without a word he looked at her. She was nervous, she only talked nonsense and picked arguments with him when she was then it hit him, he was just as nervous. She was so delicate and vulnerable. What if he broke her with the wrong move,
He looked at her as she kept talking. Why in the world wasn't he moving, was her beauty that captivating or maybe he was loosing his mind.
"Kinomoto!" He spoke loudly and harshly, it was enough to silence her.
"You are not a snob or picky."
"She was speechless and her cheeks turned red "Well…" she kept her eyes fixed on him though she really wanted to turn away. She was doing it all wrong, what exactly was happening here. Suddenly he leaned over and kissed her. Her eyes widened and for a second she stopped breathing. She could feel them and they sent shivers down her spine but what was she supposed to do next. Move her head or her lips. It was all she ever wanted but why didn't she practice. The moment he realized there was no response he stopped. She looked at him her cheeks flushed and her eyes met his,
"Oh, no!" he hit his forehead "I'm stupid! I just had to go and ruin it all."
He looked at her feeling like a fool; She looked down and murmured.
"You're not stupid, if anyone is stupid…it's me."
He was startled and relieved at the same time "Huh?"
"I could have kissed you back…if I knew how to. You know when you kissed me in class…I was mad at you cause you stole my first kiss I didn't want it to be you but now…"
Syaoran smiled and softly touched her cheek. His fingers traveled to her jaw line then to her cheek. He slightly lifted it up and stared deeply into her eyes "I can teach you…"
As romantic as he was being she still felt ashamed. Ashamed of how inexperienced she was. Other girls would have already been kissing him.
"Close you're yes." He whispered,
She did as told. He slightly pushed her bangs from her hair "Keep you're lips still." he touched them with is thumb making a small gap between them.
Like it or not, let me know, if they r stupid little spelling mistakes I might have missed sowry. Keep you're eyes peeled for the next chapter, it might even be the last!